Tell Me What You Want
by MusicMovesMyPen
Summary: Jasper is constantly searching for someone new to warm his bed at night. Edward is desperately seeking someone to love. When these two meet everything changes for them. Will it be for the better or for the worst? Slash/OOC
1. Chapter 1

**_SM owns._**

**__**Thanks go out to the very generous Cocoalvin who beta'd for this chapter. Any grammatical errors or typos are, however, mine alone.**_  
><em>**

**_ **_Hello all! This is my first crack at slash and I hope you all enjoy. If this all goes according to plan this story will have short chapters but update frequently. This story will have a few dark themed moment but I will definitely warn you all before hand. I thought about telling people under the age of 18 not to read this but I happen to know that the only way to get someone under the age of 18 to do something is to tell them not to and vice versa. So read away minors!_** _**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

I couldn't stop watching him. We were all at some nightclub with loud pulsing music, strobe lights, and hot sweaty bodies. Edward was included in those hot sweaty bodies. His shirt had been removed by his boyfriend long ago, and I hadn't been able to take my eyes off him ever since. I openly stared at his hard abs, pink dusky nipples, muscled and toned arms, broad shoulders, and narrowed hips.

Edward was a beautiful man. No one could deny that. I'd been forming a storyline around his beauty since he'd arrived tonight. I worked as an erotic fiction writer and often filled the pages of my novels with my own sexual escapades. I was to determined for Edward to be one of those escapades. From the way that he looked and the way that he moved I knew this man was designed to give and receive sexual pleasure. I wanted him in my bed so badly it hurt. My cock was literally in pain as it throbbed for him.

I usually preferred women, but in the past I'd slept with of men as well. I didn't subscribe to any labels and I liked to keep my options open. All sexes were attracted to me and while I usually went for the girls, a man would catch my eye from time to time. Now was such a time and Edward was that man. I'd met him just a couple of weeks ago. All I pretty much knew about him, was that he'd moved here to Chicago from some dinky little town in Washington state about two years ago. We'd met through my sister little Rosalie who he became friends with after assisting her every time she shopped at the high end clothing store where he worked. I hadn't known Edward was gay until tonight though when he showed up on the arm of this asshole named Royce.

"Who are you over there thinking about, Hale?" Emmett asked, elbowing me in the side as he and Rose came to sit down. I just glared at him in response. I loved Emmett. I really did. He was a good man and took good care of my sister. On the other hand, he was loud, crude, and often infantile. On top of that he was a beast of a man at 6'5, weighing about 250 of pure muscle, and he didn't know his own strength. I knew that his jab had been playful but I was certain there would be an ugly bruise on my side in the morning. "You got your eye on some girl?" he asked, trying to follow my line of sight and see who I was checking out.

I snorted a laugh and shrugged my shoulders, "You know me," I said. "I've got my eye on everybody."

"Whore," Rose accused after taking a shot of Patron.

I only smirked and turned back to Edward, whose swaying hips and insane bulge in front of his jeans were demanding my attention. I wanted to concentrate solely on him but that asshole he was dating was all over him and disrupting my gawking. The instant I set eyes on Royce I knew that I didn't like him and as the night progressed I started to hate him. I'd been watching Edward since they walked in and subsequently Royce as well. We'd been here for about an hour and I already knew what he was all about. He was possessive and, liked to flaunt Edward and show him off like a trophy, but would get pissy and jealous whenever anyone looked. He treated Edward like a child. He kept talking down to him and answering for Edward anytime someone directed a question toward him. I admit that a lot of it was jealousy. I wanted what he had, but at the same time Royce really was a dick and Edward deserved better.

Because I had been watching them so intently, I instantly knew when they were about to return to the table. I looked away not wanting Edward to think that I was a creeper. I wanted him to like me because even though I knew that he had a boyfriend, I had plans to fuck Edward sooner or later. When they slid into the booth, Royce ended up sitting next to me. I watched sadly as Edward put his shirt back on and then I had to hold back a groan as I watched him chug a bottle of water. Watching his throat move had my cock straining in my jeans and weeping with need. I palmed and adjusted myself under the table before signaling for the waitress and ordering everyone another round of shots.

"That's enough for us tonight," Royce interjected. "I have to work in the morning."

"What's that got to do with Edward?" Rose asked. I could hear the annoyance in her voice and I'm sure everyone else could as well. Clearly I wasn't the only one at this table who didn't think so highly of Royce.

"No, I'm pretty sure the real question is what does it have to do with you, Rosalie?" Royce shot back.

"Listen here you son of a…," she growled before Edward cut her off.

"Whoa! Whoa!" he said, putting his hand over Rose's hand that had balled into a fist on the table. "Everybody just calm down. It's not a big deal. I'm tired anyway. We should be heading home," Edward said.

"Are you fucking kidding me, E? We just got here! I haven't seen you in two weeks and I wanted to hang out with you tonight!" she said, pulling the puppy dogs eyes on him.

"I'm sorry, gorgeous," he replied, leaning over the table to kiss her lips in consolation. "Call me tomorrow. We'll do lunch or something, yeah?"

"Whatever," she sighed, looking away from him. I could see something akin to shame cross his features for a fleeting moment before Royce grabbed his hand and his smile returned.

"You two have a good night," Edward said to Rose and Emmett before turning to me and offering me his other hand. "And it was nice seeing you again, Jasper."

I grabbed his hand and shook it firmly. I held on longer than I should have, reveling his warm smooth skin. His hands were so large and I wanted to feel them on me. I held his emerald green gaze and hoped to make that desire clear to him. I knew that I'd succeeded when his eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly in shock. I smirked as he wrenched his hand away from me and hurriedly left with Royce.

"Edward has the shittiest taste in men," Rose said once they were out of earshot. Her words were angry but her tone was dejected. "It's like the worse men possible are magnetized to from miles and miles around just to hurt him."

Even though Rose had no idea about me wanting Edward, I still felt affronted by her words. Maybe because I knew that while I wasn't an asshole in the Royce sense, I wasn't that better of a choice either. I didn't really want a relationship with Edward. I just wanted to have him writhing under me and find out what his cum face looked like.

"Don't worry about it, babe," Emmett said, kissing her cheek. "Edward can take care of himself."

I could tell that Rose wasn't convinced but she dropped the subject anyway.

"Come on, Em," she said, getting up from the booth. "Take me home and fuck me before I get too drunk."

I frowned in disgust and Emmett's huge ass nearly flipped over the table in his haste to get up.

"I'm so glad you said that in front of me," I snarked, taking another shot and trying to drown all the unwanted images from my head. Rose grinned placing the back of her hand under her chin and waggling her fingers at me like the kids from Little Rascals. I shook my head and shooed them both away, laughing. I was officially at the booth alone but I didn't plan on staying that way. Edward had left me with a boner that just wouldn't go away and I needed someone to take care of it. I scanned the crowd looking for a twink to take home. I hadn't been with a man in years and figured I needed to freshen up on my skills in preparation for Edward.

Girls kept approaching my table. They were drawn in by my chin length wheat blond waves, sky blues, full pink lips, and dimples so deep that I didn't even need to smile to show them off. I turned each and every last one of them away though. After so many brush-offs, my target audience started to get the picture. I wasn't looking for a woman. The first guy to approach me was good looking enough and I was too horny to be picky. He was tall, yet a couple inches shorter than my 6'3, kind of scrawny, had short dark hair, and hazel eyes. He stopped in front of my table and opened his mouth to speak but I didn't need to hear it. I grabbed his hand and placed it over my aching cock. He groaned and I smiled at his reaction.

"Think you can handle that?" I asked.

"Oh, I know I can," he breathed.

"What's your name?"

"Demetri."

"Well, come to my place and prove it, Demetri."

I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. It wasn't half as appealing as watching Edward drink that water, but I had a feeling no one on earth would compare to that man. Demetri nodded his head and I threw some money on the table to cover the tab before leading him out of the club. Two hours and as many orgasms later, I was sprawled in my bed with Demetri's sleeping face in my crotch and smoking last my cigarette. While it had been good to have a release, I was still left unsatisfied. It was Edward that I wanted bouncing on my cock and I wouldn't rest until I got him.

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><p><em><strong>Alright, click review and tell me what you think!<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Sm owns.**_

_**Thanks go out to the very generous Cocoalvin who beta'd for this chapter. Any grammatical errors or typos are, however, mine alone. **_

**_ I also just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed, faved, and alerted this story. It felt amazing to see how well received the first chapter was!_****_ I do read, respond, and appreciate every review I get. Though this site does not allow responses for any unsigned reviews, I grateful for those too! _**

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

"Why do you hang out with her? She's a spoiled bitch and doesn't care about anyone but herself," Royce said on the ride back to his place. I sighed heavily and sank down in my seat. Royce had made it clear on many occasions that he didn't like Rosalie or any of my friends. When he first voiced his distaste for them, I'd defended them fiercely. Rose wasn't a spoiled bitch, just confident and tenacious. Emmett was fun loving and harmless, not an idiot brute. Esme wasn't weak and boring, she was shy but gentle and caring. Now though, I was too tired of the same arguments and just wanted to appease him.

"I'm sorry, Royce, they're the only friends I've got," I said.

He placed his hand on my knee and squeezed it comfortingly. "You've got me," he countered, glancing at me with a warm smile. "And my friends. You have more in common with them anyway," he told me.

I nodded my head in agreement even though I knew his words weren't true. His friends were all filthy rich yuppies who talked constantly about their work and politics. They liked hanging out at country clubs and playing golf and tennis. I made just enough money to comfortably take care of myself. I liked talking about music and fashion, and going dancing. I played baseball and sometimes a little football when Emmett wouldn't let me say no. Golf and tennis bored me to tears and whenever I was with him and his friends I always felt out of place and stupid.

When we got to his place, he immediately fell to his knees and undid my jeans. Royce had his flaws but so did I. There were never any complaints in the bedroom though. He was an attentive lover and knew exactly how to manipulate my body into a blissful frenzy. I let all thoughts drift away and gave myself over completely to the pleasure of my dick in his warm, wet mouth.

The next morning I awoke to the sound of my cell ringing in an empty bed. I wasn't surprised though. Royce always left for work at the crack of dawn. He worked for the Board of Trade and loved his job. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and answered without checking to see who it was.

"What?" I grumbled into the receiver.

"Rise and shine, asshole. It's almost noon why are still asleep?" Rose said loudly in my ear.

I grinned thinking about the night Royce and I had. "Do you want an overview or all the dirty details?" I asked, prompting a noise of disgust from her.

"Usually, I'm all for the details. You promised me lunch though, and Royce makes me lose my appetite," she replied.

I rolled my eyes and sat up in bed. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was indeed a quarter to noon.

"Alright, what time do you want to meet for lunch?" I asked.

"I know you need time to get ready. Can you make it to Portillo's by one?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I'll see you then."

I hung up the phone and hopped out of bed. I dressed quickly and left. It took me about 10 minutes by taxi to get from Royce's place to mine. I went through the whole grooming process with the exception of trying to brush my hair. It never behaved no matter what kind of product or treatment I put in it. I wasn't peeved by it though. It worked for me. Even I had to admit I looked freshly fucked and delectable with my hair wild like this. I dressed in dark jeans that weren't second skin like some guys wore. I liked for there to be some circulation in my lower extremities. My jeans were fitted just enough to show off my ass in the best light without looking like I'd painted them on. I paired them with a charcoal grey V-neck sweater and the new black boots I'd gotten from work last week. By the time I got to the restaurant where I was meeting Rose, I was ten minutes late, but she knew how I was and wasn't surprised or angered by my tardiness.

She was already seated when I walked in. I headed over to her and kissed her cheek before taking the chair across from her.

"So, what the hell was that last night?" she asked, not wasting any time.

"What do you mean? Your brother eye fucking me before I left?"

"No! But since I already know that Royce is an asshole and you're a pushover, I guess we can talk about Jasper first," she said. "He was eye fucking you, you say?"

"I am not a pushover, and yes, Jasper certainly was," I replied. "I thought you said he was straight?"

"No, I said he fucked a lot of girls. Jasper loves sex too much to pass it up just because someone has the same parts as him. He's an equal opportunity slut," she smiled, amused by her own quip.

I nodded my head as I took that information in. Jasper was drop dead gorgeous. He had the all-American blond hair and blue eyes thing going but with boyish dimples and a bad boy edge. He was all forms of sexy combined into one person. It was almost too much too handle. I was attracted to him of course, but who wasn't? He was a walking ode to beauty. I couldn't go there with him though. I was with Royce and we were happy together. I didn't want to mess that up.

"And your ability to attract all things vile strikes again," she sighed.

"Did you just say vile?" I asked incredulously. "He's your brother!"

"Yes, and I love him dearly. Doesn't change the fact that he's an emotionless whore who only seeks to get his rocks off. There's a trail of broken hearts behind him long enough to wrap around the world twice," she told me.

I shrugged my shoulders and didn't think anything else of it. Like I said, I was with Royce. I may be a lot of things but a cheater is not one. The waitress came to the table to take our orders. Portillo's was a restaurant where people came to get delicious food that you had to work like hell to keep from showing up on your ass later. Rose and I couldn't care less about that though. We indulged here quite often.

"Okay, so now tell me what the hell that was last night?" Rose asked, directing our conversation back to Royce.

"It was nothing. I don't understand why you have to goad him like that," I replied.

"I wasn't goading him! I just asked him a question. You've only been dating him three months and he already runs your entire life! That's not healthy, Edward, and you know it. How many times are you going to get yourself in this same situation?" she asked.

And just like that our nice amiable lunch turned ugly. I hadn't wanted to talk about Royce at all in the first place. Now she was harping on him like she always did, and it annoyed the shit out of me. I was happy in my relationship and I wanted her to be happy for me. Maybe in the past I'd made some fucked up choices but Royce was different. It was pissing me off that she couldn't see that.

"He doesn't run my fucking life, Rose," I snapped. "You're mad at him because he likes to spend time with me? Because he accompanies me when I go out with friends even though he doesn't like any of you? Because he didn't want me to drink too much? Because he gets upset when other guys try to hit on me when they can clearly see I'm with someone else? Are these the things you're referring to?" I asked.

"Yes!" she retorted. "The fact that you can point out everything that's wrong with your relationship, but twist it to make it sound like something positive, scares that shit out of me, Edward! I love you, honey, and I just can't stand to see you hurt again. Can't you see that I'm just trying to look out for you? He's controlling, possessive, and jealous. No matter how you try to disguise it those are not good qualities! Nobody knows that better than you, Edward!"

I tugged on my hair trying to distract myself and calm down. I didn't want to fight with Rosalie. She was one of my very best friends. I knew that she was just trying to protect me but she didn't understand. Only time would prove her wrong and until it did I wasn't going to argue over it.

"I have to be to work at 3:00 and I have a few errands to run before that. I'll call you later, okay?" I said, putting the money for my half of the bill on the table. I could tell that Rose was pissed at me for cutting our lunch short and practically walking out on her but I was tired of dealing with the drama.

"Okay," she sighed. "I love you, E."

"I love you too, gorgeous," I replied before walking out the door.

I'd lied about having errands to run, so after I left the restaurant I just went into work earlier than I had to. I was behind on the inventory so I figured I'd catch up on that. Alice, Kate, and Emily were all there and they could handle the showroom themselves. If it got busy, then I'd come out and help but I preferred the solace and quiet of the back today. Around the middle of my shift, Alice came back to get me.

"There's a guy out front asking for you," she announced.

"He's one of my usuals?" I asked. There were several people who frequented the store and always sought my help when they shopped. When I started working here almost two years ago it hadn't taken a long time for me to earn a reputation of having both impeccable customer service and taste.

Alice shook her head. "I've never seen him before but he's gorgeous and I think you should get your ass out there," she told me.

I rolled my eyes but did exactly that. If a customer requested my services, I never turned them down. I knew that things like that mattered when it came time for promotions into the corporate positions. I'd already been promoted to manager of our location but I had no intentions of stopping there. My goal was to get my experience in the industry through this company and then become a buyer for a department store like Neiman Marcus or Bergdorf's.

I walked out into the showroom with my signature crooked grin in place. A smile went a long way when you worked on commission and mine seemed to hold some kind of extra power. Women and men, gay or straight, were putty in my hands when I smiled at them. That smile dropped immediately when I realized it was Jasper Hale that had requested my assistance. I'd liked him when we first met but it was quickly becoming apparent that this man was nothing but trouble.

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><p><strong><em>As a tiny little ending note, I'd like to make it clear that Edward is not effeminate in this story. Think of him as metrosexual gay man.<em>**

**_Alright, lovelies, click review and tell me what you think!_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**SM owns**_

_**Thanks to my speedy fast beta, cocoalvin, for revising. However, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone.**_

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

I woke up in bed alone and smiled, happy that Demetri was already gone. When I smelled food cooking, the smile quickly turned upside down. I thought skipping any kind of conversation at the club had made my intentions clear; I just wanted sex. When I walked into my kitchen and found him making omelets and drinking coffee from my favorite mug, I knew that, that was not the case.

"I hope you're hungry," he smiled, spreading shredded cheddar in the pan. "I make the best omelets!"

I sighed and scratched the back of my neck trying to figure out how I wanted to do this. "I'm fine, Demetri. You can stay and eat if you want, but I have a ton of shit to do today. I need to be getting out of here soon," I told him. His eyes snapped up to look me in the eye. He considered me for a few seconds before dropping his head again.

"You don't want to see me anymore, do you?" he asked with a sad smile.

"I'm sure you're a great guy, Demetri. I'm just not into the relationship thing right now. I'm young, and I want to have fun," I explained.

"Yeah, I get it," Demetri nodded. He emptied the pan in the trash and deposited my mug in the sink. "I'll be out of here in no time," he said, ducking his head as he passed me on his way to the bedroom to retrieve his clothes. He tried to put on a brave face as he left just a few minutes later, but I knew that he was hurt. I could only give him an apologetic smile and well wishes before closing the door after him.

That was the downside of one-night stands. I didn't like hurting people's feelings. That was never what I wanted to do. I knew that I was not the only man in America who went to clubs looking for someone to have some fun with at night and be gone in the morning. It wasn't like I was doing something vile or evil. It was a common fucking practice now days. I'd tried to let Demetri down as gently as possible without giving him any kind of hope. I refused to believe that I'd done anything wrong. I'd done my best not to hurt him, but I still felt like shit.

I shook my head trying to rid myself of that unpleasant feeling and went to get in the shower. It was late in the day already, and I hoped to catch Edward at work. I didn't have his phone number or know where he lived. I wasn't enough of a fool to ask Rose, so my only other option was to go to his job if I wanted to talk to him. I dressed quickly and grabbed my wallet and keys on the way out of the door. It took me a little while to get to the Magnificent Mile, and I prayed like hell that he would be working at this time. When I walked in the store, I didn't see him anywhere, but I decided to ask one of the girls at the counter for him anyway.

"Hi, I'm looking for Edward? Is he working today?"

"Yes, he's in the back doing inventory, but I'll go get him for you," the petite, dark haired girl responded.

"Thank you," I smiled as she disappeared through a doorway behind the register. I wandered over to a display full of sunglasses as I waited for him to come out. I turned to check the doorway just in time to see him emerge. He looked beyond amazing with that crooked grin on his face. I just wanted to lick him.

"Jasper!" Edward exclaimed in surprise. I noticed his smile falter when he first saw me, but it was back in place now. "How can I help you?"

That was a loaded question, my friends. My eyes started at his black boots, traveled all the way up to his reddish brown hair, and back down to his deep green eyes. He was unbelievably beautiful. My mind was filled with ways he could help me, and also of how I could help him. I watched him squirm as his cheeks tinged petal pink under my gaze. I quite enjoyed the fact that I could fluster him so much.

"I need clothes, of course," I finally said. "I want to revamp my wardrobe, and I hear you're the man to see when it comes to clothes."

"That must have been Rose in you ear then," Edward smiled. "Thank her for me, will you? I need all the commission I can get."

"I'll do that," I nodded, even though Rose had no idea I was here. I took a step closer to him, and he automatically stepped back, turning away from me.

"Follow me," he said over his shoulder as he walked toward the back of the store. We stopped at a rack of dark wash jeans, and Edward turned to me with that crooked grin on his face again. His eyes glinted in the light, and my breath caught in my chest. How was someone like him even possible?

"Before we get started, do you want to tell me what you want, or do you trust _me_ to tell _you_?" he asked.

"Oh, I want you to tell me, Edward," I said, grinning salaciously. He blushed again before turning toward the rack.

"What size are you, Jasper?" he asked.

"10 inches."

"What?" he asked in confusion, turning to face me again with a quirked brow.

"Oh, you mean in clothes! I thought you meant something else," I said suggestively.

Edward was a smart boy. He picked up on my meaning, and his eyes locked on my crotch as if he could see through the fabric. I didn't know if he had x-ray vision or not, but I was definitely being honest. I took another step closer to him, and this time he didn't back away. I was making progress.

"Do you want to see?" I asked.

He looked into my eyes for a long time. The expression on his face was so adorable. He was attracted me. That was plain to see. He was conflicted though. The head in his pants was telling him something different from the one on his shoulders. I licked my lips trying to hold the attention of his dick since that was what I wanted.

"You don't want to cheat on that guy, right?" I asked. He nodded his head but seemed unable to actually speak. His loss of brain function meant I was doing my job well. "He can have you, darlin," I said, reaching my hand up to run my fingers through that sex hair of his. It was so fucking soft. It was like silk, and I couldn't resist doing it a second time. I imagined myself clutching his bronze hair in my fist, while I fucked him from behind, yanking his head back to kiss those full lips. "All I want to do is make you cum," I told him bluntly. "Your boy doesn't have to know what happens between us. I just want to make you feel good. Is that so bad?"

I closed the space between us and let him feel my arousal. His mouth fell open as his eyes fluttered shut. A tiny whimper fell from his lips and fuck if it wasn't the sexiest thing I'd ever heard. I wanted to hear and evoke all his little noises. My mind filled with all sorts of images and ideas of what I could and would do to this man. I was achingly hard, and with my body pressed against Edward, I could feel that he was too. I could have sworn victory was within my reach but then...

"We go by European measures here," Edward said breathlessly as he pushed me away and turned back to the rack of pants. "If I'm guessing correct, you'll be a size 48."

I stared at him incredulously for about 10 seconds as he carefully avoided my eyes. I didn't know if I was more peeved that reeling him in was so hard or excited that for the first time in my life this guy was actually presenting me with a challenge. I'd never had to work so hard for a lay before, but I wasn't lazy or afraid to put in some extra effort. I was completely confident in myself, and Edward's minor slip let me know that eventually I would get him.

"Alice!" Edward called, breaking me from my reverie. "Mr. Hale wants to acquire a new wardrobe and has given me free reign. Start his dressing room for me, please?" he said before placing a large pile of clothes in her arms. My brows knit in confusion. When had he picked up all that shit? He chuckled smugly as he clocked my expression. "There are two things I take very seriously, Jasper, clothes..." he smiled, "...and my relationships," he added, looking me in the eye pointedly before turning away.

"Can I offer you some champagne, Mr. Hale?" a girl with beautiful russet skin, asked me. "You'll need it. I'm not sure you know what you've gotten yourself into with Edward," she smiled.

I agreed to the champagne and watched her walk away to fetch it as I considered her words.

Neither she nor I knew then just how right she was.


	4. Chapter 4

_**SM owns.**_

**_Many thanks to my beta, cocoalvin, however, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. _**

**_I told you all that I would warn you before any of the darker scenes. This chapter is one of those scenes. It's not too bad, but it gets heavy. I also wanted to take this time to say that you all are AWESOME! I am so grateful for the love this story has been shown. I get all warm and gooey on inside when I see your reviews! _**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

"Who the fuck was that, and why the hell were you turning him down!" Alice demanded the instant Jasper left the store.

I groaned in frustration, taking my hair in my fist for the millionth time that day. "He's Rosalie's brother, and I'm not interested. I'm going to the back again. Let me know if you guys need me, alright?' I said, not giving her a chance to respond before I fled. In the stockroom, I sat down and dropped my head down on the desk. It was bad enough that Jasper was so beautiful. He was also a shameless and relentless flirt. On top that, he seemed to be focusing all his efforts on me. When he came on to me the first time and I turned him down, I'd thought that would be the end of it. There had to be teems of people waiting for their chance with him. I'd assumed he'd just move on to easy prey when I resisted. Wrong. All throughout the time he'd spent in the store he'd worked an innuendo into every single conversation. He had to have some special talent to come up with so many suggestive remarks.

Worse than his flirting was my reaction to it. Everything about him turned me on:, his lips, eyes, jaw, smile, and hair. His voice was molten chocolate dripping from his tongue and his body was amazing. He'd left the curtain of his dressing room open and stripped down for all, but mostly just for me, to see. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I couldn't stop myself from looking. He was all sinuous muscle, hard planes, smooth skin, and strong man. His earlier mention of the size of his cock had drawn my attention to his black boxer briefs. I couldn't know the exact measurement, but I could definitely tell he was carting around quite the package.

My mind was pulled away from Jasper as my cell vibrated in my pocket. I looked at the I.D. screen and felt a twinge of irritation as I read Royce's name. I'd told him time and time again not to call during my shift, but he always did it anyway. I tried to temper my tone knowing that it was probably just Jasper's harassment that had me on edge rather than my boyfriend wanting to talk to me.

"Hey babe," I answered after a few moments.

"How's your day so far?" he asked.

"Fine," I said, feeling slightly guilty that I was giving him no details. Details like Jasper coming into the store and offering to fuck me.

"Well, the guys and I are meeting at James' for poker. I'll pick you up from work, okay? I told them I'd bring you," he said.

My brows knitted as irritation swelled inside me again. He'd bring me? What the fuck was I, the chips and dip? Despite my agitation, I eagerly agreed to going with him. Not that he'd left me a choice in the matter. I wanted to spend time with him. I needed to remind myself that I was content in his arms,; safe and warm. I forced myself to focus on nothing but work for the remaining hours of my shift. Afterward when I left the store, Royce was outside in his sleek BMW waiting for me. I hopped in the passenger seat and immediately leaned over to kiss his lips. He'd put on too much aftershave, but it wasn't anything unbearable. I was used to it now.

"Do you want to go home and change?" he asked me as he pulled away from the curb.

"No, I'm good," I replied.

Fifteen minutes later, Royce and I were being ushered into James' apartment by Royce's other friend, Alec. He greeted us warmly and pushed a beer into my hand. I thanked him and drank the first one quickly before moving on to a second. Jasper Hale was still on my mind. I wanted to get a little buzz going so that I wouldn't care anymore. Royce smiled happily as he replaced the empty beer in my hand with a new one.

"Thirsty?" he asked. I nodded my head and moved over to the round poker table where James was setting everything up. I was awful at poker, but it wasn't my money I was losing so I played anyway. Alec joined Royce and I at the table and asked me how my day was. We made idle chat while James and Royce chimed in throughout. Alec and James were nice enough guys, and I did enjoy talking to them most of the time. However, when James asked, "Can you believe those left wing bastards?" I knew that I was out of the conversation and reached for my third beer. It wasn't that these issues weren't important to me, because they were. I just didn't agree with some of the things they said and everything else went right over my head. I didn't watch CNN and listen to Rush Limbaugh constantly like they did. I knew that it was my fault that I wasn't informed enough to hold my own in these kinds of conversations, and I felt like an ignorant, mute silently drinking beer and losing all Royce's money playing bad poker. Even though no one made fun of me, my embarrassment reddened my cheeks as they studiously ignored me knowing that I had nothing worthwhile to add.

After my fifth beer, I excused myself from the table and went to use the bathroom. I'd been to James' place enough times to know my way around. I relieved myself and then washed my hands. I glanced at my watch wondering what time Royce and I would finally make our exit. I was bored, drunk, and ready to crash. It wasn't even midnight yet though, so I knew that we'd be here quite a while longer. When I opened the bathroom door to leave, I flinched back not expecting Royce to be on the other side waiting for me.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled, taking my hand. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," I shrugged, smiling as he pulled me in his arms. I was surprised but elated to find that he was hard. If he was horny, we'd probably leave early so that he could fuck me. He ran his hand through my hair and kissed a line along my jaw to my ear.

"I love you so much, Edward," he murmured.

"I love you too," I replied automatically.

"I'm glad to hear that," he whispered as he grabbed my ass with both hands and pulled my hips into his. "Can you feel what you do to me?" he asked. I dropped my head to his shoulder as he rocked his erection into mine.

"Let's go home," I said breathlessly, fisting the back of his shirt in my hands.

"I can't wait."

He shook his head before pushing me down the hall and against a door. I knew that Royce's friends didn't have a problem with us being gay or anything, but I didn't know how well James would take us fucking in his house. I opened my mouth to protest, but Royce silenced me with a fierce kiss that I couldn't help but return. He quickly undid my belt and jeans before plunging his hand inside my boxers and squeezing my cock. I groaned out profanities as all other thought left my mind. My head fell back against the door with a muted thud as he swirled his thumb over the tip gathering the pearl of precum there and stroking down my length.

"Do you know how sexy you are, Edward?" he asked me. I bit my bottom lip to stifle the noises I was making. Royce's hand worked me expertly, and I was struggling to keep quiet. I didn't want the others to hear us. He used his other hand to turn the knob of the door I was leaning against, and we stumbled inside.

"Tell me you love me again," he demanded, and I obeyed.

"I love you."

"Tell me you want to make me happy."

"I want to make you happy," I whimpered as he forced my jeans and boxers down my legs so he could fondle my balls while he pumped my dick.

"Do you know what makes me happy, Edward?" he asked. "I like seeing your body slick with sweat and your face overcome with pleasure. I like seeing your lips red and swollen after being kissed. I like watching your body tense right before you cum. Watching you fuck makes me so happy, Edward."

I nodded my head mindlessly, unable to form words. I was so close to my climax, and I just wanted him to keep going. Abruptly, Royce turned me around with the lightening quick speed. My back and ass were pressed against his suddenly naked chest and arousal. I was perplexed at how he could have gotten undressed so quickly. Even more confusing, was how he could be behind me and also sucking me off. I opened my eyes trying to see what my drunken brain couldn't understand. My eyes locked with Royce's steel grey eyes right in front of me. I flinched from him yet again and looked down to see Alec's dark hair, his smiling hazel eyes looking up at me, and his lips at the base of my cock as his throat constricted around the tip. The intense pleasure overshadowed my shock as my head fell back onto the shoulder behind me. I didn't need to look to know that it was James. Alec pulled back and quickly took me all the way in again. James' slick finger circled my entrance once before he pushed it inside me. I cried out loudly, and James added another finger to stretch and prepare me.

Everything was happening so fast, and I couldn't keep up. What James and Alec were doing to me felt so fucking good. My mind was sluggish with pleasure and beer. James' voice at my ear grounded me though.

"Fuck!" he growled. "He _is_ tight, Royce."

I suddenly realized this was all wrong, and while what they were doing to me felt good, I didn't want it. I opened my eyes and saw that Royce had stripped out of all his clothes. He sat in a chair over in the corner watching us as he stroked his cock. He smiled lasciviously at me, but I didn't return it. He must have known what I was going to do, because just as I pushed Alec off my cock, Royce was in front of me again wrapping his arms around me, pinning mine to my sides. I struggled against him but didn't get anywhere. James' arms locked in a vice grip around my waist helping to keep me still.

"Get the fuck off me, Royce!" I yelled.

"Shh! Baby, please calm down! It's alright," he cooed. "You said you wanted to make me happy. Do this for me. I want to watch you with them. They'll take care of you and make you feel good. You're so good in bed, baby. _Show them_ how good you are," he implored. "I love you, Edward and if you loved me too, you would do this."

I shook my head rapidly in response. This had to be some kind of fucked up nightmare. James tightened one arm around my waist while the other hand returned to my ass. He pushed three fingers inside me as Alec appeared behind Royce. I watched him kiss Royce's neck as he kept his eyes on me. I grimaced in disgust as Alec's hand grabbed my thigh to hitch at Royce's waist. Royce pushed his erection into my quickly deflating cock trying to bring it back to life. I was too repulsed to be aroused anymore though.

Suddenly another sensation took precedence in my mind; there was a roiling in my stomach. I was revolted by the situation I was in. I hadn't eaten since those few bites I took at lunch before walking away from Rose, and I'd drank too much beer, too fast. Just as Royce had sensed me about to fight against them, he sensed my nausea as well. He tried to move away, but Alec was still pressed against his back. I ended up vomiting all over his chest and my shirt. Everyone backed away from me at once. My stomach churned as more threatened to come up, but I forced myself to ignore it. Instead, I quickly pulled up my pants that were gratefully still pooled around my ankles and rushed out of the bedroom.

Royce and the others were hot on my heels as I ran toward the front door. When Royce grabbed my arm, I spun around and punched him in the balls, instantly dropping him to the floor. He curled into the fetal position, cupping himself as he gasped for breath. I looked at James and Alec daring them to approach me too, but they wisely kept away, fearing Royce's fate. I left the house and quickly hailed a cab. I removed my foul smelling and ruined shirt, leaving it in front of James' house for them to deal with. I slid into the cab with only my thin undershirt on and gave the driver my address.

As he merged into traffic, I buried both my hands in my hair and tugged harshly at the roots. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths to quell the rage inside me. I found that I wasn't surprised by what had happened at all. I wasn't angry with James, Alec, or even Royce. I was only furious with myself. How many times had Rose and Esme warned me against Royce? How many times did I see his true colors for myself and ignore them? I was stupid and so fucking desperate to be with him. Not once in my life had I been in a happy relationship. I dropped all my standards just to be with anyone who might potentially love me. For the millionth time, I'd fucked myself over. I wanted to literally kick my own ass for playing the fool once again.

When I finally got to my apartment, I stripped out of my clothes and immediately got in the shower. I could smell all of them on me, and my skin felt grimy and gross. I practically scrubbed off a layer of skin before I deemed myself clean. I pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs and crawled into bed. I set my alarm clock early enough to call off of work the next day and buried myself under my sheets. I was more tired than even I could comprehend, and fell asleep the instant my head touched the pillow.

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><p><em><strong>Alright lovelies, click review and tell me what an asshole Royce is!<strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thank you to cocoalvin who beta'd this chapter although any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone._**

**_Well I've read all the reviews and it appears that you all think Royce should be, as my Gram would say, shot with shit and killed for stinking! LOL gotta love my Gram...Anyhoo you all are effing awesome! Your reviews were hilarious!_**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

After I called in to work, to inform them I was sick and needed the day off, I went right back to sleep. It was Friday, and since I had the weekend off, my plan was to stay in bed the whole time, get myself together, and then start the new week with a clear head and rejuvenated spirit. That plan crashed and burned to hell. I couldn't sleep because my phone kept ringing. Royce called me, literally, non-stop. I eventually just turned my phone off. I was able to sleep for another twenty minutes after that, until there was incessant banging at my door.

I'd thought junk-punching Royce would have kept him away from me. I was clearly and sadly mistaken. Since I'd left James' place the night before, all my rage had been focused on myself. It was taking a new direction now. I was still angry with myself, but I couldn't believe he had the audacity to come to my home. I couldn't understand why he would think I would ever want to see him again. I jumped out of bed and went to open the door. Royce rushed forward trying to pull me into his arms, but I pushed him back. I wasn't drunk this time, and I was way faster and stronger than him now.

"If you touch me, I swear I will beat you unconscious," I told him calmly, while looking him in the eye to let him know I was in no way exaggerating.

"Okay, I'm sorry," he said, putting his hands up in surrender. "Edward, will you just _please_ let me explain? I don't want to lose you," he continued.

"There is no explanation that could make what happened last night okay. You took me there so that we could have some kind of fucked up voyeuristic orgy. And you know what? That's okay! If that shit floats your boat, who am I to judge you? The reason I'm mad is because you didn't discuss it with me! You just thought I would go along with it because that's what _you _wanted!" I yelled. "You waited until I was drunk, got me all aroused, and then passed me off to them! On top of it all, when you saw that I didn't want to do that, you held me down and tried to guilt me into it! You said that, if I loved you, I would have let them fuck me, but if _you_ loved _me_, you wouldn't have tried to make me do something I didn't want to! You wouldn't have tricked me! You would have respected me enough to at least tell me what you had planned before you let your friends do that shit to me!"

"I'm sorry, Edward! I was wrong! I get it now, but let me make it up to you! I'll do anything," he begged.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying not to lose my temper. Just his very presence was driving me mad. I just wanted him to go away and never come back.

"We're done, Royce. Have a nice life," I said, before slamming the door in his face and dead bolting the lock. I was glad that I'd never bothered to give Royce a key, like he'd given me one to his place. He continued to bang at the door for who knows how long. I just went back to bed and ignored him. He could knock until his knuckles bled for all I cared. By the time he left, I had a pounding headache and was more tired than I'd been the night before. I got out of bed to go take a couple of Valium, hoping they would help me sleep the rest of the day away. Right after I took the pills though, knocking started at my door again. For a split second, I was homicidal in my fury.

"Edward, it's Esme," she said, her timid voice barely coming through the door. "Royce is gone now. Will you please let me in? I just need to know you're okay."

I relaxed and rushed to open the door for her. I couldn't help but smile as I took in her small frame as she smiled sadly. There was a gallon of double fudge brownie ice cream cradled in her arm and two spoons in her other hand.

"We don't have to talk about anything. You two were pretty loud. I think everyone in the building knows what happened," she told me. "I figured I'd come over and offer to help you eat your feelings, though."

I nodded my head as my cheeks reddened in embarrassment. I didn't want everyone knowing what had happened. I'd never be able to look my neighbors in the eye again. I sighed heavily and waved her inside. Esme was the first person I'd met after moving to Chicago. She lived down and across the hall from me. When I'd moved into the building, she'd welcomed me with a basket of muffins. It was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen, and it soon became apparent that Esme was the sweetest person I'd ever meet as well. At 26, she was just two years older than me, and we'd quickly become friends after running into each in the hall and elevator all the time.

"Well, I planned on sleeping all day, but I think we can polish off that ice cream before I conk out," I said.

She smiled and led the way to my bedroom. She kicked off her shoes and made herself comfortable in my bed. I crawled in beside her and turned on the TV. A rerun of Entourage was on Spike, and I settled on that before tucking into the ice cream Esme had already cracked open.

"For what it's worth, I'm very sorry he did that to you. Do you think we should call the police?" she asked

"No, It wasn't that serious. I just want to move on," I sighed.

"Not that serious?" she yelled. "Edward they technically r-," she began, but I abruptly cut her off. I didn't want to hear or think about the word I knew that she was going to say. It made me sick to my stomach, and I knew that throwing up would only further remind me of what happened the night before.

"Hey, Esme, remember when you said we didn't have to talk about anything?"

She ducked her head and nodded sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm just ready to close the Royce chapter in my life and move on to someone else."

The silence that followed was tense. I knew that Esme had something else to say. I was a little afraid of what that could be, to tell you the truth. I hoped she'd just let whatever it was go, but of course, she didn't.

"It's okay to be single, Edward," Esme said softly, turning so that she could face me more. "It's possible to be single and happy. I've been single a long time and I'm happy as hell!" she laughed.

"You've got to be pretty horny though," I replied.

"Nope! I'm well on my way to developing carpal tunnel, and I'm pretty sure I own some shares of Adam and Eve by now, though."

There was a beat of silence before we both burst into laughter. It felt good to laugh. I was glad that this whole thing with Royce hadn't thrown me into a depression like some of my previous break ups. I didn't know if I was maturing or becoming more and more impervious to pain. Either way, it was a good thing.

"I'm serious though, E," she said, after our giggles died down. "Maybe you should spend some time just being happy with yourself."

I sighed heavily and worried my hair with my hand. "I don't want to be happy by myself. I could have stayed in Forks if that was the case. I had my family and friends there, but I gave them up so that I could find a man who I loved and would love me back. I've been here for two years and dated seven guys. None of those relationships lasted more than five months. I could have stayed in the closet in Forks, and I would have been just as unhappy and alone there as I am here. I need to know that my decision was the right one," I told her.

Before I knew it, Esme had her arms around me with my head tucked into the crook of her shoulder. She was warm, and her skin smelled of vanilla and caramel. I was comforted just as I always was whenever she held me.

"You did make the right decision. You don't find love just because you're looking for it. You need to be patient, and even if it never finds you, that doesn't mean you should have stayed in Forks. No one there accepted or loved you. Not the real you. Yes, you could have stayed in the closet to be with your family, but you would have always been a stranger to them. You would have been hiding this huge part of yourself, just keep them comfortable in their bigoted ways. We'd never ask or want you to do that. We accept and want the real you. Maybe you don't have the fairy tale happily ever after love, but you have me, Rose, Emmett, and many others. We're your family now because you chose us, and we love your queer ass to pieces," she said, and I could hear the smile on her lips before she kissed my forehead.

"I love you too, Esme," I replied.

Drowsiness was starting to settle in, and I was so ready for sleep to come. I pulled away and got comfortable on my side facing Esme.

"Be my teddy bear?" I asked. She smiled and nodded her head.

"Of course."

She lay down in front of me, and I gathered her into my arms. I cuddled and spooned with Esme all the time. She was small, soft, and comforting just like a teddy bear. Once we were all settled and comfortable, I kissed the back of her head and nestled my face in her light brown tresses.

"Thank you, Esme, for everything," I murmured.

She squeezed my hand that was at her waist. "You're welcome, Edward."

After a three-hour long nap with Esme, I woke up feeling a hell of a lot better. I didn't want to spend another moment thinking about Royce. I didn't want to think about the past and all the pain I'd endured. I didn't want to think at all. I scrapped my plan of wallowing for two days and decided to call Rose so that we could go out and just have a good time. I told her what happened between Royce and I over the phone, and she hung up on me. She arrived at my apartment an hour later, dolled up in shreds of fabric that were masquerading as a black dress and silver heels, so high, they put her on eye level with me.

"You are a fucking idiot, Edward Cullen! I _told_ you he was a piece of shit, but that doesn't mean it was your fault! If you ever think that again, I will flush your head down the toilet!" she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug that expelled every last bit of air from my lungs.

"Now, I understand that you just want to move on, Edward, but we can't let that shit bag get away scot free. I have some Clorox in my trunk. We're going to pour it in the gas tank of that fancy little BMW Royce has and then go get wasted. Deal?" she said after letting me go.

I glanced back at Esme and quirked my brow. She smiled wickedly and nodded her head. "Give us a minute to get dressed, and then we can go," I said, turning back to Rose.

"Alright then!" she exclaimed excitedly, and pushed me in the direction of my bedroom. Two hours later, Royce's car was ruined, and I was on my third shot of Jose, and dancing in the middle of two incredibly hot guys.

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><p><em><strong>Alright lovelies, I'm sure you all think that Royce should have suffered more for what he did, but don't worry. We won't see him again for a while but he will indeed return...<strong>_

_**Also I have a rec for you this week! My friend kgq has started a new E/J slash fic called "Best Part Of Me Was Always You" Go on over and check it out!**_

_**_**http:/www . fanfiction . net/s/6877145/1/Best_Part_Of_Me_Was_Always_You**_  
><strong>_


	6. Chapter 6

_**SM owns.**_

_**Many thanks go out to cocoalvin who beta**__**'d this chapter, although any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. **_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper<strong>_

I tossed my bottle of water in the trash and leaned against the counter across from Rose. I was at her and Emmett's place for our weekly tradition of Sunday dinner. I'd finished up playing the XBOX and came in the kitchen, just to get a drink. I hadn't seen Edward in over a week though, and now I wanted to pump her for a little information on him. She was focused on cooking, and I hoped her preoccupation would keep her from thinking too much into my questions.

"How's your friend, Edward, doing?" I asked, trying to start out slow. Rose wasn't like me, though. She didn't deal with the bullshit. She liked getting straight to the point. Today was no different. She whirled around to face me with the knife she'd been using to slice tomatoes in her hand and pointed it at me. Hellfire danced in her eyes, and her voice was sweet as the devil's, as she replied.

"He's perfectly fine, Jasper, and he'll stay that way, because you're going to keep away from him. If I find out otherwise, you're going to be eating your balls for dinner the following Sunday," she said.

She held my gaze for a few moments making sure that I was sufficiently terrified. It wasn't until I was on the verge of soiling myself that she turned and continued cooking. I let out a shaky breath and calmed myself down before leaving the kitchen. I rejoined Emmett on the couch and looked at him with newfound sympathy.

"Emmett, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, what's up man," he replied, not taking his eyes off the game he'd continued to play after I'd went into the kitchen.

"What demon possessed you when you asked Rose to marry you?"

Because I'd known Emmett for years, I wasn't startled by the thunderous laughter that boomed from him. I laughed along with him and shook my head.

"Love, man," Emmett eventually replied. "She's scary as hell, but I love her too much to ever want anyone else."

That was the saddest shit I'd ever heard, but I knew that he was dead serious. Rose and Emmett had gotten married straight out of high school. Our parents had shit a brick thinking that Rose was knocked up when she and Emmett announced their engagement. When they realized she wasn't in the family way and was just marrying Emmett out of love, they got even angrier. They thought Rose and Emmett were too young to make such a huge commitment and tried to convince Rose that she should wait until she was older and knew more about what she wanted out of life. Rose turned a deaf ear to it all, though. She married Emmett at city hall, right before their freshmen year at Northwestern, and now almost seven years later they seemed to be in a perpetual honeymooners stage.

I was happy for them, but I couldn't see myself settling down until I was at least thirty-five years old. Right now, I just wanted to sow my wild oats. That train of thought led me back to Edward. Rose had said I'd be eating my own balls if she ever found out that I was pursuing Edward. I was very fond of my boys, but they were very fond of Edward. My sack and I decided that we could be sneaky motherfuckers and have our cake and eat it too. We'd pursue Edward and keep Rose from finding out.

Rose was in the kitchen cooking, Emmett was ensnared by Call of Duty, and Rose's iPhone was on the end table beside me. I glanced at Emmett and then at the kitchen doorway. When I was sure the coast was clear, I grabbed her phone, found Edward's number, and sent him a text from Rose's number.

_**Jasper and Emmett are driving me fucking crazy! Up for a few drinks later on tonight? -R**_

I smiled inwardly, and felt a little sad that I didn't have a mustache to twiddle. Edward replied back just a few moments later.

_**Lol! When have you ever known me to turn down alcohol? What time? -E**_

I got a little giddy knowing that I'd be seeing him tonight. I glanced at the clock and quickly decided on a time.

_**11pm good for you? -R**_

_**Sure. Feel like Monk's tonight? -E**_

I fucking loved Monk's. It was a little pub that had a great selection of beer. The bar food was pretty good too, and I went there when I needed to get out and take a break from my writing. It was a dimly lit place, and even though it could get quite loud in there, the two-seater booths were perfect for intimate conversation.

_**See you there! -R**_

I deleted the texts, saved Edward's number into my phone, and placed Rose's back on the table. I looked at Emmett, and it seemed that he was none the wiser to my little scheme. From that point on, the time dragged. I knew that it was because I was really anxious to go see Edward, but I was still impatient and antsy the whole night. Rose seemed a little smug, too. I think she thought my mood was due to her threat in the kitchen. Sure, I was scared that she would find out and try to kill me, but at the moment, it seemed worth the risk.

When 11:00pm finally rolled around, I made my way over to Monk's. I didn't go in though. I hung out about a half a block away and across the street, trying to make sure Edward went in before me. I was being wildly creepy and verging on stalkerish, but I didn't want to go in before him. If he saw that it was me meeting him instead of Rose, he might leave before I even got a chance to talk to him.

Edward arrived about fifteen minutes late. I waited about two more minutes before getting out of my car and walking over to the bar. Once inside, I scanned the room searching for him and found him sitting at a booth in the back corner. He couldn't have chosen a more perfect spot. I made my way over and slid into the seat across from him. He looked up at me first in surprise, then confusion, and finally amused exasperation.

"Why am I even surprised?" he chuckled, shaking his head at me. He took a long sip of his beer but kept his eyes on me the whole time. It was amazing the way his eyes shone in even the dimmest light. They unnerved me, but simultaneously ignited something deep inside me. Whenever I was around him, I felt as if I was at my most primal. I just wanted to take him.

I couldn't help but notice there was something different about him tonight. He looked as gorgeous as always; impeccably dressed with sexed up hair. I could detect a hint of that beautiful blush that always pinked his cheeks, and every so often he worried his hair nervously. Everything about him was the same, but something had definitely changed.

"You're different tonight," I told him, after I was unable to figure out what it was.

"Different how?" he asked, quirking a brow.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Just something I noticed but can't verbalize."

"Is that a good thing?"

"Oh Edward, everything about you is good."

He chuckled, shaking his head again. He looked down at the table and twirled the cap to his bottle around the tip of his finger.

"Where's your boyfriend?" I asked.

"You mean the one I dumped last week?"

I couldn't see my face, of course, but I knew without a doubt that I was grinning like the Cheshire cat. The only thing that had been holding Edward back was the fuckhole that was Royce. He was out of the picture, and now I was in it.

"Is that right?" I asked.

Edward nodded his head and sipped from his beer. I felt my smile fade slightly as I recognized the look in his eyes. There was a sadness there that couldn't be ignored. It was the kind that took root in the pit of your stomach, grew to enclose around your heart, and splintered into your mind, leaving little room for much else. There was a sharp pang of something deep in my own stomach in response to that expression on his face. Reluctance? Regret? Guilt?

I watched as he finished his beer, and my first instinct told me to just leave. This didn't seem right anymore. My second instinct told me that I was horny, and only Edward Cullen could sate me. My mind wrestled over whether I should pay for the beer he'd just had or offer to buy him a second. Before I could make a decision, Edward was speaking again.

"No innuendo for me today?" he asked.

I looked down into my lap and shook my head. I wanted to ask him if he was all right. I wanted to see him flustered and blushing. I didn't want to see him sad and heartbroken. I suddenly hated Royce even more than I did before. Edward was a good guy. A great guy, actually. I wondered what Royce had done to fuck up his chance with a guy like Edward, who was completely loyal to him and had probably loved Royce with his whole heart.

I'd never wanted to have a real conversation with any of my conquests until now. I didn't know how it was supposed to work or what was even appropriate to say. As I opened my mouth to talk, regardless of still being unsure of what I should say, Edward was speaking again.

"Well, no worries, Hale, because even though I'm not with Royce anymore, you're still not getting anywhere near my ass."

He rose from the booth, and gave me a condescending pat on the head as he passed me on the way to the door. I was in too much shock to do anything more than watch him leave, with a slack jaw.

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><p><em><strong>Well there you have it! Now tell me what you think!<strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

_**SM owns. **_

**_Many thanks go out to beta extraordinaire, cocoalvin, for revising this chapter. Although she did a splendid job, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. _**

_**For all of you waiting for the revised versions of chapter 5 and 6, they are now up! **_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

I doubled over laughing as soon as I was outside the bar. I couldn't believe that Jasper had tricked me. Well, actually I could. What I couldn't believe was that he was so intent on fucking me. If he was the man-whore that Rosalie made him out to be, he should have moved on to easier pickings a long time ago. I hadn't seen or heard from him in over a week, and then all of sudden he plans a grand scheme to meet me at a bar? It was ludicrous, and I was done with throwing myself at every man that showed the slightest bit of interest in me. The look on Jasper's face had been priceless when I walked out on him. Probably, just as priceless as mine when he'd appeared in front of me practically out of thin air. I was in the parking lot of Monk's, about to get in my car. Except, he was leaning against the door.

"Jasper!" I exclaimed in pure shock.

"What the hell!" he exclaimed right back. "You can't just walk out on a person like that! You agreed to having a drink with me!"

It was a lame argument, and we both knew it. He just wanted more time to try and seduce me. I decided to give him a break and not call him on his shit though.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I agreed to having a drink with Rose. You are not Rose, and I've already had my drink. You can go back and have yours alone," I told him.

I couldn't help but smile as his fist clenched at his side. He sighed heavily and shook his head in frustration. Once again, I was wrong in thinking he'd just walk away.

"Come on, Edward. I've seen the way you look at me. I know that you want me. What are you afraid of?" he asked, closing the space between us.

A part of me knew that he was just taunting me. He was just grasping around until he found which buttons were the right ones to push. I hadn't even known implicating me as a coward was one of my buttons until he said it, and I was furious beyond measure. I pushed him away from me a lot harder than was necessary. His back slammed against my car making a loud thud echo in the empty lot.

"I'm not scared of anything," I growled. He didn't seem fazed at all by my anger, which of course just made me angrier. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and spun us around until it was me with my back against the car. The length of his body pressed against mine, and it did _not_ feel hot and fantastic. He smelled so fucking good though. All musky man, everglades, and rain. Underneath it all though was something sweet like warm sugar and cinnamon. It filled me with the urge to taste him and it was only because I was breathing so heavily that I noticed his scent, just in case anyone was thinking otherwise.

"Then why do you keep denying yourself? Think about all the things we could do together. All the places my tongue and fingers would explore on your body. It would be a night dedicated solely to you and your pleasure. Why would you want to turn that down?"

There were so many reasons why I wanted to turn him down, but would you believe I couldn't even think of one? Jasper was a bad guy. Of that, I was absolutely certain, but he smelled so good. His body was strong, hard, and warm as he pressed against me. I liked the way he felt, and I wanted to feel more. I wanted to touch his skin, hair, and feel his lips on mine. I wanted everything Jasper wanted with me, but I also wanted more. I wasn't cut from his same cloth. If I slept with him, he would walk away feeling proud. I would walk away feeling ashamed.

I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, and I wanted to say yes. I really did. I couldn't though. I opened my mouth to turn him down again, but he abruptly pulled his body away from mine and fisted both his hands in his hair.

"Okay, let's not think about that for a while. You just broke up with your boyfriend. Can we just go back inside? I'll buy you another drink, and we can just talk. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," I responded instantly.

I don't know what caused his sudden change of heart, but I didn't care either. I wanted him to prove me wrong. I wanted him to make me see that I'd judged him too quickly. He sighed in relief at my reply and grabbed my hand. He towed me back into the bar where we resumed residence at the table we were at before I'd walked out. A waitress came to the table, and Jasper ordered two Coronas with lime. We sat at the table quietly waiting her return. In the past, it had always been me that was nervous. Now, it seemed our roles had reversed. He was nervous, and I was perfectly calm, if not excited.

I had to stifle a snicker as I watched him wring his hands as his eyes darted around landing on everything but me. When the waitress returned with our beers, Jasper took a long swig from his. He glanced at me and then quickly back down at the table.

"You know this isn't a date or anything, right?" he asked. "This is just us having a drink."

"Why are you so nervous then?" I asked, tilting my head.

His eyes finally locked with mine as his mouth opened in shock. He quickly closed it again and cleared his throat before taking another pull from his beer.

"I'm not nervous," he finally replied. "I just wanted to make sure that we were on the same page."

"We are."

"Good."

I grabbed my beer and took a sip before deciding to change the subject. I wanted to talk to Jasper and get to know him. I needed him to be his usual cocky self for that to happen though. Not this nerve wracked person before me now.

"So Rose tells me you write porn," I said.

I was elated when he burst into laughter. The sound was deep and rolling, like subdued melodic thunder.

"It's called erotic fiction," he corrected me with smiling eyes.

"Oooh!" I said, nodding my head. "So it's glorified porn?"

He laughed again and shrugged his shoulders. "Okay, I'll give you that one," he conceded.

"Is that always what you wanted to do?" I asked.

"Sort of," he answered. "I always wanted to be a writer. When I was younger, I thought I wanted to write young adult novels, but then as I got older that genre didn't appeal to me so much anymore. When I was in college, I got really into the Alex Cross series and wanted to be the next James Patterson. I only majored in English, and it would have taken a lot of research for me to write that type of book realistically. I'm pretty lazy though, so I moved on from that pretty quickly. Then one day I was going to buy some new porn-don't judge me," he said, pointing a warning finger at me. I chuckled and raised my hands in surrender. Satisfied that I wasn't secretly labeling him as a pervert, he continued, "So, I'm in the store, and I see that there's this whole section of books. I'm flipping through some of them, and a lot of them were just _awful_. I instantly decided that I could and would do a better job," he told me.

"Classy," I remarked.

"You're judging," he said with mock anger.

"I'm sorry," I replied. "I'll buy the next round to make it up to you."

He smirked at me, and I realized that, by allowing another round of beers, I had inadvertently given him more of my time. I felt my cheeks redden, but I was determined not to mess up the easy conversation we were having. I liked talking to him and wanted to hear him laugh again.

"So what happened between you and Royce," he said. My eyes widened in shock as hot searing pain lanced through me. I doused it with the last of my beer and signaled for the waitress to bring us two more.

"I just didn't want to be with him anymore," I said, hoping my voice didn't sound as broken to him as it did to me. I chanced a look at him and saw the pity I'd hoped I wouldn't in his eyes. He must have realized I didn't want to talk about it though because he quickly moved on to another subject.

"What brought you to Chicago?" he asked. "Rose told me you're from Washington state."

This guy sure could pick 'em. He moved on from one bad topic to another. I let out a bitter laugh and ran my fingers through my hair. My mind raced as I tried to come up with a non-sob answer. I didn't want to see my father look at me with disgust in his eyes anymore? I was tired of hearing my mom cry and tell me that I was just going through a phase? I couldn't deal with people treating like I had a fucking disease anymore? Those were all light and easy responses, right?

"Don't answer that!" Jasper exclaimed, breaking me from my thoughts. "I don't want to turn this into something ugly."

"Me either," I said, shaking my head and finishing off my beer. Jasper had slammed his first beer, but he was taking his time with his second. I ordered another beer for myself anyway though.

"Okay, tell me this," he said. "What's your favorite color?"

I nearly choked on my beer as I laughed at his elementary question. "Seriously?" I asked.

He chuckled but nodded his head. "Yeah. Lately I just can't seem to choose between emerald green and bronze," he told me. I sighed in exasperation and shook my head at him.

"Too cheesy?"

"Way to cheesy! So cheesy, in fact, that I've decided to take it as insult!" I exclaimed, slamming my fist on the table. Jasper laughed again, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him. It was ridiculous how much I loved that sound already.

"Okay, okay, okay," he said as his laughter died down. "My favorite color is actually that color in the sky just after sunset, when it's that pinkish, purplish, bluish color. It always calms me when I see it, especially after a long day. Even though it's technically only twilight and not the end of the day, it makes me feel as if it's all over and I can finally relax," he told me. "So now what's yours?"

"Well shit! Now, I don't want to tell you!" I exclaimed.

"What? Why?" he asked in amused confusion.

"Because you gave that really deep answer that totally makes up for the fact that the question was silly!" I said. "Now, my answer will just seem really lame and bland."

"Just tell me, Edward."

"Black."

We stared at each other for a few seconds before he finally broke the silence. "That _was _bland. I'm bored to tears over here! Can't you even be a teensy bit more creative than that?"

"Oh, fuck you!" I retorted playfully. "It was a dumb question to begin with!"

The banter between Jasper and I kept on into the early morning hours. I was glad that I'd decided to stay and talk with him. He kept slipping in suggestive remarks and tossing flirty looks my way. They didn't bother me though. After a few more beers, they actually started to go both ways. The drunk me was clearly uninhibited and just as saucy as Jasper. By the time we decided to head home though, I was unsteady on my feet, and Jasper refused to let me drive myself home. He'd stopped himself at his second beer while I'd just kept going. I was a sloppy and slurring mess when he poured me into his back seat. All I could remember from the ride was staring at the starry night sky through the back windshield as he drove. When the car finally stopped, I was sleepy and seeing in double.

"This is not my apartment, Mr. Hale," I slurred, falling into his chest his as he helped me out of his car.

"I know," he responded. "This is my house."

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	8. Chapter 8

_**SM owns.**_

_****_Many thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin, for revising this chapter. Although, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone._**  
><strong>_

**_A special thanks goes out to JasperLuver48 who recc'd my little story on her blog, The Major's Army. It's dedicated to stories starring the blonde god also known as Jasper! If you're in the market for new Jasper fics to read, head over to themajorsarmy . blogspot . com and check it out!_**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

I internally cringed every time Edward ordered another beer. I'd wanted to seal the deal with him that night, but I'd also wanted him sober and fully conscious. With each beer he finished, I knew that my plans were getting further and further away from me. When he'd started singing Rupert Holmes, I conceded defeat. Several times throughout the night I'd wanted to suggest that he slow down, but I didn't. I didn't mean to be presumptuous, but with the last name Cullen and that reddish hair, I figured that Edward had some sort of Irish lineage. I'd learned the hard way back in college, when I was bartender, not to get between an Irishmen and his lager. Instead, I dutifully supported Edward out of the bar, when his jellied legs wouldn't, and dumped him in my backseat because there was no way he could drive himself.

I asked him his address, and his honest reply was, "123 Sesame Street." I could have tried harder to find out where he lived, but I didn't do that either. I had enough morals not to take advantage of Edward in his drunken state. I wasn't, however, object to hoping that Edward would want to help me start my day off right the next morning, if you know what I mean.

I drove him to my house, and once I'd gotten him back out of the car, he'd looked at my house in confusion.

"Thish isss not my apartment, Mishter Hale," he slurred as his body sagged into mine.

"I know," I replied. "This is my house."

"Thish issa bad idea," he sighed solemnly, leading the way up the steps to my door.

I followed behind him and unlocked the door. He stumbled inside, and I had to quickly grab his arm before he crashed into the table in my foyer and broke the expensive ass vase on top of it. I herded him up the stairs and, because I didn't want to torture myself all night, into the guest room. He sprawled out on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I stood leaning against the doorjamb and just took in the sight of that beautiful man, in my home, on a bed in the dark, and bathed in moonlight. His pale skin and unique hair seemed to glow and transformed his beauty. In the light of day, he was masculine, dapper, and heartbreakingly sexy. In the light of the moon, he was ethereal, angelic, and otherworldly. For a moment, I considered crawling into bed with him to just simply be near him and behold his beauty up close.

In the end, I decided against it. I went over to the bed and relieved his prone form of its shoes. It was an arduous task, but I eventually got him out of his sweater and jeans as well, leaving him in an undershirt and a pair of black boxer briefs.

I couldn't help but notice the bulge there. He wasn't even hard, and his cock looked huge. My eyes moved to his strong thighs and sculpted calves. My mind automatically started playing out scenes where Edward sat astride me as I gripped those taunt thighs. I envisioned his huge cock bouncing while he rode mine. I prayed like hell that fantasy would come true someday. Until then, I knew I had to get the fuck out of his room. I was sporting a semi, and if it progressed any further, Edward would cease to be in a safe environment with me around.

I pulled the covers over him and decided that running my fingers through his hair was okay. Those wayward strands atop his head were so fucking silky and thick. I wanted to do it again, but he suddenly frowned in his sleep, making me pause.

"Don't touch my cookie, you bastard," he grumbled before rolling away from me and onto his stomach.

I fell to my knees and bit down on my fist to keep my laughter from waking him. I couldn't wait until the morning when I could make fun of him. When I'd finally gotten myself under control, I stood and turned to leave the room. I didn't know if he'd have a hangover in the morning or not, but I decided it was better safe than sorry. I went down to the kitchen, got a bottle of water, and some aspirin for him. I placed it on the nightstand by his bed and left his room.

Inside my own room, I took a long cold shower and crawled into bed. I hoped for sleep to find me quickly, but it didn't. Knowing that Edward was just down the hall from me made me restless and horny. My mind went rampant with fantasies that I hoped would soon become reality. Before long, my dick had tented my boxers and was throbbing with need. I'd tried to fight it all night, but now, I was done. I yanked my shorts down and licked my palm twice before taking my member in my grip. I bit my lip to stifle any sounds that I made.

I closed my eyes and instantly images of my hands in Edward's hair, his hand wrapped around my weeping cock, his pretty red lips wet and swollen from kissing, and those damn eyes. Those amazing glittering green orbs would stare intensely at me as he coaxed my body to the edge. I imagined that it was his hand, hot and strong, stroking me furiously then painfully slow, teasing me, and swirling his thumb over the tip. I moaned loudly as my lip fell from between my teeth, and my hips began moving of their accord, thrusting into my fist. I brought my other hand up to tweak my nipple, pretending my pinching fingers were Edward's teeth nipping at me.

I quickened the pace of my hand, needing desperately to find my release. My cock became impossibly harder as the muscles in my belly began to coil. At that point, I wasn't even attempting to keep quiet. Part of me wished that Edward would wake up and come join me. I'd do anything to feel the heat of his body against me. I wanted to smell his musky yet sweet scent permeating the room. I opened my eyes and glanced down at my cock. The head was purple and ready to burst, glistening in the pale moonlight with precum. I slid my hand down my chest and the ripples in my stomach to palm and tug at my balls between my legs.

"Fuck!" I growled out loud as my orgasm racked through me. Waves of pleasure crashed over me one after the other as long hot spurts of cum landed on my chest and stomach. I pumped my dick slowly riding out my climax as long as I could. My chest heaved with the loss of breath as my heart pounded. My limbs felt weak and tired, but somehow, I still wasn't sated. I was actually more frustrated than I was before I'd jerked off. I needed Edward and nothing else would do.

After a few minutes rest, I threw myself off the bed and returned to the bathroom for another quick shower. Afterward, I pulled on a pair of sweat pants and paced the floor of my bedroom. I was suddenly angry that I couldn't get Edward off my mind. This wasn't me. This wasn't the way I operated. I didn't obsess over people this way. He'd turned me down, and that should have been the end of it. But it wasn't. He was in my house, right down the hall from me, and here I was: horny, frustrated, and practically going mad!

I angrily pushed my blond hair out of my eyes and scrubbed my hands over my face. I closed my eyes and counted to ten while taking deep breaths. I told myself to calm the fuck down and just go to sleep. I got back into bed, and of course, sleep avoided me like the plague. After an hour of tossing, turning, and thinking of Edward, I pulled myself out of bed again. I needed to do something. I refused to think of him all night. I decided to get some writing done. I had a new book in the works, and I'd wanted to include my escapades with Edward. The only problem with that was that there hadn't been any escapades with fucking Edward!

I considered just writing my fantasies about him, but something about that idea made me feel uneasy. For some reason, I felt possessive of those fantasies. I wanted to keep them to myself until I found out if the reality lived up to the epic expectations that I had. I stared at my laptop screen for a few seconds before groaning in frustration and banging my head repeatedly against the keyboard.

"Fuck it," I said, throwing my hands up in surrender. I closed my laptop and pushed it to the corner of my desk. I reached into my drawer and pulled out my journal and a pen. It was clear that Edward had taken up permanent residence in my head tonight. I wasn't going to share my fantasies, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to write them. I put on some music and just started writing. I wrote about the first moment I laid eyes on Edward, the first time I knew I wanted to fuck him, and the first moment I knew that I _needed_ to fuck him. I wrote about every single thing I could think of that involved Edward in even the slightest way.

By the time I put my pen down, my hand was aching and the ink was running out. I sat back in my chair and glanced at the clock. It was 8:13am. I'd been writing for almost four hours. With the throbbing in my hand, I wasn't at all surprised. I actually felt a little more relaxed now that I'd gotten that shit out of my head though. I left my office and decided to make a little breakfast. I wasn't that much of a cook, but I could make a damn good omelet. I put on a pot of coffee and pulled out the whiskey. I was a hair-of-the-dog type of guy. If Edward woke up with a hangover, an Irish coffee would be just what he needed. If he didn't have a hangover, an Irish coffee would be just what he needed.

I chuckled at my own at my silly sense of humor and shook my head.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a morning person," Edward grumbled, suddenly appearing in the kitchen. I jumped in surprise and nearly knocked the pan off the stove.

"And I didn't take you for a thief in the fucking night! I didn't even hear you come down the stairs. How long have you been in here?" I asked.

"Just now," he said, coming to stand beside me.

I glanced over and quickly looked away again. I was a little disappointed that he was already dressed. I had been looking forward to him walking around my house in his underwear this morning. What I couldn't understand was how he managed to look jaw-dropping gorgeous this early in the morning, wearing yesterday's wrinkled clothes. It was unreal. I turned toward the other counter and began mixing his drink. When I was done, I passed it to him, and he took it eagerly. I watched as he sipped at the drink and felt my cock coming to life as he groaned in satisfaction.

"This is amazing," he said, smiling at me.

I turned back to the omelets, feeling uncharacteristically nervous. I shook my head trying to pull myself together and cleared my throat.

"So do you remember what happened last night?" I asked.

"Mostly," he said, chuckling a little. "I remember you dragging me out of the bar but nothing after that, I gotta admit. I was pretty surprised that I woke up alone," he said, knocking his shoulder into mine.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Of course you did, Edward. I know you think I'm unscrupulous, but even I have to pump the brakes at date rape," I joked.

I glanced over at him when my joke didn't receive the expected laugh. I was shocked at the expression on his face. It was so anguished that pain clenched my own chest. I turned to face him all the way, and in an unconscious move to comfort him, cupped his face in my hand and caressed his cheek with my thumb.

"Edward, you didn't really think I'd try anything with you while you were drunk did you?" I asked, feeling hurt, ashamed, and slightly panicked that that was the image of myself I'd given him. "I swear to you that I didn't, and I wouldn't, Edward."

His green gaze met mine as he bestowed an unconvincing smile upon me. "Of course not. I just have a little headache is all," he said before leaning into my touch. The stumble that had grown over night on his cheeks was prickly yet soft against my palm. The hair was just a shade darker than the hair atop his head. My eyes traveled along his jaw 'til they came across his lips—his full and perfect red lips.

My heart began to race as I realized our proximity. We were so close, and I could feel the heat of his body radiating from him. He must have made use of the guest bathroom because his breath was a mix of coffee and mint as it fanned over my face. I breathed it in greedily before looking into his eyes again. He was staring directly at me, and I didn't need verbal confirmation for what I instinctively knew. I slid my hand from his face to the nape of his neck, wrapped my other arm around his waist to pull him flush against me, and pressed my lips to his.

I was surprised that he wasted no time in kissing me back. I moaned into his mouth as relief and lust coursed through my veins and lapped over my skin. His lips were so soft and supple. They felt amazing, but I needed more. I traced the tip of my tongue across his bottom lip begging for access into his mouth. For the first time since the kiss began, he was hesitant and kept his lips shut. I wasn't having it though. I clutched his hair in my fist roughly, and his lips fell open as he gasped in surprise. My tongue plundered his mouth, and I nearly cried out in bliss as his hips bucked against me. His tongue rose up to fight for dominance over mine. I deepened the kiss but immediately gave my surrender. Edward could do what he wanted with me.

His hands found their way into my hair as he ground his hardened dick against mine again. I was thrilled to see this aggressive side of him and hoped that it was here to stay. Images of him penning me down, riding, and biting me filled my mind. I whimpered impatiently as my control started to slip and then vanished completely. I grabbed at Edward belt unbuckle, but my over-eagerness caused Edward to pull away from me entirely.

"No!" I whined, grabbing for his arm, but he pressed his hands against my chest to stop me.

"I can't, Jasper," he said breathlessly. "I won't," he amended, with more determination as he stared me in the eye.

"Edward, please!" I begged shamelessly. "Please!"

He shook his head and quickly made for the door. "I have to go," he called over his shoulder, and in the blink of the eye was gone. The slam of the front door incited my rage, and I banged my fist on the counter top.

"Damn it!" I roared in anger that was directed at no one but myself. I pulled viciously at the roots of my hair. A habit I'd already picked up from the few times I'd been with Edward. That kiss filled me with hope that I'd get what I wanted, but I was still furious that my impatience ran him away. I took several deep breaths and looked down at my insistent erection. I killed the heat under the cooking omelet and hopped up on the countertop. I freed my dick from the confines of my pants and took myself in hand before rubbing out another lack luster orgasm.

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	9. Chapter 9

_**SM owns.**_

_**Many thanks to my beta, cocoalvin, who beta'd this chapter. Although she did a wonderful job, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone.**_

_**So there's something weird going with the review reply button. I wasn't able to reply to everyone, but I did read and appreciate every single review I got. Thanks to all of you!**_

_**Enjoy...**_

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

I kept bringing my fingers up to touch my lips. They were still tingling from Jasper's kiss. His lips were so soft yet firm. They moved with mine so perfectly. It was almost as if we'd been kissing each other for years. His tongue was warm and sweet in my mouth, and his body was indescribable. I won't even get started on the way his cock felt against mine. It was hands down the best kiss of my life. I'd shared the best kiss with the worst guy. It was a feat only I could manage. The kiss itself was too good to regret, but it could never happen again.

After leaving Jasper's, I caught a cab to go pick up my car from the bar. Instead of going to my own apartment, I headed straight for Esme's. She opened the door still dressed in her pajamas with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands.

"Good morning. I'll take that off your hands, honey," I said, commandeering her cup and kissing her cheek.

"You're lucky I love you, E. That's a perfect cup of java right there," she scowled before going to the kitchen and pouring herself another cup. I took a sip and sighed as heaven rolled over my tongue and down my throat.

"Thank you, Esme. I almost feel bad for taking this from you," I said, taking a seat at her kitchen table.

"Shut up. Are those walk of shame clothes?" she asked, glancing at me over her shoulder.

"Sort of," I grimaced, looking down at my outfit from the day before.

"What does that mean?" she asked suspiciously.

"It means Rose's slutty brother, Jasper, tricked me into meeting him at a bar last night. I got so drunk he had to drive me back to his place. Surprisingly, he let me sleep in the guest room. I thought I would wake up with a cock in my ass, but instead, I woke up to breakfast and an Irish coffee I couldn't really enjoy because it was interrupted by the most amazing kiss in the history of most amazing kisses," I explained.

Esme's eloquent reply was a stare complete with bug eyes and a dropped jaw. I groaned in distress and let my head fall to the table with a thud.

"What. The. Fuck,," she breathed after gathering her wits.

"Exactly," I nodded.

"Are you two together?"

"Not at all."

"But you like him?"

"No. Yes. No. Maybe?"

"You like him. If you didn't, there would be no question."

"Shut up, Esme!"

She giggled in her adorable way and came around to join me at the table. We sat in silence for a while drinking our coffee and thinking about my fucked situation. That was what I was doing at least. I knew Esme was right. I liked Jasper. He was one of the most beautiful men I'd ever seen. He was also funny, smart, successful, and confident beyond measure. On the other hand, he was a slut, and hell bent on making me a notch on his bedpost.

"When did all of this start?" Esme asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I sighed heavily and told her the whole story. I made sure not to leave out a single detail. If anyone could help me deal with all of this, it was Esme. When I finished talking, she nodded her head slowly as if in deep thought. That was one of the things I loved most about her. She didn't say anything that she hadn't thought out thoroughly beforehand.

"You need to talk to him. You need to cut all the witty remarks and tug of war bullshit. Just explain to him that you aren't interested, and if can't accept that, threats and physical violence will solve any other issues," she told me.

"But I am interested! I just don't want things to stop at sex. I'd like to actually be with him."

"You and I both know that's not going to happen, Edward. Why waste your time trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?"

"Because it might actually be there, Esme! Too many people think things aren't worth the time when they might be!"

"Edward," she sighed before reaching across the table and placing her hand atop mine. "I thought we discussed you staying away from relationships for a little while anyway?"

"We did discuss it, and I said I didn't want to. I know that you think I'm really scarred from what happened with Royce and all the other guys I've dated, but I'm fine. I'm not going to actively seek a relationship, but if a guy I like comes up to me, I'm not going to turn him down."

"Jasper isn't offering you a relationship. He's offering his dick. Is that what you want?"

"Honestly?"

Esme rolled her eyes and went to put our empty cups in the dishwasher. "Edward, I'm your friend, and I know that you are capable of making your own decisions. I just want you to be smart and careful about all of this. If you want to go forward with Jasper, I won't stop you. Keep in mind that we both know it's a bad idea though, and if he breaks your heart, I will most definitely throw an I-told-so in your face."

I smiled and nodded my head. Again, she was right. Jasper was a bad idea. I'd known that all along, but I'd hoped Esme would convince me otherwise.

"Look, let's just forget about Jasper. I have a double shift at work today, but I feel like going out. What do you say?"

"Of course," she smiled. "Shall I call Rose and Emmett?"

"Hell no," I said, shaking my head. "I've still got Jasper on the brain. I might spontaneously burst into conversation about him, and she'd have his head on spit if she knew what happened last night."

Esme laughed and nodded her head in agreement. I left her place and went across to my own. I got ready for work and went on about my day, stuck in a Jasper induced haze. I was looking forward to a night out. I needed to forget about him.

I reconsidered Esme's advice several times. Sure, I'd told Jasper over and over again that I wasn't interested, but I'd also allowed him to charm me back into his clutch. That night at the bar was the perfect opportunity to have a real conversation explaining why I couldn't indulge him in his fantasies. I didn't do that though, because subconsciously, I wanted Jasper to sway me. By the time I slid into a cab bound for my favorite gay club, Drip, I decided that I was done with Jasper for real this time. He could never be what I needed him to be, and I'd already promised myself not to fall for these guys who I knew would hurt me.

Drip was always crowded. It didn't matter that it was a Monday night. Boys from all over Chicago congregated here to dance and meet other boys. I frequented the club myself at least twice a week. Esme had brought me here for the first time after I told her I was gay. She didn't like going to clubs, but Drip was the exception. She hated being hit on at straight clubs, but whenever we came here together, I would always find her making out with someone. I was starting to wonder if Esme had been single so long because she had a thing for gay guys.

The doorman was friends with Esme, and he never made us wait to get in. There was a never-ending line wrapped around the building on any given night. We entered the club together and were immediately swallowed by a sea of dancing boys. I grabbed Esme's hand, and we wrestled our way through the crowd and to the bar. We dove into party mode head first by ordering four shots, two a piece. We clinked glasses and slammed them back.

"This is going to be a good night! I can feel it!" Esme exclaimed.

"Me too," I replied honestly. I couldn't describe it, but there was definitely something in air that made me a little giddy. Esme and I decided to do another round of shots before going out on the dance floor. The DJ was playing great music, and I readily gave myself over to the beat. Esme wrapped her arms around my neck and undulated her body against mine. Esme might have been shy, but the whole game changed whenever she got alcohol in her system. I grabbed her tiny hips and rocked back against her. I don't know how long we danced, but eventually, I needed to take a break. I nodded my head toward the bar, and she shooed me away. She turned around and replaced me with a sandy haired guy who eagerly latched on to her gyrating hips.

I shook my head, amazed at how she could attract gay men easier than I could. I found an empty bar stool and sat down. I was hot and a little out of breath after all that dancing. My body continued to sway to the music though. I flagged down the bartender and ordered a Sour Patch.

"Make that two, and put it on my tab, Mike," a voice said from behind me. The bartender nodded as my body went completely rigid. My heart pounded in my chest as dread and longing coursed through my veins.

"Long time no see, baby," he said in my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my neck and his chest on my back. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself, but that only resulted in his heady scent filling my nose. He smelled exactly the same, and I licked my lips as the urge to taste him took hold of me.

"Turn around, Edward. Let me see those pretty eyes, baby."

My fists clenched as I struggled to keep control over myself. I focused hard and drudged up all the hurt and anguish he'd cause me. I spun around on the stool and faced the man who had once claimed me, mind, body, and soul. I hadn't seen him in so long, and his beauty and size startled me. His russet skin was smooth and even. He had glossy dark hair that fell to his shoulders. He kept it back in a ponytail but would always take it down whenever I asked. I loved running my fingers through it, and even now, my fingers itched to do it again. His eyes were so dark, his lips full, his teeth white, and his smile wickedly sexy.

I was tall, but he still managed to dwarf me, standing at six foot seven. He was freakishly tall, and his muscular body gave him an intimidating air. People gave him a wide berth out of fear, but I'd loved his size. Making love to him, I'd felt truly consumed. To this day, I'd never found a better lover and probably never would.

"I'm not your baby, Jacob," I scowled.

"Aren't you?" he challenged, quirking a brow. "You'll always be mine, Edward."

He leaned forward to reach behind me and grab our drinks that the bartender placed on the bar. Warmth radiated from him and into me. My body sagged helplessly as memories of us filled my mind; his lips around my cock, his hands pushing my thighs open, and his tongue in my mouth.

He pushed the drink in my hand and took a sip of his own. I drank mine greedily, needing the burn of the liquor to keep me in the present. My eyes searched the dance floor for Esme, hopping she would see us and come rescue me. I found her still out there with the sandy haired guy. They were swallowing each other's faces. I'd be lucky if she even remembered we'd ever met before.

"I've missed you, Edward," Jacob said, cupping my face in his hand and bringing my attention back to him.

I pulled away from him and fixed the scowl back on my face. "Oh really?" I snarled. "What about your wife? Does she miss me too?"

He sighed and shook his head sadly. "Just because I'm married doesn't mean I didn't love you, Edward. I still love you now. What we had was special. You know that," he said, stepping closer to me and placing his hand on my thigh.

I wouldn't deny that Jacob loved me. It had been plain to everyone, not just me. He loved his wife more though. She'd come home early from a business trip and found us in bed together. The weeks that followed were pure hell. I'd loved him with my whole heart. I was hurt and betrayed, but I couldn't imagine my life without him. I'd dated a lot of guys, but I was convinced that Jacob was the one I was destined for. The blame had been on him, but somehow in a twisted turn of events, I was the one begging _him_ not to leave _me_. His wife didn't want him once she found out he was gay, but he still chose her over me. He chased her while I chased him. The last time I saw him, we'd engaged in an argument so terrible, the police had been called. His wife eventually took him back, and I'd heard through the grapevine that they now had twin boys.

Looking at Jacob now, I still had a place for him in my heart. The good times had been too beautiful to let the bad tarnish them. He'd brought me to brink of death though, and the pain of his rejection still ran deep. While I knew that another bout with him would undoubtedly result in my demise, I would leave this club with him tonight if he asked me.

"Please go away," I pleaded, in a voice probably too quiet and broken to be heard over the pounding music.

"But you don't really want that do you, baby? I can see it your eyes. You still love me," he replied.

I didn't know how to respond to that. I felt my shoulders droop even more as a lump formed in my throat. I wanted to go with him, but the searing pain in my chest was only a glimpse of the hurt he could cause me. The confusion in my head was maddening, and I felt like my entire body was about to shatter.

"Is there a problem here, babe," a new voice said at my ear as an arm was draped over my shoulders. I nearly shouted with joy and relief. I leaned into the now familiar body. I buried my face in his neck and breathed in his scent. It served as some purifying miracle that I couldn't get enough of. It cleared my head of all things Jacob. I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed his name in the worshipping tone it now deserved, "Jasper."

"Who the fuck is this guy, Edward," Jacob growled.

"I'm _his_ guy," Jasper replied, equally menacing. I knew that I should have said something, but I couldn't. I'd already used up all my fight against Jake. "But more importantly, he's mine. If you don't get your hands off what's mine, I'm going rip your arm from your body and make that mine too."

I peeked up through my lashes and saw that Jake was nearly shaking with rage. Jasper's arm tightened around me before Jake slowly moved his hand from my thigh. I glanced up at him and he gave me a pleading look.

"Edward?"

"Go the fuck away, asshole," Jasper hissed.

I burrowed deeper into Jasper and a tension filled silence reigned the moment. I felt it the instant Jake left. My whole body seemed to be released from invisible binds. Jasper leaned back and lifted my chin to make me look at him.

"Are you okay, Edward? Who was that?"

I looked into Jasper's concerned eyes and shook my head. I didn't feel like talking about Jake anymore. He no longer mattered anyway.

"Ask me to dance," I said.

He looked uncertain and apprehensive. I could only imagine how pathetic and weak I'd looked when Jake was here. I hated that Jasper saw me that way. I was better now though, and I needed to restore the image of myself in his mind. I couldn't explain why, but I just needed to.

"Ask me to dance," I repeated more forcefully as I gripped his shirt in my fists.

"Will you dance with me, Edward?" he asked shakily.

"Hell, yes."

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><p><em><strong>There you have it, ladies and maybe gents! Click review and tell me you think!<strong>_


	10. Chapter 10

_**SM owns.**_

_**Huge thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin. Although she did a splendid job, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. **_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper<strong>_

It was a sign from above. It absolutely had to be. I'd spent the majority of my day going crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward and that kiss. I was so fucking horny I was close to pulling my hair out. I didn't know whether I should call him, or just leave him the fuck alone. I started thinking that sex with Edward just wasn't in the cards for me. As evening rolled around, I decided it was time to go out and find someone who actually wanted me. The idea of letting Edward go killed me, but his constant rejection was worse.

I took a long hot shower, got myself dressed, and headed to Drip. It was the best gay club in Chicago, and it seemed to draw in the sexiest guys from all over the city. I thought about finding a girl, but if only for tonight, I needed to sleep with another man. Soft curves and boobs couldn't have been further from my mind. I walked into the club, and so many beautiful boys caught my eye. I wasn't attracted to any of them though. I just had an eye that could spot and appreciate all forms of beauty. I went up to the second floor where I could sit at a table and watch the mass of dancing bodies below.

Two beers in and twenty minutes later, my eyes caught a shock of bronze hair entering through the door. It was Edward. I'd come to the club looking for a hot guy to sleep with, and Edward walked in. It had to be fate telling me not to give up on him yet. I wanted to go to him right away, but I found myself unable to rise from my seat. Insecurity, like I'd never felt in my life, arrested me. I remembered each time Edward ran away from me and wondered if the fates were actually laughing at me instead of encouraging me.

I stayed in my seat and decided to just watch Edward a little more before making a decision as to whether I should approach him or not. He made his way to the bar, and I realized that he wasn't alone. He was with Esme. I'd met her a few times and knew that she was a mutual friend of Rose and Edward's. She was a sweet little thing and extremely pretty. My eyes widened in shock as I watched her knock back shots like a pro before going out on the dance floor with Edward. They held my undivided attention as they danced like lovers. My eyes followed every rotation and thrust of Edward's hip. I was suddenly green with envy as Esme's fingers disappeared beneath Edward's shirt, and his hands palmed her ass. I would have given anything to be her in that moment.

I ordered another beer wanting to drown out the sting of all my unpleasant emotions. Edward and Esme danced for forty-five minutes straight, and my eyes never left them. I sighed in relief as Edward finally left Esme on the dance floor to go to the bar. Esme didn't miss a beat and seamlessly got into the groove with another guy. I watched her in amusement for just a few minutes before looking back to Edward. I gasped in fear and outrage as I saw him with another man.

The guy was NBA tall, WWE built, and Calvin Klein gorgeous. He was all over Edward, and my first reaction was to be jealous again. When I took in the expression on Edward's face, I felt nothing but fury. Edward was a ball of fear, anger, grief, and distress. His face was fixed in a scowl, his shoulders drooped to his knees, and his eyes held some unfathomable emotion that sent my heart through a paper shredder.

I couldn't be sure, but it seemed like they knew each other already. No one evoked those kinds of emotions from a person they just met. I watched the man reach out to touch Edward who jerked away as if he'd been burned. My heart pounded in my ears blocking out all other sounds. When Edward's body seemed to collapse with sorrow that I couldn't even comprehend, I was seeing red. I jumped out of my seat, stormed down the steps, and began forcing my way through the crowd toward them. I had no idea who the fuck that guy was, but he was causing Edward some kind of torment. I wasn't going to stand for it another minute.

In the back of my mind, I knew that there was a strong possibility this beast of a man was about to beat the living shit out of me, but I couldn't let Edward suffer in his presence a second longer. When I reached them, Edward clung to me like his life depended on it. Instinctively, I knew that in some way it did. My chest swelled with pride and hope that, despite my harassment, Edward could feel safe and secure in my arms. I held him tighter and turned my attention back to Sasquatch. I'd expected a fight, and for a few seconds, I thought he'd give me one. The look he gave me was withering and would have killed me if possible. I returned his gaze though. I was ready for whatever, and in the end, he just walked away. I sighed in relief and turned back to Edward.

The look on his face made my chest swell again. There was no pride in it this time. It was something warm that I couldn't name, or maybe I just didn't want to name. What I knew for sure was that it scared me. It terrified me. I needed to get my mind off myself and focus on Edward. He needed me.

"Are you okay, Edward? Who was that?" I asked.

He exhaled, and his sweet breath fanned over my face. The look in his eyes was reverent and wild as he stared directly at and through me.

"Ask me to dance."

I don't know what I expected Edward to say in that moment, but I can assure you that was not it. Whoever that guy was, he'd done something to Edward. This wasn't the Edward I was used to. I suddenly wished that I hadn't just let him walk away. I should have punched him in the face as soon as he was in my reach.

Edward grabbed me by the collar and brought my attention back to the present. Apparently, I hadn't answered fast enough for him.

"Ask me to dance," he growled.

My dick twitched in my pants as I was reminded of the dominant Edward that had kissed me in the kitchen this morning.

"Will you dance with me, Edward?"

A slow smile spread across his face as he nodded. "Hell, yes."

I grabbed his hand and led him to the center of the floor. Once we found a suitable space, Edward's hands were on me. They started on my ass as he used it to smash my hips into his. I groaned as the contact pushed my semi into full mast. He groundagainst me as his hands moved up my back slowly, until his fingers were buried in my hair. I'd fantasized about being this close to Edward. I'd dreamed about being the one he dance with and touched. Now that it was actually happening though, I was in shock. I didn't snap out of it until Edward's lips were at my ear.

"Don't tell me that the infamous man-whore doesn't know how to move his hips," he teased. I smirked, loving his cheek, and brought his arms down from my neck. I spun him around so that his back was to my chest and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Oh, I know how to move mine, Edward. I know how to move yours too," I said, pulling him back into me as I thrust forward letting him feel my erection. He pushed his back to greet it as he moaned deep in his throat. His head fell back to rest on my shoulder as his back arched. I took advantage of his exposed neck and ran the tip of my tongue along his skin. The man was delicious, and I groaned my approval in his ear.

One of the disadvantages of being a man is having two heads. One is capable of intelligent thought and reasoning. The other is not. This is a serious problem because the head without the brain usually wins every time. I knew that I should have stuck to my guns and left Edward alone like I'd planned. My little head told me that a tight ass was literally in my grasp, and I needed to do whatever it took to get us inside that tight ass. My senses formed an alliance with the head in my pants against the one on my shoulders. The smell of Edward, the feel of his body, the sight of his dazzling face, the taste of his skin, and the sound of his moans, all numbed my brain until it was totally out of commission. It was defeated so quickly that it was silly to say there had even been a battle.

"Come home with me, Edward," I whispered before taking his earlobe between my teeth and tugging gently. I heard his breath hitch and smiled as my dick rejoiced with another looming victory. Edward tried to put space between us, but my grip became ironclad around him.

"Just say yes, Edward. Say yes, beautiful," I murmured. I splayed my hand over his pelvis and smashed his ass against my arousal again.

"Jasper," he whined breathlessly as his eyes squeezed shut.

"Yes, Edward," I growled. "Say it."

He suddenly broke free from me. Don't ask me how he did it because I wouldn't be able to tell you. I nearly exploded with fear and rage that he was about to run again, but just as quickly as he got away, he returned. His brows were furrowed, and his green eyes were stormy and feral as he looked at me. His arms encircled my neck, and our faces were so close his breath left his mouth and went directly into mine. I inhaled it greedily, hungry for his lips and tongue as well. His eyes searched mine frantically as emotions crossed over Edward's face at whirlwind speeds. I did catch the first, grief, and the last, lust.

"Yes," Edward said. "Take me home."

The clouds parted, and the angels sang. Fireworks exploded, and the Star Spangled Banner played. No words would ever sound as sweet as Edward's surrender. I was happy for myself but for him as well. I wasn't going to take this night for granted. I would do everything in my power to make sure that Edward got a taste of paradise in my bed tonight.

I transported Edward from Drip to my bedroom as fast as humanly possible. I closed the door behind me and turned slowly to face the man that stood in the center of my bedroom. He was finally here where I'd wanted him for so long. I was so happy I could've cried.

I sauntered over to him and cupped his face in my hands before kissing him deeply and slowly. I swallowed his moan and supported his weight when his knees gave out. I pulled back to look in his eyes, and because I was not a total asshole, I had to ask, "Are you sure?"

"I finally agreed, and you're seriously going to question it?"

It wasn't an answer, so I stayed quiet until I got one. Hesitance was all over Edward's countenance and only got stronger as the seconds ticked by. My heart plummeted until Edward's words sent it soaring again.

"I'm sure."

I couldn't keep up with this man. I had been sure that I was bound for another round of persuasion, but like a light switch, his expression changed from apprehensive to determined. I grinned and kissed him sweetly on the lips. I took my time undressing myself completely. My cock was harder than it had ever been. I watched as my nakedness caused Edward to drown in desire. His eyes took in every inch of me, and he definitely liked what he saw. I stepped forward and freed him from his clothes. My eyes feasted on him as I removed each layer of fabric.

When he was completely bare, I pushed him on the bed, and I had to take my twitching dick in hand. Edward's pale skin was breathtaking against my dark duvet. I wasn't surprised to find his body hairless. He was the epitome of perfect grooming. His skin was smooth, and without flaw. Every inch of him: legs, thighs, ass, abs, and arms, was lean but well defined. He was absolutely stunning, and his entire body commanded the attention of my eyes, mouth, and hands. My breathing hitched as my eyes settled on his dick, and my fist involuntarily pumped my own harder and faster. He was long, thick, erect, and leaking onto his heaving abs.

I moved toward the bed and covered his body with mine. Edward was eager, and his arms immediately enveloped me as he attacked my mouth with his. I matched his fervor easily and groaned loudly as he rubbed his hardened length against mine. We made out like teenagers, humping and groping like mad until I had to come up for air.

"I've never seen anyone like you before, Edward. You're almost too beautiful," I breathed.

Blush erupted on Edward's cheeks, and I chuckled before reaching down and enclosing his cock in my hand. I stroked him from base to tip slowly and reveled in the primal shout of pleasure that escaped from Edward's lips. I kissed his throat as my thumb dipped into his slit to collect the pre-cum gathering there. I quickened my pace to lightening speed pumps and then slowed to a leisurely stroke, pushing him to edge and dragging him back. Watching Edward writhe and thrash under me as his hips bucked, nearly pushed me to climax. The sounds he made varied from pained whimpers to debased roars, and I loved them all.

"Please, Jasper!" he begged, trying to failing to keep his eyes open. "I need to come. I _need_ to! Please!"

I let go of his cock only to include mine in my grasp and granted his wish. My own moan and cries of pleasure mingled with his as I drove us into our first orgasm. Hot come splattered over us and the sheets. Some landed on Edward's full bottom lip, and he instantly licked it off. I growled both in bliss and anger. _I_ wanted that come. My tongue plunged into his mouth, searching out that drop of cum that I intuitively knew was his. The taste of his seed was everything I imagined, salty, sweet, and Edward.

When I pulled away from him, I noticed his hips were still moving, and his chest and cheeks were flushed.

I grabbed wipes from my nightstand and cleaned us up. Our first orgasm was behind us but more were sure to come. The night had just only begun.

I sat back on my heels between Edward's legs and tried to catch my breath. Edward lay before me, and his green gaze never left mine. When we both had calmed down, he tried to sit up, seemingly to grab me, but I lunged forward and kept him on his back. I pinned his hands on the bed above his head with one hand and used my other to knead his firm ass. I randomly placed kisses on his lips, neck, and nipples.

"I told you before that this night would be all about you," I said, sucking at the sensitive spot just behind his ear. He moaned appreciatively and turned his head to lavish my neck as well. I enjoyed his lips on skin for only seconds before pulling back to meet his eyes. "So tell me what you want, Edward."

His brows knit in confusion. "What?" he asked, becoming flustered and uncertain.

"Tell me what you want. Where do you want my hands, my lips, my tongue, my _cock_," I said, adding emphasis to the last word as I pushed my awakening member against his hip. I was happy to see that his dick was coming back to life again as well. I bent to take his pert nipple between my teeth. I bit down hard, making him yelp and struggle against my hold. I held him tight though and lapped at his pebbled flesh to soothe the ache.

"Jasper," he groaned as he continued to writhe. His cock was more than halfway hard now.

"Tell me," I said, sliding my hands down his arms, sides, and thighs. I lifted his knees and thrust against him. He grabbed my ass with both of his newly freed hands and tried to push me into him more.

"Jasper...just...I don't know...just don't stop!" he stammered.

"Don't stop what?" I asked, brushing my lips against his without actually kissing him.

"Jasper, just come on," he whined. "Please!"

"Please what? Get the Scrabble board?"

He scowled and slapped my ass. I gasped and then hummed in delight. Maybe he liked it rough. It didn't matter to me. I'd do whatever he wanted. He just had to tell me first. I started a trail of kisses down the center of his body. I reached his cock and licked it from base to tip before blowing along the wetness.

"Jasper, stop teasing me!" Edward whimpered.

"Tell me what do then."

He rose up on his elbows and fixed me with a stare that was supposed to scare me but only excited me. I dipped my head and licked his balls. His head fell back between his shoulders.

"Yes!" he hissed.

"You like that, baby?" I asked, massaging his thighs.

He looked at me and nodded his head. It was my turn to scowl at him. I wanted to hear him. I wanted him to tell me what he liked and to be forceful like he was this morning.

"I'm waiting, Edward."

"Suck my cock, Jasper!"

"Yes, sir!"

I took tip of his penis in my mouth and swirled my tongue around the ridge. I moaned at the taste of him. His cock was delicious, and I took more of him into my mouth. I wrapped my hand around the base and began stroking what couldn't fit in my mouth. Edward had a huge cock, and while I knew that I could deep throat him, I was going have to work up to it. I took more of him in but pulled back when I knew I was about to gag. I hollowed my cheeks and sucked his cock with all the suction power of a Dyson.

"So fucking good!" he gasped. "Look at me, Jasper. Let me see those eyes, baby!" Edward said as he caressed my jaw. I instantly brought my eyes up to meet his, elated that I was given another command. He looked so fucking sexy as he smirked and simultaneously bit his lip.

"You're the beautiful one, Jasper. So fucking beautiful," he breathed.

I smiled around his dick and took him deeper than I did before. Flattery went a long way with me. I was conceited that way. I massaged the underside of his cock with my tongue and bobbed my head furiously. Edward fell back on the bed and started thrusting into mouth. I went down on him as he pushed up.

"My balls, baby. Touch my balls!"

I immediately obeyed. My boy had no problem making demands now, and I loved it. I took his heavy sack in my palm, caressed it with my thumb, and used my fingers to graze his perineum.

"Oh fuck, Jasper!" he yelled, loosing the rhythm we'd established. I felt his balls lighten in my hand. I used my other to push down on his pelvis and keep him still. I breathed in deeply through my nose and took all of Edward into my mouth. My throat constricted around his head, and that was all it took. He shouted his release and hot spurts of his cum emptied in my throat. He clutched painfully at my hair, but I ignored it and worked to swallow all he gave me. When he let me go, I came up gasping for breath with watering eyes. I got about one lung full of air before Edward tackled me. I was moaning into his mouth before I even fully registered that he was kissing me.

"That was amazing, Jasper," he said into my mouth. Inwardly, I was preening from his praise. Tonight, there was no goal greater than pleasing him. He nibbled at my neck and the underside of my chin, as if my pleasure was his focus as well.

"I need you inside me, Jas. I want to ride your cock."

His hands moved up and down my chest as he ran the tip of his tongue along the shell of my ear. I was painfully hard and readily agreed to Edward's plan. I moved to get the condom and lube, but Edward pushed me back down.

"Don't you dare move, Jasper Hale," he smirked.

I wanted dominant Edward, and that's what the hell I got. He opened my nightstand and retrieved the items we needed. He popped the cap on the lube, took my hand, and poured some on. He straddled my hips and rose up on his knees.

"Get me ready."

I wasted no time at all. I reached beneath him and rubbed my slick finger around his hole. He smiled down at me before tearing open the condom with him teeth. He rolled it on me before pouring lube into his own hand. He gripped me as I pressed my middle finger into his ass. We moaned out loud together, and I bucked into his hand as he pushed back into mine.

"Another, Jasper! Don't baby me!"

Edward definitely liked it rough. I pushed two fingers inside him despite not even properly loosening him with one. His eyes went wide as he gasped loudly. I feared I'd hurt him until he asked for more. I pumped and scissored my fingers inside him. The sounds he made drove me crazy. His ass was squeezing my fingers. My imagination ran wild with how he would feel around my cock. I pushed in another finger, and as soon as it was in, Edward pushed my hand away. He leaned over to kiss my lips as he continued to stroke me.

"Are you ready, Jasper?"

I looked into his eyes and nodded my head. "Been ready for a long time now."

He rose back up on his knees and lined me up to his entrance with one hand. He placed the other on my chest to keep his balance. I thought he'd lower himself onto me slowly, but he didn't. He took all of me at once.

I pushed my head back into the mattress as my back arched and toes curled. My mouth opened in what should have been a scream, but no sound came out. It was okay though. Edward yelled loud enough for the both of us. The only thing that kept me from coming on the spot was the fear of what the neighbors might be thinking after hearing Edward. He made it sound like I was in here murdering him.

"Fuck! God damn, you've got a big cock, Jasper!" he grunted.

I wanted to respond, but I couldn't. I was concentrating too hard on not coming. His cavity wrapped around me like a flaming fist. Edward was tighter than anyone I'd ever fucked in my life. I felt him begin to move but clutched wildly at his hips probably scratching him in the process. I needed to keep him still though.

"Wait, baby, wait!" I squeaked, unattractively. "I need a minute."

He grabbed my jaw, tilted my head, and made me look him in the eye. "Focus on me, Jasper. I can't stay still. I need you to keep up with me."

I whimpered but nodded my head. He started slowly, just rocking his hips, but it was enough to make us both moan. Gradually, he sped up until he was bouncing up and down rapidly.

"You feel so good, E! Don't stop, baby. Don't stop!"

He showed no signs of slowing down regardless. He bounced, ground, rolled, and rocked his hips frantically on top of me. If one thing was for sure, Edward could ride a damn dick. I looked down and watched my length disappear into Edward's body over and over. Sweat covered both of our bodies, the room was filled with the sound of skin slapping together, and the smell of sex was heavy in the air.

I sat up suddenly and wrapped my arms around Edward's body before devouring his swollen lips. His fingers found their way into my hair as he secured my face to his.

"Never had it this deep before. Never."

I nodded my head, incapable of speech. He was fucking me senseless, and all I could do was feel. There was a tightening in my belly, and I was going to come soon. I reached between us and began jerking Edward with earnest.

"Come with me, Edward," I said through gritted teeth.

He pushed me flat on my back and leaned backward, planting his hands on the bed. The new angle drove me deeper still and allowed the tip of my dick to hit his prostate every time he slammed down on it.

"So close, Jasper. So close!"

"Edward!"

The coil in my stomach sprang, and my dick pulsed inside Edward, emptying into the condom. Edward came seconds later. His body contracted around me, milking me for all I was worth. My body convulsed violently on the bed as white light erupted behind my eyelids, and I chanted Edward's name like a prayer. This was irrefutably the most intense orgasm of my life. He collapsed onto my chest, and I clung to him for dear life. I knew that we needed to clean up our mess, but for some reason, I could not fathom the idea of being away from him so soon. I kissed every inch of his face that I could reach, murmuring words of praise and affection in his ear.

I eventually cleaned us both with a couple of warm clothes, tossed the now soiled comforter off the bed, and onto the floor. Edward was completely spent, and I had to maneuver his limp body around and under the sheets. When I joined him in the bed, I pulled his back into my chest and held him close. His body fit perfectly into mine, and I never wanted to let him go. I'd always been a cuddler, but this time something was different. I needed to feel his skin. I wanted to be inside him, but not sexually. I just couldn't seem to close enough to him. I showered his back and shoulders with kisses before burying my face in his hair.

"Goodnight, Edward," I whispered.

"Night, Jas," he mumbled, half asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, the previous night's events replayed in my head, and a smile spread across my face. I had finally had sex with Edward fucking Cullen, and I could safely say he was the best I'd ever had. I reached out searching for him in the bed. My hands found nothing but cold sheets. I shot up in the bed as my eyes snapped open. I looked around the room and found no trace of him. I called out his name and was met with no response.

He was gone.

Normally, waking up alone after a one-night stand was perfectly acceptable. It let me know that I wouldn't have to deal with any uncomfortable goodbyes or make plans I knew I wouldn't keep. This was not the case with Edward. I was hoping he'd want to have one more go before he left.

Without sounding like a complete girl, sex with Edward had been special. It wasn't the kind of sex you could just move on from. It was the kind of sex you had repeatedly and as often as possible. I'd been successful in getting Edward to sleep with me once. I would be successful again. And again. And again...

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><p><strong><em>I know that a lot of you are probably disappointed about Edward giving in to Jasper. All of you had thoughts about how this story is going to go and after this chapter, I feel the need to tell you that this story will stray from the usual plot lines. My boys will behave badly, and they will make plenty of mistakes. Jasper and Edward will both learn things from each other, but those lessons will be an ode to the old saying: Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.<em>**

**_With that being said, click review and leave me some love!_**


	11. Chapter 11

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin. Although she did a great job, all typos and grammatical errors are mine alone.**_

**_A lot of you were freaked out by my last A/N, but I hope that you all stick with me. There won't be too much angst here and definitely believe in HEA. I also wanted to let you guys know that from this point on the POV's may not switch back and forth between the boys like have so far. I may stick with one boy for two or more chapters depending on what's going on by at the end of the chapters._**

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

It took me five whole minutes to get out of Jasper's bed. The main reason was because I was trying to break out of his death grip without waking him. The other reason was because my ass was sore. I'd wanted to build an altar for Jasper's dick last night, but now I just wanted to shoot him in the urethra with a nail gun. My ass was sore, and if simply sliding across the mattress was painful, I was terrified of what walking would be like. The only thing that scared me more was Jasper waking up before I left. That fear pushed me out of his bed and motivated me to limp down the stairs and out the door.

I couldn't stay in his arms. I couldn't ruminate how warm his body was, how good he smelled, and how wonderful this felt. This was a one-night stand and nothing more. I liked Jasper and that was already extremely dangerous. I needed to walk away before my like grew into anything stronger. I needed space to reflect on the night for what it was: the best sex of my life.

It remained to be seen whether sleeping with Jasper was the right thing to do or not, but like the kiss, the sex had been too good to regret. I'd had three of the most powerful orgasms anyone could ever dream to have. I'd expected the sex to be good, but my expectations had been surpassed a million times over. My mind had been blown, my world rocked, earth shattered, the ground shook, and any other clichés to describe great sex. I felt a little silly for turning him down all those times before. Jasper was someone that everyone should have on their bucket list.

During the cab ride home, my mind replayed the night before. Seeing Jacob had been devastating. Seeing Jasper had been soothing. Dancing with him had been intoxicating. Fucking him had been awakening.

I'd been through the ringer emotionally and physically last nightand now I was exhausted. When I got home, I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed without bothering to put on a stitch of clothing. I was too tired and wanted to get as much sleep as I could before having to get up for work. Luckily, I was working the closing shift and didn't have to be there until four. When I woke up hours later, I dressed for work and decided to walk and take the subway. I wanted some time to get the limp out of my walk before I got to the store. My workday passed quickly, probably because I daydreamed about Jasper all day. When I got home, Esme came rushing out of her apartment as I was unlocking mine.

"What the hell happened to you last night?" she asked, quirking a brow.

"I left with Jasper, and before you even think about yelling me, I'm pretty sure it was the best decision I've ever made," I told her.

I smiled as I watched her eyes widen to the size of saucers. "You two are together now?" she asked.

"Nope," I said, opening my door and ushering her inside first. "I've never had that many consecutive and equally mind-blowing orgasms in my life."

"Details. Now."

I went into my kitchen and opened a bottle of wine. Esme ran back to her place to get a box of donut holes she'd just bought from Dunkin.

"These were my dinner, but since you're about to let me live vicariously through your love life, I've decided to share," she said, looking at me as if she was bestowing me with some huge honor.

"You were going to eat fifty donut holes all by yourself?"

"You think fucking a whore is the best decision you've ever made?"

I sighed and nodded my head. "I'm sorry for judging you," I told her with sincere contrition.

"Apology accepted. Now, seal it with a kiss," she said, leaning forward and tapping her puckered lips with her index finger. We kissed and made up before going into the living room with our gourmet dinner. I turned on some music, and we settled on the couch. I relayed the whole story, reluctantly telling her about Jacob as well.

"Oh, honey! Why didn't you come find me?"

"You were making out with that guy, you hussy!" I retorted. "Plus it was Jacob! I was dazzled and paralyzed with despair and stupidity!"

"I'm sorry. Continue," she replied, nodding her head in apology.

By the time I reached the conclusion of my tale, Esme had morphed into a giggling and squealing teenager.

"I can't believe you had a one night stand!" she exclaimed, slapping my thigh.

"It wasn't really a one-night stand. I'm sure I'll still see him all the time. He _is_ Rose's brother," I said.

"Do you think it'll be weird when you see him," she asked.

"I don't think so. I think it was awkward being around him when I knew that he wanted to sleep with me. Now that we have though, I'm pretty sure things will be a lot easier without him plotting ways to fuck me and me having to fight him off," I responded.

"Do you still like him? Yesterday you were all flustered and confused."

I polished off my first glass of wine and poured my second. I did still like Jasper. I liked him a lot actually, but I knew that nothing would ever happen between us. The amazing sex had only made me want him more though. He was a phenomenal lover on top of everything I liked him about him. He seemed the perfect package, except he wasn't.

I was disappointed, but that was nothing new. Disappointment and I were well acquainted, and while we'd gotten off to a rough start, we'd learned how to coexist quite nicely. Disappointment could be quite hurtful, but in the end, it helped me grow and made me stronger.

"Yeah, but I'll get over it. I always do."

She looked at me uncertainly, and I could only imagine what was going on in that head of hers. I wanted it to stop at imagination though. When she opened her mouth to actually speak, I stuffed a donut hole in her mouth.

"I'm a big boy, Esme. I can handle myself," I said.

She pointed a finger in my face and glared as she chewed her donut. It wasn't until she swallowed that she spoke. My girl had the best manners. "Firstly, you're not going to keep shunning my advice! Secondly, the last time you said you could handle yourself, you ended up sleeping with Jasper!"

"And I don't regret that! I'm fine! I'm more than fine! I'm well fucked, eating donut holes, and drinking Riesling," I said happily before clinking my glass with hers.

She looked at our spread with a frown on her face and then looked back at me. "We're going to be sick. You know that, right?"

"Nah," I said, waving a dismissive hand. "I think our stomachs are cast-iron by now."

"We really do have poor diets," she said somberly before stuffing two more donuts in her mouth at the same time. "We're going to develop diabetes, have heart attacks, go into liver failure, and gain two hundred pounds," she said with a panicked expression. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead.

"How about this, we'll only eat half," I proposed. I grabbed another hole, bit half, and then fed the remainder to Esme. "It's less calories this way," I explained.

She smiled up at me and kissed my cheek. "And this is why I love you."

I was determined not to let the feelings I had for Jasper ruin the memory of the night we spent together. He came in like a knight in shining armor and made Jacob go away. He probably didn't know, but he'd saved me from unthinkable pain that night. I'd felt indebted to him in that moment, and I repaid him with my body. He got what he wanted, and I got one unforgettable night of passion. The situation was ideal.

Over the following week, I went on about my life as usual. I went to work, I went out with Esme, Rose, and Emmett, and jerked off every night while recalling sex with Jasper. The night had secured a prime spot in my spank bank. In my opinion, things had been going very well.

That was until we met again at Rose and Emmett's seventh anniversary party. I'd known he was going to be there and took extra care into what I planned to wear. I wore gravel jeans, a fitted black button front shirt with short-cuffed sleeves, and a black leather jacket. Without sounding too conceited, I looked damn good. The party was held at Rose and Emmett's house, and I walked in with Esme on my arm and a smile on my face. She leaned closer me as we approached Rose and Em. "Clocked him already. Eight o'clock. Flirting with the girl in the blue dress," she said, without moving her lips or letting her smile falter.

"Is she pretty?" I asked, implementing my own perfected ventriloquism. I couldn't see them from my position without actually looking over or doing a sideways glance, which I refused to do because that was always so painfully obvious.

"Does it matter?" Esme countered with no small amount of smugness in her tone. I wanted to look at him so badly, but I held out. I didn't want him to know how anxious I was to see him.

"I hate you."

"The trio is complete!" Emmett bellowed as his eyes landed on us, marking the end of Esme and my secret conversation. He burst between us and gathered us in his arms. "The three Es are back together again!"

"Happy anniversary!" Esme and I intoned before handing over our present.

"Thank you," Rose said, coming over to greet us as well. She kissed our cheeks and then gave me a critical once over. "Are you trying to get laid or something?" she asked.

I could just feel Esme smirking impishly and wanted to slap it off her face. I abstained from violence though and laughed at Rose's comment. "I am actually. It's been a while," I joked.

"Well, don't let my brother hear you say that. He'll be running around here on his knees, begging for your cock," Rose said, casting an evil eye in the direction Esme had told me Jasper was. Esme burst into loud and obnoxious laughter.

"Is that right?" my traitorous neighbor asked, quirking a brow. She didn't wait for either Rose or me to reply before pulling Emmett away.

"Come on, Em. Show me where the dessert is," she said, leaving Rose and me alone. Rose led me out into the backyard where most of the guests were gathered. Rose and Emmett had a huge wooden deck that was set up with food and tables. The patio was set up with tables as well, and I chose to sit with some of the guys Emmett played football with on the weekends. I knew them all pretty well since I was the guy they called when someone couldn't make a game. All the while I sat talking and laughing with them, I kept glancing at the French doors, waiting for Jasper to walk through them. I hadn't gotten a chance to see him yet, and I was getting impatient. I did see a girl in a blue dress though. I figured she was the one that Esme saw Jasper flirting with. She was a beautiful Latina; tall with long wavy dark hair. I wondered if he had fucked her already or if he would tonight? I wasn't necessarily jealous of the girl. My friend, disappointment, was right there with me though. Fortunately, my phone rang giving me a distraction. I missed the call, but when I saw that it was someone from my job calling, I ran upstairs to one of the guest rooms to call back.

"Hey Alice, what's going on?" I asked when my co-worker answered the phone.

"The new girl completely fucked up the register! It won't open, and there's a customer waiting for her change. I don't know what to do. It keeps making this noise," Alice told me frantically. She pressed a button and let me hear the sound she was talking about.

I sighed heavily when I realized what was wrong. Alice was going to have to restart the register. As I was giving Alice instructions on what to do, the bedroom door opened, and Jasper Hale walked in. My eyes widened in shock as I watched him lock the door behind himself. He turned to face me, and the look on his face was down right predatory. I'd seen that look many times before, and my dick twitched in response. My eyes raked over his body, and even though he was fully closed, I saw him naked.

"Edward, you still there?" Alice's voice brought me back to attention.

"Yeah! Sorry, Alice," I said, shaking my head to get myself back together. Jasper began sauntering over to where I stood. My heart rate kicked up, and I knew that I had to be breathing heavily into Alice's ear. "After it comes back on, put in your name, employee number, and the store's reference number," I said, talking a little faster to speed the conversation along. Jasper was directly in front me, and I put my hand on his chest and gave him a warning glare when he started leaning in as if to kiss me. His ice-blue eyes glinted wickedly before he pushed me down on the bed. I gasped in surprise and tried to get up, but he quickly climbed on top of me to keep me down.

"Edward, are you okay over there?"

"I'm fine, Alice. Just a little preoccupied," I replied breathlessly.

I was trying to keep the phone positioned at my ear with my shoulder and fight Jasper off at the same time. The phone kept slipping though, and I was reduced to one hand to defend myself as I held it in place. Jasper easily pinned my wrist and ravished my neck with kisses.

"You'll have to count down the register again and leave a note for corporate explaining why it had to be done three times instead of two. The customer that's waiting, what did she buy?"

I felt my cheeks redden with both exertion and embarrassment. I was breathless and doing a poor job of masking the moans Jasper was invoking. I could only imagine what Alice was thinking.

"Um, she bought the suede Betty boots and the black Sienna hobo bag," Alice replied, and I could hear the discomfort in her tone. Jasper's hand went up my shirt and tweaked my nipple. My back arched off the bed, and I dug my nails into his back. I wanted to hurt him, but his groan let me know that I'd achieved the opposite.

"Great, throw some complementary suede and leather protection in her bag to apologize for the inconvenience. Make sure you give her a verbal apology as well. I'm also confused as to why the new girl was on the register at all when I made it clear that she should only assist customers until I expressed otherwise," I said, struggling to make my anger apparent while Jasper palmed my growing erection.

"I did not put her on the register! I was in the back getting something for another customer, and when I came back out, she'd already screwed everything up," Alice explained.

"We'll talk about it, when I get there tomorrow," I said before hanging up. I tossed my phone on the bed and started pushing against Jasper's chest now that I had another hand free. Since I was already at a disadvantage, it wasn't long before he had that hand pinned down as well though. He brought his head up from my neck and covered my mouth with his. All resistance stopped, and I kissed him back eagerly. He moaned into my mouth and rocked his arousal against mine. It felt so good, and I needed to touch him. I wriggled my hands free and reached down to grab two handfuls of his ass. I pushed him into me harder and slipped my tongue in his mouth. We carried on kissing and humping each other for who knows how long. Jasper pulled away first, and when he did, we were both breathless with swollen lips.

"I would have never taken you for a runner," he said, looking into my eyes. I could see an odd mix of anger and elation in his.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" I asked in confusion.

"Not at all. I wanted to fuck you again the next morning. I want to fuck you today and tomorrow. I'm busy on Wednesday, but I'd love for you to sit on my dick Thursday and any other day you're available," he said, waggling his brows suggestively.

I knit my brows and tried to process what he was saying. Was he saying that he wanted to see me regularly? I didn't even want to think the word relationship because it just seemed too good to be true. I'd dated a lot of men, and I wasn't enough of a fool to think that our fuck session had changed Jasper in anyway. Despite myself, I could still feel hope trying to spark in my chest. Jasper needed to explain before I lost control over my emotions.

"What are you saying?" I asked.

Alarm covered Jasper's face. He must have heard the beginnings of hope brewing in my voice. He sat back, putting space between us but stayed straddling me to keep our erections in contact.

"The last week was amazing, and I haven't got my fill of you yet, Edward Cullen," he said before leaning over me again. He took my jaw in his hand and angled my face. He placed a brief but passionate kiss on my lips.

"Don't get me wrong though. I don't do relationships. I don't do exclusivity. I don't do rules either. I need freedom to do whatever I want. I'd just like there to be a standing invitation between us. Would you like that, Edward?"

I was under physical assault as Jasper rocked his hips against me, nibbled, and sucked at every inch of my skin he could reach. I could say that my decision was made under duress, but that would be a lie. Despite what Jasper was doing to me, I was having a moment of stunning clarity. I'd been in lot of relationships that, in the end, all came down to sex. With Royce, we were at our best in the bedroom, and then he went on to try and make me get his friends off. With Jacob, whether he truly loved me or not, he had used me to fulfill a desire that his wife could not. When he'd left me, he'd said his marriage meant more to him than fucking me. Other deal breakers had included a guy who belittled me every chance he got because he couldn't get over the fact that my cock was bigger than this and a guy who only wanted to experiment.

Jasper's bottom line was sex as well, but the difference with him was that he was up front about it. He wasn't pretending there would be anything more between us. He wasn't claiming to actually have feelings for me. There was no ambiguity or sugar coating of what he was actually after. No matter what happened, no one would get hurt because our agreement would only include pleasure. My track record proved that monogamy didn't work for me at all. Esme said that I needed to take some time for myself, and I could do that with Jasper. He just wanted my body. I could give him that and still technically be single. It was probably the _best_ way to be single. I'd have freedom, space to think, and a cock ready and waiting whenever I was horny.

"Does that smile mean yes?" Jasper asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked into his blue eyes, and the honesty and anticipation there excited me.

"It does." I nodded.

"Really?" His expression was completely incredulous.

"Yes, really!" I exclaimed. I couldn't understand why he always felt the need to question me when I was giving him exactly what he wanted.

"In that case, let me give you a token of my appreciation."

Jasper got down on the floor at the foot of the bed, grabbed my legs and pulled me until my ass was at the edge. Seconds later my pants were open and my dick was in his mouth.

Yeah, this was going to work out just fine.

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><p><em><strong>Alright lovelies! Click review and tell me how you feel!<strong>_


	12. Chapter 12

_**SM owns.**_

**_Many thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin, for revising this chapter. Although she did a marvelous job, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. _**

**_Can I just say that I have the best reviewers in the world? You guys are amazing, and your comments and compliments fill me with all kinds bubbly happiness!_**

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><p>"Your turn," Edward smirked. He tried to pull me down on the bed, but I stood strong and shook my head.<p>

"That was just for you. You can take care of me later at my place," I said, hoping he'd agree. I had to admit, I was shocked that he'd agreed to sleeping with me with no strings attached in the first place. When I'd come up with the idea, I'd thought he would turn me down, and I would have to badger him into compliance. Instead, he'd agreed with absolutely no convincing. It was like Christmas had come twice this year.

"Sure," he smiled. "It'll have to be later though. I came here with Esme, so I'll have to take her home before I meet you."

"That's fine."

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my arms before bringing my lips to his. I could kiss that man for the rest of my life and never tire of it. His lips felt so good and tasted even better. I kept the kiss brief though. I was already struggling to keep my erection down without any added stimulation.

"Come on. Let's go back down before we're missed," I said before unlocking and opening the door.

"What the hell is going on?" Rose asked, standing right outside the room.

I knew that look in her eyes, and it usually resulted with me being in some sort of physical pain. My hands instinctively went down to cup and protect my balls. Rose pushed past me and into the room before pushing Edward out.

"Downstairs, Cullen. I need to mutilate my brother," she said in her trademark saccharine tone.

Edward must have known it well because there was fear and sympathy in his eyes as he looked from me to Rose.

"Um, Rose? As a favor to me, could you leave his boy parts intact?" Edward asked.

A part of me wanted to cry. There was no way my sister wouldn't know we were sleeping together now. If he had stayed quiet, I may have been able to finagle my way out of this before Rose could destroy me. The other part of me wanted to burst out laughing. The look on her face was priceless!

"Are you fucking my brother?" she asked incredulously. While I enjoyed witnessing her shock, there was something else in her eyes that didn't sit well in my stomach.

"I did once. Last week. I'm more than certain it won't be the last time though," he replied, staring at his shoes to avoid her eyes.

It was my turn to look between the two of them. The mood in the room shifted, and something heavier was underway. I could tell that Rose was feeling angry, concerned, and more than a little panicked. I wasn't exactly sure about Edward, but he seemed angry as well. I was also picking up on a little nervous defiance from him. I felt like I was getting in the middle of something that had everything and nothing to do with me.

"Go and enjoy the party, Jasper," Rose said, leaving no room for argument. Edward took a deep breath before looking her squarely in the eye. There was no more nervousness radiating from him. He and Rose looked like they were in for a hell of a fight. For some reason, I felt the need to stay and support Edward. I knew how Rose could be and didn't want to leave him alone. He seemed to understand my hesitance even though his gaze never left my sister.

"I'll see you later, Jasper," he said, his tone just as final as he issued my second dismissal. I looked between the two one more time before leaving the room.

I got a beer and went outside where the rest of the guests were. My body was outside, but my head was still in that room with Edward and Rose. I was oddly worried about him, and I didn't want Rose yelling at him or forcing him to do things her way. I loved my sister, but she had very little patience for people and things that didn't go her way. She was bossy and spoiled—a brat. I didn't know much about Edward, but I did know the look I'd seen on his face that night at the club. Just the mere possibility that Rose would put that look on his face made my blood boil.

"Somebody kill your dog?"

I looked up and saw my brother-in-law standing in front of me. I smiled and shook my head before taking a swig of my beer.

"My nonexistent dog is fine, Em," I replied.

"Then what's up? You're over here, away from everyone else, scowling and growling."

"I, most definitely, was not growling." I laughed.

"Whatever. Tell me what's wrong," he demanded, leaning against the house.

"Your wife's angry with me. I fucked another one of her friends."

Emmett burst into his obnoxious guffaw and clapped me on the shoulder in congratulations.

"Who was it? Maria?"

My eyes instantly swiveled across the yard to where Maria was standing. She was sexy as hell, and while I hadn't fucked her yet, I would soon.

"Not yet," I replied with a smirk.

"I love your life! Lauren?"

"No."

"Leah?"

"No."

"Jane?"

"I fucked her already, and you're guessing in the wrong sex."

Emmett's brows knit in confusion and then lit with understanding. "Edward?"

"Tell him what he's won, Bob!"

Emmett sighed heavily before taking a sip of his beer. He looked at me with the sympathy usually reserved for widowed women and orphaned children. "She's going to murder you for that one. You'll find out very soon that people get pretty serious when it comes to Edward. That includes me too, bro. So while I'm all for you getting some ass, you had better not have hurt him."

Emmett gave me a look that could encase fire in ice before he walked away from me. What the hell was with everyone glaring at me? More importantly, what was it about Edward that made everyone want to kick someone's ass for him? I couldn't really be upset with Rose and Emmett because I felt the same way. Still, it was a little unsettling when I was the one whose ass was on the line. For the rest of the party, I kept to myself. Edward did catch my eye before he left though. He had his arm wrapped around Esme's neck, and right before they walked out the door, he looked over his shoulder at me and mouthed the words, "I'll call you." I nodded my head once to let him know I understood, and then he was gone. I'd planned to leave right after him. I knew that he needed to drop Esme at home, but I wanted to shower and put new sheets on my bed before he arrived. When I tried to leave the house though, Rose blocked my path.

"You and I need to talk," she said. "Why don't you come give me a hand in the kitchen?"

I didn't even deign to put up a fight. I just followed her into the kitchen, hoping to get this over with quickly. I had no intentions of breaking my plans with Edward because of Rose. She followed me in, and once the swinging door was still, she started ranting.

"Why? Why? Why, Jasper? I asked you to leave him alone! Ever since we were in high school, you've been going after my friends! Why can't you just stick to the sluts who throw themselves at you whenever you go outside?" she fumed.

I wanted to reassure her in some way, but I had no idea of how to do that. I shrugged lamely, turning my palms upward.

"I don't know what to say, Rose. I'm not going to apologize because it would be a lie. I had a good time with Edward. He had a good time with me. As adults, we've decided to keep having a good time with one another," I told her.

She sighed and scrubbed her hands over her face. She was clearly frustrated, and the worry and panic she'd felt earlier was in her eyes again. Her expression turned my stomach. She came over to me and grabbed both my hands.

"Look, Edward's great. I completely understand the pull. He's devastatingly sexy, funny, witty, and smart. I get it, Jasper. The thing is, there's a lot more to Edward that you don't know about. He makes terrible decisions. He becomes easily attached, and his heart as been brutally broken more times than most people could survive. I don't want you to be the next guy to hurt him. If you won't do it for Edward, do it out of respect for me, your sister, and just leave him be," she begged.

I dropped my head as shame and disgust washed over me. Rose had never asked me for anything, not even when we were young for things like candy or ice cream. It made me feel like an asshole because now that she had asked me for something, I wouldn't give it to her. To make matters worse, she wasn't even making a ridiculous request. She was only asking me to find someone else to screw, and I already had someone else in mind. Maria's number was programmed into my phone just waiting for me to use it. My selfish ass still needed Edward though, and I'd never loathed myself more.

"Edward is a grown man. He can make his own decisions, and if he wants me, he'll have me," I mumbled, not daring to meet Rose's eyes. She dropped my hands as if they burned her.

"Get the fuck out of my house."

I did as I was told without another word. Doubt and regret ruled over me as I drove home. Rose knew Edward better than me. If she felt the need to beg on his behalf, there had to be something big I didn't know about. I thought about asking Edward what the hell was going on. I didn't want to hurt him. I needed to know if Rose was just being overprotective, or if our agreement really was a bad idea.

I was half-way home when my cell rang. My heart skipped a beat, knowing intuitively that it was Edward, and I answered without glancing at the ID screen.

"You can still come, right?" I asked, suddenly nervous that Rose may have scared him away from me.

"Of course," he replied, his deep voice of velvet and chocolate making my dick stir. "I'm driving down your street right now."

"Well, you are eager," I teased, feeling a little giddy. "I'm not even there yet, but I will be soon. Sit tight."

I hung up before he could reply and pressed my foot down on the accelerator. I still needed to shower and change my sheets. The shower was only a necessity because I'd been sporting a semi since I'd blown Edward earlier in Rose's guest room. I needed to rub one out before I fucked him. I wanted our time tonight to last. When I got to my house, Edward was sitting on the porch eating a bag of chips. I wouldn't be able to tell you why, but it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. I quickly got out of my car and ran up the steps to let us in.

"What did Rose say to you?" I asked before we even got all the way in the house. Edward simply shrugged his shoulders and crunched on his chips.

"Oh, nothing," he said. "When I first met you, I practically vowed to never fuck you, and she wanted to know what changed."

I grimaced at his words. He vowed never to sleep with me? Was I that bad? My thoughts must have shown on my face because Edward pulled me into his arms and kissed me with salty lips. His warm hands slid under my shirt and up my chest. His fingertips ghosted over my nipples. He was applying the tiniest bit of pressure, trying to tease me out of my mind. It was working.

"Can we stop the talking part and start the fucking part?"

All thoughts of Rose and my doubt left my mind. My semi was growing fast, and I needed that shower. I kissed him once, twice more before pulling away.

"Can you just give me twenty minutes? I want to shower and change my sheets really quickly."

"Go ahead. Do you mind if I get something to drink?" he asked.

"Sure. Make yourself at home," I said.

I watched him for a few moments. He was still in his clothes from the party, and he looked sexy as hell. His jeans were fitted just enough to showcase his ass and thighs without looking like he was about to pass out from loss of circulation. He peeled off his leather jacket, exposing the impression of his pectorals under his shirt. I was painfully hard, and decided to kick my ass into gear. I ran to the linen closet grabbed a set of fresh sheets, changed the bed, and hopped into the shower. I jerked my hardened length almost violently trying to get off as quickly as possible. I got out of the shower fifteen minutes later, dried my body and wrapped the towel around my waist. I grabbed another to dry my hair and then went out into the kitchen in search of Edward. I instantly found him leaning against the sink. He'd stripped down to his boxers and, oddly enough, was sipping at some sort of steaming beverage.

He looked over at me and ogled my damp body unabashedly. I smiled and dropped my towel. I didn't want anything to obstruct his view. I walked over and leaned against the island across from him. He eyed me hungrily, calling my cock back to attention. I had record-breaking recovery time.

He closed the distance between us, pressing his hips into mine. Being this close to him, I could smell the contents of the mug he was cradling in his hands. Tea.

I was about to remark on his surprising choice, but he placed the mug on the counter behind me before suddenly dropping to his knees. My breath hitched in anticipation. His green eyes looked up to meet my blue ones. I lifted my hand to run it through his silky bronze mop. He smiled wickedly before glancing at my heavy arousal. He leaned forward and ran his nose along my length.

"You smell so good, Jasper," he murmured.

I wanted to reply, but my mind was blank. It was obvious, what he was about to do, and I was too breathless to speak.

Abruptly, he grabbed my cock and sucked me halfway into his mouth. My eyes went wide, my toes curled, and I yelled out loud enough to wake the dead. The hot tea had heated Edward's mouth and hand, and my dick was in hellish heaven. His molten mouth glided up and down my dick slowly, letting me get used to the extra heat. I pushed both my hands into his hair, needing something to hold on to as a stream of grunts, moans, and whimpers fell from my lips.

He slid back, hollowing his cheeks and using all the suction of a black hole, until only the head was in his mouth. He used his fiery hand to stroke the rest. His tongue swirled around the ridge before pushing into the slit. I'd wanted to look down and see his pretty lips around my dick, but I couldn't. My eyes were closed too tight, and my head had fallen back between my shoulders. The pleasure was almost too much, and already, I was on the brink of bliss. The tip of his tongue was flicking and pressing into the sensitive spot just under the head, and my knees began to shake. He pulled off me with a pop and took a deep breath. I took full advantage of the reprieve and looked down at him. His eyes were shining excitedly, and his lips were wet and swollen. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off when he lunged forward.

"Fucking hell!" I screeched as Edward's nose made contact with my nest of blond curls. Not many people could deep throat me, but Edward was making a picnic out of the task. His superheated palm came up to tug and roll my rapidly tightening balls. "Oh! Edward! Fuck!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

He pulled off me for another breath before sucking me in again. He bobbed his head and used his feverish tongue to massage the underside of my dick. My fists had to be causing pain as I gripped his hair. I tried to loosen my hands, but I would grip too hard again whenever the pleasure shocked me. My hips began thrusting wildly into his mouth, and he moaned in approval, sending vibrations waving into me. I heard the gurgle of saliva every time I hit the back of his throat, but the boy didn't gag once.

"So close, Edward! Feels so good, and I'm so fucking close!" I sobbed as my whole body tensed and trembled. I finally found the will to open my eyes and look at him. I released a guttural groan at the sight. I'd never again see anything sexier than Edward as his bottle green eyes stared up at me with his glorious mouth full of my cock. When our eyes met, he pushed forward, taking me to the hilt again. Both of his hot hands reached up between my legs. One cupped my balls while he used the other thumb to press into my perineum.

"Edward!" I roared in ecstasy as my orgasm slammed into me with the force of a wrecking ball. I filled Edward's throat and felt the contractions as he swallowed it all down. Edward's wet lips slid back and forth slowly over my cock elongating my climax as much as he could. I was out of my mind with pleasure as I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Stop, Edward, stop. It's too much. Please stop, it feels too fucking good," I whined. I looked into his eyes and found them filled with bewildered amusement. With the way I was holding on to his head, he wouldn't be able to let go of my cock even if he tried. He brought his hands up and struggled to pry my hands from his head. When he was free, he slowly slid his mouth off me with hollowed suctioning cheeks. My cock falling from his red lips was the last straw, and my weakened knees gave out completely. Edward shot up from the floor and caught me before I fell. I wrapped my arms around him, clinging onto him for dear life. My chest heaved with breathlessness as I buried my face into Edward's neck. My body was convulsing erratically with aftershocks of my orgasm, and Edward held me close, rubbing my back and kissing my shoulders to help bring me down from my high.

I don't know how long it took for my legs to regain the strength to hold me up, but when they did, Edward and I moved to the bedroom. I fell onto the bed feeling exhausted and bringing Edward with me. I wrapped my entire body around him feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable after what had happened in the kitchen. My mind struggled to classify what exactly that had been. The act had been entirely too intense, and transcended the simple labels of head or a blowjob.

My mind was still too blown to actually think, but my lips found Edward's and engaged in a smoldering kiss. I could taste myself on his tongue, and we both moaned at our combined flavors. The kiss was broken as my head fell back on the pillow. Edward's erection pushed insistently at my hip, but I was too tired to even think about getting him off. I felt guilty for leaving him hanging like that, but I whispered promises to fuck his brains out in the morning. I was asleep before I could hear his response. The next morning I woke up energized and ready to fuck Edward into oblivion. Too bad, he was already gone.

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><p><em><strong>And Edward's off into the night again! Click review and let me know how you feel!<strong>_


	13. Chapter 13

_**SM owns.**_

_**Many thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin. Although she did an amazing job, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. **_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

Driving home, I was still feeling quite smug. I'd literally sucked the energy from Jasper's body. Watching him come undone was one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen. The sight was made better by the fact that I'd done that to him. I didn't know about other people, but I loved giving blowjobs. It made me feel powerful and in control. I loved breaking someone's composure, making them scream my name and praise me like some sort of demigod.

After my talk with Rose, I knew that she would chastise Jasper and try to make him leave me alone. My suspicions were confirmed when he began questioning me immediately about what Rose and I had talked about. I'd wanted to get his mind off of all that, and I knew that a blowjob from a superheated mouth would be perfect.

I'd learned that little tea trick from an old boyfriend. I could tell that no one had ever done that for him before, and I was truly honored to be his first. I didn't even mind when he passed out, leaving me hard and needy. It just assured me that I'd done my job well. Maybe a little too well actually. The way Jasper had wrapped himself around me and kissed me afterward held something a little extra. It had been so passionate yet loving and sweet. But it had been too much, and I needed to get the hell out of there. I was perfectly fine with trying casual sex, but I needed time to get used to it. In the mean time, my relationship with Jasper couldn't resemble anything I'd do with a real boyfriend. I didn't want to sleep over at his house. I didn't want to go out with him. I didn't want to cuddle and gaze into his eyes as we basked in our post-coital glow. For right now, I just wanted to fuck, take a catnap, and go on about my night. And that's exactly what I did every time we hooked up over the following week.

As a step toward a better lifestyle, Esme and I decided to sign up for a gym membership. We went shopping for workout clothes, water bottles, sweat towels, and running shoes. We were really excited about the whole thing and decided that no matter what, we would go to the gym no less than three times a week. Our first workout session started on the elliptical. For thirty minutes we were pumped and going at a brisk and steady pace. Esme broke first. She left me and went over to the leg weights. She wasn't actually working on her legs though. She was just resting on the bench and watching some guys doing squat thrusts. It didn't take me long to follow her over there.

"Rose called me this morning," I said after I caught my breath.

"Did you answer?"

"No, she left a voicemail. She wants to come over and talk to me," I replied.

"Are you going to let her?" Esme asked, glancing over at me.

I shrugged my shoulders. The only thing I wanted to hear from Rosalie was an apology. I knew that she'd never give me that, so she'd just have to wait until I wasn't angry with her before we spoke again. After she'd caught Jasper and I together at her party, we'd argued for a long time. I'd explained the agreement that Jas and I had reached, and she'd told me that I was a delusional jackass with no sense of self-preservation if I thought it would work. In response, I'd told her she was no less delusional than me if she thought I gave a shit. Things had only gone downhill from there.

Rose was sure that Jasper would break my heart. I wouldn't lie; it was a definite possibility, but he couldn't hurt me any more than I'd already been hurt. Despite the possibility, I was certain that Jasper wouldn't hurt me. I knew because I'd never give him that opportunity, and he'd never want it.

After explaining all of that Rose, she'd looked me in the eye for one long moment. Her stare had made me feel completely naked and exposed. She'd breathed a heavy sigh, clasped my face in her hands, and kissed my lips. Though her kiss was gentle, it had reminded me of the kiss of death that Michael Corleone had given his brother Fredo in the Godfather Part II.

"I don't want to hear about it. Don't call me asking for my help, my advice, or my shoulder to cry on. We've been through this too many times before, and now I'm done."

Her words didn't scare or hurt me. They pissed me off. I'd never asked for anyone's help in my fucking life. I'm grateful for everything Rose has done for me, but all advice, help, and shoulders to cry on had come to me unsolicited. I didn't appreciate her making me feel like some needy little whiner who couldn't handle his own problems. Neither did I appreciate the assumption that just because I'd fucked up in the past I was destined for another fuck-up now. I'd left her house last week and hadn't seen or heard from her since. Well, until I listened to her voicemail anyway.

"Why should I?" I asked, looking over at Esme. "She told me she was done."

"She didn't mean she was done with your whole friendship, just that aspect of it. What she said was fucked up yet understandable. Nobody wants to hear about their brother's sex life," Esme said. I knew that Rose was our mutual friend, but Esme had been mine first. That meant she should take my side. I was quick to remind her of that.

"Shut up, you big baby," she scoffed. "You know I'm right. Leave her hanging for one more day and then call her tomorrow."

I grumbled angrily, but I knew that Esme was sort of right. Maybe Rose didn't want to hear about her brother having sex, but I knew that wasn't why she'd said she was done. She said it because she thought she knew how to manage my life better than I could, and I wasn't bending to her will. Either way, Esme was verging toward traitorous behavior. I decided to actually pump some iron so that she was alone in looking like a lazy slacker.

Esme rolled her eyes. "Oh please, Cullen. You can't pull off the macho man role and be petulant at the same time," she told me.

"I'm not petulant."

"So petulant," she countered.

She adjusted her weights and started working again as well. The rest of the gym trip consisted of us trying to out macho each other, but since I was already a man and therefore ahead of the competition when it came to testosterone, Esme had to put a little extra effort in by growling, grunting, and hitting on every girl that passed us.

"Nice rack, sugar," Esme called out to a girl with a truly nice set of boobs and blond hair. The girl spun around and walked back over to us.

"Not so bad yourself," the girl said, giving Esme the lusty eyes. "Find me before you leave."

The girl winked at Esme, turned around, and made her way toward the exercise balls with added sway in her hips. Esme's face was covered in a mask of horror. I burst into loud uncontrolled laughter. She jumped off her stair-master and pulled me off mine, not bothering to turn off either machine before hauling ass toward the locker rooms.

Once we showered and dressed, we left the gym and went to celebrate our first work out with smoothies from Baskin Robins. We both got small dollops of whipped cream instead of our usual big dollop. Once I was back home, I decided to call Jasper. After being in a room full of sweaty, shirtless guys, I had a different brand of frustration to work off.

"Want to fuck me?" I asked the instant he answered. His responding groan made me smile and put my shoes back on.

"Always," he breathed.

"On my way."

I hung up the phone and left back out of the apartment. It took me longer than usual to get to Jasper's place, thanks to downtown rush hour traffic. When I finally got there, I was already well on my way to being fully aroused. It wasn't until I tried to pull into his driveway that I realized there were two other cars parked there, forcing me to park on the street.

"What the fuck," I asked myself before peering through the car window at his house as if I could see through the brick. Realizing that wouldn't work, I got out of the car and repeated the question to Jasper's face when he opened the door.

"I'm so sorry," he said, looking more put out than I felt. "My friends knocked at the door right after you called. I've been trying to get them to leave, but they aren't budging."

I sighed and tried to take a step back toward the porch steps. Jasper's hand flashed out and enclosed around my wrist. "Don't go!" he begged. "They actually just want to meet you."

I quirked my brow, and a faint blush spread over his cheeks. He bit the corner of his lip and shrugged sheepishly. I didn't really want to meet Jasper's friends. I didn't know if it was okay to integrate into a fuck-buddy's life that way. Jasper knew my friends, but that was only because he was related to two of them. He really only had an acquaintance of Esme's. So if that were case, I guess it was okay to have an acquaintance with his friends as well. Jasper was the expert at this anyway, and if he thought it was okay, then it probably was.

He must have seen the resolve in my eyes, because the hand around my wrist maneuvered around to interlock with my fingers. He smiled at me reassuringly and pulled me inside. Normally, I wouldn't have let him continue to hold my hand like that. It was too intimate. His hand was so warm though, and I was suddenly nervous. His touch made me feel better. Calm. Safe.

We entered the living room, and on the couch sat two men. I wasn't surprised to find that Jasper's friends were beautiful. You know what they about birds of a feather. They both looked me over shamelessly. Though I knew right off that neither of them was gay. One was tall, well built, with short dark hair and brown eyes. He was sexy yet scruffy with about two days worth of stubble and dressed in a well-worn hoodie and jeans. He stood up first and offered me his hand, and I shook it.

"Hi, I'm Peter, you must be Edward. Jasper's told us so much about you," he said with friendliness that was at odds with his gruff appearance.

"Hey Peter, it's nice to meet you," I replied, feeling exponentially more at ease under his warm smile. I tried to let go of Jasper's hand, but he only tightened his grip. The other man stood and offered his hand to me as well. He was average height, shorter than Peter, Jasper, and I and leaner as well. He had hair the shade of wet sand, bright blue eyes, and big ears that added a boyish charm to his handsome face.

"I'm Mike," he said, introducing himself. I nodded my head and gave him my name even though I was sure he already knew it.

"We're sorry for taking up your time, but we just had to see the guy who turned Jasper off pussy," Peter said before he gave me another appraising once over. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Mike. "He's a good looking guy," Peter conceded.

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's the eyes that got Jasper. He's holding all the luck of the Irish in those green fucking eyes," Mike replied, talking as if I wasn't standing right in front of them. Instead of being pissed or embarrassed, I was amused, and quite flattered. Jasper on the hand was clearly irritated.

"He didn't turn me off pussy. I've fucked guys before. You both know that. And if you must know, it was his ass that caught my attention," Jasper scowled. Both Peter and Mike leaned around either side of me to inspect my derriere. I turned my head and twisted a little trying to get a glimpse of my ass too. I couldn't really see, but I was still glad that I'd done a whole thirty minutes on that stair climber before Esme pulled me off. Peter and Mike leaned back and nodded at each other in mutual appreciation of my ass.

"Okay. Well there you have it. You've met him, made him feel like cattle, proved yourselves to be complete ignoramuses, and sufficiently embarrassed me. Will you please leave now?" Jasper seethed.

"See ya, boss," Peter smiled, saluting Jasper. "Hope to see you again, Edward," he said, giving me a parting smile.

"Yeah, you too, Peter," I replied.

"Catch you guys later," Mike said before following Peter toward the door.

Jasper waited until he heard two engines start before he growled and pushed me against the wall. His hands reached up to cradle my face before his lips descended onto mine. I opened my mouth instantly and moaned as his tongue tangled with mine. His kiss was fierce and demanding. I kissed him back but let him take control. When he pulled back, we were both flushed and out of breath.

"I'm sorry. They're assholes, but I didn't meet them until my junior year of college. They weren't around for my freshmen year of exploration. It was guys all the time then," he told me.

"You haven't fucked a guy since your freshmen year of college?" I asked, incredulously.

"Once or twice after graduation and then again when I trying to prepare for you," he replied.

"You prepared for me? Like took a refresher fuck to make sure you were still good at boning men?"

He smiled and nodded his head. I laughed as I felt my cheeks redden. I found that to be oddly sweet and endearing. I looked into his baby blue eyes before leaning in to kiss him again, slower and deeper this time.

"Did the practice pay off?" Jasper asked against my lips.

"Let's go up stairs and find out."

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><p><strong><em>Click that little button for me, lovelies! <em>**


	14. Chapter 14

_**SM owns.**_

**_Huge thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin. Although she whipped this chapter into tip-top shape, any typos and grammatical errors are mine alone. _**

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><p><em><strong>Jasper<strong>_

I walked out of the bathroom and found Edward still sleeping in my bed. After we'd had sex, I stayed awake, cleaned him up a little, and then hopped in the shower. It was a rare treat to watch Edward sleep. In fact, this was only my second time. Edward practically made it his business to be gone before I woke up in the mornings after having sex. Today though, he came over earlier than usual. There were even still vestiges of sunlight outside. I was curious to see what would happen when he woke up. Would he leave like always? Or would he hang around for a bit? I hoped it would be the latter, but I was almost certain it would be the former.

I moved slowly over to the bed and sat down gently. It was fucked up and totally sappy, but I watched him sleep for a while. He was lying on his stomach with one arm curled on the pillow under his head. His other hand shielded his face. He'd covered his face like this the last time I stayed awake after he fell asleep. It was an odd little quirk, and I kind of hated it. I wanted to see his face, his long lashes resting on his cheeks, and those full red lips. Did he sleep with them closed or open? I'd probably never find out.

My eyes roamed down his body, taking in his broad shoulders, strong back, and narrowed waist. The covers were situated around his hips, not allowing me to see the skin of his firm ass. I could see its shape though, and all I wanted to do was sink my teeth in. Sometimes I couldn't even understand this man's beauty.

I abruptly shot up from the bed and went into my closet. What the fuck was I thinking? What the fuck was I doing? I didn't gaze lovingly at people's fucking beauty! I pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt feeling highly disgusted with myself. I could almost feel my dick shriveling up and reforming into a vagina.

I left my bedroom and went down to the kitchen. I was starving and decided to make dinner. I didn't know if Edward would stay to eat or not, but I made enough for him anyway. I was still a little weirded out by my creepy sleep watching and turned on some music to distract myself. I focused on nothing but the music, lyrics, and preparations for the chicken chili I was making. I don't know how long it was before Edward finally made his way down, but when he did, he was fully dressed, shoes and all. I wasn't surprised, but I was disappointed. Nevertheless, I smiled when he appeared in the kitchen archway.

"That smells delicious," he said, coming over to where I stood at the stove. He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked over my shoulder. "Is that chili?"

"Yeah. Chicken chili," I nodded, loving the feel of his embrace. I forced myself not to lean into it though. I spooned out a little of the simmering soup, blew to cool it down, and then held it up for him to taste. I watched his throat bob as he swallowed. His tongue snaked out to collect any lasting flavor from his lips, and he groaned from deep within his chest as his eyes closed in pleasure. Needless to say, all sorts of obscene images and memories filled my head. Clearly, he enjoyed my cooking. I couldn't stop the smile of pride that spread across my face. I remembered my mother telling me that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I wasn't trying to get to Edward's heart though. I just wanted to get him back in my bed. I was certain that feeding and fucking him well would land him here for the rest of the night.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to stay for dinner?" I asked, turning in his arms. I opened his shirt a little with my index finger and ran the tip of my tongue along his collarbone. His hands gripped my waist and pulled me closer. "Do you want to know what's for dessert?" I asked before trailing kisses up his neck. When I reached his ear, I took the lobe between my teeth and sucked on the flesh.

"I hope it's your cock," Edward replied huskily as his hands moved under my shirt to the bare skin of my back.

"How did you know?" I asked, feigning surprise. "Did I leave the package out?"

"No, but I wish you had," Edward replied, rocking his hips into mine. I could feel his burgeoning erection, and I wanted it my mouth so bad. I held off though and pushed him back.

"Not until after we eat. Go find some other way to entertain yourself," I said, shooing him away.

"Do you mind if I shower," he asked.

"Not at all. Go ahead."

He left the kitchen, and I continued cooking. I'd just finished filling two bowls with chili when I heard Edward's footsteps trampling back down the stairs. He appeared dressed in a pair of my plaid pajama pants and a black t-shirt. He looked good in my clothes. He looked good in all clothes actually. I stopped what I was doing to ogle as he walked around my kitchen getting spoons and beers for us. From the smirk on his lips, I could tell that he knew I was watching. I didn't care though. When we were alone together in my house, he was mine, and I'd look at him all I wanted.

"Can we eat now?" Edward asked, wiggling his ass to get my attention.

I sighed longingly and nodded my head. I brought our bowls to the dining room and set one in front of Edward before taking my seat. We began eating in uncomfortable silence, or it would be better to say that Edward ate in uncomfortable silence. I ate while watching him curiously. He fidgeted incessantly, and his eyes roamed all around the dining room, looking everywhere but at me. He shoveled food into his mouth so quickly that it was almost like he was competing in some eating contest. I was equal parts irritated, confused, and for some reason, hurt.

"So, how was your day?" I asked, trying to get him talking and relaxed.

"It was fine," he said. He stopped there, but the slight smile on his face let me know there was more to be said.

"What did you do?"

"Esme and I went to the gym today. I love that girl, but she's crazy as hell," he told me. His slight smile turned into a full grin as he told me about his and Esme's shenanigans at the gym. I listened and watched him speak intently. I didn't know if it was the day's events or Esme that had him so excited, but I loved seeing him like this. His nerves seemed to disappear, and he was completely candid and enthusiastic. The sound of his deep, velvet voice filled the room and wrapped around me like a warm blanket.

"What about you? What did you do today?" he asked.

I sighed and leaned back in my seat. "I've been in the house writing all week. I've got another book coming out," I told him.

His eyes filled with mischief. "Really? What's this one about?"

"A guy who's sleeping with his boss," I replied.

"Is the boss male or female?"

"Female."

I was able to discern real disappointment in Edward's eyes before his expression became more playful. He poked out his lower lip in the most hammed up and adorable pout I'd ever seen.

"Well, I guess I really haven't turned you off pussy," he said with mock sadness.

I rolled my eyes but reached out to take his hand anyway. "I started writing this book before we even met, and I usually incorporate my most recent sexual experiences in my books," I told him.

"Does that mean your next book will have a same sex coupling?" he asked, waggling his brows suggestively.

"No, I don't think I could put the things I do with you in my books," I said, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles.

"Why not?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, averting my eyes. "I don't want to share this with other people. I'd written this scene where my female character wanted to experiment with anal. I ended up deleting it though because it mimicked our first time together too much," I said, directing my words to the table. I couldn't see Edward's reaction, but I sure did feel it. He snatched his hand from under mine, and my eyes snapped up in shock. His face was turned away from me as he awkwardly took a long pull from his beer. I could see an angry twitch his jaw though.

I couldn't understand why he would be mad. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but something told me that wasn't the best idea. For the short time that we'd been together, I'd noticed that Edward liked to keep his cards close to his chest. I found that odd. For a guy who was big on relationships, he wasn't too comfortable with any kind of display of affection. On the other hand, I was being far _too_ affectionate. It was creeping me out, and maybe it was creepy to him as well. The notion that I couldn't be affectionate without weirding someone out bothered me though. While I didn't want to be in a committed relationship now, I did want to eventually. Was I so used to fucking with no emotion behind it that I didn't even know how to share that part of myself anymore?

Edward didn't give me any time to ponder that alarming possibility. I must have been really deep in my thoughts because I didn't even notice him move until he was straddling my lap. When his tongue was tracing the shell of my ear, he had my full attention.

"Is it time for dessert now, Jas?" he whispered into my ear before blowing the wetness his tongue left behind. I shivered under him, and he chuckled darkly. Before I knew it, his hand was in my pants and eagerly stroking me into a full erection. I moaned loudly thrusting into his fist as he worked me like only he could. My head lolled onto the back of the chair as my blood rushed south entirely too fast.

"That's it, baby," Edward said, nipping and sucking at my neck. "Get hard for me."

I was hard, throbbing and achingly so. My need for him went from zero to a hundred in no time at all. I grabbed his ass with both hands, lifted him onto the table, and knocked over the chair in my haste to stand. I reached behind him and swiped the table clean of our dishes to make room for Edward to lie back. I heard our bowls and beer bottles shatter as they hit the floor, but I couldn't care less. I was too horny. Not to mention doing that was one of my longtime fantasies.

I watched Edward's eyes blaze with excitement and desire. Aggression turned him on. I looked down, and the tent in the pants he was wearing confirmed that he was just as horny as I was. We didn't waste any time ridding ourselves of clothing. I usually liked to undress him myself, but things went a lot faster when we handled our own clothes. Edward wiggled off his pants and pulled a condom and lube from the pocket before he threw the pants to the floor.

"I figured we wouldn't make it to the bed," he smirked after registering the surprise on my face. I smiled and pushed him until his back was on the tabletop. I leaned over his body and kissed his lips hungrily. He reached down between us and captured both our erections in his lubed up fist. The man had to be some sort of magician. When and how had he poured the lube into his hand so fast?

"Fuck!" I groaned, glancing down to watch him pump us. The purple, weeping heads of our cocks disappeared and reappeared in his fist rapidly. The sight only made more blood fill my dick. I had to look away before I blew my load before even getting inside him.

I redirected my gaze to his face. His eyes were shut tight as his face contorted with pleasure. I suited up and poured lube into my hand, never moving my eyes from his face. Right before I inserted my fingers in his ass, I grabbed his jaw with my dry hand.

"Open your eyes, babe," I begged. "Let me see you."

He obeyed immediately, and I let out a ragged breath as my hips bucked involuntarily. "You're so fucking beautiful, Edward. So beautiful."

I placed a soft kiss on his lips and ran my hands through his hair. Edward liked feeling the burn of the intrusion and didn't like me to prepare him too much before I fucked him. I pushed two fingers into him, but moved them slowly, needing to be gentle in some way. He gasped in what I knew to be pain, but I could see the delight on his face as well. I moved my fingers in and out of him slowly, and it didn't take long for him to grow impatient. He started trying to push down on my hand, but I gripped his waist to keep him still. He groaned in frustration, and I kissed him sweetly on the lips again.

"Shh," I soothed. "I've got you, baby."

His eyes widened as he stared at me. I glimpsed overwhelming vulnerability and adoration in his eyes before he snapped them shut and turned his face away from me. He pushed me off his body before hopping down from the table. I feared that he was about to walk away from me, but instead, he turned around and bent over, pressing his stomach onto the table. He reached back to grab my thigh and pulled me to him again.

"Come on, Jasper. Fuck me. Fuck me hard."

He rubbed his ass on my dick, and I moaned at the teasing friction. I kicked his legs farther apart, suddenly desperate to be in that tight ass of his. I positioned my dick and entered him in one thrust. He cried out loudly as he arched his back and reached across to grip the edge of the table. My head fell back, and my mouth dropped open to release a moan that never came. Edward's body wrapped around me tighter and hotter than anybody I'd ever fucked. I grabbed his thigh and lifted it onto the table trying to get in as deep as possible.

"Oh! Yes!" Edward moaned as I slammed into him over and over again. The sound of our slapping skin filled my ears and turned me on even more. I grabbed his ass to push his cheeks apart, needing to see where his tight hole accepted my thick cock.

"You feel so fucking good, Edward. I'll never get enough of this!" I said breathlessly.

"Harder, Jasper! You know how I like it," Edward whimpered. He didn't wait for me to amp it up though. He threw his ass back onto me so hard it almost made me stumble.

"Ah, shit!" I yelled, leaning over his back to brace myself on the table. I let him fuck himself on me, struggling to keep myself upright as my legs started to shake. Edward's ass snatched at my cock as if it belonged to him, and I was trying to steal it. It felt too good to be real. My balls began tightening, and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. I reached underneath him and started jacking his dick vigorously.

"Hurry, Edward, please," I begged. "I'm not gonna last."

I angled my hips just so, allowing him to hit his prostate everything he pushed back onto me. I continued begging him to come through gritted teeth. He thrashed beneath me, and his hot release spilled into my hand. My own orgasm crashed over me simultaneously as his body pulsated around me. Our roars of pleasure were deafening and uncontrollable. Afterward, I knew that neither Edward nor I would be able to walk. I somehow found the strength to push him all the way onto the table and climbed up after him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and showered his back and shoulders with kisses.

I pulled his body closer to mine and buried my face in his hair. His usual scent was gone and replaced with mine from when he'd showered before dinner and used my shampoo. Underneath that though, his own unmistakable scent attached to his sweat slicked skin. The table proved to be quite comfortable, and after a few minutes, my eyes began to droop with exhaustion. I had just fallen asleep when Edward's cell began to ring. He quickly slid off the table and out of my arms. I tried to stop myself from scowling, but I wasn't that successful. I wanted to kill whoever the fuck was disturbing us.

"I know. I know. I know," he said into the phone as he scurried around the dining room, pulling on the sweats I'd just taken off and the t-shirt he'd been wearing. "I'm on my way."

On his way? On his way where? And who the hell was he meeting once he got there?

"Tonight was great, Jasper. Thanks for dinner," he said before leaning over to place a quick kiss on my lips. I quirked a brow and sat up on my elbows.

"Did you double book?" I asked with a smirk, trying to be the picture of nonchalance.

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. "Not exactly. I'm just going to Drip with Esme. Who knows who I'll be leaving with though," he said before winking at me.

Yeah, you heard right. He winked at me while considering sleeping with someone else tonight. Did he not see me still lying here naked?

"I'm stealing your clothes. I'll bring them back next time I stop by," he told me before leaving.

The sound of the door slamming behind him echoed in my ears getting louder each time instead of growing fainter. Maybe I wasn't the best person to judge someone's propriety, but I'm sure that sleeping with two people in one night was just wrong. Unless it was a threesome, of course. I stayed where I was, letting my indignation fester until I finally jumped off the table in search of my cell.

"How secure are you in your sexuality?"

"Look, just because I was man enough to admit that Edward has a great ass does not mean I'm interested in joining your fuck fest," Peter said sternly.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut the fuck up, Peter. I'm calling to ask if you'll go to a gay club with me."

Peter fell silent, and the only thing I could hear were the wheels turning in his head. "What's going on?"

I sighed and dragged my hand through my hair. "Nothing, I just...want to go out," I lied.

"Well, wouldn't Edward be a prime candidate for that particular activity?"

"Yes, but he left already."

"Where is he?"

"Out," I answered after a short, guilty pause.

Peter's smug fucking smirk was practically audible. "He wouldn't happen to be at this club you're trying to drag me to now, would he?"

"Fuck, Peter! I just want to see if he leaves with anyone. I mean we just got done fucking ten minutes ago! I'm all for having a good time, but my health comes first. Sleeping with several different people in one night is not very safety-conscious. I can't keep sleeping with him if he's going to be careless with our lives," I said, trying to convince myself and my best friend.

Peter scoffed. "Whatever you say, Jasper. I'll be at your house in forty-five minutes."

"Thanks, Pete. I own you big time."

"Don't I fucking know it."

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><p><em><strong>Beneath this chapter you'll find a little button that says, Review. Click that for me will ya?<strong>_


	15. Chapter 15

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks so much to my wonderful beta, cocoalvin. Although she did a marvelous job revising the chapter, any typos or grammatical errors are mine alone. **_

_**I have the best reviewers in the world! You guys rock my friggin' socks! I got some strong opinions about the last chapter and a lot of new readers as well! Yay! Thank you all so much for reading my little story. It's my joy to share it with you all. Also, I wanted to let you all know I wrote this chapter a little differently. POVs switch in the middle of the chapter. It's labeled, but I just wanted to give you guys a heads up anyway.**_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

After I'd slammed my second drink of the night, I felt a whole lot better. Being with Jasper today had me all fucked up in the head. While the sex had been amazing, I'd been in a rush to get out of there. I was starting to doubt whether this fuck buddy thing would actually work. It seemed like Jasper was completely fine with the way things were going, but I kept getting confused. I knew that it was just sex between us, but some times he would look at me, touch me or say something that made butterflies swarm in my belly. He was a cocky bastard most of the time, but there were those other times when he was sweet as pie. Those were the times that my lust threatened to grow into something more.

When Esme had called me, I'd been overjoyed. We'd made plans to go to Drip, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. I figured it was time for me to start seeing other people, to fully immerse myself in the perks of a relationship without rules.

Esme and I were on the dance floor together, dancing like we always did. We were grinding against one another when suddenly someone was behind me, pressing their cock into my ass. I didn't have to look to know that the person behind me was hot. Esme purring in my ear let me know that whoever she was looking at over my shoulder was fuckworthy. She spun me around so that I could face him, and I was not disappointed.

The guy was my height and had amazingly broad shoulders with close-cropped dark hair and hazel eyes. His lips were pink, luscious and soft looking. The press of his heavy erection into my hip let me know that his man was carting around heavy machinery in his pants. I licked my lips as I thought about all the fun I could have with him. His eyes flitted down to my mouth, and he smirked knowingly. He cupped his hand around the nape of my neck and brought my forehead to rest against his. We were so close, and I could feel his minty, sweet breath fanning over my face.

"What's your name, sweetie," he asked. His voice was surprisingly deep and raspy. I liked it. A lot.

"Edward," I replied, tilting my head and moving my mouth closer to his ear. The hand at the nape of my neck moved into my hair and cradled my head to keep me where I was.

"I'm Liam," he replied, sliding one hand down to grab my ass as we continued to dance and grind our hips. "I've seen you here a couple times before, and I'd like to see a lot more of you," he continued.

I knew that he didn't mean he wanted to hang out with me. He wanted to see more, meaning, skin. I should have been excited. This was the exact reason I'd wanted to come out tonight. I wanted to start seeing someone other than Jasper. He had to be seeing other people, but it just still felt like I would be cheating. It made me nervous and a little queasy.

"Hey, you alright, Edward?" Liam asked, leaning back to look at my face. "You're all stiff...and not in the good way."

He smiled and brought his hands up to massage and loosen my shoulders. I returned his smile, but it was halfhearted at best. His hands did feel good and I tried to focus on that. The pleasure of it all was what I was in this for anyway. If he could make my body feel good, my conscience would fall in line eventually, right?

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I think I need a drink."

"Sure," he nodded, taking my hand and leading me to the bar. I ordered my usual drink, a Sour Patch, and sat on an empty stool. Liam gave his order and paid for both our drinks. He pushed forward to stand between my legs and placed a soft kiss on my neck. His lips were soft. They weren't as full as Jasper's, but the kiss still felt good.

"Maybe you wouldn't be so nervous if we got out of here? Went somewhere more private?"

I smirked and snorted a laugh. I looked up at his pretty eyes and saw nothing but lust. The absence of any other emotion was comforting to me. He, like Jasper, wasn't pretending there would be anything else between us. He wanted my body, was attracted to my beauty and didn't care what else I had to offer. I gave him another once over, appraising only the physical. It waseasier to convince myself to leave with him without having to worry about what kind of person he was and how much I would need to tailor myself to fit his wants and needs. In this moment we were perfect for each otherbased on our mutual appreciation of each other's looks.

"You know, I think you might be right, Liam," I replied, slamming back the rest of my drink. I shot Esme a quick text letting her know I was leaving. I waited for her reply before actually going though. She sent me on my way with well wishes and a demand that I use protection. I promised her that I would and left Drip with Liam. We went to the parking lot and got into our separate cars. I was going to follow him to his place. Just in case this all went horribly, I didn't want the bad memories to linger in my apartment.

I tried to keep my nerves in check as I followed behind Liam in my car but failed. What if he was some serial killer or wanted to hurt me? It was likely that I was driving toward my death. What if he wanted to slice me up and sell my organs on the black market? What if he wanted to sell me off into human trafficking?

A huge part of me wanted to just turn and head back home where my safety would be insured. I told that part of me to shut the fuck up. Sure, I could be speeding toward my demise. It was more likely that I was speeding toward a night full of hot, steamy sex though. This night with Liam would also make things with Jasper and I go smoother. With that in mind, my nerves seemed to disappear. I was going to fuck Liam for Jasper's sake.

When we pulled onto his street, it was lined with cars. Since we didn't pull into any of the driveways I figured the house that had a full driveway was his. We had to park on the next block. I got out of the car, and Liam met me on the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I have roommates. They must have decided to have a party or something."

"No, that's fine." I shrugged, even though I wasn't really sure if the situation actually was fine.

"We could go somewhere else if you want," he suggested.

"Will there be people in your room? I don't mind staying here if you don't," I replied. I really didn't want to take him back to my place. I just felt better knowing that I could leave if I wanted to. It's easier to walk out of a house than force someone else to walk out of yours.

"Great. Come on." Liam smiled.

We walked to his house in silence. The music could be heard from the corner, and his roommates seemed to be having one hell of a party. Liam grabbed my hand just as we crossed the threshold. The house was packed with people, and many of them were excited to see Liam. They greeted him with claps on the shoulder, kisses, and hugs. He introduced me to some of them .

"Hey, do you want a drink?" Liam yelled to me over the music. I nodded my head, and he led us to the kitchen.

"Liam!" a guy with brown hair exclaimed as we entered the kitchen. He jumped off the counter he was sitting on and came around to us. He looked between Liam and I with a concerned and slightly panicked expression on his face.

"What?" Liam asked, knitting his brows in confusion.

"Sam's here."

"You invited Sam? What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"I didn't! I didn't even want to have this party. People just started coming over. Next thing I knew there was a party going on, and Sam was here!"

I watched the exchange between them, wondering who the hell Sam was. Clearly, it was a bad thing that he was here at the same time that I was. Liam seemed to forget about me entirely and fled the kitchen in search of the mysterious Sam. The brown haired guy turned to me with an apologetic smile.

"Sam is Liam's ex-boyfriend. They broke up two weeks ago. They had a very...turbulent relationship," he told me.

"Oh, maybe I should just leave then," I said, turning toward the door. Before I could even take a step, he grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers.

"Nonsense," he said, pulling me toward the fridge. "Liam needs a new man in his life. He'll have Sam's ass out of here in no time. You can just use me for cover until he gets back. I'm Riley, by the way, one of Liam's roommates."

He squeezed my hand warmly and handed me a beer.

"Thanks. I'm Edward."

He went back over to the counter top he'd been sitting on and hopped back up. He took a swig of his own beer while giving me a critical once over. He seemed to like what he saw. I took the opportunity to look him over as well. He was more cute than handsome. His face was boyish and innocent, but his dark eyes glinted with naughtiness. I don't know how long I stayed in the kitchen waiting for Liam, but eventually, I forgot all about him like he'd done me. Riley was flirtatious, funny, and surprisingly smart. Conversation floated between our jobs, books that we loved, and music, all the while inserting thinly veiled innuendo.

"I think I'd like to dance with you, Edward Cullen," he said, sliding off the counter and pressing his body into mine.

After four beers, I was feeling damned good. They were playing great music, and I'd already begun to move my hips to the rhythm. "What about Liam," I asked.

Riley scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. "He's been gone for almost an hour. Leaving you here in the kitchen was a mistake. Leaving you here in the kitchen _with me_ was an ever bigger one."

"And why is that?"

"I'll show you."

And that he did.

_**Jasper**_

I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't. I knew that Edward had joked about leaving with someone, but never in a million had I truly expected him to do it. I paced around my living room as Peter watched me with a bewildered expression.

"You don't even know for sure that he's going to sleep with that guy," he said.

"Yes, I do actually!" I exclaimed. "Did you see the way he licked his lips? That's the exact way he licks his lips when he's about to blow me!"

"Well, blowing someone isn't exactly sleeping with them. It's really just foreplay."

"I don't give a shit!"

At this very moment, that asshole could be experiencing Edward's nonexistent gag reflex. A blow-job from Edward was like a Lays potato chip; you couldn't have just one. A pang of fury and jealousy twisted through my stomach. Would that guy keep in contact with Edward? It wasn't good form to have more than one fuck buddy.

"Edward's not used to these kinds of relationships. He doesn't understand the rules," I said before Peter cut me off.

"There aren't any rules, Jasper! That's what this whole thing is about! Being able to have all the sex you want without the hassle of rules and worrying about another person's feelings. I think he understands that more than you do."

"Nobody asked your fucking opinion, Peter!" I growled. "What are you even still doing here? Go home to Charlotte!"

He stood from the couch and clapped me on the shoulder. I pulled away from his comforting touch and looked away from his sympathetic eyes. He bid me goodnight and walked out the door. After he was gone, I collapsed onto the couch and buried my face in my hands.

Now that I was alone, it was easier to accept Peter's words. He was right. It wasn't only Edward who was new to this. I fucked around a lot, but I'd never slept with the same person more than once. It was entirely possible that Edward _did_ have a better handle on what was happening between us.

I was too consumed by him. I needed to remind myself that Edward was not the only person capable of getting me off. I needed to remind myself of that right away. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell. It was after two in the morning, but for my intent, that was the perfect time.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Maria, It's Jasper. Hope I didn't wake you?"

"You did, but if you can find yourself between my legs in the next half hour, I may be able to find it in my heart to forgive you."

"What's your address?"

Hours later, my theory was proved. Edward was not the only person who could get me off. Maria had managed to get me off just fine—twice, in fact. I left her house the next morning feeling better and worse. Despite whatever the fuck I was going through with Edward, I was still me. I was still the guy who loved sex. The guy who was free to sleep with whoever he wanted. On the other hand, I knew that I'd only slept with Maria because Edward had slept with that guy from the club. In the light of day, I could see that sleeping with her had been some childish tit for tat game I'd played to punish Edward when he hadn't even done anything wrong.

When I got home, I took a shower and dressed for the day. I'd just sat down to coffee and a couple slices of toast when Edward called me. I thought about not answering. I felt an uncontrollable need to apologize to him, but if I did, I'd have to explain why. I couldn't tell Edward that I'd followed him to Drip last night though. That would open up a can of worms I really didn't want to get in to.

Before I decided what I wanted to do, the call went to voicemail. I was surprised to see that he actually left a message and listened to it right away. I was even more surprised to hear that he wanted to meet me for coffee later on. Edward and I hadn't gone out together since my scheming had landed us at the bar that night weeks ago. I sent him a text confirming that I'd be there. I was nervous about seeing him, but he had me too intrigued.

At his indicated time, I met him at a coffee shop around the corner from his job. He was already there when I arrived. He was sitting at a table with two cups in front of him. He looked exceptionally radiant sitting by the window as the sunlight illuminated the different shades of red and brown in his hair. He was dressed impeccably as always, but it was his smile that made all the difference. He looked truly and euphorically happy. It made me sick, knowing that this was how he looked after sleeping with someone else.

"Hey," Edward smiled as I slid into the booth.

"Hello, Edward," I replied, trying to return his smile.

"I ordered a caramel latte with an extra shot for you. Is that okay?"

I had no idea how he knew, but that was exactly what I ordered at these fancy coffee houses.

"It's perfect," I replied, taking a sip from the cup.

"Really? It's what I always order," he said with a shrug, his smile never leaving his face. He glanced down at the cup in his hands before looking back at me a little sheepishly. "I hope I'm not taking too much time out of your day. I just really wanted to talk to you before I went to work."

"Oh, it's no problem," I said, waving a dismissive hand. I was really intrigued now and worried too. What could be so important?

"I just wanted to thank you," he said, looking into my eyes as if I'd hung the sun especially for him this morning.

"Thank me? For what?"

"I used to live in a small town, and I was the only gay person I knew. I've known I was gay for as long as I can remember, but I slept with every girl who threw herself at me, trying to hide my secret. I don't know why I came out. I think I just wanted someone to know me, the real me. I told my friend because, of all people, I thought I could trust him. I was wrong though, so fucking wrong.

All my friends instantly became my enemies. I was tormented and tortured at school from that day on. He told everyone. My father had always been vocal about those 'fucking faggots', and when he heard about his only son being one of them, he showered me with his hatred every fucking day. My mother cried and actually got down on her knees once, begging me to stop. She seemed to think I was choosing to be gay in order to hurt her.

"I tried to deal with it. I really did. I planned to graduate high school and get the fuck out of there. That plan went to shit after another incident in the locker room after gym. The gym teacher intervened before anything too awful could happen. I walked away with a black eye, busted lip, bruised ribs, and a mild concussion. I decided I was done after that though. I emptied the meager amount of cash out of my savings account, stole what was in my parents' wallets and ran. I got myself to California, and ever since, I've been on my own.

"After I left my home, I was obsessed with falling in love. When I was still in the closet, I was prepared to live an unhappy life with a wife and kids. After I left though, I needed to find a man. I needed to...validate my lifestyle in some way. I thought if I fell in love, that would prove that it was okay to be queer. That I deserved and was capable of attaining the happiness straight people did. All my life, I've either been hiding, running, struggling, searching for love or getting my heart broken. Then I met you, Jasper."

As he told his story, the smile on his face dissolved into bitter rage and resentment. I wanted to reach across the table and hold his hand. I wanted to comfort him and myself a little too. I hated hearing about Edward being hurt, and my thoughts were murderous. I decided to keep my hands around my coffee mug though. I remembered Edward's reaction the last time I'd grabbed his hand and didn't want to cause him any more distress. Edward surprised me again for the millionth time today though; he reached out and took _my_ hand.

"Last night, I met this guy and went home with him. Nothing happened because there was this huge party going on at his house. His ex was there, and I ended up hanging out with his roommate who was gay too. Admittedly, I did end up making out with the roommate. He was really cute, funny and smart. We danced and drank, and I even took some fucking ecstasy! I stayed the night at their house and ate fucking leftover hot wings and pizza for breakfast. It was crazy and reckless and stupid! Most importantly though, it was fun. Jasper, I can't remember the last time I was able to just completely let myself go and have fun, if ever! If it weren't for you, I would have never left with that guy. I would have never gotten the chance to experience any of that or meet all the people that I did last night.

"Maybe this is all really sappy and over dramatic, but I just had to tell you. I want to thank you but also apologize. Before, I just thought you were this slut who wanted to fuck anyone with a pulse, and maybe some of that is true," he said, smiling conspiratorially at me. "But now I can see the value in how you live your life. It's fun. It's freeing and exhilarating. So thank you for exposing me to new things, and I'm sorry for judging you."

I didn't know what to say. All I could think about was how big of an asshole I was. I'd made this big fuss about him leaving the club with that guy who he didn't even sleep with. Then to get back at him for doing absolutely nothing wrong, I'd slept with Maria. Now here he was thanking me. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I'd initiated this relationship because Edward was the greatest piece of ass I'd ever had. This was something fun for me. Edward actually needed this though. His life had been lived backward. His childhood had been full of struggle and tough decisions. It was only right that he got to have some wild, careless fun while he was an adult but still young.

I was happy that he was getting this chance. After all that Edward had been through, he was finally having a good time and enjoying his life. Maybe he was exaggerating my part in that, but either way he deserved this happiness. No one should have to go through what he did simply because of sexual preference. I wanted him to have a full life. I wanted him to have everything he lost, everything he'd missed out on and everything he wanted in the future. I decided right then and there that I'd continue to help him in any way I could. I'd give him anything he wanted and do whatever he needed.

I looked down at our clasped hands and smiled as a new sense of purpose and pride settled in my chest.

"You don't have to thank me, Edward. I had no idea you would get this much gratification out of our relationship, but I'm glad that you are. It's actually an honor."

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><p><em><strong>There you have it, lovelies! Drop me a line and tell me what you think!<strong>_


	16. Chapter 16

_**SM owns.**_

**_Many thanks go out to my marvelous beta, cocoalvin!_**

**_Hello Lovelies! I'd like to start out by apologizing to those of you who were offended by Edward's drug use in the last chapter. I just want to make it clear that he was just having fun and experimenting. He did it once, and that was enough for him._**

**_ A lot of you were also worried about the conversation between Edward and Jasper at the end of the previous chapter. That conversation did not mean that Edward was going to become some party animal or super slut. It just meant that Edward now understands Jasper's choices, and that he can now truly enjoy the freedom and uncomplicated lifestyle Jasper has shown him. I hope that clears up some of the concerns and worries. _**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

After talking to Jasper, my good mood continued on throughout the rest of the week and into the next. I really was happier than I'd been in my entire life. I was a twenty-four year old man behaving as if I was forty-four. That needed to stop, and it was going to. I was just going to have fun and go with the flow.

When I came home from work one night, I found a gorgeous blond leaning against my door. I quirked a brow and watched those blond curls fall forward to shield baby blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Rosalie muttered, directing her words toward the floor.

"You don't have to apologize," I said, stepping around her to unlock the door to my apartment. I pushed the door open and let her walk in first. Once inside, we kicked off our shoes and went into the kitchen. She sat at the bar while I pulled out beers for us.

"Why haven't you called me back if you're not mad?" she asked.

"I never said I wasn't angry. I said that you didn't have to apologize," I replied.

"Well, what does that mean?"

"That means I know that you're a controlling bitch, and you just can't help yourself. I'm still pissed about what you said though," I explained.

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Edward. It's just that I know you and Jasper are the worst possible couple. I don't want to have a front row seat to watch my big brother break my best friend's heart."

"For starters, Jasper and I aren't a couple; he doesn't have my heart to break. For another thing, that's not even what I'm mad about. I'm mad that you think I'd give you a front row seat to something like that. When I have shit to deal with, I'm content to wallow in my misery, cope, and then move on all by myself. I tell you when things happen to me partly because you're my friend. I'd like you to know what's happening in my life, but it's mainly because you'd never stop badgering me until I did. I never ask you to fix my fucking problems or be my therapist! I didn't ask for your help concerning Jasper, and I never even planned on telling you about sleeping with him. But because you have to put your nose in everything, you discovered the truth on your own," I said, trying not to yell at her. I didn't want to turn this into screaming match. Truly, I was over what had happened, but I knew that we couldn't move past it until we talked it out.

"You two were fooling around in my guest bedroom! I had a fucking right to know what was going on!"

"True. We were wrong to do that, but again, you would have never known we were fooling around if you hadn't felt like you needed to fucking babysit me! You noticed that I wasn't with the other guests, and at that moment you could have just waited for me to return. You didn't do that though. You went around searching for me like a bloodhound!"

"If I had waited for you to come back, I still would have asked where you were!"

"At which point I would have lied."

"So, actually you're mad that I didn't wait around for you to break my trust in you?"

"Don't do that. I already told you why I was mad. If you don't want to know what's going on between Jasper and I, why the fuck does it matter if I lie about it?"

"Because I want to know what's going on, but I don't want to know what's going on!"

I just stared, waiting for her to realize what she'd just said. The silence lasted only seconds and was broken by our laughter. Rose peeked at me from under lashes and pouted.

"You know what I mean, Edward," she whined. "I don't want to know the details, but I don't want you to hide anything from me either. Don't tell me how big his dick is, but don't hide the fact that you're sleeping with him. I'm sorry for the things I said. I was just upset, and you know I talk out of my ass most of the time anyway. Can you just forgive me already?"

I rolled my eyes and went around to where she sat. I wrapped my arms around her, and she returned my hug fiercely, almost crushing my ribs.

"I'm sorry too, Rose, but I just want you to know that, so far, things are going great with Jasper and I. I know that we won't end up buying a house and adopting kids, but for right now, he's exactly what I need," I told her, wanting to offer her some sort of assurance. Even though this was probably the last time we'd ever discuss my relationship with Jasper, I knew that she'd be worrying every single day even though it would be unnecessary, so I wanted to soothe her now as much as I could. She sighed and nodded her head even though she didn't look convinced.

"Well, now that's out of the way, let's address the real reason I came over," she said, her expression switching from worried to impish in an instant.

I pulled away from her and crossed my arms over my chest. "Let me guess. You want to know if I can get you the new Marrakech bag before it comes out?"

"You know me too well."

Rose stayed late at my house. After I'd agreed to get the bag for her, we took some time to catch up. It was good talking to her again. Even though we'd gone longer without speaking in the past, I'd missed her. We made plans to go out later in the week before she left.

After I'd locked the door behind her, I showered and got into bed. I checked my phone just to make sure that I hadn't missed any calls or texts from Jasper. I'd had a long day at work, but no matter how tired I was, I'd give some time to Jasper. I was a little disappointed when I saw that he hadn't contacted me, but I fell asleep easily, knowing that he never stayed away long. And neither did I .

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I answered without looking to see who it was but hoped it was Jasper wanting to ease my morning wood. No luck.

"What's your address? I'm coming over."

"Riley?"

"Yes, baby, it's me," he purred.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Will you bring me pancakes if I let you come over?"

"Pancakes? I don't even have money for my part in this month's bills!" he exclaimed. "I can, however, express my gratitude with sexual favors. A blow job has got to sound spectacular at this hour."

I glanced down at the bulge of my hardened cock under the sheet. He was right. I gave Riley my address without confirming or denying whether I would accept his offer. Riley had a wide mouth paired with pretty pink lips. I was sure that he gave great head, but I wasn't sure if that's the kind of relationship I wanted to have with him.

I dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before putting on a full pot of coffee. It was a bit early for me to be awake considering it was my day off, but I was pretty excited to see Riley. We'd hung out a few times since we'd met, and I liked him a lot. He could always make me smile. When he arrived, his arms were full of bags and books. My eyes widened in surprise as he grinned around a paper bag he was carrying between his teeth. I rushed forward to relieve his burden and let him in the apartment.

We made our way into the living room and dropped everything haphazardly on the floor. He grabbed the bag from his teeth and held it up in the air like a glowing gift from the gods.

"Well, I didn't get pancakes, but when I made that comment about thanking you with sexual favors, I remembered this guy I used to sleep with who works at The Corner Bakery. He used togive me free crap all the time. It was a wild shot, but apparently I give _the good lovin'_, because after six months he was still willing to slip me a bag full of fresh croissants and bagels!" Riley said with a smile that was both victorious and smug.

I snatched the bag from him and plopped on the couch. I pulled a croissant from the bag and took a huge bite before sipping from my coffee mug.

"Does this mean I don't get any sexual favors?" I asked around a mouthful of buttery deliciousness. Riley's smile turned devious as he sidled over and sat astride my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and looked me directly in the eyes.

"Oh, I can assure you the offer is still on the table," he replied. "What would you like?"

He teased me with kisses along the column of my neck and nibbles on my earlobe. I couldn't deny that it felt good. The twitch of my growing erection would have belied me if I did. I craned my neck and tilted my head wanting Riley's lips on mine. The boy could kiss, and after countless make out sessions since the night we met, I could honestly say that I was becoming addicted. He moaned into my mouth and kissed me back with fervor. His mouth tasted of coffee and chocolate. I smiled against his lips, knowing that was probably exactly what he had for breakfast.

"What are you smiling about, gorgeous?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. I slid my hands up his thighs and hips until my fingers were under the hem of his shirt. I lazily caressed the soft, smooth skin of his back and let my head fall on the back of the couch. "So, what are you doing here?" I asked.

He sighed and rested his forehead against mine. "I've got two papers to write, and you know how crazy my place gets. I'm never able to concentrate there. I usually go to the library to work, but I'm giving your place a test drive as my new study hideaway," he responded.

Riley was a soon-to-be senior in college. He was a couple of classes behind though, and to catch up, he was taking summer courses. "And your way of asking my permission was to ask for my address?" I asked, quirking my brow. I was trying to pull off being peeved, but there was just something about Riley. I didn't think I could ever be upset with him.

"I came with food and sex offerings. That's usually enough to get me what I want from any man," he said cheekily.

I laughed and shook my head. "Guess I'm no exception, then," I sighed.

"Perfect!" he said before rolling off my lap. "Now go on wanking or whatever it is you do while you're home alone."

I snorted a laugh but followed his directions. I didn't jerk off, of course, but I did get back in my bed. I took the bag of carbohydrates with me and turned on the TV as I sprawled out, settling in for a lazy Thursday. It took about fifteen minutes for Riley to scurry into my bedroom wearing the most adorable square, black rimmed reading glasses. He had his laptop and two humongous textbooks with him. He shimmied out of his jeans and pulled off his shirt. Wearing only his boxers and an undershirt, he climbed into my bed and shot me a frosty glare.

"I can't believe you left me in there! I was so lonely," he said, his anger melting into a whine and pout. I cupped the back of his neck and pulled him down for a quick kiss on the lips. He was appeased and continued working. Two hours later, a bleary eyed and bed headed Esme crawled into bed with us and nestled into my side. She'd met Riley twice before, and they got along really well. They were both the type of people that others instantly fell in love with, so I wasn't surprised at how easily they clicked.

"This reminds me of my favorite dream," Esme sighed.

"Being in bed with two men?" Riley asked, and Esme nodded her confirmation.

"Perv," I accused at the same time that Riley said, "Whore."

Esme giggled and preened under our praise.

_**Jasper**_

The changes in Edward were fucking radical. For a second, I'd started to believe that his reserved behavior was a figment of my imagination. The only thing that still lingered of his past aloofness was his unwillingness to stay overnight at my place. It still bothered me, but I dealt with it because I had more waking time with Edward. We were truly friends with benefits now. We met for drinks after he got off work, ate meals together, and sometimes just hung out at my house. I loved spending time with him. He was so easy to talk to, and it always seemed like the time we spent together was never enough.

What's more, the sex was better. Unbelievably and impossibly better. Everything about him turned me on: his voice, his smile, hair, eyes, lips, smell, and most of all his masculinity. I loved feeling the muscles under his skin ripple as he moved beneath me, above me, and around me. What shocked me more than anything was Edward's ability to completely blow my mind. From the very beginning, I'd thought I would be the one to astonish Edward with my prowess in the bedroom. In reality, he was the one astounding me. Everything he did was amazing. He made me want to try new things, encourage him to try new things, push our limits and test our boundaries.

I propped myself up on my elbow beside him and surveyed his prone form as he rested on his back. He'd been dozing in and out of sleep for last twenty minutes. He probably could have slept solidly, but I couldn't keep my hands off him. I leaned over him, rubbing my lips against the prickly evening stubble on his jaw. My hand slid down his abdomen to caress his inner thigh with my fingertips. With each stroke, I moved my hand higher. He squirmed and whimpered, brows furrowing as my middle finger massaged his hole, still sensitive from when I'd pounded into him not a half hour earlier. He was sore, but knowing Edward, that only improved the sensation. I swirled my finger around the puckered skin and reveled in Edward's quiet noises.

"God, Jasper," Edward groaned, as I inserted my finger to the second knuckle. I brought my lips to his ear and licked his lobe.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Edward nodded his head and looked at me with lidded eyes. The stormy green pools distracted me momentarily, but the quirk of his brow reminded me of my question. "Do you wax or shave?"

My question was probably just as unexpected as Edward's loud barking laughter. The sound was deep and infectious. I dropped my head and buried my face in his neck. I wasn't embarrassed about what I'd asked, I just wanted to feel the rumbling music as much as I heard it.

"Seriously?"

I brought my face back up and nodded my head. I really wanted to know, but there were follow-up questions that were more important.

"Yeah, I go to this spa called Chicago Male in Boystown," he said. I breathed a sigh of relief and nodded my head. I'd heard good things about the place, but Edward's approval weighed more.

"And you do your whole body?"

"No, I do my chest, male Brazilian, and my under arms."

I reached under him, grabbing a handful of his ass and rolled until I was on my back and he was on top of me. He straddled my hips and leaned over me to kiss along my collarbone.

"So you just shave everything else off?"

"No," Edward murmured against my skin. I couldn't see his face, but somehow I felt his blush and heard it in the tone of his voice.

"Well, what do you do?"

He chuckled sheepishly before sighing. I ran my fingers through his chaotic tresses and hoped that would soothe his embarrassment. A few moments of silence passed before Edward finally answered me. "Nair," he said. A burst of laughter of erupted from my chest. The ending morphed into a yelp as Edward bit down on my nipple. "Don't laugh at me," he growled.

"I'm sorry, E." I chuckled. "I didn't mean to laugh. That was just really unexpected."

"What's with all the questions anyway, Jasper," Edward murmured against my skin before he lapped his tongue over the flesh he's just bitten. I grabbed the back of his head and arched into his mouth, unwilling to lose the sensation.

"I made an appointment to get waxed, coincidentally, at the same place you go to," I told him.

Edward sat up abruptly and looked at me with a tilted head and knitted brows. "Why," he asked, rubbing his thumb over my pubes. I kept them neat and trimmed, but it was nothing like Edward's totally smooth bod. As I tried to think of the best possible way to explain my decision, Edward pulled the thoughts right out of my head in that uncanny way of his.

"I don't mind your hair, Jasper. You know I'm just a little high maintenance," he smiled sheepishly.

"I like the way you feel though. It's all smooth skin and hard muscle. I want you to feel me that way too," I told him.

"Oh, I feel you just fine, Jasper. I feel you even after I'm gone. I feel you with every step I take, every time I sit and every time I stand," he whispered huskily as he slithered down my body to lavish the head of cock with the same attention he'd given my nipples.

The conversation ended there, but no matter what Edward said I was going to get waxed. His little spiel had confirmed it because, while I'd told him that I wanted him to feel me the way that I felt him, the real reason was that I wanted to feel him the way he felt me. After he was gone, with every step I took, every time I sat down and every time I stood up.

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><p><strong><em>And there you have it! This chapter was mainly filler but drop me a line anyway, please!<em>**


	17. Chapter 17

**_SM owns._**

**_Thanks so much to my wonderful beta, cocoalvin!_**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

Jasper was dead set on getting waxed. He was also dead set on me coming with him. He told me I needed to go with him because I knew the place and process better than him. He wanted me to be there just in case he needed my advice. We both knew that all he really had to do was drop his pants and lie on a table, but I didn't say anything. I knew that he was nervous, and if the man needed moral support, I'd be there for him. Especially since I knew how bad this was about to hurt.

His first experience with Nair had been the night before. He hated the smell, but otherwise thought it was okay. I told him that waxing wasn't going to be as painless as the hair removal cream, but he got all tough guy on me and said he could handle it. I was ready to jump out of my skin in anticipation of seeing how it would play out in reality.

"Hey, Edward! I didn't know you made an appointment for today," Claire said, coming over as Jasper and I walked into the salon.

"I didn't. I'm here with my friend Jasper," I said, gesturing to the blond beside me. Claire looked him over with hungry eyes. Jasper was beautiful, and I was used to people checking him out. Claire wasn't lacking in the looks department either. She was actually quite stunning. So naturally, Jasper was checking her out as well. I looked between them as they gave each other "the eyes" back and forth. I was intrigued but a little pissed too. I was interested in seeing how Jasper made his hook ups. Did he play everyone like he played me? Or did he have several different techniques and approaches. So far, he was going with the same way he'd tried to reel me in. He was simply looking with those bright blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper. I'm, Claire, the girl who makes Edward so handsome," she said. "You don't need much help with that though. What are you getting done today?"

I frowned trying to figure out whether her intent was to slight me, or compliment Jasper. My frown turned upside down as Jasper draped his arm over my shoulders.

"Well, I don't know about Edward, but whoever is doing me has their work cut out," Jasper chuckled.

"That would be me. I heard Edward say your name was Jasper, right?" said Caius as he joined the conversation.

I exhaled with relief. On the way here, I'd been hoping that Jasper had made his appointment with Claire because she did great work. I was glad that Caius, who was also great, was doing his treatment now though. I was sure that Claire would try to swoop in on my guy after she saw him sans underwear. I was fine with Jasper sleeping with other people, of course, as long as those people had no connection to me. There would be no such problems with Caius. He was gay but was also in a ten-year relationship. He still got all swoony and googly eyed any time his partner, Aro, came into the salon to visit or bring him lunch, so I knew that Jasper was safe with him.

"Yup! He's all yours, Caius. Good luck, Jas," I said, hurriedly pushing Jasper into Caius. Claire pouted as I grinned. Jasper started to walk with Caius but stopped after just one step. He turned back and grabbed my wrist in a death grip. "You have to come in there with me. Wh...what if he uses the wrong wax or something?" Jasper whispered, but Caius still heard. I don't _want_ to say that Jasper sounded frantic but...he sounded frantic. He had the look of a caged animal in his eyes and kept looking toward the door as if planning for an escape.

Instead of being offended that Jasper was doubting his skill, Caius just smiled at me. "First time?" he mouthed behind Jasper's back. I nodded infinitesimally, and Caius stepped forward. He placed a comforting hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"You know, Jasper's right, Edward," he said. "It never hurts to have an extra pair of eyes in there just in case I miss a spot or something."

"Alright," I said, trying to hold back my smile. It was the most unlikely thing in the world for Caius to miss a spot. "Let's go."

We all went to a back room, and Caius turned his back to us as Jasper removed his pants. He looked totally uncomfortable and freaked out as he lay back on the table. I stood over his head and ran my fingers through his hair to soothe him as Caius prepared. Jasper relaxed as Caius spread the hot wax on a small section of his pelvis only to get freaked out again as Caius smoothed on the waxing strip.

"Take deep breaths," I said, trying to be as helpful as I could. Jasper nodded frantically, and his hands flashed up to grab mine.

"On the count of three, okay?" Caius said in a soft tone. Jasper nodded again, and Caius began counting, "One!" To catch Jasper off his guard, Caius pulled on one instead of three. The terrible ripping sound was drowned out by Jasper shouting, "Son of a biotch!"

I mashed my lips together and breathed deeply through my nose to keep myself from laughing. The pain from Jasper squeezing the life out of my hands helped a bit too. Caius was putting more wax on before Jasper had even calmed down. He figured it was best to just get it all over with as quickly as possible.

"You're okay, Jasper," I said soothingly. I tried to disentangle one of my hands to rub his hair again, but he wasn't having it.

"Don't you dare let go of my fucking hand," he growled. "Don't you fucking _dare_!"

"Okay, okay," I nodded.

Caius stripped another section of hair from Jasper's nether regions, and Jasper cried out in pain again. I continued to whisper encouraging words and rub my thumbs over his knuckles. Jasper's eyes were shining with what I suspected were unshed tears even though he seemed to cope better as the process went forward. His progress was shattered though when Caius said three little words, "Turn over, Jasper."

Jasper looked at me with eyes that could break the hardest of hearts. I hated seeing him like that. I would have tried talking him out of finishing the treatment, but I knew that his pride wouldn't allow him to quit. Instead, I prayed for Caius to move faster. I leaned over Jasper and kissed his lips, cheeks, and chin before lowering my lips to his ear.

"You'll be fine. I'm right here with you," I told him.

He leaned up to kiss me one more time before letting my hands go and rolling over. Once he was settled on his stomach, he reached for my hands again. I laced our fingers and lowered myself down to my knees to put us at eye level. I kept up a steady stream of soothing kisses all over his face. Jasper grew steadily tenser as Caius got closer to waxing his ass. He whimpered as Caius smoothed on the strip then let out a wail that Mariah Carey couldn't even dream of duplicating as Caius tore it away.

I grimaced, knowing just how much that bit hurt. You never got used to that one. Jasper buried his face in the waxing table and murmured what sounded like, "You better be fucking worth this."

"Jasper, I told you I don't mind your hair!"

Caius tore away another strip, and Jasper growled ferociously. "Just shut up, Cullen!"

_**Jasper**_

"I can't believe I actually paid to be tortured like that!" I grumbled as Edward and I walked to my car. "It's okay though because I'm never doing that shit again!"

"I thought it went well!" Edward protested.

"Because you are a fucking masochist apparently!"

I sat down gingerly in the driver's seat even though it didn't hurt anymore and wasn't even sore. Edward got into the car and pulled at the waistband of my sweats. He leaned over to look at my bare crotch, and I looked in my pants as well, unable to stop myself. I couldn't help my smile either. It looked just as sexy as I thought it would. Edward clearly liked it too. It made me very sad that we wouldn't be having sex until the next day. After all that pain, I really wanted to feel good. I sighed heavily, letting go of that dream and starting the car.

"Hey, don't you live close by?" I asked, glancing at Edward.

"Um, like ten minutes from here."

"I've never been to your place," I said.

He nodded but didn't say anything else. I kept glancing at him until we reached a red light at the corner where I full on stared at him. He felt my insistent gaze and looked over at me with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"Can we go to your apartment, Edward?" I said very slowly as if talking to a person who'd just learned English. I mean what the hell? Weren't my previous questions obviously indicative of the fact that I wanted to go to his place?

"You want to?" he asked, seeming no less confused.

"Yes!"

"Oh."

I watched his face go from confused, to thoughtful, to bitter and enraged, before eventually becoming exasperated. "You can just stay on Michigan and then make a right at Roosevelt," Edward instructed.

He seemed really annoyed, and I immediately got irritated as well. It had recently come to my attention just how much Edward knew about me, and how little I knew about him. I didn't want him to give me his social security number or anything. I just wanted to see where the fuck he slept at night. I knew that I was being unfair considering just how much more open Edward had become over the last few weeks, so I held my tongue. Instead of making my annoyance known, I just started driving in the direction of my house.

Despite the painful waxing experience, the day had been pretty great, and I didn't want to ruin it. Edward had been so gentle when I was screaming like a little girl. I knew that he'd wanted to laugh at first, but when he saw how much pain I was in, he'd sobered up fast. I doubt anything could banish that pain entirely, but everything he did soothed me in some way. I never thought it could be possible to be in agony, feel like a pussy, and also feel completely safe and cared for all at the same time. It had been unsettling then, but the after effects left me feeling giddy. I didn't want my buzz to be killed by a grumpy Edward who felt like I had no right to invade his home.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked when he realized we weren't heading in the direction he'd told me.

"Clearly, you don't want me at your apartment. We don't have to go, Edward. I was just curious," I said with a shrug, striving for nonchalance.

"No, Jasper, I'm sorry!" Edward exclaimed. "I'm just mad at myself. I was surprised when you said you wanted to come over. My last boyfriend hated coming to my apartment, and I don't know... I guess I assumed you didn't want to come over either. Since I've known you, we've always gone to your place. I shouldn't have assumed you were anything like Royce. That's a bigger insult than you could ever realize," he rambled, trying to explain.

I glanced over at Edward, needing to see his expression. Our relationship was precarious enough without me making Edward feel like I was butting into his life too much. From what I could tell, he seemed sincere about what he'd said. My interest was piqued by the mention of Royce though. Edward was still very tight lipped about his past lovers and especially Royce. I wasn't going to push for more information though. Edward would talk when he wanted to or more accurately _if_ he wanted to. Warily, I turned the car back in the previous direction.

"Honestly, Jasper, I don't mind."

Edward placed his hand on my knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I gave him a small smile, and the rest of the ride passed in silence that was only broken when Edward gave me more directions. When we got to his apartment complex, I was surprised to see that I'd been there plenty of times before, due to my favorite movie theater that was nestled right in the middle of the building. I never knew that was where the world's most beautiful man resided, and I had to wonder how many times we'd crossed paths before we finally met.

We parked in the underground garage and then took the elevator up to the top floor. I found myself struggling to hold on to my composure. I was really fucking excited to be at Edward's apartment. It felt like I was about to solve a mystery that I'd been agonizing over for months. It was silly, and I wanted to slap some sense into myself. When the elevator doors opened, we walked down the hall and came to a stop at the second door on the right. Edward and I were both surprised to find a note on his door. It read:

_**Where the fuck are you, Lover? I dropped by because we**__**'re all going out tonight, and I wanted you to cum ( tee hee hee) so get your ass to Cocktail tonight! BTW Esme's coming too! I've kidnapped her already, and I'll make sure she's dressed well enough to be in your presence!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Riley**_

Edward snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes before snatching the note down. I can't really explain why, but my heart began pounding super fast as I read Riley's note over Edward's shoulder. So many questions stormed my mind, and I had to, literally, bite my tongue to stop myself from asking them aloud. How come Riley had been over to Edward's apartment before me? Were Riley and Edward having sex or was Riley just really flirty? Was Edward going to go out with him tonight? Would Edward invite me if he did?

All of those questions weighed heavily on my mind, but none of them bothered me as much as one other thing. It was clear that not only had Riley met Esme but they'd already formed some sort of bond as well. I knew by the way that Edward talked about her that Esme was the most important person in his life. I'd been knowing Edward more than twice as long as Riley, yet he'd been formally introduced to her before me. That didn't sit well with me, and suddenly, I felt the need to meet both Riley and Esme.

"Are you going?" I asked Edward as he unlocked his door.

We stepped inside his place, and I was overwhelmed with a sense of being at home. Edward had obviously designed it that way. The space was so warm and inviting. The walls were painted in a shade of raw sienna, the sofa and armchairs were black leather, while the coffee and end tables along with a tall, thin bookshelf were all black wood. The rich, polished cherry wood floors were mostly covered with a huge, beige space rug in the living area and thin, billowy curtains that matched the rug outfitted the many windows. His place had plenty of natural lighting, and the evening sun poured in adding a warm glow to the already cozy atmosphere. It was the sort of place you could truly relax in, and I loved it.

"Going where?" Edward asked, closing the door behind us.

"To Cocktail with Riley and Esme."

He shrugged. "It depends on whether you and I have plans tonight."

He couldn't have given me a more perfect opening. "I wouldn't mind going to Cocktail. We can't really have sex tonight anyway. We might as well go out, dance, and have a few drinks."

He chewed his bottom lip, and his brows furrowed. He moved over toward the open kitchen and pulled two water bottles out of the fridge. "Wouldn't you rather stay in? You had a pretty rough day, and I wouldn't mind staying in. We could just get some delivery and watch a movie or something," he said.

That actually sounded awesome. If I had the choice of sharing Edward with a bar full of drunk guys or having him all to myself, the best option was obvious. Edward never turned down an opportunity to drink, and he never turned down a night of dancing. The fact that he was doing so now made me suspicious, and I wanted to meet Riley even more. What the fuck was going between them? Or was he hesitant about me meeting Esme? I instantly vetoed that notion. I'd met her in passing a couple of times before, and it just didn't make sense for him to not want us around each other.

"No way. This new wax job has me feeling a little sexy. I want to dance," I said, swiveling my hips in a way that was more comedic than sexy. Edward didn't crack a smile.

"Are you sure? Cocktail is always really crowded and—"

"Edward!" I exclaimed, cutting him off. "Go get dressed. We're going to Cocktail."

I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him my best intimidating expression. He sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He nodded a bit distractedly and turned toward a hallway without another word. He was clearly unhappy and maybe even a bit scared. I'd never taken myself for a sadist, but I enjoyed his reaction quite thoroughly.

Two hours later, Edward and I were pushing our way through a throng of dancing boys. The music was pumping, and it made the floor vibrate. The bass pulsed up into my body through my feet, and I would have loved to stop and dance with Edward. I was on a mission though. Riley and his friends had reserved a booth and were expecting us.

When we finally reached the small but rowdy group, I glanced at every face and instantly knew which one I'd been waiting to see. He was devilishly cute. He wasn't tall, but he wasn't short either. His brown hair was short and held natural highlights of sun-soaked blond. He was thin but still appeared strong. He looked young and innocent but was definitely not a twink. He carried himself with a confidence that radiated to every corner of the room. His pink lips and wide mouth were perfect for blowing cocks. His smile was brilliant, and his laugh was infectious. He had to be Riley Samuels, and with no words spoken between us, I already hated him.

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><p><em><strong>I just want to put it there that the club, Drip, that Edward usually goes to is a fictional place. The bar, Cocktail, mentioned in this chapter, however, is a real gay bar in Chicago. <strong>_

**_There isn't much in the story that gives it away, but I've been wondering do any of you know which clothing line Edward works for?_**

**_Anyhoo, there you have it, Lovelies. I know you all are just itching to click that review button, so I'll leave you to it!_**


	18. Chapter 18

_**SM owns.**_

**_Huge thanks go out to my wonderful beta, cocoalvin!_**

**_Hello Ladies and Gents! You all need to know that this chapter took on a life of its self. I had a whole plan, but somehow it got blown to pieces! _**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

Riley's eyes widened as he spotted us, and he immediately rose from his seat. He pushed Edward aside and tilted his head slightly to look me in the eye. I met his appraising stare with a blank one of my own. When he turned a quirked brow in Edward's direction, it was clear that he saw the disdain beneath my impassive expression.

"You must be Jasper," he said, turning back to me and extending his hand. "I'm Riley Samuels."

"Yeah, figures," I replied, shaking his hand. I looked over his shoulder and was met with the piercing gaze of Esme. I shuddered, feeling as if my skin was being peeled back by her eyes. I felt like everything inside me was exposed and known by this relative stranger, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. It actually terrified me. She smirked at me, her face full of knowing and self satisfaction, and then she abruptly released me from her gaze in favor of looking at Edward.

I realized that I was still shaking Riley's hand, and when I looked back at him, his expression was equal parts concerned and amused.

"Seems like you might need a drink. Have a seat," he said, nodding toward the table. "All the drinks are on me tonight."

"Thanks, but I can buy my own drinks," I replied icily, yanking my hand from his.

"Why don't I walk you to the bar then," Edward said, grabbing my hand. His grip was almost as bone crushingly tight as mine had been when I shook Riley's hand. It seemed Edward had taken notice of my less than polite introduction.

"He's a big boy, Edward," Esme spoke up. "He was observant enough to pinpoint Riley. I'm sure he can find his way to the bar."

Riley snickered while Edward turned to look at Esme. A look passed between all three of them, and it would have been obvious to anyone that they were having a conversation with only their eyes. It was like Edward and Esme had their own secret language that Riley was already well on his way to learning, and I was left out and lost in translation. I decided it really was time to hit the bar.

I found an empty stool in the corner and claimed it. I signaled rather impatiently, trying to get the bartender's attention and ordered a whiskey sour. I knew that I was in the wrong. Riley hadn't been rude to me or anything. I couldn't explain why I'd acted that way, and to be honest, I was ashamed of my behavior. I also knew that I should go back to that table and apologize, but that just wasn't going to happen. Despite knowing that I was acting like a jackass, I still couldn't make my mouth form and speak those words. I decided to just hang out away from Riley, and all his brown-eyed beauty, until I cooled down.

I didn't make my way back to the table until I was halfway through my second drink. I was surprised to see that only Esme and two other guys who, though I couldn't see, I was sure were jerking each other under the table. Remembering the look she'd given me earlier, I hesitated. I wasn't sure that I wanted to be sitting at that table alone with her. I wasn't certain that she didn't like me, but the little evidence I had surely pointed that way. Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and slid into the booth beside her. She looked up when she felt my presence and sent a smile my way.

"Where ya been?" she asked, turning in her seat and pulling her leg up beneath her in the booth.

"The bar," I replied, holding up my drink to corroborate my story. "Where's Edward?"

Esme nodded toward the dance floor. I looked over and was not surprised to find Edward and Riley dancing together. Edward looked as glorious as he always did on the dance floor. The man knew how to move his body. His leg was positioned between Riley's thighs, and they were grinding against one another slow and hard. Edward had one arm wrapped around Riley's waist, holding him close and tight, while Riley's arms were locked around Edward's neck. Their foreheads were pressed together, and they seemed utterly lost in the music...or each other.

I wanted to get up and do..._something._ I wanted to push Riley away from Edward. I wanted to grab Edward and get the fuck out of here. I thought back to his earlier proposal of a quiet night in with dinner and a movie, and it was then that I truly knew what regret felt like. I didn't want to watch Edward with another man, and if I hadn't been so stubborn, the only man that would have touched him tonight would have been me. My thoughts were interrupted when a soft and lilting voice filled my ear.

"My mom always used to tell me not to scowl because my face would get stuck that way. I never believed her until now. Your face has been like that all night," Esme said.

Even though I was pissed the fuck off, I laughed. I looked over at her and flinched from her piercing hazel stare. Her elbow was propped on the table as her chin rested in her palm. The mirth in her eyes made me think she didn't dislike me after all, but there something else in her expression that kept me second guessing.

"More alcohol will probably loosen me up," I said, polishing off my drink. Esme glanced around and signaled a waitress to bring us more drinks.

"You know, I was surprised when Edward told me about the agreement that you two have. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense though. Edward's never really been one for boundaries with his friends. We sleep in the same bed most nights, we cuddle, he lets me cop a feel or two when I'm lonely and depressed, and we dance just like that all the time," she said, nodding toward where Edward and Riley were setting the dance floor on fire.

"He's _just my friend_ though, you know? Well ,of course, you know. He's _just your friend_ too. When I see him having a good time and flirting with guys, I don't get upset or jealous because I don't have any claim on him. He's _just my friend_. All the intimate things we do are kept behind closed doors. When we're outside, I back off because I know that there might be someone around who will ultimately make him happy in a way that I can't. Because Edward is _just my friend_, I want him to have that opportunity; to love and be loved, to be taken care of, to be completely happy and satisfied in every possible way. I understand that I am incapable of giving Edward everything he needs, as I'm sure you can understand as well. And because Edward is _just our friend_, I know it would really piss us both off to see someone behaving like an asshole because Edward has other people who are special to him and want his attention. Correct?"

Her tone was conversational, but the ice in her eyes sent chills up my spine. I found myself unable to speak, but I knew that she was demanding some sort of answer or acknowledgement. I struggled to maintain eye contact and nodded my head.

"A good friend knows their place and stays in it. Now, if a friend started questioning their place and maybe felt like they wanted more, that friend had better stop pouting and actually do something about it because a few whiskey sours never really fix anything, do they?"

"No," I murmured, pushing my glass away. She pushed it back in front of me.

"Don't worry about it now, but you better remember what I said tomorrow. We're all here to have fun tonight, so drink up, Sweetface. You and I are going to dance," she said before tossing back her own drink.

I glanced at Edward and Riley on the dance floor one more time. Esme's words didn't cure my jealousy, not one bit. She'd actually made it worse. That wasn't to say her speech hadn't been effective because it was. It was extremely fucking effective. I didn't know much about her, but she knew how to get her point across. I still wasn't sure if she liked me or not, but that wasn't important right now. She'd given me a ton to think about. Like she'd said though, we were all here to have fun. I wouldn't worry about it tonight. I could see why Edward loved Esme so much. She was an amazing woman and an even better friend. I finished my drink and slid out of the booth. I stood and extended my hand to Esme.

"Come on, sugar. Let's see what you've got."

_**Edward**_

The night started just as I feared it would. Jasper was a complete jackass to Riley. I'd seen the look on Jasper's face after he'd read the note Riley had left on my door. He'd looked as if someone had spit in his mother's face. I'd decided right then that Riley and Jasper should never be in the same room together. It was disappointing because I knew that Riley and Jasper could be great friends, but honestly, I'd been leery about introducing them anyway. It was the reason that they hadn't already met.

My relationship with Riley was not the same as my relationship with Jasper, but it resembled it closely enough. Riley didn't know how to keep his hands to himself, and even though my relationship with Jasper had no rules, I still wouldn't have been comfortable kissing Riley or letting him feel me up in front of someone I frequently had sex with. I'd come a long way in accepting my new chosen lifestyle, but parts of my old self were still inside me and always would be. This was something that I was certain and proud of. I didn't want to change so much that I didn't recognize myself anymore.

I wanted to confront Jasper about his behavior, but Esme made it clear that I should just leave him be. I let him sulk away to the bar and sat down in the booth. Riley poured me two shots, insisting that I catch up with him. I waited for several long minutes, hoping that Jasper would come back and be nice to my friend. Even though I'd expected his rudeness, I was still very disappointed and saddened by it. I wanted Jasper to get along with my friends the way that I got along with Peter and Mike. Jasper and I hung out all the time, and it was really shitty knowing that we would either always be alone or with his friends.

"Edward, get out of that fucking head of yours and on the dance floor with me," Riley said, cupping his hand on the nape of my neck.

I shook my head. Riley was a great dancer, and I loved dancing with him. I didn't want to piss Jasper off anymore than he already was though. I didn't plan on pussyfooting around him the whole night, but I at least wanted to talk to him before I started dancing and flirting with other guys.

"He's a big boy," Esme sang. "Go on and dance with Riley for me. I need something new to put in my spank bank."

Riley threw his head back in an uproar of laughter. "Oh, honey, you absolutely _have_ to dance with me now," he said.

I rolled my eyes and slid out of the booth. I decided that it was Jasper's fault we were here anyway. I'd wanted to just be at home with him, lounging in my darkened living room, and watching a movie, preferably a French one packed with sex scenes. He'd wanted to come out though, and now he would have to deal with the consequences.

Once on the dance floor, I let the music take control. I lost myself in the pulsing beat and Riley's lithe body. I don't know how many songs we danced to, and I didn't care. What I did care about was seeing Jasper on the dance floor. Looking over Riley's shoulder, I saw him dancing with Esme. They were both smiling and seemed to be having a great time. My chest swelled with hope that things might be okay after all. Maybe he'd gotten a drink and calmed down. I held Riley tighter, feeling happier and even a little excited.

As the night progressed, Jasper didn't warm up to Riley one bit. He wasn't rude anymore. He simply pretended that Riley didn't exist. When we were all sitting at the table, Jasper remained quiet and sulky the whole time. He only spoke when Esme, Liam, or Sam asked him a question. He didn't speak to Riley at all or even look in his general direction. I retaliated by not speaking to Jasper or looking in his general direction. I knew that the motto was to not say anything at all if you couldn't say anything nice, but fuck that. I would have preferred Jasper to be snappy and snide all evening over watching him behave like a sullen teenager. I knew that I wasn't making anything better by copying his behavior, but I didn't care. I wanted to make my anger apparent just as much as Jasper was making his.

"You know, if all this tension was sexual, it would be a lot easier to resolve," Esme sighed before taking a sip from the neon green concoction in her glass.

Riley snorted a laugh. "Yeah, a quick trip to the bathroom, a hand under the table or a few calculated grinds on the dance floor, and everything would be fine."

"The endorphins would be flowing!" Esme giggled.

"Apparently, that's all Jasper and Edward know how to do together anyway. Maybe it is sexual tension, and everything will be resolved within five minutes."

"Oh, Jasper is legendary, Riley. I'm sure he can go longer than five minutes!"

"I don't know about Jasper's legend, but I do know about Edward's. I was being generous with the five minutes just in case he wanted to go with a nice sensual blow job instead of a straight to the point type of deal," Riley countered.

I wanted to say something to stop Esme and Riley, but I was too busy watching Jasper. His face was flaming red, and it was not from embarrassment. His fists were clenched under the table, and the heaving of his chest warned of an impending explosion. I realized that I might have been wrong about it being better for Jasper to be snappy and snide instead of silent and sulky.

"Riley, you don't know a fucking thing about Edward and me, so why don't you keep your fucking mouth closed," Jasper seethed.

Riley let out a bark of incredulous laughter. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Jasper, everyone knows everything about you and Edward. You two are fucking. That's it. There is, literally, nothing else to know. I'm confused as to why the fuck you're upset?"

Jasper settled a death glare on Riley who in turned just quirked his brow, daring Jasper to challenge his truth. They engaged in a staring contest in which Jasper lost. He shot up from his seat with a primal and enraged growl and then stormed away again, but this time he headed for the exit. I sighed, shaking my head as I watched him disappear into the crowd.

"I'm really sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to lighten the mood," Esme said.

"Why should you apologize? He had a bad attitude from the moment he walked in here. I'm glad he's gone," I replied, but even as I spoke the words, I didn't believe them. I was surprised at how my heart plummeted as I watched Jasper leave. I loved spending time with him, but he was ruining a good time for everyone else by acting like a sourpuss. That wasn't who he was though, and I was really sad, pissed off and disappointed that was the impression my friends would always have of him. I didn't know if it was the fact that Jasper wasn't here anymore or my dour mood, but I no longer felt like being out. I made excuses to my friends and got up from the booth. Riley begged me not to go, but I just wanted to go home and go to sleep.

Once I was outside the club, I took several deep breaths of the unseasonably cool night air. The breeze felt so good after breathing in all that stuffy club air, and I drove home with the windows rolled down, wanting all the fresh air I could get. After getting into bed that night, I turned the ringer on my phone all the way up. I was a heavy sleeper, and I needed to hear if Jasper called during the night. I wasn't sure if I would actually answer or not, but I just needed to be aware of the fact regardless.

Jasper didn't call that night. He didn't call the next morning. He didn't call or text during the day while I was at work. He didn't call that evening when I got home. He did come over after I finished my dinner though.

I was shocked when I looked through the peephole and saw him standing on the other side of the door. Somehow, I'd forgotten that he'd been over the day before and, therefore, knew where I lived. When I saw his blond hair and dazzling face distorted through the glass of the peephole, I didn't even think. I just wrenched the door open.

He had the sense to look sheepish as he glanced at me before directing his gaze back toward the floor. He stuffed his hands in the back pockets of his jeans, and I couldn't help but notice that they were one of the pair I'd picked out for him when he'd shopped at the store where I worked. That made me irrationally happy. I bit my lip to hide my smile though.

"May I please come in?" Jasper asked, risking another glance at my face.

"What do you want?"

"I want to see you. I want to apologize. I want to make up for last night; stay in watch a movie and order some delivery like you originally wanted."

I thought about telling him that I'd already eaten dinner and slam the door in his face just for the sake of being an asshole. As I looked into his blue eyes, I knew I'd never be able to do it though. I glanced back to make sure that no traces of my dinner lingered on the kitchen counters or the stove. Dubbing the place all clear, I stepped aside and opened the door wider.

"Is Chinese okay?"

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><p><em><strong>I have exciting news, Chickadees! "Tell Me What You Want" has been nominted for three Twifestival awards! GAAAHHHHHHH! I'm so frigging honored, and I want to say thank you to all my readers who nominated me. I've been nominated for:<strong>_

_**The Best Jasper**_

_**The Best Supporting Character (Esme)**_

_**Best Work In-Progress**_

_**The amazing cocoalvin has been nominated as well in the category of best beta. If you could see these chapters before she gets to them, you would truly understand just how she deserves that award. Not to mention the fact that she juggles me, several other authors, and still writes her own stories! **_

_**If you feel so inclined, please go vote for cocoalvin and I! You check other nominees as well here: thetwifestivals(dot)blogspot(dot)com**_

**_Now, go ahead and click that review button for me!_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**SM owns.**_

**_Huge thanks goes out to my awesome and super speedy beta, cocoalvin!_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

I sat on the couch and watched Jasper move around my apartment like it was his own home. That shouldn't have surprised me because, for some reason, people always took the saying "make yourself at home" to heart when they came to my place. I was never really bothered by it until the person doing it was Jasper. Honestly, I wasn't upset that Jasper had answered the door for the Chinese delivery guy, went into my fridge, or that he was currently rummaging through my vast collection of DVDs, all without asking my permission first. It just gave me a funny feeling; a fluttering in my stomach and a tightening in my chest.

"What are you in the mood for? Comedy? Drama? Action?"

"Comedy," I said with a shrug.

He nodded his head and selected _The Wedding Singer_. I nodded my head in agreement when he held it up to me before putting it in the player. I didn't really care what he put on because something told me that we wouldn't really watch it. I grabbed the shrimp fried rice I'd ordered and a pair of chop sticks as Jasper went over to kill the lights before joining me on the couch. He was sitting so close to me, and I could feel his warmth and smell his body wash. I couldn't explain why, but his presence filled me with thrilling nervousness. I felt like I was a teenager, sneaking my boyfriend into my room after my parents had gone to sleep or something. I ducked my head and hoped that Jasper wouldn't see the blush inflaming my cheeks. I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I was so happy that he was here.

"I really am sorry about how I acted last night."

We hadn't even made it past the opening credits. I didn't mind though. I preferred getting all the uncomfortable crap out of the way as quickly as possible. I wasn't one for letting things fester.

"Are you really though? Part of me feels like you wanted to go to Cocktail for the specific purpose of being mean to Riley," I told him.

I realized that Jasper could definitely see my blush because I could see his very clearly. "Why would you think that?" he mumbled into his Mongolian Beef.

"Don't do that," I sighed. One thing I didn't put up with was people trying to pretend like they didn't know what I was talking about when they obviously did. It just irritated my very soul. Jasper groaned in frustration and set his food aside.

"I didn't go there with the intent of being an asshole. I was just really curious to meet him and Esme. You've known him for all of two weeks, and it just seems like he's a lot closer to you than I am. Then, when I actually saw him, I was just...jealous."

He spoke the last word so quietly I wasn't even sure I'd heard him correctly. I was going to ask him to speak louder, but I didn't get the chance. He wasn't done talking.

"When he said that stuff about there being nothing else to know about our relationship besides the sex, it hit a little too close to home. That's why I was jealous of him in the first place. There's more going on with you and Riley," he continued.

My heart squeezed in my chest, and any anger that I might have had toward Jasper dissipated. I didn't know if I was more flattered, amused, or endeared. I put my food aside and slid closer to him. I lifted his chin until he was looking me in the eyes. His bright blue irises gleamed eerily in the darkened room with only the light from the TV screen to illuminate them. It was sexy in a weird way, and I had to remind myself to stay focused.

"Jasper, when I agreed to have this no strings attached relationship with you, I was taking a leap of faith. I had no idea whether I would be able to actually do it or if I would even like it. I just knew that I needed to make a change in my life. This was all really hard for me in the beginning, and I had to make sure there was plenty of distance between us. I didn't want to get confused with what I was used to in committed relationships and what we have going. I still have to be careful, but it's a lot easier now.

"I can actually differentiate between having a boyfriend and having a friend that I can call when I'm horny. I wasn't able to do that until after I met Riley. I met you before him, but I was a lot more comfortable around him because there was nothing to confuse me with him. With you, it worked differently, and that's why it's taken me a bit longer to open up to you and embrace the friendship we can have as well as the sex. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

It took him a while, but he eventually nodded his head. I could tell from the look of consternation on his face that there were still things he needed to process and work through, so I stayed quiet, giving him some time to do exactly that.

"It doesn't seem like it's just friendship between you and Riley though. He touches you, kisses, and flirts like you two are sleeping together," he whispered, lowering his eyes again.

"We aren't. We do make out, but that's it. Riley has no understanding of boundaries, personal space, or social rules of behavior. He lives in Riley's World and plays by Riley's Rules. I indulge him because he's a great kisser," I said with a shrug and a teasing smile.

Jasper heaved a sigh of relief and nodded his head. He slumped in his seat and looked over at me with puppy-dog eyes. It was a look I'd received from his sister plenty of times before. I could resist her with hardly any effort, but it was proving to be a tad more difficult with her brother. I assumed it had something to do with the fact that he had a glorious cock I frequently sat on.

"Are you still mad at me? I really am sorry."

I smiled and moved over to straddle his lap. I leaned in and captured his mouth in a slow but eager kiss. "I'm not mad," I murmured against his soft lips. I felt him smile before pushing his fingers into my hair and bringing my face back to his. I tilted my head and immediately deepened the kiss. Having his lips against mine always ignited something inside me. Kissing Jasper made me feel like every cell of my body was being set ablaze. My skin tingled, heart thrummed, and chest heaved with bated breath. My senses were never as awakened, my body never more alive, than when I was kissing or touching Jasper.

Suddenly, I pulled away from him and stood on my feet. Before he could voice his confusion, I grabbed his hand and yanked him up with me.

"Bedroom," was all I said by way of explanation.

The instant we crossed the threshold Jasper had his arms around my waist. His hands efficiently undid my belt buckle and button fly. His lips and tongue lavished my neck, making me moan and writhe against him. I could feel his erection as I pushed my ass back into him. He growled out his pleasure and nipped at my skin. He pushed my jeans and underwear down together, and once they were at my ankles, I kicked them off and away. He lifted my shirt off and then pushed me down on the bed, and I fell onto my back and bounced twice. My hand found my aching cock, and I gripped myself tightly, needing to feel something.

"Hurry, Jasper," I moaned, thrusting into my fist.

He watched my every move with the hunger of a starved man in his eyes. Despite what seemed like single-minded focus on my cock, Jasper shed his clothes swiftly before joining me on the bed. Instead of climbing on top of me like I thought he would, he lay beside me and then pulled me on top of him. I felt myself growing impossibly harder, thinking that Jasper wanted me to ride him tonight. I loved riding because it made me feel powerful as I sat astride him, impaling myself on his dick with him lying prone beneath me.

I opened my legs to straddle him, and rubbed my bare cock along his. I watched in fascination as Jasper's head dug deep into the pillow, and his mouth opened to release a deep groan. His hands roamed all over my body, and I never wanted him to stop. I ducked my head to kiss his exposed throat and sucked gently at his Adam's apple. Jasper's fingers pressed harder into my skin, and I knew that the prints would mark my ass for days to come. Just the thought made me unbearably horny, and I wanted him inside me.

Usually, I was all about foreplay but not this time. I'd realized that I fucking hated fighting with Jasper. This relationship was supposed to be all about ease and pleasure. After all the complication over the past two days, I just wanted to get us back to where we were supposed to be. I reached over to my bedside table and fumbled around until I found what we needed. I threaded my fingers through Jasper's hair and tilted his head so that I could kiss him deeply, licking and tasting every bit of his warm mouth. I rutted against him as I pushed the lube into his hand.

"Get me ready, baby," I said, not taking my lips away from his.

Jasper's already heavy breathing picked up even more. He was almost hyperventilating, and I pulled back to look into his slightly panic-stricken eyes.

"Jasper?"

He took a deep, calming breath and pushed the lube back into my hand. "No. You get me ready."

For about ten seconds, I was genuinely confused. I didn't know what he needed to be ready for. I could have lubed his dick for him, but it just made sense to do that after I'd been prepped. I replayed his words over and over in my head, and then other images and memories helped me to understand. Jasper had gotten a Brazilian wax. While getting the aforementioned wax, he'd said, 'You better be worth this.' He me pulled on _top. _He was giving me the lube and wanted _me_ to get _him_ ready.

My breath caught in my chest, and my dick twitched. Jasper must have seen the understanding light my eyes because he nodded his head and wrapped his arms tighter around me. He lifted his head to lock my lips in a sweltering kiss. I wanted to kiss him back, but my brain was too preoccupied to give the rest of my body any sort of instruction. When I didn't respond, Jasper leaned back to look me in the eye.

"What's wrong?"

I could hear the fear, nervousness, and rejection in his voice. My stupor was making him think that I didn't want to top him, and that wasn't the case at all. I opened my mouth to reassure him, but it was too dry to speak. When words finally did come out, they were hoarse and barely audible.

"Have you ever bottomed before?" I asked.

He smirked sheepishly and nodded his head. "Once before and I hated it. I swore I'd never do it again, but every time I watch you dance—the way you move your hips—it makes me change my mind. I know you'll fuck me well," he whispered huskily.

The semi-paralysis I'd suffered just seconds before was overshadowed by the anxiety that began wreaking havoc over my body and mind. I knew that it was easy as hell to screw up someone's first receptive experience, so I wasn't exactly shocked by Jasper's confession. I was pissed-the-fuck-off that someone had been careless with him, worried that I would hurt him too, and fearful that I wouldn't live up to the, apparently, outstanding expectations Jasper had.

What was bothering me more than any of that was the trust Jasper was putting in me. To have vowed to never bottom again and then break the promise he'd made on account of me, indicated something I couldn't even comprehend. Of course, I'd topped before. I fucking loved it and was very confident in my prowess in that area, in all areas of sex actually, but there was just something about it being with Jasper that made this moment so much more important, special monumental even. I wanted to top Jasper, but I needed him to be sure. I needed to _be_ assured.

"Have you ever topped before? Do you want to?"

I rolled to lie beside him as he shifted to face me. His hands never left my skin though. They ran long my thighs, hips, and side. He fingered the ripples in my abs, the veiny ridges of my hard cock, and the sensitive skin of my balls. I gasped and shuddered against his teasing and feathering touches. I didn't know if he was trying to egg me on or not, but if he was, it was definitely working. Lust and need were starting to stamp out everything else in my mind. If he didn't stop touching me soon, I wouldn't have any control over my body or actions.

"Damn, Jasper!" I groaned, grabbing his wrist to still his hand. "Yes, I've topped before, and yes, I want to now. I just...don't want you to regret this later. I feel like this is a big deal."

"I won't regret it, Edward. I fucking got waxed in preparation for this. If I were going to change my mind, it would have been then. I trust you, and I want to feel you in that way. Inside me."

Looking into his baby blue eyes, there was no way I could doubt his sincerity. Not only could I tell that he wanted it, but that he wanted it _bad_. I would even go as far as saying that he needed it. I placed another gentle kiss on his lips before rearing back to sit on my calves. I surveyed Jasper's lean yet muscular body and stroked my cock as the tip leaked in earnest. He truly was beautiful, and I wanted to worship his body properly. I ran my hands up and down his thighs, caressing them gently before grabbing hold and lifting his ass off the bed. Jasper gasped loudly in shock as I set his thighs on my shoulders, leaving only his head and shoulders to rest on the bed. He eyed me in confusion, but his lids slid shut as I snaked my tongue out to lick the crease where his thighs met his pelvis.

I could smell his arousal, and it was all I could do not to take that long, thick cock into my mouth. I wanted to tease him a bit, work him into a frenzy before I fucked him senseless. He'd gotten waxed for this, and I was going to show him how sensitized skin became without the fine barrier of body hair. I licked and sucked the smooth, hairless skin on each side of his cock hungrily. Jasper's body writhed as I feasted on the sensitive area, and I knew that putting my mouth that close to his erection without paying it any attention was driving him insane. Eventually, his impatience got the best of him, and he reached to take his cock into his own hand. I quickly swatted it away and pinned his wrist to the bed to prevent him from trying again.

"Edward, please!" he groaned as his hips bucked in mid air. The frustration in his voice was music to my ears, and I sucked one of his balls into my mouth and swirled my tongue around it.

"Yes!" he hissed. "More!"

I let his ball fall from my mouth and left the other completely neglected. I tilted my head and gently bit his taint. He moaned loudly and fisted his hands in the sheets at his sides. I wanted to see the pleasure on his face but decided it could wait. Instead, I plunged my tongue downward as I used both hands to open his cheeks. I swirled my tongue insistently until it was inside his tight, pink hole.

"Jesus, fuck, Edward!"

He pressed his heels into my back, trying to pull me closer, and I pressed my face forward, wanting more as well. He tasted so fucking good, all salt, musk and Jasper. I pressed my lips to his puckered ring, sucking at it while my tongue worked him from the inside. I moaned as his tightness quivered and sucked right back at my tongue.

"That feels so fucking good, Edward. Please, don't stop. Never stop, baby. Never!"

Jasper's loud moans turned me on so fucking much that I thought I might come right then and there. My cock was hard, and my need to be inside him was almost too great to stave off for another second. I let go of one of Jasper's cheeks and angled my head to keep my mouth on his hole. I reached down to the bed and performed single handed gymnastics to cover my fingers with lube. When they were all slick, I pushed one of Jasper's thighs down and shrugged off the other. I scooted down the bed and quickly pushed two wet fingers inside him while simultaneously taking his full length into my throat.

"Fuck! God damn it, Edward!"

His body convulsed uncontrollably as he tried to thrust into my mouth and push back onto my hand. I eased off his dick, taking a deep breath through my nose and sucked at the tip. I pushed my tongue into the slit, wanting every single drop of his salty pre-come. He shuddered and tensed as I slid a third finger into his cavity. I ran my hand up his stomach to tweak his nipples as I took him deep again, trying to elevate his pleasure and take his mind off the sting. I worked my fingers inside slowly and bobbed my head on his cock. I knew that I was doing my job well when his hands slid into my hair and massaged my scalp. I moaned in approval and curled my fingers inside him, searching for the sweet spot.

"Fuck, yeah! Do that again, Edward, please!"

I smiled around his member and did as I was told. I reached for the condom when he was rocking his ass back onto my hand more than he was thrusting into my mouth. I released his cock from my mouth, and Jasper didn't seem to notice. I quickly tore the wrapper with my teeth and rolled the thin latex onto my throbbing cock with one hand before glazing the sheath with lube. When I was good and ready to go, I slowly pulled my fingers from Jasper's ass.

"No!" he whimpered in protest, and I smiled smugly before flipping him onto his stomach. He quickly caught on to what was happening and clambered up onto his hands and knees.

I stroked my cock with one hand and placed the other on Jasper's lower back. I pushed him down until his knees were spread so wide his balls were grazing the bed, and he lowered his upper body by resting on his forearms. I sidled up behind him and covered his body with mine, my stomach to his back. He turned his head toward me and devoured my lips in a bruising kiss. I moaned into his mouth and slid my hand down his arm to lace our fingers together.

"Fuck me now, Edward. I want it so bad, baby! I need your cock inside me!"

I reached between us and lined myself up with his body. When the head of my cock was positioned just right, I reached around to take his erection in my hand. I pumped his rod slowly while pushing my hips forward. Despite all the preparations, I was still met with slight resistance. Jasper's body tensed, and he hissed as the tip of my dick popped inside him.

I sucked in a ragged breath as his tight hole strangled my swollen cock. He was so fucking tight and hot, and all I wanted to do was bury myself as deep as I could. The only thing that kept me grounded was the fierce grip Jasper had on my hand. That desperate clutch and his rigid body let me know that he was feeling more of the burning stretch than anything else.

"Just relax for me, sweetie," I whispered in his ear. "Trust me to make it good for you."

He nodded his head, but I could see that his eyes were still shut tight as if in pain. "God, that's a big cock. Feels like you're splitting me in half!"

"Shhh. I've got you."

I claimed his lips in a deep, tender kiss and waited until his body was loose and pliant beneath me before I started easing inside him again. He gasped against my mouth, stealing my breath for himself but didn't tense up again. We both cried out as my hips met his ass, and I was fully seated inside him. I waited until he adjusted to my girth and depth before I began slowly rolling my hips in small circles and thrusting back and forth. Jasper whimpered feebly and clutched the bed clothes as he took my cock.

My entire body trembled as I struggled to take it slow with him. His tight heat was making me crazy, and I needed to plow into his ass hard and fast. When Jasper finally moaned and rocked his ass onto my cock, I nearly wept with joy.

"I'm ready. Fuck me, Edward."

I pulled out and slammed all the way back in. "Fuck, yeah!" Jasper yelled.

And with that, I took off. I alternated hammering my dick into his sweet ass with stroking into him nice and slow. I made him shout my name and moan in total bliss. I could feel my release beginning to coil deep in my abdomen, and judging by the way Jasper was shaking beneath me, I knew that he was close too. Again, he tried to push his free hand under his body to touch himself, but I wouldn't allow it. I wanted him to come from my dick alone, and I knew that I could pull it off.

"Please, Edward! I need to come. Just let me come, please," he begged.

"Oh, you will, Jas. You will," I promised.

I forced his knees wider until he was flat on his stomach and pinned his hands to the mattress on either side of his head. I sat up, placing my knees above Jasper's spread thighs for more leverage and angled my hips. I pushed slowly into his ass to see if I was where I needed to be.

"Oh, God, yes!"

With Jasper's confirmation, I pistoned my hips and drilled him into the bed, slamming his prostate with the head of my cock with every thrust. Jasper just about lost his mind. He thrashed against my hold, but I held strong. His voice was hoarse and raw as he cried out my name.

"Oh! Oh! Edward, I'm going to come! Oh, my God, I'm going to fucking come!"

I could hear the surprise in his voice, and it only made me fuck him harder. I was hot as hell and sweat dripped down my body, but I kept going. I was too close to my own climax to stop or even slow down. Jasper had been loud all the while I fucked him, but he fell completely silent when his release seized him. He shuddered violently, nearly cracking the bones as he gripped my hands. His ass clamped around my dick hard, accompanied with pulsating heat. His body pulled my own orgasm forward, and my hips snapped into him one more time before I exploded, and stream after stream of hot come filled the condom. Jasper let out a tiny whining squeak as his orgasm seemed to go on forever.

When the tremors inside him finally calmed, and I was too weak to hold myself up anymore, I collapsed on top of the golden blond. Our chest heaved as loud ragged breaths were forced from our mouths. Not wanting to crush him or create any unnecessary soreness, I pulled out and rolled onto the bed beside him. I removed the condom and folded it into a tissue from my nightstand before using my stash of Cottonelle wipes to clean up a bit. When I was done, Jasper hooked his leg over my waist, and I stroked his smooth skin mindlessly as I caught my breath. When I could breathe easily again, I moved to get out of the bed, but Jasper put a stop to that. He clamped down on the thigh that was over my hips and wrapped a restraining arm over my chest.

"Edward, where are you going?" he asked with a glint of anger in his eyes. I was stunned by the sudden surge of emotion and mentally grappled for a response. Somehow, I knew that saying I just needed to get away from him would only make things worse, so I just averted my eyes and stayed quiet.

"Please, just for this one fucking night, stay with me. We're in your bed for Christ's sake! Your apartment! There's nowhere for you to go, nowhere to run. Let me hold you. I just want to fall asleep and wake up with you this one time. Is that too much to ask?"

Pure fear spiraled up my spine, but the pleading look in Jasper's eyes made me ignore it. With shaking hands, I gripped his thigh and pulled him closer to me. I gulped down the lump in my throat and wrapped my arms around his body. He'd grown cold after his sweat cooled, and I pulled the covers up to help warm the both of us. He sighed in content and nestled his face in the crook of my neck. As he burrowed into my embrace, a magnificent feeling of safety, tranquility, and bliss consumed me, and I fell asleep, feeling utterly terrified.

Things only got better and worse the next morning. Before I even opened my eyes, I felt this overwhelming happiness that made me smile. I was wrapped in a cocoon of warm muscle and man, and as my eyes fluttered open, I was greeted with the most heavenly of sights. The sun poured into my bedroom perfectly and cast a glow over Jasper's tanned skin and golden hair. He looked like a divine being, and I snuggled closer, wanting to be as near to his grace as possible. My tiny movement stirred him, and then there were aquatic eyes, burning with passion and determination as they pierced through me

As we held each other's gaze, a familiar feeling took root in my stomach. It filled me with hope and despair, joy and fear, longing and dread. Jasper pulled me into his chest just before I felt my face crumple. He cupped the back of my head and massaged the nape of my neck.

"I hated seeing you with him. I don't think I'd like seeing you with anyone, and I feel like I have to apologize to you for that. I thought that since you were a commitment type of guy that I'd have you all to myself. I just assumed that you wouldn't see or sleep with anyone else while still being okay with me doing whatever I wanted. That day at the coffee shop when you actually told me about Liam and Riley, I was perfectly fine, but hearing something is very different from seeing it. I don't want to see you with him or anyone else, Edward."

I bit my lip to stifle my whimper and held him tighter to me, fearing that I would soon have to let him go. I couldn't handle looking at his face, so I kept mine buried in his chest.

"No rules. No complications. No commitment. That was your mandate. That's how you wanted it. That is, now, how I like it. How I need it. We work this way. Don't fuck it up."

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><p><em><strong>Well there you have it, Lovelies! Now mosey on down and click that review button!<strong>_


	20. Chapter 20

_**SM owns.**_

_**Many thanks to my beta, cocoalvin!**_

**_Before you guys get into this chapter, I wanted to clear up a little misunderstanding from the last one. Many of you were under the impression that Jasper asked Edward to be exclusive, but that's not what he said. Jasper said that he didn't want to see Edward with anyone else. He didn't say anything that indicated that he wouldn't be seeing anyone else either. I hope that clears up some of the worries you guys had!_**

**_Enjoy..._**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

There was more that I wanted to say, but after Edward's response, I didn't really see the point. I rolled away from him and headed toward the bathroom.

"I'm going to shower, okay?" I called over my shoulder.

I heard the sheets ruffle and was afraid that he was coming after me. My fears were confirmed when I felt his arms wrap around my waist, and I stiffened my body to let him know that his presence was unwelcome. I just needed ten minutes to get my shit together before I was in the same room with him again.

Sleeping the whole night with Edward had been just as amazing as I thought it would be. When I woke to those dazzling green orbs looking at me as if I were the eighth wonder of the world, I'd decided that I wanted to be honest with him about Riley. His reply hadn't been encouraging for more conversation though. I wasn't angry with him or anything, but I was embarrassed and frustrated. Fortunately, Edward caught on to my need for a little space, and he kissed my shoulder before giving my waist a quick squeeze.

"Go ahead," he said. "I'm going to make a little breakfast."

I nodded my head in acknowledgement of his words and then closed the bathroom door behind me after he'd gone. I turned on the shower and adjusted the water temperature to my liking before stepping under the spray. I sighed, letting the wet warmth sooth me until all the tension was gone from my shoulders. Once my body was relaxed, I started to untangle the mess in my head as I lathered up.

Before even contemplating Edward's words, I needed to think about the motivations behind my own. Telling Edward that I didn't want him with anyone else was downright possessive. I'd never been a possessive person, but all of a sudden, I was. I wanted Edward all to myself, and I didn't want other men touching him. I didn't want them looking at him, dancing with him, kissing him, and I definitely didn't want anyone else having sex with him. With all of that in mind, I had to consider the possibility that I might actually like Edward. As in, _like_ like him.

If that was the case, then something in me had to be changing. My imagination must have been in overdrive because I thought I could actually feel something in my chest shifting, swelling, and reshaping. It was absurd, but I placed my palms over the left side of the chest as a smile slowly spread across my face. That smile was fleeting though because Edward's words were now starting to take prevalence in my mind. If something in me was changing, then something in Edward had to be changing as well. The Edward I knew from a couple months ago would have never said what he said this morning. He'd told me that he _needed_ to keep our relationship the way it was with no rules or commitment, and that statement went against almost everything he believed in.

I could honestly say that Edward was the cause of whatever change of heart I was experiencing, but I wasn't so sure that I could give myself credit for the change in Edward. I'd introduced him to the wonders of a relationship without rules, but his saying that it was now a necessity for him bothered me. I _loved_ my freedom, but it wasn't the blood in my veins or the air in my lungs. I couldn't say for sure, of course, but I really felt like I was missing something. I definitely needed to talk with Edward more, but I couldn't deal with any more rejection this morning and decided to just shelf all the questions for another time.

I got out of the shower, went into Edward's walk-in closet, and snorted a laugh. The damned thing was jam-packed, and after a quick perusal, I realized I wasn't going to find any lounging clothes in there. I went over to his dresser drawers instead, and it was there that I found sweats and a t-shirt to wear. After I was dressed, I went out into the kitchen where I found Edward cutting up all sorts of fruit and bobbing his head to music streaming from his iPod dock. By the darker tint of his hair and slightly flushed skin, I knew that he'd showered as well, probably in the guest bath. He looked up and smiled when he heard me approaching, and as beautiful as it was, his smile was filled with nerves and apprehension.

"Are we okay?" he asked.

"Better than," I nodded, not knowing whether that was a lie or not. I shifted my eyes away from his as I moved to sit on a kitchen stool across from where he stood. I could feel him watching me though, and his eyes were like white-hot laser beams on my face. I knew that he was probably looking for signs that my words were false, so I tried to be the picture of sincerity and nonchalance.

"That's a lot of fruit, Cullen," I said, nodding toward the array of sliced pineapple, berries, melons, oranges, grapes, peaches and pears.

"I like to eat a lot of fruit. Makes my jizz sweeter," he said with a sheepish smirk and shrug.

"Really?"

"Really."

I couldn't remember the last time I'd swallowed for someone other than Edward, but that didn't matter. I loved the way he tasted, and just knowing that he put extra effort into making his cum taste better—whether it was for my enjoyment or not—turned me on. I decided the man needed to be rewarded, and I was off the stool, around the island, and on my knees before him in the blink of an eye. Edward gasped as I yanked his pants down and took his already semi-hard cock into my mouth. He groaned loudly and had to lean forward and grasp the counter to steady himself.

I'd been fast getting over to Edward, but I wasn't fast enough getting away from him. One second we were alone in his kitchen and the next we weren't. I didn't even have time to pull my mouth off him before the screams filled my ears.

"Edward, the carnival's—"

"NO! GOD, WHY?"

I looked over just in time to see Esme catch my baby sister before she fell onto the floor. Rosalie was clawing at her eyes and screaming bloody murder as Esme dragged her back toward the door.

"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" Esme chanted as she left the apartment.

"Oh, no!" I groaned, keeling over and covering my face in shame as Edward doubled over with uncontrollable laughter.

"It's not fucking funny! She's going to be traumatized!" I exclaimed angrily before sending my foot into his shin. He cried out in pain, but his laughter never stopped. Esme must have left the door open because I could still hear Rose wailing.

"It's burned into my brain! What crimes against God have I committed to deserve this? Is it because I haven't gone to Mass in two years? Dear Lord, I'm sorry!" my sister sobbed.

I gave Edward my iciest glare, and he just kept laughing like the asshole he was. "Don't you lock your fucking door? Aren't you afraid of home invasions and burglars?"

He nodded his head as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Es...Esme has a...a key!" he managed through his cackling.

I rolled my eyes and started to get up from the floor. Edward and Esme were way too fucking close. They already spent every waking hour together. Did they really need total access to each other's apartments?

Edward took deep breaths to calm himself down and straightened his clothes. He finally gave me an apologetic smile before pulling me into his embrace. He kissed my cheek and then turned his lips to my ear. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed," he said.

"Yeah, let's just go see if she's okay," I huffed.

We left Edward's place and went into Esme's. Despite living in the same building and on the same floor, Esme's apartment was a lot bigger than Edward's. His place had the cozy feeling of a warm home, but hers was an _actual_ warm home. It shocked me that it wasn't until I saw her place that I realized all the things his lacked. She had pictures of her family and friends everywhere. There were small personal little trinkets all around that seemed to be odes to her personality and unique style. It wasn't as immaculate as Edward's either. She had a throw rumpled on the couch as if she'd just finished using it. The case of the last movie she'd watched lay in the middle of her coffee table, and I could see a wine glass in the sink with the empty wine bottle resting on the counter beside it.

Her apartment was well lived in and all her own. Edward's was just decorated to have the same affect. It was like a showroom constructed to lure in customers at luxury furniture boutiques or a mock-up drawn by an interior designer. It was all clever color choices and lighting; just the suggestion of a home.

My sister had just witnessed me sucking off her best friend and was currently having a melt down, but all I could feel was sympathy for Edward as I realized there was an emptiness inside him. He hid it well, but slowly, I was starting to see through the facade and over his protective walls. My eyes moved from my sister to the man with his arm around her, trying to calm her down. He needed something. I didn't know what it was, but I wanted more than anything to give it to him.

"Lessons have been learned," Esme said solemnly, looking between Edward and I. "I'll never use the key without knocking first. I'm really sorry, Jasper," she continued.

I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest. "It's fine. You didn't know," I replied, trying to be understanding.

"It is not fine!" Rosalie snapped. "You are paying for my therapy!" she exclaimed, jabbing a finger at me.

"Me? No one asked you to barge in there! Don't you guys have any respect for Edward's fucking privacy?" I retorted. Both Esme and Rosalie blushed and ducked their heads in shame.

"We just wanted to tell him that the carnival starts today," Esme mumbled like a repentant child with a pout on her lips and watery eyes. I couldn't believe my ears. That was the huge fucking news that they couldn't wait for Edward to open the door himself before they came in? Rose must have caught my expression and rushed to explain and defend.

"Edward loves the carnival! He is the master at carnival games! We always go together and he wins giant ass teddy bears for us every time! You are the one impeding tradition, Hale!" Rose said, tipping her nose in the air. She looked just like our mother whenever Mom was trying to win an argument she'd already lost. I smiled despite myself and shook my head. I glanced at Edward, and the rest of my anger and annoyance melted away. There was a light in his eyes that made me excited. I was so happy to see him happy.

"The carnival is in town?" he asked. Esme and Rosalie nodded enthusiastically and Edward shot to his feet. "I can be ready in half hour."

Without another word spoken, Edward grabbed my hand and led me out of Esme's apartment. Back at his place, he tossed all the fruit he'd cut up into a big bowl and tossed it in the fridge.

"You're coming, right?" he asked.

"To the carnival?"

"Yeah."

"Sure."

I hadn't been to a carnival since I was in high school, but seeing how stoked Edward was, I was suddenly eager to get there. I needed the opportunity to just be with him, having fun and a few laughs. Edward loaned me some of his clothes since I didn't have anything there besides the clothes I'd worn the day before. I could have gone back to my place to grab something of my own, but Edward said that would waste too much time. He really was excited about this damned carnival, and an hour later, Esme, Rosalie, Edward and I were standing at a Skeeball booth as the game operator handed a giant-ass purple bear to Esme.

The girls started walking over to where Emmett sat at a little table, wolfing down his third funnel cake. I turned to follow after them, but Edward grabbed my wrist. I looked back at him, and his impish, crooked smirk was pointed in my direction. He was gorgeous.

"Don't you want a bear?" he asked, causing my eyes to widened in surprise.

"What?"

"Come on, Jas. Let me win a bear for you."

Now, if it was one thing I never doubted, it was my manhood. That all changed when butterflies swarmed my stomach, a smile as wide as the Atlantic spread across my face, and pink blush painted my dimpled cheeks at the mention of Edward winning an over-sized cotton ball for me. I really should have been ashamed of the way I was inwardly jumping up and down, squealing, and clapping my hands, but I wasn't. This whole scenario was such clichéd romance, but I felt like this was exactly what Edward and I needed.

I crossed my arms over my chest and widened my stance. I was overcompensating for my girly reactions, but nobody but me had to know that.

"Go ahead, Cullen, but I want to see you win something other than Skeeball. That game is really not all that hard," I replied.

He scoffed, but the spark in his eyes let me know that he was happy and ready to take on any challenge. "I'll play any game you want, baby," he responded cockily.

I looked around the area, and spotted Milk Bottles. I'd never known anyone to win that game, and I knew instantly that was what I wanted Edward to play for me. I looked over at him and nodded my head in the direction of the booth. His grin was smug, and he hadn't even started playing the game yet. He led the way and slammed his money on the booth, paying for three rings.

The objective was to get all three rings around the neck of three different closely lined up bottles. Like all carnival games, it seemed a lot easier than it actually was and required quite a bit of skill. Since the bottles were so close together and the rings were quite a bit larger than necessary, the rings usually clipped another bottle and bounced away. It was so rare for people to win, but I'd always thought these games were rigged anyway. I'm sure you can imagine my surprise when Edward executed the task with ease and was handed over a prize by an equally surprised game operator.

"For you, Jasper," Edward beamed, passing me a mighty white tiger.

I moved closer, wrapping my arms around him and crushing the stuffed animal between us. I kissed him squarely on the lips before pulling back to look into his pretty green eyes.

"That was fucking impressive," I said truly in awe.

Edward just rolled his eyes. "I think you're just really easy."

"I am," I nodded in agreement. I stepped back and took his hand in mine before heading back over toward the others. As we made the short walk to the tables, I looked around, checking out the scenery and people around me. It was a beautiful, cloudless day, and the air was filled with music and laughter. The wind carried all kinds of smells with it; sugar, butter, fried food, and freshly cut grass. Everything combined had a wonderful effect on me. I felt young again, hanging out with friends and being carefree.

I glanced over at Edward, and I didn't need verbal confirmation to know that he felt the exact same way. He'd told me on the way here that his love for carnivals stemmed from the fact that everyone here could be a kid there no matter how old they were. I wasn't sure if Edward was suffering through a little Peter Pan Syndrome or not, but I was definitely starting to see the benefits of regression and repression.

Before joining the others, we stopped at a concession stand and bought cotton candy to share. After we sat down, I glanced at Rose and saw a faint blush cover her cheeks as she watched us. I figured that she was still embarrassed about barging in on us earlierand that was why she'd been distracted all day. Our blue eyes met and it was almost like looking into a mirror. I sent a silent apology her way and she just shook her head, smiling unconvincingly.

"Are we done playing the fucking games now that all you ladies have cuddly teddy bears to take home with you?" Emmett asked after eyeing my newly won tiger. I flipped him the bird and he responded with a scandalously loud belch.

"'Atta boy!" Esme cheered, clapping him on the back. He smiled at her proudly like a kid who'd just been praised by his mother.

"Don't encourage him, Esme," Rose said. "Especially when he's being pissy about losing that water gun game to a seven year old."

"He was at least ten!" Emmett defended himself. I snorted a laugh and shook my head. His ego was bruised, and Rose wasn't making it any better. She loved breaking his balls.

"Leave him alone, Rose. It's actually an art form. Not everyone can excel at carnival games." Edward smiled, coming off as innocent and arrogant all at once. He offered me a piece of fluffy, pink cotton candy from our shared stick, and I ate it, taking his index finger and thumb into my mouth as well. I didn't want to leave any of the sticky residue on his fingers. I also wanted to tease him a little by sucking on his fingers, and Edward knew it. He glanced at me and rolled his eyes. I could see the fire burning behind those pools of emerald though, and I knew that he'd want me to finish what I'd started earlier this morning before Rose and Esme barged in. I had no problem with that at all. In fact, I was looking forward to it.

As the day continued, we all broke up into little groups wanting to do different things. Edward and Emmett were in line for the Drop Tower while Rose and I were in line for the Pirate Ship. We hadn't seen Esme since she ditched us for a beautiful blond man a couple hours before.

"You're different together."

I turned my head toward my sister and knit my brows in confusion. We'd been talking about my next book, and I had no idea how what she'd said fit into that conversation.

"You and Edward, I mean. I've never seen him act the way he has been today, and I've never you see act this way either," she clarified.

"Is that a good thing?"

"I'm not sure," she replied thoughtfully. "Knowing what I know about both of you, I would like to say it is a good thing. I've been watching you two all day though, and I can't actually say that it is. I've been limiting my time with both you and Edward because I don't think the set up you two have is a good idea, but that has to stop. I think I may need to be around for this," she said as the operator came around to check our safety bars.

"That sounds very ominous, Rosie," I said, warily.

She turned to me and flashed a wicked smile. "I know."

Any further conversation was prevented by squeals and laughter as the ride began to swing. I couldn't even enjoy the ride as I mulled over Rosalie's words. She'd basically confirmed my suspicions that something in me had to be changing and the same for Edward. Unfortunately, that only led to more questions and worries filling my head.

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><p><em><strong>There you have it, Lovelies! Click that little button for me, will ya?<strong>_

_**And if haven't done so already, please head over to the Twifestivals and vote. My beta and I were lucky enough to be nominated and we would love your support!**_

_**thetwifestivals(dot)blogspot(dot)com**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**SM owns.**_

**_Many thanks go out to my amazing beta, cocoalvin!_**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

"Want to make out on the Ferris wheel?" I asked, nuzzling the hollow of Jasper's throat. It was late in the afternoon, and we'd blown the majority of the day at the carnival. The others had already left, but I wasn't going anywhere without riding the Ferris wheel. I knew that it was probably really pathetic for a grown man to love the carnival so much, but I didn't care. I wasn't asking anybody to understand or even indulge me. I was used to doing things by myself and the carnival was no different. That isn't to say I wasn't overjoyed when Jasper decided to stay with me.

"What else are we going to do up there?"

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "What, indeed?"

He took my hand as the line moved forward, and I looked down at our clasped fingers, trying to decide whether I should let it continue or not. Spending the day with Jasper had been great, and that was surprising to me. After everything that happened this morning, I expected things to be awkward at best, but I was glad to have been proved wrong. I'd even almost forgotten about the little conversation. It was at the forefront of my mind now though.

In the beginning of our arrangement, I'd vehemently refused and avoided handholding. Recently, I'd begun to allow it because I was comfortable and pleased with the way things were going between Jasper and I. I was confused about what I should do now because it seemed like Jasper's ideas about our relationship were changing. So far, we'd been coasting—never slowing down but never moving faster. That was great for me because I knew what happened when people started expecting and wanting more from their partners. I knew that it was always during the progression of a relationship that things went to shit. As long as Jasper and I stayed exactly where we were, things would always be great between us.

Before I could decide whether I should be holding his hand or not, Jasper tightened his grip and pulled us forward into our carriage. Once we were seated and in motion, he draped his arm over my shoulders and kissed my temple.

"Want to get some food after this?" Jasper asked. "That diner I was telling you about isn't too far from here."

I looked out into the distance and sighed at the beautiful view of the city the Ferris wheel provided. I was starting to make myself frustrated. I was over-thinking everything and making every decision much more complicated than it needed to be. Either I wanted to go out to dinner with Jasper or I didn't.

"Sure." I nodded, leaning into his side. His hair tickled my face as it blew in the wind, and I inhaled deeply, wanting to take in as much of his scent as I could. After showering at my place, the fragrance of my shampoo saturated his blond locks, but there was still a hint of pure Jasper underneath. The combination was heady and made me feel..._happy_.

"Did you have fun today?" I asked, lazily stroking the fur on his stuffed tiger.

"I did," he nodded. "It was good just hanging out with you and Esme and Rose and Emmett. Rose and I don't see enough of each other," he told me.

"I thought you two did Sunday dinner every week?"

"We do, but it was canceled two weeks in a row. Once because I had that meeting with my editor and the second time because Emmett's brother was having a birthday party."

I nodded my head, remembering Tommy's little shindig. It'd been fun, and I'd gotten really wasted. "Well, you should hang out with us. I don't get to hang out with her a lot either, but you're welcome to join us whenever," I offered.

As we reached the very top of the wheel, Jasper slid his hand up from the nape of my neck and entangled my hair in his fist. He angled my face up for a kiss and claimed my lips as his own. The kiss started slowly, but like everything between Jasper and I, it heated up pretty quickly. I wrapped my arm around his neck and licked his bottom lip, asking for access into his mouth. He opened up and moaned as I massaged his tongue with mine. Getting lost in the kiss, I didn't notice the slowed movement of the wheel or the annoyed ride operator clearing her throat a million times to get our attention.

"It's time to stop sucking face and get off the fucking ride!" she shouted after her subtle attempts had gone unnoticed. I flinched away from Jas and quickly checked my surroundings before getting out of the carriage.

"Sorry," I muttered, feeling my face, neck, and ears redden. Jasper laughed at my embarrassment and stepped out after me. The girl simply rolled her eyes and continued helping other people exit the ride. Jasper and I finally left the carnival and headed toward the diner where he wanted to have dinner. The car ride was mostly silent but comfortable, and once we arrived at the restaurant, we got a table almost right away.

"What's good?" I asked, glancing at Jasper as I opened my menu.

"Everything," he answered. "And I truly mean that. Peter, Mike and I have been here so many times that we have actually had everything on the menu."

"That's really sad, Jas," I replied, shaking my head.

I settled on a nice, heart-clogging double bacon cheeseburger and a full order of curly fries when the waitress came to take our orders, and Jasper went with a Spanish omelet. This was one of those delightful places that served breakfast all day long. Jasper and I made idle chit chat until the waitress brought our food. It all looked so damned delicious, and I couldn't wait to tuck in. I was stalled when the table was darkened by an unexpected shadow. I looked up, already pissed that someone was holding up my assault on my burger, but my eyes widened in shock when I saw who it was. It was that girl from Rose and Emmett's anniversary party. What was her name? Maria?

"You never called me back, asshole," she said, managing to be playful and pissed off at the same time. She swiped her hand at Jasper's shoulder before flipping her long dark hair over her shoulder. "How's it going, Eric," she said, sparing me a quick smile before turning her eyes back to Jasper. I barely even noticed that she called me by the wrong name. I was too busy checking her out. She was more beautiful than I remembered, and the way she was leaning forward, gripping the table to squeeze and maximize the effect of her ample cleavage between her arms, let me know that she was willing to go the distance to get Jasper back into her bed. There was, after all, no doubt in my mind that they'd slept together. I'd plenty of times felt the desperation I saw in her eyes, and I didn't know if I should feel sympathetic that she, too, had been ensnared by Jasper's cock or disgusted that she was being a shameless slut.

"It's Edward," Jasper said, making both Maria and I knit our brows in confusion. "You called him Eric but his name is Edward," he explained.

She turned her chin in my direction but kept her eyes on him. "Sorry," she said. I was glad that she wasn't looking at me because I could feel the blush burning my entire face, and I did not want her to see it.

"So, what gives? You can't make a girl come that many times in a row and then not return her phone calls," Maria said, getting back to her reason for coming over to our table. "You know what I'm saying, right Elroy?" she added, turning to wink at me.

If I weren't so consumed with finding out every last detail of their romp, I probably would have laughed. How the fuck did she come up with Elroy? As I glared at the side of her face, I could feel Jasper's eyes on me, and when I turned mine toward him, he gave me a pleading smile. I composed my face into a mask of nonchalance and indifference and took a sip of my Pepsi, wishing that it were something stronger. I really didn't want to sit there and watch Jasper entertain that broad, and after this morning's conversation, hearing her talk about how well he had fucked her really pissed me off.

He must have taken note of my mood because he sighed heavily before turning his focus to the dark haired bitch.

"Look, I had fun with you, Maria, but I had my fill," he said.

Once again, Maria and I shared a reaction as we both flinched away from his harsh remark. He'd had his fill? Was she a fucking entree? Maybe Maria was a super whore, but that didn't mean he had to be an asshole to her. Her face turned beet in red in what I guessed was both rage and embarrassment. All the lusty sparkle faded from her eyes and was replaced by the blazing fires of hell.

"Fuck you," she snarled before turning on her heel and storming out of the restaurant. I watched her until she was out of sight and then trained my eyes on my food. Suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore, but I forced myself to choke down some fries. I knew that Jasper was looking at me, but I refused to meet his gaze. I kept my eyes down, waiting for him to finish his food so that I could doggy bag mine and go home.

"You have something to say? Say it," Jasper said with resignation in his voice.

I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't have anything to say."

"Clearly, you do."

"If you're looking to get into some sort of argument, you're not going to find it this way. We had a good time today. Let's just end it on that same note, okay?"

Jasper growled angrily before catching the waitress's attention and signaling her over. When she got to the table, he asked for boxes so that we could take our food home. Everything happened quickly after that. Jasper whisked us out of the restaurant, into his car, and the next thing I knew we were turning into his driveway. I got out of the car and wordlessly started walking toward the sidewalk. Going into his house was a non-option. I hadn't even moved ten feet before his hand was wrapped about my wrist.

"Where are the hell are you going?"

"I just want to go to sleep, Jas. I'll call you, alright?"

"No, not alright. You're pissed about Maria, right? Well, let's go inside and talk about it."

Part of me wanted to just keep on my way. Another part of me really wanted to go inside and yell at him. If I went home, all I would do was pace around my apartment, thinking of all the things I could have said but didn't. Remembering how awful it was waiting for him to call after the Riley fiasco, I knew that it was best to just get everything off my chest now.

I pulled my arm free from Jasper's grip and marched up the steps to his porch. As I waited for him to unlock the door, I compiled and organized all the shit I wanted to say to him in my head. Once inside we took our shoes off in the foyer, dumped our food on the kitchen counter, and then went into the living room. He stood in the center of the room with his arm crossed, and I could tell by the wrinkles in his forehead that he was trying to find a way to start this conversation.

"I fucked her a long time ago. Like two weeks after you and I started this whole thing," he said calmly.

"It doesn't matter when you fucked her! It matters that you fucked her and then asked me not to fuck anyone else. You made this whole point of making sure I understood we're free to do whatever we want in this agreement, and now, you're trying to put me on a fucking leash!"

Jasper groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I'm not trying to put you on a leash. What I said was fucked up. I'm just not used to talking about the things I want from another person. I've never even wanted anything from another person—"

"Besides sex," I said, cutting him off.

"This is already hard for me, Edward! You don't have to make it worse by making me feel like an asshole!"

"You are an asshole, Jasper! You just told Maria that you didn't want to sleep with her, because you'd had your fill!"

Jasper shook his head regretfully. "I panicked! I just wanted to get her away from the table. You were sitting there looking like you'd just sucked on a lemon or something! That's not how I normally treat people. You should know that, Edward!"

Honestly, I did know. I just didn't want to think about him being a nice guy because I was pissed off and confused. This conversation wasn't going the way I'd planned it to. I had so much I wanted to say, so much I didn't want to say, and even more things I didn't even want to think about, but as I stood in Jasper's living room looking into his gorgeous eyes, I couldn't make heads or tails of anything or censor what was coming out of my mouth.

"I don't understand why you would say that to me, why you would ask me what you did this morning. You had your fill of Maria, and sooner or later, you'll have had your fill of me too. I know that you didn't mean to be a jackass, but that doesn't make what you said any less true. You get what you want from people and then you move on."

Jasper opened his mouth but closed it before he said anything. His eyes were moving frantically in their sockets, looking at me then on to other spots in the room. He looked just as fucked up and confused as I felt, and I took a step forward without thinking. I wanted to take him into my arms and forget about the last few hours. I wanted to assure him that everything was okay, and even if it weren't right now, it would be soon. I stayed where I was and wrapped my arms around myself instead. I couldn't take care of him and myself at the same time. Yes, I was making the conscious decision to be selfish.

"You keep bringing up the things I said I wanted, but fuck all of that. Without regarding anything I've said in the past, tell me what you want."

The inquiry was so simple yet so complicated. I knew what I wanted, but for some reason I couldn't make the words come out of my mouth. I couldn't say them to Jasper. He was looking at me like his whole life depended on my response, and I couldn't bring myself to swing the axe. I turned my back on him and stared at the wall. I could tell the wall, but not him.

The stale air I breathed changed as it fused with Jasper's scent, filling my nose and filtering into my lungs. I could feel his breath on my neck and his warmth down my back. He was standing so close behind, and while not touching me at all, I could feel him on every inch of my skin. I was strengthened by his nearness, enabling me to speak with a clear and steady voice when he repeated his question. "Tell me what you want, Edward."

"I want to not be hurt again. I want to be with a man and keep what remains of my heart safely locked away where nobody else has a chance to break it. I can't allow you to touch anything deeper than my skin. I've allowed it too many times before, and I won't make the mistake again. I want to keep this relationship the way that it is right now because later on down the road when you tell me that you want to watch your friends fuck me, that you have a wife and kids, that you're only with me because you aren't sure if you're gay or straight, or that I've fulfilled your fantasy of fucking a ginger, I won't be surprised that you, like everyone else, can't find anything about me besides my body appealing. That's what I want, Jasper."

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><p><em><strong>A little shorter than usual, but I thought that was a good place to stop it. Now, click that little button and tell me what's on your mind!<strong>_


	22. Chapter 22

_**SM owns.**_

_**Many thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin!**_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper<strong>_

I wanted to see his face, but when I turned him around, he ducked his head. I caressed his jaw with the back of my hand before nudging his face with the knuckle of my index finger. I was scared to see the anguish in his eyes if it was anything like the pain in his voice. I needed to know that he was still with me though. That he was still willing to see me.

It was fleeting, but when his gaze met mine, I winced at the pain I saw in the emerald depths. Edward pushed against my chest and moved toward the door. I grabbed for him, but before my hand could even touch him, he slapped it away. He turned to face me, and the look in his eyes let me know that his departure was not to be thwarted again. For several seconds, I thought about trying to keep him with me but decided to give him his space. I lowered my head and took a step away from him. The sound of my front door slamming behind him filled my ears an instant later.

I sat down on the floor right where I stood and tried to get my thoughts in order. All I could hear was Edward's voice as he uttered those terrible words. I wrapped my arms around my waist as something sickening lurched in my stomach. Edward's examples of possible outcomes for our relationship were too specific to have just randomly come to him. Those things must have actually happened and subsequently scarred him, making him doubt his worth. My nausea soon turned into an overwhelming mix of helplessness and rage. There was too much swirling inside my head, and I needed something to either give me peace of mind or comfort my numbness.

I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled through my contacts until I found the person I was looking for. I pressed the phone to my ear and waited three rings before my call was answered.

"Didn't I just see your ugly mug a couple hours ago?"

"Who did this to him, Rose?"

Even to my own ears, my voice sounded hysterical and distraught. My free hand balled into a fist so tight that it broke the skin of my palm as I impatiently waited for her to answer me. I didn't know where she was, but I heard the background noise fade out before she began speaking.

"I figured I'd get this sort of call from you, but I didn't think it would be this soon," she sighed.

"What happened?"

I didn't want to tell her the whole story, partly because it would take too much time and partly because I didn't want to invite Rose into our spat before Edward and I had a chance to resolve things ourselves.

"He told me all these things that guys have done to him. He told me that with most of the guys he's been with their bottom line was sex. He said that someone wanted to watch him have sex with their friends, someone had a wife and kids, and that someone just had a fantasy of fucking a redhead," I said, the words coming up in every sense like vomit, uncontrollable and foul. "He told me all of that and just walked out. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. I need you to give me something. I need to know more, Rosie."

"Jasper, you need to calm down first. It sounds like you're about to hyperventilate or something. Do I need to come over there?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "I just want you to talk. Tell me exactly what happened."

I was desperate for details, but I also knew that Rosalie was right. I needed to get my shit together. It wouldn't help anything if I passed out. My sister waited patiently on the other end for my breathing to return to normal before she began speaking.

"Listen, Jas, Edward is a very private person, and I really don't think he'd appreciate me telling you things like that without his permission," she said. "Yes, he's had some pretty fucked up relationships, and most of the time he's really closed-mouthed about it. You're lucky he said anything at all, but I can't give any more information than he's already given you."

I sighed in exasperation. I should have known she was going to say something sensible like that. It really pissed me off how good of a friend she was.

"Rose, I'm going crazy over here. He said he'd call, but who knows when that will be? I won't be able to rest until I have all the facts. What about that guy, Jacob? I saw him and Edward at a club once, and Edward was really upset. He was one of the assholes that hurt E wasn't he?"

"Yes."

She clearly wasn't going to say anything more about that, but I wasn't backing down until she told me _something_. I couldn't really understand this sudden obsession with Edward's past. I knew that the more I heard about it the more pissed off I'd get, but I just couldn't help myself.

"What about that last guy that Edward dated? Royce? Was that his name? I know you hated him. When we all went out, you ignored him the whole time, and Emmett told me that you guys poured bleach into the gas tank of his car. What was that all about?"

I knew by the silence on the other end that I'd hit the jackpot. I didn't know what Rosalie was going to say, but I knew she was going to say something. As I waited for her to speak, I was filled with both anticipation and dread. It was like I was going insane. I needed to know exactly what Edward had been through, but I also didn't want to hear it. I could barely understand what I meant, so I didn't even bother trying to it repeat to Rose.

"I always knew that Royce was an asshole. He was handsome but in a fake, arrogant, elitist type of way. I hate Royce. I hate Royce's friends. I hate who Edward became while he was with Royce. And now that you have thoroughly fucked up my night by bringing up his name, I'm hanging up on you."

The dial tone promptly rang in my ear, and I tossed my phone aside. Rosalie hadn't actually given me details, but I knew that whatever Royce had done was awful. I thought back to the time right after he and Edward broke up and remembered several different instances when Edward would clam up, suddenly get quiet, or take on an anguished expression. At the time, I'd been practically oblivious, but now that I knew, I felt a complete jackass. Edward had been suffering while I'd constantly hounded him into sleeping with me. I was disgusted with myself.

Without another thought, I jumped to my feet. The walls were closing in on me, my skin felt too tight, and I was slowly suffocating in my misery. I left my house, hopped in my car and just drove. I didn't really know where I was headed, but when I ended up across the street from Hopleaf, I knew that I was in the right place.

It was just after one o'clock in the a.m. on Sunday morning, and the bar was just about filled to the bursting. I walked in quickly, hoping the loud roar of chatter, laughter and clinking glasses would drown out the thoughts in my head. I picked a seat smack dab in the middle of the bar, and after getting the bartender's attention, I slammed a hundred dollar bill on the scarred wood surface.

"Jameson on the rocks," I said. "And keep it coming."

The woman behind the bar looked at me with an expression full of curiosity and concern. I locked eyes with her, daring her to question me or say something she had no right to. I knew I was being an asshole, and she didn't deserve my ire. I was just so pissed off that my rage was spilling out and splashing onto whoever got close enough. After only seconds, she took the money and poured my drink, setting it in front of me with a sympathetic smile that I didn't bother returning. I knocked back the first, and she must have expected me to do so because she waited in front of me with the bottle to refill it. Because she was so efficient, I nodded my head and lifted my glass to her before she moved on to other customers.

As I sipped from my glass, my mind wandered, but instead of thinking of Edward's past, I thought of his present. Me. When I'd first met him, his morals had been firmly in place, even after whatever happened between him and Royce. He'd rejected me time and time again, and even after we'd come to an agreement, he had still been skittish about what we were doing. It wasn't until after he'd been sleeping with me for quite some time that he'd had this false realization of worthlessness. The men of his past had used him under the guise of a relationship, but it wasn't until me, the guy who'd called him night after night asking only for his body, that he'd finally broken. I was the final nail in the coffin, the person who'd ruined Edward's faith in love and all other men.

Moving on to my third drink, I was more or less drunk off my ass. My usual tolerance was depleted by a lack of food. After having my breakfast foiled by Rose and Esme, spending the day at the carnival and having my dinner ruined by Maria's appearance at the diner, I'd only eaten half a bag of cotton candy and exactly three French fries the whole day. My mind didn't register any hunger though. I was too nauseated by my own presence and the memory of Edward's bitter, resentful tone as he'd spoken to me earlier. I knew that I had to do something to right my wrongs and help Edward to truly see himself. To see himself the way I did. My sluggish and inebriated brain couldn't think of one single thing, surprisingly.

When my fourth drink was poured, the bartender eyed me worriedly again. She sighed and leaned forward, making sure she had my attention before she spoke. "I don't know what's troublin' you darlin', but I'm a good listener if you wanna to talk. I'm only pouring you one more glass after this one though, ya hear?"

I snickered at her southern backwoods accent and nodded my head in acknowledgement of her words. She gave me an indulgent smile before walking away again. I cradled my glass, knowing that my well was going to dry up soon. I was going to savor this round, and as a distraction from the precious liquid, I looked into the mirror behind the bar to survey the dwindling crowd behind me. I was halfway through scanning the back booths when I saw him. I gasped before an ugly sneer spread across my face. The gods of catharsis and vengeance were smiling down on me, and I would not squander their gift.

Royce King had just stood up from one of the booths. He was with three other guys: two snobby looking suits and an adorable little twink. Royce had his arm around the twink, nibbling at his ear while his friends looked on like wolves, waiting for their alpha to conquer the prey. The twink swayed on his feet, and the other three, seemingly sober, steadied him. Rage kick started my brain and memory.

Edward had said, '…want to watch your fuck me friends.'

Rosalie had said, 'I hate Royce. I hate Royce's friends.'

I watched those three practically carry the sloppy, drunk twink out of the bar and mentally replaced him with Edward. My assumption could have been completely wrong, but regardless, I was on my feet, following them out of the bar. It was a gutless move, but the instant we all reached the parking lot my fist connected with the back of Royce's neck. He fell forward onto the gravel-covered ground. Subsequently, the twink he had his arm around fell with him, and Royce's friends rushed to rescue the twink instead of their fallen leader. They grabbed the prize and scurried away to their car. It was just as well though. I wouldn't have been to take all of them in my drunken state.

I doubted I would have even been able to take Royce, but since he was a cowardly asshole, he stayed right on the ground where he fell and rolled into a protective ball. I wasn't having any of that though. I kicked him as hard as I could in his lower back, making him arch out of the fetal position. I grabbed him by the collar and punched him in the face, smiling when I heard a satisfying crunch followed by a scream of pain.

"You're going pay for what you did, you perverted son of a bitch!"

My fist connected with his face over and again. I couldn't stop hitting him and felt like a certified madman as I realized I never wanted to. He wasn't the only person that had hurt Edward, but he was a good enough stand-in for the bunch. I kept hitting him because I couldn't hit the others. I kept hitting him because I couldn't hit myself. I kept hitting him because he'd used Edward's body solely for his sick pleasure, and now I was going to use _his_ for_ my_ own sick pleasure.

When the blood pouring down his face made his skin slippery, I let go of his shirt and used my foot. I went for his balls first and sent my foot straight down between his legs. It was either because Royce was screaming so loud or because I'd become totally unhinged and lost in the task of delivering my own version of justice that I didn't hear the sirens, but when the cops came, it took three officers to get me away from Royce. I thrashed in their hold, incredulous and livid that they thought that vile infection of a man didn't deserve to be slaughtered.

"This isn't over, you piece of shit! You better watch your back for the rest of your pathetic fucking life because I'm just getting started. You think you're pain in now? You haven't seen anything yet, bitch!"

I don't know how they managed to cuff me, but when they did, I was roughly shoved into the back of a squad car. In the back of my mind, I knew that being arrested was a bad thing, but I couldn't seem to stop smiling as I looked out of the window and watched as Royce had to be gingerly scooped off the ground like the filthy wad of human waste he was. When the arresting officers got into the car, they took me down to the station and began booking me. After the adrenaline had burned off, I found that I was still drunk. The officers had a hard time keeping me upright as I was processed. My hands were swollen, and it hurt like hell when I had to be printed. I didn't complain though. It was a small price to pay after delivering a well-deserved ass-kicking.

After mug shots, questioning and having my bail set by a judge, I was shown to a holding cell. It smelled like booze and piss, and my stomach was unsettled by the stench. I moved as far away from the other occupants as I could and leaned against a wall to rest my head against the cold, hard brick. It was surprisingly comfortable, but then again, I was drunk and tired as hell. I probably would have been comfortable on a bed of needles. It wasn't until I was being awoken by a dirty hobo that I realized I'd fallen asleep.

"They're calling you, kid," he said, standing unnecessarily close. The smell of his breath was awful, and I moved away quickly, stumbling over my own feet in my haste to get away from him. I went over to the opening of the cell where an officer was waiting for me.

"Come on, Hale. You've got one phone call."

He led me to a payphone, and I immediately grabbed the receiver, giving the operator the number of the only person in the world I wanted to talk to. His voice was deep and groggy when he answered on the fifth ring.

"Edward Cullen, you have a collect call from—"

The operator paused, allowing me to say my name, but instead I said, "I kicked his ass, baby!"

"Will you accept the charges?" the operator asked him.

"Jasper?" he replied, sounding a lot more alert.

"Yes, it's me!"

"Will you accept the charges, sir?" the operator asked again.

"Of course."

The operator clicked off the line, and I immediately started spouting off the details of my fight. My tongue felt like it weighed fifty pounds, my head was swimming, and I had no idea if he could even understand what I was saying. I kept talking, needing him to know what I'd done for him.

"Jasper! Jasper! Shut up!"

I stopped talking mid-sentence and waited to hear what he had to say. "What are you saying? You saw Royce at a bar, got into a fight, and now you're in jail?" he asked.

"You're so fucking smart, baby. That is exactly what happened!"

I heard him sigh heavily. "Do you know what precinct you're at?"

"The one with all the cops in it."

"For fuck's sake, Jasper!"

I frowned. Edward didn't seem happy with me at all. I opened my mouth to ask him why he sounded so angry, but I was cut off by the dial tone. He'd hung up on me. I dropped the receiver and stumbled on back to my cell with the aid of the policemen escorting me. I sat on the ground once I was inside again and buried my face in my hands. I was starting to get a pounding headache. It felt as if there was sand in my mouth, and I was practically starving to death. None of that mattered though because all I really wanted was Edward, and he'd hung up on me. I felt like crying, but a huge scary looking dude was eyeing me from across the cell. I was already pretty, and if I started crying, he'd think I was girl and make me his bitch.

I'd tried to stay awake in case that dude beside me decided to take my hind parts by force, but I wasn't successful. I kept dozing in and out of sleep, so I had no idea how much time had passed when I heard my name being called again.

"Get up, Hale! You're being released!"

I looked up in confusion but smiled widely when I saw a disheveled and gorgeous Edward standing behind a cop. I jumped to my feet, but fell back against the wall when my head spun and jellied legs refused to support my weight.

"Jesus Christ," Edward muttered, under his breath and walked into the cell to help me out. He wrapped an arm around me, but wrinkled his nose and turned his head away from me as we walked toward the exit. "Just how much did you drink? You're a fucking mess, Jas," he growled, but all I could do was smile.

"You came for me!" I said, my voice full of awed appreciation.

"Of course, I did," he said, a small smile contradicting his annoyance. I leaned my head happily against his shoulder. We collected my belongings from an officer at the front desk and left the building. I was surprised to see that it was morning when we got outside, but I didn't mention it, I was just glad to be out. He deposited me in the passenger seat of his car and soon after we were back at his place. We'd been silent the whole time, but as he guided me into his bathroom and began stripping off my clothes, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Are you angry with me?"

He glanced at me and smiled before turning on the shower. "No, I'm not," he said, running his fingers through my hair. He looked into my eyes for a long time before sighing and turning his back to me.

"I've put some clothes here on top of the hamper for you. Get showered and come to bed, alright?"

I nodded my head, wishing he'd join me but decided not to push my luck. I did what I was told and when I entered his darkened bedroom afterward, I noticed that he'd closed all the curtains to block out the morning sunlight. He was already in bed and pulled back the sheets for me. I slid in beside him, and he took me into his arms, making me moan in content. I wanted to talk, but I couldn't resist sleep now that I was in his soft bed and warm embrace. I was asleep before I even realized it.

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	23. Chapter 23

_**SM owns.**_

_**Many thanks go out to my amazing and lightening fast beta, cocoalvin!**_

_**I really do have the best reviewers ever. Your encouragement and support really does inspire me, and because you all rock my socks, here's another chapter!**_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

I was up and out of my bed, pulling on clothes before I even had a clear idea of what to do. Jasper was in jail and drunker than I'd ever heard him. It was just after four o'clock in the morning, and he had no idea what police station he was at. I knew that I had to go get him though. I thought about calling Rose but immediately vetoed that idea. She would shit a brick if she knew that Jasper had been arrested. I paced my bedroom floor anxiously until I decided to just get in my car. I'd just drive around to all the stations until I found him.

Once in my car, I decided to stop at the twenty-four hour Dunkin Donuts to grab some coffee before heading to one of the larger stations downtown. During the drive, my mind wandered from the simple fact that Jasper was in jail to the act that put him there. He'd run into Royce King and decided he wanted to pound the man's face in. Just thinking about Royce and our last encounter made goose bumps cover my skin and my stomach churn. I'd been surviving on the assumption that I would never have to see that man or his friends ever again, and the possibility that I might have to see him now was making me feel like my head might explode.

The situation was made better by the fact that Jasper had apparently beaten the shit out of Royce. I wasn't a fan of violence after what happened to me all those years ago, but Royce had it coming. Even though I hadn't been the one to do the deed, I felt vindicated as if I had been. There was a small sadistic part of me that hoped I _would_ see Royce whenever I found Jasper. I hoped his face was just as bruised and ugly as he'd made me feel.

The closer I got to the station the faster I started to drive. That was probably really stupid seeing as it would be easier to get a ticket where there was an overabundance of cops, but I didn't care. I didn't want Jas to have to sit in a cell any longer than necessary. If I had pieced together his drunken ramblings correctly, he'd fought Royce to avenge me. I had no idea how Jasper figured out that Royce was one of the people I'd been talking about at his house, but at the moment, it didn't matter. I'd never had anyone go to that length for me before, and it made me feel safe and cared for. It was my turn to care for him in the only way that I could right now; I had to get him out of there.

When I got to station, I pulled into the lot and hurried into the building. I wasn't surprised to see the place was crowded and loud. It was the middle of the night on the weekend, and people tended to go a little crazy during that particular time for some reason. There were cuffed men and women all over the place. Most of their crimes weren't apparent, but I did notice quite a few prostitutes and drunken buffoons. I tried not to pay attention to the scary looking folks with blood on their clothes or the guy who needed multiple officers to contain him as he ranted and raved. It really worried me that Jasper was being held in the same space as these people, and I moved faster toward the front desk.

"Hi, I'm looking for my friend Jasper Hale. He was arrested a few hours ago," I said to the burly woman behind the counter. She was a gruff looking woman with wild dark hair and hardened brown eyes.

"Hold on, sweetie, let me check the records," she replied in a surprisingly sweet voice. I tried my best not to flinch in shock, but I'm sure I failed miserably. "Can you spell the last name for me?"

I nodded my head and proceeded to give her the correct spelling of Jasper's last and then first name. After a few excruciatingly long seconds, she sighed and shook her head, sending her curls bouncing all over the place.

"Nope. We don't have him listed here. Are you sure he was brought to this precinct?"

"Actually, I'm not. He was drunk when he called me and didn't know where he was. I just took a guess and came here," I told her.

She nodded her head, understandingly. "Well, if you'd like to wait a few moments, I could do a search for him in the system and tell you where he is," she offered.

I wanted to hop over that counter and kiss her. I controlled myself though because my enthusiasm might have been mistaken for assaulting on officer. "That would be such a huge help," I said, hoping to convey my gratitude with my eyes and tone. She smiled warmly, completely transforming her gruff appearance and told me to have a seat.

I made my way over to an extremely uncomfortable bench and sat down. As soon as my ass hit the seat, my patience ran out, and I began to wonder what the hell was taking so long. Was I the only one who understood that Jasper was rotting away in a place filled with criminals and filth? Almost an hour had passed before the lady came back to tell me that Jasper had been taken to another station that was about ten minutes away. My anger flared as I realized I would have found him faster if I had just kept looking on my own. I grumbled my thanks to the woman and left.

My heart pounded in my chest as I ran into the station where the woman assured me Jasper was. I was anxious to get him out of there, and I didn't care how much money it would cost me. Once inside, I noticed the place was a lot smaller, less crowded but a lot dirtier. I went up to the desk and found a short guy, who clearly had a Napoleon complex going on, manning the counter.

"I'm looking for Jasper Hale," I told him. He snorted a laugh, clearly knowing who I was talking about and typed something into the computer.

"Are you his lawyer?" he asked.

"No, I'm a friend."

"Are you willing to pay his bail? It's been set at five thousand dollars," he said, and my jaw dropped to the floor.

"For a first time offense?" I asked incredulously.

"Criminal assault and battery charges have been placed against him by the victim," he said with an unapologetic shrug.

I sighed and pulled out my checkbook. I knew the importance of saving cash, so luckily, I had more than enough at my disposal. My mind was already a million miles past the dollar amount though. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that Royce was pressing charges. For all he knew, a random stranger attacked him. I knew differently though, and if Jasper being detained in a local police station made me nauseous, thinking about him being possibly sent to prison just about killed me.

The officer pulled out some paperwork for me to fill out, and when I passed over the check, I looked up just in time to see a man who kind of looked like Royce. His face was badly bruised, and his left eye was swollen shut. I couldn't really be certain if it was him or not, but when he stopped in his tracks and stared at me, I knew. Without another thought, I was marching over to him. I watched his body tense as he took a step away from me, seemingly in fear that he was about to get his face bashed in for a second time in one night.

"Edw—" he began in a shaky voice, but I didn't want to hear anything he had to say.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole!" I growled, grabbing him by his collar. "If you continue with these charges against Jasper, I'll be pressing charges against you and your sick little friends. That shit may have happened a long time ago, but I'm sure Daddy won't take kindly to the spectacle I'm prepared to make."

Royce had come from old money, and though his family hadn't disowned him when he came out, he had been under strict orders to be discreet in his 'relations'.

"I'm sure a sexual assault lawsuit will get you written out of that multi-million dollar will in a heart beat," I hissed, looking into the one eye that was still able to open. I didn't even bother waiting for his reply before I turned my back on him and went to fill out the necessary paperwork to get Jasper released. On the outside, I seemed a lot calmer than I really was, but I didn't lose control until Royce was gone. I put down my pen and balled my trembling hands into fists. I closed my eyes and dropped my head between my knees as I took several deep breaths. When I could make my hands write legibly again, I finished the task I was assigned.

Waiting another forty-five minutes before I was allowed back with another officer to retrieve Jasper put me on edge again. All I could think about was how Royce had set me up. How he'd held me down, how disgusting and used I'd felt. How I still randomly felt that way sometimes. I was happy that Jasper had beat the fuck out of Royce, but at the same time, I was jealous and wished that I'd been the one to land punch after punch on Royce's smug face.

When we reached Jasper's cell, he was sitting on the floor sleeping. He looked really tired and part of me just wanted to let him get his rest. I knew that he would be better off in a bed though—my bed. I tried to taper my anger as I helped Jasper out of the building, into my car, and then to my place, but I must have done a shit job.

"Are you angry with me?" Jasper asked while I helped him remove his clothes.

His glazed eyes looked so uncertain and fearful, and my heart melted for him. I didn't want him thinking that a single ounce of the rage I felt was for him. Offering him the best smile I could, I assured him that I wasn't and left him to his own devices so that he could get himself cleaned up. When he came to bed twenty minutes later, I didn't hesitate a single moment in pulling him into my arms. I'd pulled all the drapes shut, wanting to give the room a semblance of nighttime darkness since it was well after seven in the morning. Jasper fell asleep quickly, and I followed soon after him. I wanted to stay in bed with him all day but had to be up for work in a few hours.

When my alarm clock went off, I slapped at it angrily. Jasper barely even stirred as I got out of bed. He simply groaned and rolled away from me onto his side. I went through my daily routine quickly and then went into kitchen to make something for Jasper to eat whenever he woke up. There wasn't much in my fridge, but I was able to whip up some fried chicken and French fries for him. I tucked it into the warming drawer in the oven and then scrawled a quick note for him. Telling him that I had to work but would be off at seven, I instructed him to call me or go over to Esme's if he needed anything before then. When I went to put the note on the bedside table, I saw that his hands were red and swollen.

"Fuck."

I went back to the kitchen and fixed up some homemade ice packs, throwing ice cubes into Ziplock bags. I placed them on the freezer door so that they would be easy for him to grab without having to brush his hands against anything. I added that onto my note for him as a postscript and jogged over to Esme's, knocked on the door to give her fair warning and then let myself in. She was in bed with Riley, eating from a huge, shared plate of bacon.

"E!" they chorused excitedly.

"Are you moving in on my best friend," I asked Riley before leaning over to kiss him on the forehead.

"Yep, I've been showing your girl a good time," he replied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively as I went over to kiss Esme as well.

"No need to squabble, boys. There's enough of me to go around," she said, palming her boobs.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Look, Esme, Jasper's at my place sleeping. He got arrested last night for getting into a fight with Royce. I have to go to work, but I left a note for him, telling him to call me or come here if he needed anything. It's a long story, and I'll tell it to you later on tonight because I was supposed to be at work ten minutes ago. Neither of you are, under no circumstances, allowed to go over there and bother him. Especially you, Riley, because you know he doesn't like your ass," I said, giving them my sternest of stern expressions. They both pouted but sullenly agreed. I left Esme's after I was sure that Jasper would have as much peace and quiet as he needed.

When I walked into work twenty-five minutes late, everyone nearly passed out with relief. Apparently due to my previously impeccable attendance record, the only thing that would result in tardiness was my sudden death. Their concern was revived when I was distracted throughout the whole day. I kept checking my phone for calls from Jasper, but the hours passed without even a single text. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or bad thing. Maybe it wasn't a thing at all, and I was, once again, making a big deal out of nothing.

Either way the uncertainty drove me insane, and by the time I got back to my place, I found myself scared to enter my own home. I took several deep breaths, preparing for the possibility that Jasper might not even still be in there. More than preparing, I was actually hoping that he wasn't. That dream fell fast though. He was right there in my plaid pajama pants, sitting on the couch. He looked just as nervous as I felt, but he glanced up at me with a shy smile before quickly looking away again. I was oddly comforted by our mutual uneasiness. I took my time closing and locking the door behind me and then even more time untying and taking off my shoes. When I couldn't stall any longer, I went over and joined him on the couch. He muted the TV.

"How do you feel?"

"Better than I did when I first woke up," he answered. "Thank you for everything, bailing me out last this morning and taking such good care of me. I didn't deserve all that."

"Of course you did!" I exclaimed, moving closer to him. I gently took his bruised hands into mine and kissed his red knuckles. "No one's ever done anything like that for me. I'm really not mad at you, I should be the one thanking you. Royce is an asshole and believe me when I say he deserved a lot worse."

Jasper grinned widely, seemingly pleased by my words. I returned his smile and leaned over to kiss his lips. "Now, tell me what happened. Did you just see him and decide to kick his ass, or did he say something to you?"

I watched his smile fade slightly before he cleared his throat and told me the story. As he talked, I felt my heart plummeting into my stomach, and I, inch by tiny inch, moved away from him. When he reached the end of his tale, I was swallowing rapidly around the lump in my throat and shaking my head in resistance of what I knew was coming.

"Is that what really happened between you two? Did he get you drunk like the other guy at the bar last night?" Jasper asked.

I found that I was more pissed about Royce and his friends playing the same tricks than I was about Jasper asking his invasive question. The rage inside me loosened my tongue, and I answered Jasper with total honesty.

"Yes, and I had no idea what the fuck was going on. Royce and I were kissing, and the next thing I knew they were on me, holding me down and doing whatever the fuck they wanted. It was only pure luck that I got out of there," I said before getting up from my seat on the couch and pacing the living room floor.

"Wait! What? Are you saying that they r—," Jasper began, but my mind jumped back to the present, allowing me to cut him off before he finished that sentence.

"No! Shut up. Did you eat the food I cooked for you earlier? Are you hungry again? I haven't eaten all day," I rambled before going into the kitchen, but Jasper was hot on my heels. He grabbed my elbow and spun me around to face him.

"Will you stop? We have a lot of shit to talk about, Edward, and it would be great if you didn't just bail like you did last night," he exclaimed.

"Jasper, I shouldn't have said those things last night. You pissed me off, and I brought up a lot of shit that was dealt with a long time ago. It didn't have anything to do with you then, and it doesn't have anything to do with you now. You're worried that you're like all the guys in my past, right? Well, you aren't. They lied to me and used me. You haven't been anything but honest since I met you, and you have no idea how refreshing that is. That matters more to me than anything else. Maybe you are using me for sex, but you know what? I'm using you too. Everything is fine, okay?"

"No! Everything is not fine!"

I sighed and pulled away from him. I didn't want Jasper touching me at the moment. I took several steps away from him, needing extra space and breathing room. He was intent to have some sort of soul-searching conversation, but I was just as, if not more, intent not to have one.

"Edward...when we first met, you were so firm in your belief in monogamy and only having one partner at a time. I came into your life and changed all that. I made you doubt everything that you always wanted, and I feel like such an asshole for that. You deserve everything you wanted then, and I'm sure deep down inside you still want it now. Don't shortchange yourself because of me or those other guys," Jasper said earnestly. He came forward to grab my hand, and struck by sudden inspiration, I didn't pull away this time. I closed all the space between us and burrowed my face in the hollow of his neck. He was so warm and had the mingled aroma of his own personal scent and my body wash.

"I'm not shortchanging myself. You didn't make me turn my back on my beliefs, Jasper. You just showed me that there isn't only one route to happiness. Before, I was putting myself in the trenches, suffering through relationships that I knew wouldn't work. What you and I have does work though. Being with you makes me happy. Things change. I've changed. I want this happiness that I have with you right now. The happiness and pure bliss I feel whenever you touch me...whenever you kiss me...whenever you fuck me," I said softly before pushing my hand under his shirt. The firm skin of his belly quivered under my hand, and I began nibbling and sucking at the skin of his neck. I thought victory was within my reach, but before my hand could travel too far, Jasper pushed me away. At first I was frustrated, but when I looked at the expression on his face, I became worried. He looked scared, terrified even, and I instantly went from trying to seduce him to trying to comfort him.

He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it before words came out. He lowered his head to my chest and wrapped his arms around me.

"What's wrong, Jasper? Honestly, honey, I don't blame you for anything, and I'm not mad at you. I swear," I said, trying to assure him.

"It's not that, Edward. You're right about things changing, and I've changed too. I like you. I _really_ like you, and I care about you so fucking much. This isn't...just about the sex for me anymore. I slept with Maria because I was jealous. I followed you to the club that night that you left with Liam, and I thought that you were going to sleep with him. I slept with her so that we'd be even. The next day when you told me you didn't sleep with that guy, I was so relieved but at the same time embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Sleeping with her didn't feel the same as sleeping with you. It wasn't..._right_. I haven't slept with anyone else since then, and I haven't wanted to either. Right now, you're the only person that I want, and I want to be the only person you want too. I'm sorry for fucking everything up, but I'm just trying to be honest with you. I don't know where we go from here, but this is where I'm at and whatever happens next depends on where you want to go."

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><p><em><strong>There you have it, Lovelies! Now, scroll on down and click that little button, eh?<strong>_


	24. Chapter 24

_**SM owns.**_

_**Cocoalvin is my beta. She is awesome. Be jealous.**_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

I clung to Jasper's body, just needing to feel him. We'd spent almost three whole days together, and the past seventy-two hours had been a roller coaster of emotion. Too many declarations and confessions had been made. It was all so much to take in, and I just wasn't up to the task. I was confused, scared and overwhelmed.

"It's too much...can't process it all...I just need some time...to think," I told him, struggling to find the right words. Jasper craned his neck so that he could look me in the eyes and nodded his head.

"Take all the time you need, Edward. Nothing has to be decided tonight. I know that you're scared, but I'm scared too. I've never felt like this about anyone in my entire life. If you don't want things to change...maybe I could learn to deal with that. I know for sure that I don't want to lose you, but if you think there's even the slightest chance that things could work out between us, I'd like to give it a shot, okay?"

Leaning my forehead against his, I nodded my head. I felt like everything was out of control, but

I wanted to keep him here with me, in my apartment and in my arms. He tilted his head and pushed forward, pressing his lips against mine. The kiss was exactly what I needed. My tongue snaked out, seeking entrance into his mouth. He opened up for me and slid his hands into my hair, holding me exactly where he wanted me. Keeping my arms around him, I walked backward until my back was in the corner. I wanted to be surrounded by his strong body and feel the security that only he could provide.

My hands moved down his chest and then under his shirt when I reached the hem. I'd never tire of the sensation of his skin against mine. Deepening the kiss, I sucked his tongue into my mouth. I wanted much more than a kiss right now, and judging by the erection against my hip, Jasper did too. He had way too many clothes on, and I reached for his pants, intending to rectify that. He pulled away from me the instant he felt my knuckles on the skin of his pelvis though. To say I was shocked and confused would have been a vast understatement.

"I think I should go," he said, seeing the emotions pass over my face.

"But...why? Stay. I'd like you to stay."

"You need to think about what I said, and you can't do that with me here," he replied, backing farther away from me. My hands reached out, groping the air for him futilely.

"I can. I will!"

He shook his head but stepped forward to kiss me once more. I wrapped my arms around

him, greedy and eager to feel him against me. With my face clasped in his hands, he pulled back and aimed a wide grin at me.

"I'm going to leave now, but while you're thinking about what happens next between us, think about how bad you want me to stay right now and what that might mean," he said, kissing me one last time before leaving.

All I could do was stare after him. His words played over and over in my mind as well as the meaning behind them. The need I felt to keep Jasper with me really was worth thinking about. I went over to sit on the couch but got too restless. Pacing the apartment didn't help me much either, and the next thing I knew my feet had carried me to Esme's place. My friend opened the door before I even knocked.

"It's about time!" she exclaimed. "You can't drop a bomb like you did this morning and just walk out, making me wait all day for the whole story!"

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside, before towing me to the couch. Esme plopped down beside me with a huge smile on her face, but it faded quickly as she took in what I guessed was a forlorn expression on my face.

"What's wrong," she asked, scooting closer to grab my hand in both of hers.

I sighed in response, shaking my head. I should have just told her about what happened between Jasper and Royce and went back to my apartment. That wasn't what brought me to her apartment though. I came here because thinking about Jasper was not enough; I needed to talk about him.

There were several false starts as I opened my mouth and then promptly shut it again. I didn't know where to begin or even if I should begin. I'd always handled my own problems, and I didn't feel particularly keen on becoming a whining drama queen now. Growling in frustration, I shot to my feet and started pacing again.

Just to give my mouth the satisfaction of moving, I began rattling off the story of Jasper and Royce. It was odd that the most pressing thing in my life this morning was now the least significant. That must have been apparent to Esme as well because when I finished that story she simply nodded once and said, "Alright. Now, tell me what's wrong."

"He wants to be with me, Esme," I blurted out before I could talk myself into keeping mum. "In an official way. With commitment and rules. With expectations and things...that I don't want to give anymore."

She took a deep breath before rising from the couch and coming over to me. Esme wrapped her arms tightly around me and kissed my temple. I leaned in and returned her embrace. She smelled sweet and warm, like my grandmother's kitchen or my favorite bakery on the Gold Coast. It was comforting. When she pulled back, she kept my face cradled in her hands.

"Strip down to your skivvies, my love," she demanded.

I didn't even have time to question her request before she skipped off into her bedroom, but I waited patiently for her to return, wearing only my green boxer briefs. When Esme returned, she was clad in only a red silk robe and carrying another in black for me. She helped me into it, and after the belt was tied, she reached into the opening and relieved me of my underwear; I smiled and quirked a brow at her.

"Life is just a lot easier when you're wearing a silk robe," she shrugged. I laughed out loud, but when the cool, smooth fabric moved over my derriere, I was inclined to agree.

Esme lay down on the couch and tucked me into her side. I used her boobs as pillows and wrapped my arms around her small frame.

"I thought you liked Jasper," she said once we were settled and comfortable.

"I do. That doesn't mean I want to be his boyfriend though."

"In what universe?"

"In the universe where I was supposed to be taking a break from relationships. Jasper was my vacation! The vacation that _you_ advised me to take!"

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans," Esme replied, sagely.

"Well, thank you, John. How goes the sweet hereafter?"

"It's the truth, dearest," she said. "Fuck what I said before. Fuck what you thought before. Fuck Royce and every other douche bag you've been with in the past. Fuck everything except what you want right now."

My mind's answer was instantaneous: Jasper. I decided to keep that little piece of information for myself and move on to more pressing issues.

"The only thing I can trust when it comes to Jasper is the fact that I can't trust him."

Esme's brow furrowed as she tilted her head to look at me. "Why wouldn't you be able to trust him? What's he ever lied about?"

"He's admittedly insatiable, and he always will be. I can't trust him to be faithful."

"Didn't you tell me he said that you're the only person he's been sleeping with?"

"Can you just be on my side, Esme!"

She scoffed and rolled. "Are you going through the terrible twos, you big baby? I'm actually the only one on your side because you're fighting yourself right now."

I burrowed my face deeper into her bosom, and she ran her fingers through my hair. "I think a motorboat would do us both some good right now," she sighed.

I smiled against her before pushing her boobs tightly around my face and doing exactly that. Esme let out a loud laugh of surprise and draped her leg over my waist.

"I really do need to get laid, and I'll tell you right now. If you let Jasper slip away, I'll have no qualms stepping up to the plate and fucking his broken heart back together."

"I'm sure you wouldn't," I deadpanned.

A comfortable silence settled between us, and my mind began to wander again. Truthfully, my feelings weren't too different from Jasper's. I'd liked him even when I was still with Royce, and underneath the bravado, my feelings had grown stronger since then. That mattered little to me though. I'd persuaded myself to like a lot of boys in the past and love even more. Not trusting Jasper didn't really matter anymore either because more than him, I didn't trust myself. I didn't know how to _not_ settle and conform to the wants and needs of the men in my life, and it just seemed like giving in to Jasper would just put me in the same pattern as before. It was bad enough that I'd let those other guys hurt me, but thinking about Jasper being put in the same category as them made me feel a little suicidal. You don't have to tell me that's an extreme reaction.

"I'm scared," I murmured, wrapping my arms tighter around my best friend.

"Is that a confirmation that you do like him?"

"Yes," I whispered, lowering my voice further.

"And in the absence of this fear, you'd want to be with him as well?"

"Yes."

Esme took several deep breaths before speaking again. The tone of her voice had changed, and she now sounded scared but also world-weary and dejected.

"Listen, I do stick by the statement I made a few months ago. It's okay to be single. That isn't to say that it doesn't really suck sometimes. It's hard to come home night after night to a cold and empty apartment, but I don't do anything about it because I'm stuck where you are now. You know my story. I fucked my life up before I even started living it. At nineteen years old, I'd been through a volatile marriage, a miscarriage, the birth of a stillborn and a divorce. I've been so scared that all my relationships will just be on a downhill slope from that one, and I've surrounded myself with gay men because there is a zero percent chance that they'll hurt me in the way my ex-husband did. Being single for seven years isn't a life I want for you. Hell, I don't want this life for myself either.

"I wouldn't object to buying a shitload of cats and buckling down for a lifetime of sad and single togetherness with you, but if you decide to take the risk and give Jasper a shot—which I totally think you should—then I will stick my neck out there and start dating again too. I think we both deserve to be happy. We shouldn't let our pasts fuck up our future, but since I am well aware of how scary it can be, we can do this together. Be each other's support team when the risks don't seem worth it?"

I looked up at my beautiful, brave Esme and smiled. "I love you, May."

"I love you too, E."

_**Jasper**_

"You were honest with him, and more importantly, you were honest with yourself. No matter what he decides you should be proud of that alone," Peter said.

I rolled my eyes. "Close your legs, man. Your vagina is showing."

"Alright, asshole! I was trying to be fucking uplifting and supportive, but since you're being a jackass, I'll be brutally honest with you. Not only did you confess to being a stalker, but you've also proven yourself to a belligerent and violent drunk. He already knows you can't keep your dick in your pants, and if Edward decides to be your boyfriend, he's a bat-shit lunatic."

I nodded my head before burying my face in my hands. I didn't know what the hell I'd been thinking, telling Edward all that shit. I was just beginning to understand my own feelings. Why in the hell would I think Edward needed to know so soon?

"I don't want to lose him, Peter," I said, looking up at my friend. "He's a good friend. A good man. _He's_ just good...great actually."

"And I'm the one exposing my vagina?" Peter grumbled under his breath. "Look, it's out there now, and you can't take it back. I've spent a little time with Edward, and for what it's worth, I think you've got a good shot at keeping him around."

"I should have stayed with him like he asked. He really wanted me to stay. I could have convinced him. I seem like a pile of shit when you think about me independently," I moped.

Peter nodded in agreement. "That's true."

"You know what, Pete? I think I'm good. You can go home now," I said.

"What? I tried to be sensitive and you bitched at me! Am I going to have to deal with this mood swing shit now that you're fully gay? Because I have to put up with enough PMS from Charlotte," he complained.

"Just get the fuck out of my house."

He snickered mischievously before rising from his seat. He clapped me on my shoulder, wished me luck and showed himself out. After he'd gone, I tried to go to sleep. Once I was in bed, I couldn't sleep though. My nerves kept me from being anything other than antsy and fidgety. When sleep didn't come, I went to my office and tried to do a little free writing, just to get my mind on something else. I'm sure it didn't take a psychic to figure out what my brain spilled out though—nothing but Edward.

Despite what Edward had said, I knew I was just like all those guys that had used him, and I knew that was the biggest strike against me. I prayed that he'd give us a chance though because, for the first time in my life, I actually cared about another person. Edward meant something to me, and I wanted the opportunity to explore my newfound maturity with him. Peter thought I had a good shot, but I still prepared myself for the fact that I might not.

I didn't know how long I sat at my desk, but when a ringing filled my ears, I thought the sound was a hallucination caused by delirium and sleep deprivation. After a few mind clearing shakes of my head, the sound turned out to actually be my doorbell. Glancing at the clock, I jumped from my seat and ran down to answer the door. I knew in my heart of hearts who was on the other side, and even though it was probably really dangerous and stupid to do so, I opened the door without even glancing in the peephole to see who it was.

"Edward."

He placed a hand on my chest and pushed me backward to give himself road to step into my house. He came inside and closed the door behind himself, before pressing his back against it in a protective stance I'd seen from cornered animals. Was that how he felt? Cornered? My heart sank.

"From what I know, you've never lied to me, and I know for a fact that I've never lied to you. I don't want that to change. Your honesty is worth more to me than you can imagine, but I still just don't trust you...don't trust myself with you. I'm scared...terrified even, but I do care about you. I'm not ready to walk away from you, but I'm not ready to call you my boyfriend either. I won't sleep with anyone else, and I'd like it if you didn't either. We've already slept with each other, and we've hung out a million times. Dating would be moving backward and a waste of both of our time. I'm not saying we can't go on dates though. Fuck! I know I'm explaining this all wrong, and you're probably really confused. What I'm trying to say is that I still don't want to label what we are past the fact that we're exclusive. I need this move to slowly, but if there's a chance you and I could have something special, we should give it a go. I'm not expecting a miracle from you, and if at any point you feel like you want to back out, please just tell me. I'm a big boy and rejection is something I've dealt with my whole life. Don't beat around the bush or string me along because you're afraid of hurting my feelings. I've decided to be very upfront with you about what I feel and what I want. It would great if that went both ways. Is all of that okay?"

"Yes! It's perfect. It's so fucking perfect," I said unable to stop myself from moving forward and pressing my body against his. I clasped his face in my hands and captured his lips in a searing kiss. He was breathless from nerves and his long speech, but I inhaled his every gasp and pant, wanting every single piece of himself he would give me.

"Stay the night?" I asked, my lips still moving against his.

"Of course."

It was the first night that Edward and I occupied the same bed without having sex. We fell asleep in each other's arms, and I drifted off, feeling more satisfied than ever before.

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><p>So there you have it, Dolls! Click the button and tell me what you think!<p> 


	25. Chapter 25

_**SM owns.**_

**_Cocoalvin is my beta, and she rocks...obviously. _**

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><p><em><strong>Jasper<strong>_

The next morning, I awoke before Edward. His chest heaved deeply and evenly as he slept. I could only imagine how tired he must have been. I'd put him through a lot yesterday, and he'd hardly gotten any sleep. Gently, I placed a kiss over his heart and slowly unfurled myself from his body. Sometime during the night, he'd stretched out on his back, and I'd completely wrapped myself around him. It took me forever to untangle our legs and slide my arm, that was now suffering from god-awful pins and needles, from under his back. All my time and hard work was all for naught though. Once I was free, Edward rolled and wrapped his arms around me, sliding his knee between my thighs.

"Where are you going?" he asked, nuzzling my hair.

"Shower," I answered softly. "Sorry to wake you. I know you're tired."

Edward nodded sleepily but held me tighter to his chest. "Yeah, stay here with me though," he murmured.

I was more than happy to comply and snuggled right back into his strength and warmth. It didn't

take him long to fall back asleep, but I on the other hand, was wide awake, growing increasingly hungry, and had a rapidly swelling bladder. Staying in bed with him all day sounded great in theory, but in reality, I needed to get the hell up. I decided to sneak out of bed, handle a little business and return as quickly as possible.

It was easier to slide away from Edward the second time around. I stood beside the bed, rejoicing in the fact that he was in my bed by choice. I hadn't conned him into staying the night, hadn't finagled my way into staying overnight at his place, and he definitely wasn't here simply for the fact that I'd fucked him so hard, he didn't dare try to get up. Last night had been chaste, nothing but kisses and caresses. He had stayed here in my bed and in my arms because I'd asked him to, because for the first time in a long time our wishes and wants were exactly the same. Feeling elated and a little smug, I tiptoed to the guest bathroom so I wouldn't wake Edward with the sound of running water. I went through my morning routine, dressed in boxers and went down to the kitchen.

Coffee, eggs, bacon, and the newspaper completed my spread, and I sat down at the kitchen island to feed my growling stomach. I'd made food for Edward as well but wanted to wait for him to wake up on his own before I gave it to him. Almost immediately after finishing my first cup of coffee, I went over to the machine to pour myself a second. I didn't know how I missed the sound, but I jumped in shock, almost splashing my face with scolding hot liquid when I saw Edward's form in my peripheral. When I turned to face him, the automatic smile that had appeared on my face quickly dropped. He was pissed, and I was nervous. Confusion filled and chilled me as my mind scrambled to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong already.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked.

My eyes instantly flitted to where I'd been eating. I opened my mouth to speak, but Edward held up his hand to halt my speech.

"I asked for one thing. All I wanted was for you to stay in bed with me! How can you make this huge deal about me spending the night with you, about being with me, and about how you like me! You don't like me enough to cuddle for a couple more hours though! Apparently it's more important to have a fucking cup of coffee! Did you even think I might want to have coffee _with you?_ Eat _with you!_" he exclaimed angrily.

My pulse raced through my veins as fear and panic joined my confusion. He was being unreasonable, and I thought after a small conversation he would realize that as well. I reigned in the slight anger that started to sizzle the edges of my conscience because I remembered how scared Edward had been last night and probably still was this morning. Was he really upset that I'd left the bed or was he just picking a fight in order to find a way out of our new agreement? Should I be calmly explaining the unavoidable needs of the human body to eat and drink or should I be soothing and reassuring him that everything was going to work out just fine between us? The uncertainty kept me from responding.

"Edward," I said a little breathlessly. My words stopped there though because I still wasn't sure how I should be handling this. I wrung my hands as my mind went completely blank. I was startled out of my confusion and panic when I heard something suspiciously similar to a giggle. My eyes lifted just in enough time to see Edward trying to stifle a laugh. When he saw me looking, he gave up the attempt and let out a loud stream of musical laughter.

"I was just fucking with you, Jas," he confessed.

All the apprehension left my body in an audible huff of air. I tried to put an outraged expression on my face, but I'm sure I didn't even come close to pulling it off. I took a step toward Edward and made a show of balling my fists.

"You were just fucking with me?" I asked with feigned malice. His breath hitched as a spark behind those emerald eyes ignited. He nodded his head, but I shook mine.

"No, you weren't, but you will be!"

I lunged for him, but he'd already taken off. I chased him around the kitchen once, and it wasn't until he'd run into the living room that I got close enough to tackle him. We fell over the arm of the couch and landed on the cushions. Luckily, he was already shirtless, making it that much easier to tweak his dusky nipples. His gasp of surprise morphed into an appreciative moan as he arched into my less than tender touch. My Edward liked it a bit rough. I released the sensitive flesh after a while and lowered my head to take the right nipple into my mouth as I massaged the left with my thumb. My hands moved down to grab the waistband of his boxers as my head moved up to his face.

"You're going to fuck me on this couch, Edward, and after you come deep inside my ass, I'm going to take you upstairs to the shower and come deep inside yours. Sound good?"

"So fucking good!" he replied, his voice keening.

Our clothes went flying then. We were both hard and leaking as Edward wrapped his legs around my waist and thrust against me. He snaked a hand between us and took both our erections into his firm grip. His other hand weaved into my hair and pulled my head back to expose my neck. I couldn't control the loud groan that erupted from my throat as his lips lavished the skin of my neck and his hand stroked our cocks, slow but so damn tight. I was hypersensitive to every inch of myself that was in contact with Edward, and my body practically hummed with pleasure. He was always so warm, and the heat seeped into me, melting my core.

The slurp of slick cocks sliding in and out of Edward's hand filled my ears and turned me on beyond belief. I wanted the foreplay, loved the foreplay, but I needed him inside me. I'd been dreaming about it ever since the last time we slept together and couldn't wait a second longer. Edward had a knack for making me a little crazy though, and before I could express my needs, he'd flipped us over, putting himself on top of me. I moaned simply from the press of his solid weight. "Please, don't stop," I begged in spite of myself. Edward must have been more in tune with what I needed than my mouth was because he pulled his hand away immediately after I uttered the words.

I squirmed and whimpered beneath him, but I couldn't achieve any kind of friction after he pulled away from me. My complaints stopped before they even started when I realized that Edward was rummaging around in the end table, looking for the lube and condoms. I kept every room in my house well stocked with sexy time necessities. Sex was possible at any time in any room of my house, because it was a huge mood killer to abandon your lover, naked and needy, in the heat of the moment. Edward sat down, sheathed and slicked himself so quickly that I thought about calling over the people from Guinness Book of Records. The thought quickly vanished when Edward took hold of my arm and thigh and pulled me over to straddle his lap. I gasped at how easily he'd moved me. Edward wasn't a weakling, but I wasn't a lightweight either. Grabbing on to his shoulders for balance, I welded my mouth to his, kissing him for all I was worth.

A wet thumb circled my entrance, firm enough to make me moan but not so much as to enter me.

It was maddening, and whenever I pushed my hips downward, his thumb followed my movement, maintaining the slight pressure.

"Fuck! Edward, please!" I begged, breathing the words into his mouth with shameless desperation. I was achingly hard and wouldn't survive the teasing. He obeyed, and before I knew it, I was filled with two long fingers. Pain and pleasure stunned me as I shuddered, gasping for air. My head lolled back, overwhelmed and consumed by hot sensation. Edward grabbed my jaw and brought my face back to look at him. His green eyes grounded me, and his full lips soothed me.

"Stay with me, Jasper. Right here, baby."

His gaze never left mine as his fingers slid in and out of me. When he was sure I wouldn't look away, his other hand slid down my body to alternately fondle my balls and pull my throbbing cock. Watching him watch me as he fingered my ass made the already intense experience much more so. He pushed in a third finger, making us both groan at the tightness.

"I need more, Edward. Fuck me, now!"

He thrust his fingers inside me a few more times before withdrawing. He slumped in his seat on the couch and pulled me forward, lining us up. I eased myself down onto his steeled cock and watched as Edward struggled, biting his lips and fisting his own hair to keep from ploughing into me like I knew he wanted to. When my ass met his thighs, Edward leaned forward and kissed me deeply with harsh lips, teeth and tongue.

"Ride me, Jasper. Let me see you ride my dick," he whispered. I nodded my head unable to speak as I slowly rolled my hips. He'd prepared me well, but I still needed time to adjust to his depth and girth. I was just so fucking full. I moaned deeply, letting my head fall back as his hands and mouth caressed and tasted every inch of reachable skin. I gradually picked up speed, and once the burning stretch was all but gone, I wrapped my arms around his neck and bounced on his dick with reckless abandon.

"Fuck yes!" Edward growled, reaching around to spread my ass allowing me to sink even deeper on his erection. I loved the sounds he made, throaty and lustful as they rumbled from his chest straight into me. No greater melody had ever been composed. Working my hips faster, I forced more reactions from him. I pulled back to see his face crumpled in pleasure as he groaned continuously.

The hands he had on my ass moved up to clutch my waist and still my undulations. He lifted my body so that I was resting more on my knees than his thighs and kept me there.

"Ready?" he asked, looking at me with wicked lust in his eyes. I had no idea what he meant, but that didn't stop me from answering in the affirmative. Without further adieu, Edward began pistoning his dick into my ass fast and hard.

"Edward!" I roared as my hands fumbled to find purchase on his body. It was too much too fast, but I never wanted him to stop. I found myself trying to get away and slam down onto him simultaneously, but I wasn't able to do either because his strong hands restrained me. Helpless under his mind-blowing assault, I did only what I was allowed; I took it.

The pleasure coursed and burned through me like a liquid flame. It reverberated in every atom of my being, and even words like nirvana, ecstasy, and heaven didn't begin to describe what it felt like. My breath trembled and gusted out of me as I cried his name. "Oh God, Edward!"

"You like it, Jasper? Do you want me to stop?"

"No! Please don't! Please don't! I love it, Edward! I love it!"

"What about now?"

He pulled my hips forward and pushed my chest back. I inhaled a lungful of air before letting it back out in roaring sobs that made my throat sore. The new angle made the broad head of Edward's dick nail my prostate on every punishing thrust. Before I could comprehend the staggering pleasure, thick, hot ropes of cum jetted from my cock as I came harder than I'd ever had before.

"Oh, Jasper! Fuck, you feel so good! Come on my cock, baby!"

I felt as if I was shattering as my orgasm went on and on, pulling Edward over the edge with me. His shouts filled my ears as he spurted inside me, filling the condom. I collapsed against his chest, and we simultaneously wrapped our arms around each other. Needing the comfort and security. It was the first time I realized that Edward's embrace felt a lot like home.

**/ / /**

I hated leaving voice mails. When it came time to end the message, I never knew what to say and always ended up feeling like an awkward idiot. The only reason why I resigned myself to leaving one now was because this was the third time I'd called Edward's phone, and it seemed as if he wasn't going to answer again. We were supposed to be going on our first date- type situation tonight, but I had to go to an emergency meeting with my publisher and deal with a plagiarism allegation. I didn't even know which of my books someone was complaining about, but I knew they were lying. I wrote plot-light erotica. Why the fuck would I plagiarize that? My books were nothing but endless strings of euphemisms and superlatives. Unless the person trying to sue me was the publisher of a thesaurus, this was a pointless meeting.

Since this pathetic, desperate asshole was trying to get some easy money, I was going to have to cancel with Edward. That irritated me enough, but the thought of leaving the voice mail just pissed me off even more. Why the fuck wasn't he answering his phone?

"Jasper?"

I immediately stopped pacing the elevator on the way to my meeting. The call was answered, but the familiar voice on the other end was not Edward. I began massaging my temples as I literally felt my blood pressure rising.

"Riley?"

"Yeah, it's me. Hi."

"Where's Edward?" I tried to keep my tone neutral, but the strain was audible even to my own ears.

"He can't come to the phone right now. He's really sick. As I understand it, you two were going out tonight, but I really doubt he'll be able to make it."

My irritation fizzled and made room for worry. "Really sick? What's wrong with him?"

"He...Shit! Jasper can you call back later? Bye!"

"Riley! Sick, like how? What's happening? Riley!" The dial tone blared in my ear, and I let out a growl of uncontrollable fury. "Goddammit!"

I threw my phone at the closed elevator doors, but wouldn't you know it? The doors opened up just before my phone could hit, sending the device sailing threw the air. It smacked into the receptionist's desk just hard enough to pulverize it. I stepped out of the lift, took several deep breaths and just walked past the bits of my phone without picking them up.

"Clean up on aisle fucking three," I muttered to myself.

I went to the designated conference room where this sham of a meeting was to be held, but I was only there in body. My mind was with Edward...and Riley. What the hell was Riley doing there? Did Edward get sick and then call him over? I wasn't going to try and flatter myself. Esme wouldn't definitely be the first person Edward called if he was in need of some kind of help. I hoped I'd be a close third to Rose's second though. Never would I have thought that Riley would be called upon before me.

That was only a small matter though. What really bothered me was the fact that Edward was sick, really sick by the sounds of it. My vivid imagination sprang into action and horrible visions of extended hospital stays, dangerous surgeries and procedures, and lifelong battles with terminal conditions filled my head. My meeting was annoying me more than ever now. I needed to go check on Edward, and see for myself that he was okay before I worried myself into an early grave. By the time the meeting was over, I honestly couldn't remember one thing that had been said. For all I knew, I could have signed away every penny in my bank account, but all my focus was on getting my ass to Edward's apartment.

Out of breath from running up the three flights of stairs in Edward's building, I knocked on his door until it was opened...by Riley who was wearing only a pair of underwear that I knew belonged to Edward. My mind went blank as my eyes zeroed in on the low rise, square cut Armani boxer briefs. The soft fabric was black with grey seams framing the crotch and on the hemlines. It was honestly indescribable how sexy Edward looked when he wore them. They were my favorite, and I wanted Riley's scrawny ass out of them, now.

There was no doubt in my mind that Riley and Edward hadn't slept together. I trusted Edward; he was faithful to a fucking fault. Riley on the other hand was a sneaky asshole who I wouldn't piss on if he were on fire. Seeing him now, I had his game all figured out though. Men liked seeing whoever they were sleeping with in their clothes, and it was clear that Riley was using that fact in an attempt to awaken Edward to the possibilities of Riley occupying his bed. I was disgusted.

"Where the fuck is Edward?" I demanded, pushing past him.

"Please be quiet, Jasper! I just got him to go to sleep. He'll never stay in bed if he knows you're here!"

"He's not a restless toddler!" I seethed, keeping my voice low. If Edward was sick and in bed, I really didn't want to wake him.

"I didn't say that! I'm not being an asshole. Maybe you could try not to be one as well. I understand it might be a little hard for you though, so I'll settle for your best attempt."

I was going to kick his ass. I really and truly was...until Esme emerged from the hall leading to Edward's bedroom.

"Oh, settle down. You both have big dicks," she said, rolling her eyes at us. "Riley go on over to my place and see if your clothes are dry."

He gave me a parting glare, and I countered with a smug smirk. He was being dismissed, and once he was gone, I turned to Esme whose hands were planted firmly on her hips. "You really should be ashamed of yourself, bullying a kid like that," she said, settling on the couch and patting the spot beside her. I sat down, but my leg bounced anxiously. I needed to see Edward.

"Riley wants him and you know it," I replied, daring her to deny it.

"Of course he does! Riley is a young, virile college student coming into his own. Edward is beautiful and has a penis. The important thing is that Edward only wants you," she said, making me smile. Hearing those words come from a third party was pretty amazing, and a burning blush covered my cheeks.

"I know," I nodded. She was right, and no matter how hard Riley tried to get into Edward's pants, he would never succeed. "Now, tell me what's going on. How's Edward?"

She sighed and settled deeper into the couch. "He met Riley for breakfast this morning, and Ry said that he looked really pale but was otherwise okay. When they were on the Red Line on the way back here, Edward's breakfast made a reappearance all down Riley's front. By the time they got back here, Edward could barely stand, and Riley smelled like a landfill. I made him strip and put on something of Edward's, so I could wash and dry his clothes," she told me pointedly. I smiled sheepishly and gestured for her to continue. Her words may have been true, but that didn't change what I knew about Riley's motives.

"Anyhoo, there's a little rattle in his chest, and he's been coughing up something green and terrible looking. Last time I checked, his temperature was 101.8. Riley and I have been trying to wrestle medicine and fluids into him all day to no avail. I love him, but the man is a bastard when he's sick," she sighed heavily.

I chuckled and nodded my head. "Why don't you go get some rest? I'll stay with him tonight."

"I really do need a nap. I'll be right across the hall if you need anything. Edward has a key; feel free to use it and let yourself in," she said before kissing my forehead and leaving. I locked the door behind her and headed straight to Edward's bedroom. The room was darkened with the drapes closed like they had been the morning he'd bailed me out of jail. With the light filtering in from the hall, I could see his form curled in the center of the bed. I inched closer, being careful not to make too much noise, and settled down on the edge of the bed. Despite all the care I'd taken, Edward stirred when he felt the dip of the bed. His eyelids opened half way, and his sallow face became more pronounced when his cheeks flushed.

"Oh, God," he said, his voice hoarse and barely audible. My heart lurched as I caressed his clammy cheek and listened to him struggle to breathe through clogged nasal passages. "What time is it? We missed the movie didn't we? I'm sorry. Let's just go to dinner first and then catch a later showing," he rambled as he feebly attempted to get out of bed. It took no effort at all to force him back down.

"Edward, baby, you're sick. We'll go out another time. Right now, you just need to rest," I told him, soothingly.

"I'm f—" I could tell by the look on his face he had attempted to growl at me, but instead he almost lost a lung in a coughing fit that hurt my own throat just listening to the harsh sound. "I'm fine! I'm not that sick. I just need a little nap, and then we can go," he finally said.

"Okay," I nodded just to appease him. It was already late, and he could barely keep his eyes open. If he went back to sleep, I knew he wouldn't wake up again until long after the restaurants and theaters closed for the night. "Take your nap, and I'll come back to check on you soon," I told him as I stood from the bed. Considering his current condition, Edward gave an impressive show of speed and strength as he lunged for my hand. His cheeks flamed again, and his glassy green orbs wouldn't hold my gaze for longer than a nanosecond.

"What is it, sweetie?" I asked.

"Will...will you lie with me...for just a little while?" he asked, uncertainty, embarrassment and vulnerability clouding his already pitiful face. I smiled warmly and nodded my head. I stripped out of my clothes, leaving on only my boxers and undershirt, and joined him in the bed. Slowly, he moved to closer to me and wrapped his overheated body around me. I held him tight and ran my fingers through his hair, hoping the tender ministration would lull him back to sleep. He moved to bury his face in the hollow of my neck, but quickly lifted his head to look at me in the dim light.

"I'm really not sick," he said sternly. I fought the urge to scoff and simply nodded my head.

"I know, E. Just close your eyes," I replied.

There was no response from him. I think he'd fallen asleep before I'd even finished talking.

* * *

><p><strong><em>There you have it, Dolls! Now, click the button! Click the button!<em>**


	26. Chapter 26

_**SM owns.**_

**_Thanks a billion to the lovely cocoalvin!_**

**_It's overdue, but here it is..._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

Edward really was a bastard when he was sick. He didn't want to accept help of any form, but when he realized he was just too weak to do some things for himself, he became infantile, looking up at me from beneath those thick, long lashes and asking in the tiniest voice imaginable. I spent the next two days with him going from pissed off and irritated to heartbroken and smitten.

The mood swings were stressful enough, but Edward's condition was worrying the hell out of me as well. He tried to assure me that he would be okay. He'd told me that he rarely got sick, but whenever he did, it attacked him with all the wrath of the Black Death. That may have been so, but his cough was getting worse and kept him from sleeping well. He was wheezing all the time and was often too exhausted to stand for longer than a couple of minutes. His fever was higher every time I checked it, and if it didn't break soon, I feared I was going to have to take him to the hospital. On the bright side, he wasn't throwing up anymore...that could have been because he wouldn't eat anything though.

"That's gross, Jasper," he grumbled before pushing the bowl of broth I'd heated for him away.

"So was your breath this morning, but I still kissed you didn't I?" I retorted. It was a low blow, but I didn't care. He had the usual sick person's breath, and that wasn't his fault. I just really wanted him to eat, so I went around to where he sat on a stool at the kitchen island and wrapped my arms around him. As I ran my fingers through his hair, he purred appreciatively before leaning into my body. Edward liked to be held when he was sick. It was usually the only thing that could calm him down when he was particularly irritable.

"Will you just drink half of this for me? You'll never get better without some nutrients," I told him, using a gentle voice.

"Isn't the old saying feed a cold and starve a fever?"

"Yes, it is the _old_ saying, and that _old_ saying has been proven wrong by _modern_ medicine," I said.

"I'm not going to see a doctor," he replied instantly with the same stern and final tone whenever someone hinted at anything that may have, in any way, led to the discussion of a hospital visit.

"I'm not asking you to...right now. I just want you to drink a little bit of this, baby. Just a little," I implored, scooping out some of the warm liquid and holding it up to his mouth. Because of the way I was holding him, I couldn't see much of his face, but I knew that he was eyeing the broth with distaste. Eventually, he leaned forward and accepted the spoonful. I kissed him on the top of his head and continued to feed him. True to my word, I backed off after he'd finished half the bowl, and we began moving back to the living room.

Edward was exhausted and flopped down on the couch as soon as he reached it. I arranged my body around his and pulled him into to my arms with his back to my chest.

"Are you cold?" I asked.

He nodded his head, but when I reached around to feel how warm his forehead was, he was burning up. Quickly, I moved my hand around to feel the skin of his back underneath his shirt. The skin and fabric of his shirt were damp with sweat, but he was really shivering with cold. Worry slivered up my spine, as I feared he might soon get dehydrated. I'd bathed him twice already today due to his profuse sweating, and it seemed about time for a third.

"I'm going to go get you some juice, Edward. Will you drink it for me?" I asked, whispering in his ear. He whimpered helplessly and shook his head.

"I can't, Jas. I only need sleep, okay?"

"I'm scared you're going to get dehydrated. You don't want that do you?"

A long silence followed my question. I thought he'd gone to sleep, but when I tried to move from behind him, his hand reached out and grabbed my shirt.

"I don't want you to be scared," he told me groggily, making me smile. I caressed his burning cheek and kissed him before heading toward the kitchen. After pouring Edward a cold glass of orange juice, I grabbed the thermometer on my way back to him. It would be time to take his temperature again soon, and I wanted to have it on hand. When I got back to the living room, Edward was shirtless and squirming irritably on the couch.

"I need to get out of here, " he complained. "It's too hot, and my whole fucking body aches. I'm just going to go to work!"

He tried to get up, but I rushed forward and gently pushed him back onto the couch. "Be serious, Edward. You can't go to work right now," I reasoned.

His eyes lifted to meet mine, and they were filled with anguish. "I need to do _something_, Jasper."

I lowered myself onto my knees between his legs and handed him the glass of juice. "Drink that," I replied. He immediately obeyed, desperate for any activity no matter how menial. In his eagerness, he swallowed too fast and choked himself. He gasped for breath, but ended up coughing harshly. I grabbed him a tissue, knowing that mucus was sure to follow a cough that hard, and handed it to him. After he'd settled down, he balled up the tissue, but I could have sworn I saw something red mixed up in the mucus. My heart plummeted to the pit of my stomach. That couldn't have been blood...right?

My troubling thoughts were cut short when Edward sagged against me. For a fleeting second, I thought he'd passed out, but his arms curling around me told me differently. With his face resting on my shoulder, his shallow and wheezing breaths were loud in my ear.

"I want to check your temperature, E," I said, rubbing his damp back and reaching for the thermometer. I didn't give him time to protest before tightening my arm around him to keep him from moving. I stuck the thermometer in his ear—Esme and I had long since abandoned the idea that Edward would voluntarily open his mouth for an oral one—and was surprised when his rebellion was only comprised of a few whimpers and whines. I was saddened to realize my poor baby was too weak for much else. The wait for the beep of the thermometer seemed to take eons, but when it finally sounded, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I stared at the numbers for several long moments waiting for them to change. They didn't.

"Edward, baby, it's time to go to the hospital," I said, pulling him up to his feet. His head lolled as he sagged against me. He mumbled something incoherent, which only solidified my resolve and set my heart on a hundred meter dash. I gently laid him back on the couch and rushed to the bedroom to get clothes for him to put on. As I helped Edward into his sweat pants, I held my cell between my ear and shoulder to call Esme. Of course, she didn't answer though. I was forced—for the second time in a week—to leave a fucking voicemail.

"Um...Hey, Esme. It's me...Jasper. Edward's been popping Tylenol like Skittles, but his fever is 105.2 now. I'm going to take him to the hospital. Call me when you get this...okay? Bye."

I stuffed my phone in my pocket and hauled Edward to his feet. "How do feel, Edward?" I asked, anxiously looking into his face. He nodded weakly and shrugged his shoulders.

"'M okay...really okay," he mumbled.

I sighed and started toward the door, half carrying him along. Once in the car, I forced myself to remain calm and focus on driving him to the nearest hospital. My mind kept wandering though. Why hadn't I taken him to the hospital before? I knew from the very beginning that Edward was suffering from a simple cold. Now, his fever was extremely high, and there was blood in his mucus. If something happened to him, I'd never forgive myself for letting things progress this far.

Fortune was on our side though. The emergency room wasn't crowded at all, and he was helped right away.

A nurse escorted him to the back while I was made to stay in the waiting room and fill out paper work. I tried to fill out those papers, but I just couldn't. Whatever I did write was illegible due to my shaking hands, and every time a nurse or doctor came into the waiting room from the back, I would tense up, thinking they were coming to deliver me bad news. The whole situation was nerve wracking and as soon as I tossed the clipboard aside, giving up entirely, a dreaded nurse walked over toward me.

"Are you Jasper Hale?" she asked. Taking a breath, I nodded my head. "Mr. Cullen is asking for you. I've come to escort you to him if you want to see him," she told me.

I literally jumped up from my seat and hugged her. She gasped in surprise but laughed and hugged me back. "Thank you so much! How is he? Has he seen the doctor yet?" I rambled, words flying from my mouth before the thoughts had even fully formed in my head.

"He has and he should be just fine. We hooked him up to an IV and while the fever is still really high, it's already started to come down. He's got quite a bit of fluid on his lungs and a relatively bad bout of pneumonia. Dr. Gerandy is going to put some prescriptions in for to take home. I'm thinking they're going to want to keep him overnight though, to keep an eye on him and drain some of that fluid off his lungs," the nurse told me.

With all the crazy possibilities swirling in my head, pneumonia was the best possible outcome. He was going to be fine, and really, that was all that mattered. I grabbed the clipboard from the chair and motioned for the nurse to lead the way to Edward. I was anxious to see him, especially if he was asking for me. When we reached him, he was in a unit with about seven other patients and thin blue curtains provided a semblance of privacy between beds.

The nurse had already told me his fever was starting to break and that he would be fine. Looking at him against the stark white walls of the emergency room, under the harsh lighting, and amidst all the machines and groans of other pained patients, he looked a whole lot worse. His sallow skin was more shocking under the flush of fevered cheeks, neck and forehead. The dark circles around his eyes made him look like the living dead.

"Oh, sweetie," I breathed, moving toward his bed and cupping his face in my hand.

"I'm sorry," he rasped, smiling weakly. "I'm an idiot. I honestly didn't think I needed a doctor."

"Don't be sorry. I knew a long time ago that you did, but I didn't do anything because I didn't want to upset you," I responded.

There was an uncomfortable looking chair beside his bed and I quickly occupied it. Edward reached over and laced our fingers together while I finally finished up the paper work that the hospital needed. I gave the clipboard over to a nurse who came over to check Edward's vitals for the fifth time in what had to be ten minutes. It wasn't hard at all to understand why Edward had been unwilling to come here.

"I already want to go home," Edward sighed.

I opened my mouth to comfort him, but the snapping back of the curtain around us stopped me. Standing before us was the most beautiful doctor I'd ever seen. He was tall, with cornsilk blond hair, a strong jaw, and full pink lips. His eyes were amazing, a stunning emerald green. It was like looking into the eyes of...of Edward? My gaze swiveled over when Edward's sharp gasp caught my attention.

"Edward?" Dr. Gorgeous breathed, looking at Edward as if he was the ghost of Christmas of past.

Things seemed to happen quickly after that. The look on Edward's face told me more than words could. Fear, anguish, and panic were just a few of the emotions that marred his handsome features. My eyes snapped back to the doctor, but instead of looking into his eyes, I looked at his nametag.

Dr. Cullen.

The name completed the story and Edward and I jumped into motion simultaneously. Forgetting about the IV in his hand, he leaped off the bed and shouted in pain as the needle was yanked out. I caught him as he stumbled, and reached for some gauze I'd spotted on a nearby tray. I pressed it to Edward's hand and wrapped my arm around his waist to support him as we moved toward the exit. This was not the only hospital in Illinois, and Edward would receive his care from one of the many others.

Dr. Cullen rushed forward, but I heard his approach and whirled around to push him back with the arm I wasn't using to hold Edward.

"You stay the fuck away from him, asshole!" I snarled, making the man flinched away and bow his head. I couldn't be sure exactly who this man was, but I'd gathered enough to know that he was a member of the family that had disowned Edward and turned their backs when he needed them most. They'd hurt him once, and if I had anything to do with it, they wouldn't get a second chance.

As Edward and I rushed out of the hospital, we crashed into a frenzied Esme who was rushing in. She stumbled, but I grabbed the collar of her shirt with my free hand and pulled her up. She emitted an odd choking sound and gasped as I kept my grip on her shirt and towed her along with us. I didn't let her go until we reached the parking lot.

"What the fuck is happening!" Esme exclaimed.

"We're going to a different hospital," I said, ushering a tense and dejected Edward into the car. She looked from his face to mine and nodded her head, understanding without knowing a thing. I got into the car and waited for Esme to drive around to where we were parked before driving to another hospital. Edward sat slumped in the passenger seat, keeping pressure on his bleeding hand. His eyes were focused unseeingly on the windshield. The emotions that just moments ago raged over his face were now all gone, leaving his face blank and his eyes hollow.

"Edward? Are you alright?" I asked, needing to know. He nodded slowly and absently, and I wasn't sure that he was actually answering me or just trying to make me think he was listening to what I saying.

"Who was that man?"

Edward stilled beside me before pinching the bridge of his nose. "My brother."

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><p><em><strong>I have some very exciting news! Tell Me What You Want as been nominated for two Tomato Soup Awards in the the categories of:<strong>_

_**Caramel Creme Award for the best Esme**_

_**The Butterfinger Award for Cliffhanger (chap 21)**_

_**If you feel so inclined, head on over to thetomatosoupaward(dot)blogspot(dot)com and vote! Um... let it be known that I would REALLY appreciate it if you did! **_

_**So there you have it, dolls! Click that review button and let me know what you think!**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**SM owns.**_

_**My darling beta, cocoalvin, is out touring the world. If you'd like to the read beta'd version of this chapter, you'll have to wait until she comes back!**_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

I could hear the troops milling around outside my bedroom. They paced and whispered, sounding like a pit of angry snakes. Every now and again someone would knock on my door, ask me if I was okay or if they could come in. I ignored it all. My mind was too busy processing other things. It tried to keep my restless legs from running away from this city that could not hold more than one Cullen. I had to suppress the urge to run back to the hospital and hug the man who taught me how to play the piano, kicked my ass when he caught me smoking cigarettes behind the garage but said nothing when he later got in trouble for busting my lip, and didn't laugh at me when I was fourteen and honestly thought there was a monster trying to get inside my window after watching too many scary movies on Halloween.

My conflicting thoughts and feelings were uncontrollable and started to give me a headache. When a particularly harsh cough forced it's way out, I was grateful for the momentary distraction of pain in my throat and chest. I wasn't, however, grateful for the subsequent pounding on my bedroom door.

"Edward Anthony, if you don't use the good hands God gave you to open this fucking door, I'm going to use the feet he gave me and kick this bitch in!" Rosalie shouted.

I sighed heavily, but immediately got up from the bed. I went over to the door, and leaned against it.

"I'll open the door but not for you," I replied.

"The fuck? What does that mean?"

"That means when I open this door I better see a blond with a cock and not one with meat curtains."

Rosalie's furious reply was drowned out by Emmett's uproarious laughter. I was in terrible a mood, but Emmett's laughter never failed to make me smile at the very least. I covered my mouth just in case there was a chance his insulted wife might hear me snickering. My laughter died away when I heard soft knocking and a deep voice on the other side of the door.

"I'm here, baby."

I pressed my cheek against the cold, hard wood of my door, knowing that Jasper's palm was on the other side. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to steady myself. He had been so good to me. No one had taken care of me like that since my mother. He knew when to be tender and when to be firm. He coddled me but didn't take my shit. In short, he had been perfect. And the way he'd gotten me out of that hospital? It was beautiful in a way that I don't even think Jasper himself could appreciate, and I, now, felt attached to him in a way that seemed irrevocable and more terrifying than ever before.

When I finally unlocked the door, Jasper opened it just enough to slide in before closing and locking it back behind himself. My room was dim. The curtains were not all the way drawn, letting in only a small amount of evening sunlight. I looked into his blue eyes for only seconds before the tenderness I found in their depths became too much. Looking down at the pill bottle and tall glass of juice in his hands, I took my medicine and drank it down with a bit of juice before placing the glass on my dresser. His hands needed to be free because I wanted to be the only thing he was holding.

We moved over to the bed and climbed in together. Having him in the room with me improved my mood. I was still suffering through some inner turmoil, but it seemed to tone down quite a bit. He pushed me to lie on my back and rubbed soothing circles on my belly.

"May I ask about him?" Jasper whispered.

I sighed heavily, knowing that questions were inevitable. After what Jasper had done for me, he had the right to ask whatever the hell he wanted. None of that made it much easier to answer him though. I found it extremely hard to talk about my family, Carlisle especially, and that was the reason I'd locked myself in the room.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, hoping he would pick something simple.

"What's his name?"

A small smile skittered across my face. That actually was the easiest of the all the possible questions. "His name is Carlisle," I told him.

"When you told me about your family, you never mentioned a brother. I just assumed that you were an only child."

"He has different mother. When our dad got his mother pregnant, they were really young. Her family was pissed and wanted her to give Carlisle up for adoption. My dad didn't want that though. He took Carlisle and raised him as a single dad after Carlisle's mother's parents shipped her to boarding school on the East Coast. She didn't have any contact with my dad or Carlisle until she was out of college and had the means of her own to help support her son. When she came back to Forks, our dad was already engaged to my mother, and it was worked out that Carlisle would spend summers and alternate major holidays with his mother who still lived in Connecticut. When Carlisle turned sixteen, he decided that he wanted to be with his mother primarily and visit us in the summer and on holidays."

Jasper took a moment to think about what I said before continuing with his questions, "So how much older is he?"

"Eight years."

"Was he there? When you came out? When you were in the hospital?"

Apparently, the easy questions had ran out. It was on to the hard stuff. "No, he wasn't. Carlisle and I were always really close but so were my parents and I. When they turned on me, I was terrified of Carlisle doing the same. I thought it would be better to just never tell him, but after I was attacked, I didn't have many options. I called him, hoping I could come and stay with him for a while. He was in med school by then and shared an apartment with two roommates, but I knew he could make room for me if he wanted to. The first few times I called he didn't answer, but eventually, his girlfriend at the time did. She told me to stop. My dad had already told Carlisle I was gay, and if Carlisle ever wanted to talk to me again, he would call me himself. After that, I knew I was on my own," I told Jasper.

Jasper tried to hide the anger on his face by burying his face in my chest, but I still it saw it. I cupped the back of his head in my palm and kissed his crown.

"He doesn't matter anymore and hasn't for a long time. I have a new family."

Jasper and I lounged around in my bedroom for a couple more hours before Rose got pissy again. She was upset that no one had even bothered to tell her I was sick in the first place, and now, the whole thing with my brother really put her in a bad mood. Once I dragged myself into the living room, Emmett decided it was time to get some food in the place and ordered five large pizzas. It was clear that they all planned to camp out at place for the night, and that was fine by me. I would be lying if I said their presence wouldn't be beneficial in my current state. I didn't want to talk or dredge up any more memories, but I wanted to be around people who knew who I truly was and loved me all the same.

Being in their company was really great, but what really took my mind off Carlisle was watching Riley and Jasper pretend to like each other for my sake. It was endearing and hilarious in it's complete ridiculousness.

"Can someone pass me a napkin?" Riley asked despite the fact that he was enthusiastically cleaning tomato sauce off his fingers with his mouth. I looked over at Jasper who was eyeing the stack of napkins resting beside him. The battle on his face was clear as he wrestled with himself not to pretend the napkins weren't closest to him. His chest heaved with a great sigh before he picked up a few and stretched them toward Riley.

"Here you go, Riley."

"Thank you, Jasper."

"Your welcome, Riley."

I hid my smile by taking a sip of my beer. What? Did they think saying each other's name was going to help maintain the peace between them? Rose must have noticed as well and nudged me discreetly with her elbow before quirking a brow. I just smiled and shook my head in response. The night paced slowly with a succession of my favorite movies, Riley and Jasper being overly polite, Rose and I bantering back and forth, and Esme and Emmett turning everything into innuendo. It was a great night despite being terribly sick and seeing my estranged brother earlier in the day.

When I got too tired to keep my eyes open any longer, Jasper and I excused ourselves to my bedroom. It was a good thing I had such a big bed because when morning rolled around I woke to a bed full of people in various states of undress. I had to think back to the night before and make sure that I hadn't hosted an orgy. I was smashed between Jasper and Riley and trapped under Esme's leg who was on the other side of Riley. Maybe sleeping Emmett couldn't distinguish between blonds because he was on the other side of Jasper, spooning him. Rose had her back to Emmett and was sleeping peacefully, snoring like a hibernating bear.

I was already hot with fever and being in a bed with five other people only made me feel a lot hotter and claustrophobic. I needed to get out of the bed and fast. Instinctively, I knew that the quickest way to finagle my way out was to slither out at the foot of the bed. When I was finally out of bed, I crept into the kitchen and put on a pot of tea. My throat was killing me, and I needed something warm to soothe my throat.

Sitting down at the kitchen island, I let the morning sunshine and silence relax me. Relaxation only lasted so long. Fear and dejection engulfed me like a slow rising flood. From where I sat, I could see out of my living room window. Being on the fifth floor, I had a relatively decent view of the city and somewhere out there was my big brother. Was he thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him. Had he missed me at all?

"Let me listen."

Warm arms wrapped around me from behind, and soft lips brushed against my temple. Jasper. Sighing, I leaned back into his embrace and laughed lightly.

"I don't want to think about him, but I just can't stop," I whispered. I paused, but Jasper knew I wasn't done and stayed silent, waiting for me to continue. The words flowed right out then. There was so much going on in my head, and Jasper was willing to listen to it all. Willing to share my burden.

"He hurt me the worst. I was stunned when my mom and dad didn't accept me. We were a close knit family, and I just never dreamed there was anything I could do to make them not care about me anymore. At least the still talked to me though. Still tried to..._endure_ me. When Carlisle refused to speak to me though, I don't know if it was because by the time I called him he was my last hope or because I had latent feelings of abandonment and resentment from when he chose to leave and live with his mother, but whatever the reason, his was rejection was different...heavier...devastating in the way that hurricanes and earthquakes are. Literal, tangible, and unrelenting destruction of...everything."

Jasper's hands were all over me. He caressed my face, neck, back, hair, arms and thighs. It was like he was trying to smooth me back together before my memories even got the chance to shatter me.

"I hate him for the way he made me feel. We spent our whole childhood and adolescence together, building this bond that I thought was unbreakable. How stupid am I, huh?"

"No! You're not—"

His words were cut off by the sound of a stampede coming from my bedroom. It seemed everyone else had woken up at the same time and that they were all headed our way. Emmett emerged from the hall first and went straight to the fridge. Typical. Esme was still half asleep and was getting a piggyback ride from Riley who came over to kiss my cheek and then bent down further so that the girl on his back could do the same. Rose looked between Jasper and I, noticing the way he held me and the expressions on our faces. A rare look of tenderness played across her features, but it was marred by apprehension and sadness. I made a mental note to speak with her later. It had been way too long since our last talk.

"Edward how the fuck do you survive? No wonder you're so sick! You've only got half a dozen eggs in here? What kind of omelet can you make with only six eggs? You have a loaf bread and NO bacon? Rose, baby, go to Esme's place and grab some food before I resort to cannibalism," Emmett said, with absolute seriousness.

Rose rubbed his shoulder soothingly and moved over to the door. "Don't worry, Em. I'll be right back."

She opened the door and gasped, flinching back as a hand nearly knocked on her nose. My heart stopped as I saw the man on the other side of the door. How did he find me? Jasper had a different question in mind. He crossed over to where Rose was standing in two strides and pushed his way in front of her.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he growled as his blue eyes filled with protective rage. Carlisle's eyes widened, but they only filled with determination. He didn't shrink back or hang his head like he had at the hospital.

"Please," Carlisle begged. "I just need to talk my brother. I need to...explain."

Explain? What could he possibly explain? I'd be lying if I said my curiosity was the only thing that fueled my response. It was also the distress on Carlisle's face. It was the love that, no matter how much he had hurt me in the past, I would always have for him. I could appreciate the balls and courage it must have taken him to come here after the way Jasper had glared at him in the hospital. More important than all of that though was that him shunning me left me confused, hurt, and lost. Whatever he needed to say I also needed to hear.

I looked into my brother's eyes and said, "Let him in."

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><p><em><strong>In the last chapter's notes, I mentioned being nominated for only two Tomato Soup Awards. That was false. I was nominated for THREE! Tell Me What You Want is also up for the:<strong>_

**_Flatbread Award (Biggest Heart Fail)_**

**_Go on to _**thetomatosoupaward(dot)blogspot(dot)com and vote for all your faves!**__**

**__**Anyhoo, click that special little button that says Review, and tell me what you think, Dolls!**__**


	28. Chapter 28

_**SM owns.**_

_**My beta, Cocoalvin, is still globetrotting so you may want to for her to get back before you read this chapter...**_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

I turned my eyes toward my cooling cup of tea. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and the tension in the room was almost suffocating. They were probably all wondering why I was giving Carlisle this chance so easily, and if indeed they were, they would just have to keep on wondering. My nerve wasn't going to hold up long enough to explain it to them right now. Just thinking about hearing the answers Carlisle might have to my questions had me on the verge of slamming the door in his face and locking myself up in my room again. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to forgive him and terrified that I would.

"Well come on in damn it!" Rose snapped, being mean just because that was her default setting when she was out of her depth.

Because I was still staring into my cup, I didn't see Carlisle invade my home, but I heard his quiet steps as if they were boulders rolling down a mountain. He walked until he was standing right beside me. My whole body tensed, fearing that he was going to touch me. His stare was burning me enough; I really didn't want to feel what his touch would be like.

"Guys, head over to Esme's, alright?"

There was a chorus of 'of courses' and 'sures' as they all shuffled out the door. Jasper, however, came back to me. He leaned over until his nose was in my hair. He didn't say anything, just nuzzled me for a moment. It was everything I needed. I sat straighter in my seat and looked up from my cup. I had nothing to fear. Carlisle did. I'd accepted my family for what they were and moved on. It was my brother's turn to do the same.

When Jasper left, the silence between Carlisle and I stretched on. Where to begin? Too much time had passed and too many things had gone unsaid. I waited for him to speak because he'd sought me out. He apparently had something to say.

"Will you please look at me? I've missed you...so much."

Rage consumed me. My gaze snapped up to meet his, and as quickly as it came, my rage was swept away. My brother and I looked nothing alike; we both took after our mothers. When it came to the eyes though, we were identical. They were the same shape and impossible shade of green. Looking into his eyes was like looking into a mirror. It was like looking into the eyes of our father.

"Have you? I'm so fucking sorry to have worried you, Carlisle," I said, my anger surprising me with it's sudden return.

He made a sound that was a cross between a gasp and a whimper. I could tell he wanted to hang his head again, but he fought against it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I never wanted you to think...you're still my brother, Edward. I still love you...never stopped," he replied in sentences that were hard to understand because of their disjointedness and obvious falsehood.

"Yes, because people always abandon those they love after they've been attacked, need your fucking help or just need to hear your fucking voice at the very least! I was in the hospital, in pain and alone, and you refused to speak to me! You had your girlfriend tell me not to call you anymore!"

He buried his face in his hands before pushing them through his hair and clutching the strands at the scalp."I didn't know you were in the hospital! If I had known you were hurt, I would have answered. You know that!"

I shook my head and got off the stool. There needed to be more space between us. "I don't know that, Carlisle. I don't know that at all."

"Listen to me, Edward. I'm not saying that what I did wasn't wrong. I know I fucked up, and I'm not expecting you to forgive me. I really hope and pray that you will, but I'm prepared for that not to happen. I came here because I need you to know my side of the story. I know it's bad no matter how you look at it, but I didn't just flat out abandon you," he said.

I was pissed that he didn't expect me to forgive him. I didn't plan to, but I wanted my rejection of him to be just as shocking and painful as his rejection of me had been. Crossing my arms over my chest, I turned my back to him, not wanting to look at his distressed face anymore. Why should I feel sorry for him?

"When Dad called to tell me that you were gay, he was so angry. He was yelling about how disappointed and disgusted he was. He was crying and wondering where he'd gone wrong with you. I admit that I felt sorry for him. I'm not proud of that, but I did because I'd never seen or heard Dad cry before. When we got off the phone, I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I was so confused because the last time I'd saw you, I walked in on you and some girl doing a sixty-nine. From what I remember, both of you were thoroughly enjoying what you were doing. I couldn't reconcile that Edward with an Edward that preferred men.

"We grew up in the same town, Edward. I didn't know anything about being gay and couldn't understand why you would choose to be with men after all those years of chasing everything in a skirt. I thought you were different, and I needed to sort my thoughts and figure out how I felt about your decision. Dad's reaction had to have hurt you, and I didn't want to call you with accusations of my own before I'd even wrapped my head around what I'd been told.

"There was a gay guy in one of my classes. His name was Seth, and I asked him if he would be willing to talk to me about his lifestyle and what made him gay. He laughed in my face at first, but he did help me to understand that being gay isn't a choice. It's something you're born into...just the same as being straight. I explained to him that you couldn't have been born gay because you fucked girls all the time, and Seth told me that you were either confused or scared to come out. That in his case, he was confused, and it's not uncommon for a young gay men to try and convince himself and others that he's not different from everyone else."

Carlisle paused after that and took a deep breath. He seemed to be working up the nerve to say the rest, and my whole body tensed. What could be worse than what he'd already said? Was he now going to admit that he was a bigoted asshole? That despite coming here to see me, he didn't want anything to do with me?

"After that...I was...hurt," he said, causing me to bring my fist to my mouth. I bit down on my knuckles to keep me from physically harming him. He'd thought he was hurt back then, but that would be nothing compared to how I wanted to hurt him now.

"I was mad that, despite how close we were, you didn't trust me enough to be honest with me. That you felt like you had to hide from me. My girlfriend, at the time, was upset because I was upset. That's why she said what she did that day. I didn't even know she'd talked to you until two days later when I commented on the fact that you'd stopped calling. She had no right to say that to you, and I sincerely apologize for that. I got so mad at her for speaking for me. We got into this huge argument, and I yelled about how you were still my brother, that she'd probably hurt you and how upset she'd probably made you.

"My own words struck me first. I'd said everything I couldn't figure out before. You were still my brother...the same Edward I'd always known. There really wasn't anything to adjust to or wrap my head around. Your love life had never been my business before and it still wasn't. Then her words struck me after that. She said that if I was so concerned about not hurting you, I would have called you already or answered your calls. I wouldn't be avoiding you when you were probably having a harder time than I was.

"I wanted to kick my own ass because she was absolutely right. I was being a self-centered asshole, and you obviously needed me. I called you right after I realized what an idiot I'd been, but your cell was disconnected. Then I called the house, and your mom answered. She told me that you'd just gotten home from the hospital the night before, and you were still in bed. She was so blase about the whole thing and so was dad. I was so fucking mad that they didn't seem to care that you'd been hurt. I got on a plane and came to Forks as soon as I could, but when I got there, they told me that you'd robbed them and ran away. They were more upset that you'd stolen their money than the fact that they didn't know where you were. They hadn't called the police or asked around to see if anyone knew where you'd went.

"Dad and I fought like we'd never had before. It honestly almost came to blows, but that doesn't matter. He doesn't matter. I was scared out of my mind that something could have happened to you, that you'd go looking for help in the wrong place or that someone would see a young, desperate kid all on his own and take advantage. I tried to find you, Edward. I went to the police, but they seemed more bothered than concerned. You were months away from being of age, and since you'd left of your own volition, there was no reason to believe you were in any immediate danger. They weren't any help at all, and neither were any of the people in town. They all knew what happened and guessed why you'd left. I called all the neighboring cities' police stations, but it's surprisingly hard to get help to find a seventeen year-old runaway.

"I sought the help of a nearby Gay-Straight Alliance center, and they suggested I search Seattle and other large cities. They told me you'd probably run to a big city where you'd find more acceptance than another small town. It was hard juggling med school and being the entire search party for my brother when those tasks were on opposite sides of the country. Edward, it never even crossed my mind that you'd leave the fucking state until almost a year later. It took another year to track you down to California. By then you really were an adult and privacy laws are a fucking bitch. I had nothing to go on but you're name and picture.

"Eventually, a guy called and told me that you used to work at Hollister, but quit because you got a job at Gucci. I was happy because for the first time in a long time, I had a lead. I searched every Gucci store in California only to find out that you'd gotten a promotion and relocated, and they weren't allowed to give me any more information than that. Gucci has locations all over the fucking world, and you could have been at any one of them. That was a huge setback, and I admit that the search started to take a back seat to the internship I'd gotten at New York Presbyterian. I'd more or less given up and accepted that I'd lost you forever. A little over a year ago, I moved here. Accepted a job at the University of Illinois Hospital. Then yesterday happened and there you were...in my hospital...right under my nose. I stole your address from your file, and now, here I am."

I took in and evaluated everything he'd said with shocking speed. The instant he stopped speaking I whirled around and started in on my response. If I was being completely honest, the things he said had me more conflicted and anguished than before.

"You are a self-centered asshole, Carlisle. Maybe you didn't know anything about being gay. Maybe you were stunned and confused, but the fact that you felt it was easier to take your questions to a stranger than to just fucking ask me pisses me off! I would have preferred you bombarding me with questions than killing me with silence. You were mad at me for hiding from you, but you did the exact the same thing!" I fumed.

"I know and I'm sorry!" he replied, taking a step toward me. I pushed him back to where he'd been and jabbed a finger in his direction, warning him not to try to approach me again.

"I don't want to hear another 'I'm sorry' come from your mouth. You said it already, and that was more than enough. Apologies don't mean shit to me!"

Carlisle sighed and nodded his head. I forced myself to look away from him again. The look on his face was so helpless, so despaired and defeated. All at once, I reveled in his heartache and felt ashamed for doing so. I scrubbed my face with my hands and took several calming breaths.

"Carlisle, I do want to thank for coming here and telling me your side of the story. It's good to know that you were worried about me, you tried to find me and that you still love me. I still love you too, and that will never change. We're just alike in so many ways, and one of those ways is our self-involvement. When you found out about me being gay you didn't take into consideration what I was going through. It was all about you, and that's perfectly fine because after I left I didn't spare you a passing thought either. My life is so much fuller and satisfying without you in it, and as of now, I don't see any reason why I should backtrack and invite you back in it," I told him in a cool tone.

"I've got a terrible headache. I need to take my medicine and have a long fucking nap. I'm going to ask you to leave now and not return unless you are bidden."

He opened his mouth and closed it several times. It seemed he had no idea what to do with himself. He started toward the door, and just when I really thought he'd leave, he turned back.

"Is there really no hope?" he asked in a small voice that was highly uncharacteristic of him. Then again, what did I really know about him anymore? I struggled to answer his question though. No matter how much I wanted to tell him no, I couldn't. The word refused to leave my mouth but so did the word yes. Because of my new incapability to speak, I remained silent.

"May I leave my number with you? Just in case?" he asked. I felt myself nod jerkily, so ready for him to leave me alone. Plus, it felt like I might pass out if I didn't lie down soon.

He placed a card on my kitchen counter and quickly made his way to the door as if he couldn't be in the same room with my any longer either. He paused once to mutter a farewell over his shoulder, and then he was gone. Fatigue hit me harder than a wrecking ball, and it was a miracle that I even made it to the bed before I fell asleep.

I didn't how know exactly how long I slept, but when I awoke to a hand shaking my shoulder, it was dark outside. From the moonlight filtering into my room, I could just make out Jasper's golden locks and strong jaw.

"Didn't go well, huh?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside me.

I sighed and shook my head. "I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Okay. You've been asleep all day, and we just wanted to check on you, make sure that you take your medicine and get something to eat. Rose and Emmett left, but she made our mother's chicken and rice recipe. She thought you might be ready for more than just broth now," he told me.

I nodded my head just to let him know I was listening. Jasper leaned forward over my body and put his hand on my forehead. He smiled down at me and moved his hand to my neck, checking my glands. "You're fever's almost gone. How does your throat feel? Still sore?"

Flinching away from his hand, I rolled onto my side away from him. The touch that had given me comfort and strength earlier in the day now made my stomach roil and my skin crawl. I needed him to leave.

"You've been such a great help. I can't thank you enough for taking care of me the way have. You've gotta be tired out though. Why don't you head home and get some rest?"

"I can rest here, just like I have for the past week and a half," he replied.

"Jasper, I'm not that sick anymore. I can take of myself, and if I need help, Esme is right across the hall. I don't need you to babysit me."

I'd meant to coax him gently into leaving on his own. Apparently, I had no control over my agitation, and my words were turning a lot harsher than I wanted them to. Jasper grabbed my shirt and pulled me onto my back again. He clutched my face in his hand and forced me to look at him.

"You're upset. I get that. I won't crowd you, but I'm not going to let you push me away either. Not because of that asshole," he said, almost growling.

"I'm not pushing you away. I just want be alone so that I can think," I said, two percent sure that I wasn't lying.

He looked at me for a long time before leaning all the way forward and pressing his lips against mine. The kiss went from zero to sixty in no time flat. His mouth was rough, demanding, and claiming as he kissed me with all he had. Tilting my head, I thrust my tongue into his warm mouth and tried to keep up. It wasn't long before I was moaning my surrender and letting him do what he wanted. Just lying there and feeling good was exactly what I needed. If he was going to use words and affectation to try and make me feel better, he had to leave, but if he was going shut up and fuck me stupid, he could stay as long as he wanted.

My cock filled so fast it made me lightheaded. Jasper had been sleeping in my bed and showering with me for the past ten days, and we hadn't had sex once. I was more than a little horny, but just as I ready to start taking our clothes off, Jasper suddenly broke the kiss and stood from the bed, severing all physical contact.

The whimper that severance invoked from me wasn't one of my proudest moments, but I couldn't seem to help myself. A smug smile stretched across Jasper's face as he leaned over me again, planting his knee right under my crotch and his hands on either side of my head. Like a shameless slut, I rode his thigh, desperate and eager for any scrap of friction he would allow.

"I'm going to leave now, but you had better fucking call me, Cullen."

He bent to give me one more kiss. Then he was gone, and I was alone. It should have alarmed how comfortable I was with that particular feeling, but it didn't.

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><p>So I want to thank you all so much for voting for me in The Tomato Soup Awards! <strong><em>Tell Me What You Want<em>** took home the prize of The Butterfinger Award (Best Cliffhanger in chap 21). If I could, I would send Edward and Jasper out to have threesomes with you all! Well, actually that might be a little gross...but you know what I'm saying!

Now, click review my dear dolls and let me know what you think!


	29. Chapter 29

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks a million to my beta, cocoalvin!**_

_**Alright, dolls, I've through hell and back with this chapter. I battled through writer's block and a family crisis to write this chapter. And just when I was getting back on track, Aphrodite's Smile set me back another week by introducing me to my new addiction. So after much blood, sweat, and tears, here's the chapter! Hope you enjoy...**_

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><p><em><strong>Jasper<strong>_

He didn't call. He didn't call the next day or the following three days after that, but was I upset? Not one bit. I was actually amused. I cared about Edward more than I'd like to admit, and it was laughable if he thought not calling was going to make me go away. I hoped that he spent those days away from me regaining his strength because I planned on putting up one hell of a fight to keep him.

My needing to fight for him was only plan B though. His brother coming back into his life had to be devastating at best. It might have been that he truly needed time alone to think. In the time that I'd known Edward, I'd come to realize that he was the type of person that would only talk about what was going in his head after he'd sorted everything out for himself first.

Whatever the reason, the time I spent away from him was beneficial to me in a way as well. I'd been so wrapped up in him, I'd forgotten about the things I needed to do like my laundry, paying my bills and running a few errands. I'd been ripped a new one by my publisher's lawyer for dropping off the face of the earth during the lawsuit, but fortunately, the allegations of plagiarism had been easily proven false and done away with. Now, all I had to do was get some groceries, and then go kick Edward's door in. I breezed through the grocery store, shopping the only way I knew how. I walked down the aisles, pushing cans that were green and meat that was red into my basket. I grabbed the four B's; breakfast, bread, butter, and beer. Then finally, I embarked on the bonus round and picked up anything that made my mouth water.

I pulled into my driveway at the exact time I knew Edward got off work—thanks for a tip I'd gotten from Esme. If I put away my groceries quickly, I'd be able to coincide our arrival at his apartment. I had a foolproof plan and two back up plans just in case. While the days we'd spent apart were good for taking care of business, I missed him like crazy. I was worried that he wouldn't be taking his medicine properly, that he would work too hard, trying not to think about his brother, or that he was really upset and too proud to ask for help.

With thoughts and images of Edward depressed and alone swirling around my head, I grabbed every bag in my trunk and moved quickly into the house. The sights and smells in my kitchen made me drop everything, causing my heart to skip a beat and my breath to catch.

"I was going to make you dinner, but all I found in here was a box of Hot Pockets, spoiled milk, and stale potato chips. So, I called Triple Crown and ordered some Chinese," Edward said as he opened containers of delicious smelling chicken fried rice, Mongolian beef, egg rolls, and various other delights. My mind lingered on the food for only moments though; a smile spread across my face as my feet carried me to the beautiful auburn haired man before me. I noticed a faint blush redden his cheeks before he stepped into my embrace.

"You didn't call," I accused as I placed kiss after kiss on his neck and jaw.

"But I came," he replied.

"You did."

Edward tilted his head to look me in the eye, and I couldn't help but smile. He wasn't grumpy, fatigued, or sallow. Being able to see him beautiful and healthy again felt like a gift to me, and I kissed his lips in slow and tender appreciation.

"And I missed you...so much," he said against my lips.

"Not as much as I missed you."

He grinned brightly before taking my hand and pulling me over to my almost forgotten groceries where we worked quickly to put everything away and then made our way toward the island where he'd arranged all the food. I took my seat as he moved around the kitchen gathering napkins and drinks for us. When he sat on the stool beside me, I grabbed one of the rungs and dragged him closer. He flashed me a quick smile before pulling apart his chopsticks. We caught up with one another as we ate, talking about what we'd done over the last few days and a series of other unimportant things. I had so many questions about Carlisle but now wasn't the time to ask him, and we both knew it. There were more pressing matters we needed to take care of first, and those matters led us up to my bedroom.

Walking into the room, the first thing I noticed was a black duffle bag on the floor of my closet. Edward was planning to stay over, and if the stuffed look of the bag was anything to go by, he was going to be over for quite a while. I turned in his arms and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Suddenly, my need for him was unbearable. I gasped in surprise when my pivot was met by a shove from Edward that landed me on the bed on my back. Apparently, I wasn't the only one feeling the urgency.

"How long has it been?" I asked, trying to pull him down on top of me.

"Way too fucking long," he moaned. Resisting my efforts, he sank to his knees at the foot of the bed instead and reached for the clasp of my jeans. Simply knowing what he was about to do had me bucking my hips and moaning like a whore. It never took much to get me hard whenever he was in the room, and today the man was about to make my cock explode. I was too hard, and it hurt so bad. He knew exactly how to make it all better though.

"Please," I begged, writhing on the mattress impatiently even though his hands were flying, freeing me from my clothes. Clutching the sheets, I bit down on my bottom lip, needing the pain to distract me as Edward wrapped his hand around the base of my cock. Anticipation made my chest heave and my heart thunder. He started with just one long, slow lick that ended with him swirling his tongue around the thick head of my cock. Involuntarily, my hips began to buck again, but Edward pressed his free hand down on my hip to keep me still. He glanced up at me with pure wickedness lighting his green gaze before he swallowed my entire cock.

My eyes grew as wide as saucers and my back bowed off the bed. That was one thing I loved about Edward he rarely ever teased; when he gave me a blowjob, he went directly for the kill shot. My hands flailed as the muscles in my abdomen tightened. It felt so fucking good and I wasn't going to last long at all. I wanted to be inside him though, and I couldn't decide if I wanted to get the first orgasm out of the way so that I'd have a bit more stamina to fuck his brains out or if I just wanted to have him right now. The decision was lifted from my hands when my dick was suddenly released from the heat of Edward's mouth into the cool air in my bedroom.

"Don't hold back, baby. We've got all night," he said breathlessly.

Sucking in a deep breath, I nodded my head. His hands roamed up my thighs; one hand cupped my balls while the other thumb moved to massage the sensitive skin just behind them. Edward took my dick back into his mouth, swirling his tongue and rapidly bobbing his head with all the suction of an F5 tornado.

"Ah! Fuck! Edward!"

I should have been embarrassed at how quickly I came, but with the way my man used his mouth, I was sure it would happen to anyone. Edward moaned loudly as my orgasm pulsed into his mouth and I gripped his hair in a way that was probably painful to him. My control was shot though and there was no sign of him objecting to the rough treatment. Long after the tidal waves of bliss had stopped pummeling my body and the tension had drained from my body, I found the strength to let go of Edward. He climbed up onto the bed to lie beside me, pulling my limp form into his arms and kissing my forehead.

"Rest, lover. I'm giving you fifteen minutes to get it back up for me," he whispered.

I looked over at him incredulously. "Fifteen minutes?' He smiled and nodded his head.

Smirking, I rolled on top of him and began relieving him of his clothes. "For you? All I need is five, baby."

Three hours and several rounds of depravity later Edward and I were in my bathtub, wrinkling into prunes because we were too exhausted to get out of the cold water. He had his legs and arms wrapped around me so that we could generate some body heat between us, but I was starting to get worried that he might get sick again if we stayed in much longer.

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" I asked, hoping the answer was no.

"Nope."

I smiled. "Good. I'd like to take you out. Make up our cancelled date."

He was behind me, so I couldn't see his face. I knew he was smiling though, and when he leaned forward to nuzzle his nose in my hair, I couldn't help but smile as well.

"Of course," he whispered. "I'd like that."

It was another ten minutes before we finally got out of the tub and got ready for bed. Edward must have been more worn out than I thought because he was asleep the instant his head touched the pillow. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep at all. As I lay on my side, all I could do was stare at the duffle bag Edward had brought over with him. For some reason it just looked so odd there on the floor of my closet. It didn't belong there and something in my gut kept telling me there was a better place for it. It was going to drive me mad, and I needed to do something with it. Eventually, I threw the covers back, got out of bed, and picked it up. Before I'd made any definitive plans in my head, I was making space in my dresser and closet, organizing his clothes in with mine, putting his tooth brush in the holder, and arranging his toiletries on the shelves in the bathroom. After everything was unpacked and put in it's rightful place, I felt much better. I stored the duffle bag at the back of the closet and then finally went to sleep peacefully.

The next morning Edward and I both slept in. We ventured out of bed for coffee and muffins in the morning and for soup and sandwiches later on, but for the most part we were content to lazily snuggle in bed and watch TV all day. We didn't talk much, but we did decide on a movie and place to have dinner for our date. I was a bit giddy thinking about the date, but there something else that needed to be brought to attention before that. I was dying to ask him about his brother.

"What did Carlisle say the day he came by your place?" I asked, hoping my question wouldn't kill the easy mood we'd maintained all day. Edward sighed, nestling deeper into the crook of my neck as if seeking refuge. I thought he wouldn't answer, but he surprised me and relayed the events in excruciating detail. It was as if he'd memorized every word, breath, expression, emotion and gesture of the conversation. I had a clear and painful image of how everything had transpired and decided to wrap my arms tighter around him. He seemed exhausted by the time he reached the end of his story and looked up at me expectantly. I knew he wanted my opinion, and I gave it to him with total honesty.

"He tried and he loves you, E. When you really boil it all down, that's all that matters, right?"

Instantly, I knew that Edward didn't agree. His face darkened into a scowl as his hands that had been resting flat on my back balled into fists.

"I can't forgive him. I don't _want_ to. The years I spent scared, alone, rejected, and struggling to survive do matter, Jasper. Those few precious days he spent avoiding me could have made all the fucking difference in my life and—"

I was certain there was more he wanted to say, but he was silenced by the sound of my front door banging open.

"Sweets, I used my key! I have too much crap, and I just couldn't wait for you to come open the door!"

My heart beat so fast it hurt. Edward looked up at me with confusion and panic in his eyes. I wanted to reassure him, but I wasn't sure things were going to be fine at all. Honestly, I would have preferred her to just drop in when I was fucking Edward over the kitchen counter. At least then she would have probably left. As it was, I would have to move heaven and earth to get her out of here.

"Mom, you know I love you, but I really wish you would call before you come over!"

Panic edged all the confusion out of Edward's eyes, and he scrambled to get out of bed. Unfortunately, he was too tangled in the sheets and hit the floor with a thud that I'm sure the good people of Zimbabwe heard. The silence that followed was brutal, and my whole body tensed, preparing for whatever came next.

"Jasper? Is there someone up there with you, honey?"

I couldn't lie to my mother, but still I looked to Edward for help. He was absolutely none because his concentration was elsewhere. As soon as he picked himself up off the floor, he shot into the closet, looking for clothes to put on. After some comically frantic searching, he came back out of the closet, looking like a hunted animal.

"Where the fuck is my bag?" he whispered urgently.

Shit.

"I put it away! I...I made room for your things in the closet and in my dresser." Too much was happening at one time; this was not at all how I'd planned for Edward to find out what I'd done. Actually, I hadn't planned anything. I'd integrated him into my home on impulse, and it was clearly not one of my better ideas. Edward looked totally stunned like he'd just been ambushed. In a way, I guess he had been. With no idea of what to do, I pushed him back into the closet and turned my attention back to my mother who was still waiting for my reply.

"Just stay down there, Mom. I'm on my way down now!"

Ignoring Edward, I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and flew out of my room like a bat out of hell. My mother was down in the kitchen unloading several canvas bags full of food. She smiled knowingly at me as I approached her and leaned forward to kiss my cheek.

"Sorry," she whispered, once she pulled back. "Your father's out of town on business and you know how lonely I get in the huge condo all by myself. So I decided it was a good time to have dinner with my beloved children who never come see me or answer my phone calls. I invited Rose over too, by the way, she should be here soon. I'm sorry if I interrupted before you and your guest could bone or whatever you kids call it these days," she said with a good-natured roll of her eyes.

I didn't a chance get to respond, because Edward suddenly appeared at my side just then. Despite how shell shocked he'd been upstairs, he was composed, smiling, and seemingly at ease now. Instinctively, I reached out to lace our fingers. Maybe I was hoping to steal some of that calm confidence he was exuding by way of physical contact. The attempt proved fruitless as I watched my mother eye what could be construed as a very unusual action from me, considering my no commitments and no relationships lifestyle. She quirked her brow in surprise, but there was also hope lighting her blue eyes as they flitted between us.

"Edward this is my mother, Maggie. Mom, this is my boyfriend Edward."

The light grip Edward had on my hand quadrupled, and the subsequent creaking of my bones was audible. I closed my eyes and took a few minutes to wonder just what the fuck was really wrong with me.

"Boyfriend?" Mom asked. "Like a real, honest to God boyfriend? A boyfriend as in someone you'll sleep with more than once? You'll spend time getting to know? Someone that you truly care about and decided was good enough to meet your mother?"

I didn't even bother reminding her that she had barged into my house unexpectedly, and this was not an official meeting that I'd arranged. I simply wrenched my hand out of Edward's death grip and stepped away from them. My mother then shrieked like a wild banshee and threw her arms around Edward. Breathing a heavy sigh, I went over to my liquor cabinet and poured what I was sure would be the first of many drinks tonight.

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><p><em><strong>There you have it lovelies! Tell me what you think!<strong>_


	30. Chapter 30

_**SM owns.**_

_**Thanks so much to my beta, cocoalvin. **_

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><p><em><strong>Edward<strong>_

What. The. Fuck. Those three little words were repeated in my mind over and over again. I had absolutely no understanding of what was happening around me. Jasper had unpacked my things and put them in with his own. I vehemently pushed that thought away. I couldn't think about all the implications of that while Jasper's mother still had me locked in a bear hug. She was a very slender woman with a long wavy mane of dark hair. While her hair was the complete opposite of her fair-haired children, it was evident that they'd inherited her pretty pale blue eyes. She had a kind face and a warm smile; I was pretty sure that if I wasn't so overwhelmed I would have found her embrace comforting.

"My son has kept you a secret from me, Edward, so I won't be trusting him to give me all the facts. But you, I am sure, will dish out the dirty details. Tell me everything; how did you meet, how long have you been seeing each other, and just what kind of super powers do you possess that made my son finally mature and settle down in an adult relationship," she said excitedly as she looped her arm through mine and guided me toward the living room.

"Well, actually, Edward was my friend first, and then Jasper swooped in one night at a club and harassed Edward until he agreed to sleep with Jasper. I'm guessing that answers the super power question as well because obviously Edward is working magic and performing miracles in the bedroom in order to keep Jasper crawling back for more. And this whole farce they're calling a relationship has been going on for about seven months," Rosalie supplied as she waltzed into the room.

Mrs. Hale glared at her daughter. "A farce, huh? That's exactly what I called your marriage and look how that turned out? I can now rest assured that my boy will at least get seven years out of Edward before inevitable failure," she shot back.

My mouth opened in surprise. How could this woman be so sweet to me but so vicious with her own daughter? My shock quickly turned into understanding as twin smiles spread over the two women's faces. Rose pranced forward and wrapped her arms around her mother.

"I've missed you, mommy! You don't hate me for not calling, do you?" Rose asked.

Mrs. Hale nodded her head and kissed her daughter's face. "Of course I do, but you can be redeemed by helping your brother start the broth I'll need for tonight's dinner while I chat with the very gorgeous Mr. Edward here," she replied.

Rose beamed, grabbed Jasper by the collar and dragged him back into the kitchen. He was cradling his second glass of whiskey and refusing to meet my eyes. I scowled at him anyway, knowing he would feel the hostility even if he couldn't see it. When he was out of sight, Mrs. Hale called my attention back to her and pulled me down to sit beside her on the couch.

"So, is what my Rosie said true? Did Jasper stalk you and corrupt your delicate sensibilities?"

Despite all my nerves, I laughed and shook my head. "Not exactly, Mrs. Hale. He did stalk me, but I'm not sure who corrupted who."

My response earned me a wide grin as she scooted closer to me on the couch. "Call me Maggie, sweets. Everyone does, even my kids occasionally," she replied before placing her hand on my knee.

"After what Rose said, I remember her talking about you. I think it's best to let you know now that she's told me some things about you, things that maybe you wouldn't be comfortable with me knowing. I'm her mother though, and she confides in me when she needs to ease her mind, you know? She didn't give me any real details, of course, but she worries because she loves you dearly. I'm hoping you won't be mad at her because she couldn't have known that things would end up this way.

"Anyway, I know that you've been hurt by your family and past lovers, and I also know that you're a good man. I think that my Jasper is very lucky to have you in his life. Though I know my son isn't perfect, I think you're lucky to have him too. I say that because while I only know small pieces about your past, I know everything about Jasper's past. It's understandable that you might find it hard to trust him or wonder where this relationship can really go, but I think you should give him a chance. He's a good man too," Maggie told me with a gentle smile.

I needed a drink...some space...some time..._something_. I knew that her speech was meant to encourage me to take a chance, to give Jasper and me a real shot at the happiness that may or may not be in the cards for us, and there was a small part of my brain that did ruminate on that. Mostly though, all I could think about was how jealous I was. Here was this woman, this mother who didn't even blink an eye when her son introduced her to another man, claiming that man as his boyfriend. Looking at this woman before me was like watching a fairytale manifest right before my eyes. She was the mother I'd always wished I had but thought was nothing more than a myth. She represented everything that I would never have, and my reasons for not forgiving Carlisle were solidified and justified by her existence.

I didn't know if she expected a response to her words or not, but she seemed to understand my silence. When she leaned in to hug me for the second time of the night, I reciprocated with fervor. The embrace warmed me from the inside out, and no matter how much confusion was going on between Jasper and me, I knew that I would enjoy Maggie's company tonight.

"Thank you," I murmured before pulling out of the hug. She smiled at me brightly and rose from her seat.

"Now, let me get in the kitchen and start dinner. I'm making chicken and dumplings! It's my great-grandmother's recipe, and I swear it's to die for," she said proudly.

Once in the kitchen, I found myself stepping up beside Maggie, offering to help her cook. Already, I'd begun to feel attached to her. I was awed by her easy acceptance of her son and smitten with her warm vivaciousness.

"Thanks, but no thanks, sweetheart. Cooking is the only therapy I have, and I need to do it in solitude," she smiled. "I would love it if you got Jasper away from the booze though. I'd like him to be coherent at dinner."

Chuckling, I nodded my head and set off to handle the task she'd set for me. During the first few steps on my way to Jasper, I was still smiling and happy from being around Maggie, but the closer I got to her blond boy my good mood began to fade rapidly. How was I supposed to keep up light and easy conversation with him when there were so many other important things we needed to discuss? It appeared that Jasper was thinking along the same lines because when I entered his office, where he was letting Rose read the first chapter of his next book, he rushed forward and grabbed my hand. He laced our fingers, and I had to turn my eyes away from the pleading look in his.

"Edward, I didn't me—" Jasper began, but I didn't want to hear it. Not right now anyway. His family was here, and it just wasn't the time to talk. Taking the glass of whiskey from him, I drank the remaining liquid down in one big gulp and held up the empty glass for him to see.

"Enough of this, alright?" I asked, harshly changing the subject. Rose glanced up at me over the pages Jasper had printed out for her. The look was too short to even label as fleeting, but it was all she needed to assess the whole situation. In one smooth movement she was out of her seat and then the door, muttering something about having to piss like a racehorse. Once the door clicked closed behind her, Jasper was talking again in hushed tones.

"I had no idea they were coming. She just barged in. You do know that, right? I'm not trying to force you into anything," he said.

"Aren't you though?" I hissed back, making Jasper grimace and flinch away. We both knew I was talking about the business with my clothes and not his mother, but I still felt like an asshole. I hadn't meant to say that at all. My mind was going a mile a minute, and I wasn't composed enough to have this conversation whether his family was here or not. Cupping my hand around the nape of his neck, I pulled him forward to kiss his lips before leaning my forehead against his.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. Let's just talk later, okay? After everyone leaves?" I suggested, and he nodded his agreement before wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me into his chest. His kiss was hungry and forceful, filled with panic and need. I clutched the back of his shirt in my fist and tried to keep up, but I was lost in him. My cock became engorged and my hips rubbed against his, inviting him to relieve his stress more intimately than with just this frantic kiss.

I moaned loudly as his tongue lavished the inside of my mouth. Despite all the liquor he'd imbibed, his lips didn't get sloppy. His movements were focused and insistent as he backed me into the wall and tugged at the buttons holding my jeans together.

"Jasper, your mother is downstairs!" I gasped as he shoved my jeans and underwear down past my ass.

"I just...please, Edward. I can't take it when you're mad at me. I just want to feel you and make you come, okay?" he said breathlessly, freeing his own erection. Jasper's urgency was then added to the list of things I was confused and overwhelmed by. I couldn't understand why he was feeling this way at this particular moment. My dick was so hard though that I didn't ponder on the matter for too long. All I could do was give him what he needed.

"She'll hear us," I whimpered helplessly as he took both of us in his spit-slicked fist. He craned his neck to look at me and smiled wickedly.

"You can be quiet. I know you can," he said before leaving a trail of wet kisses across my jaw and down my neck.

"I'm not worried about me! You bring all the noise to this equation," I retorted, making him chuckle. The little banter seemed to take the edge off and I, involuntarily, sighed in relief. It wasn't that I didn't like him needing me in that way, but the abruptness of it had thrown me for a loop.

"Ahh!" Jasper exclaimed loudly as he stroked our rigid lengths hard and slow. My head fell back against with wall with a muted thud as I bit my lip to stifle my own moan. I was able to clamp my hand over Jasper's mouth just before he emitted another guttural groan that would alert his mother and sister to what we were doing.

His breath was hot and moist on my palm, and that seemed to turn me on even more. My own need for Jasper revved, and his desire flared once more, feeding off mine. I thrust into his hand once then twice before licking my other palm and adding my hand to the grip around our cocks.

I watched Jasper's eyes roll to the back of his head as we jacked ourselves toward climax. Our hands worked together in perfect tandem, and the tight heat felt so fucking good that I could barely stay on my feet. I knew that it was only Jasper's hips pinning me to the wall and the arm he had wrapped around my waist keeping me upright. Needing more of him, I quickly swapped my hand over his mouth for my own and swallowed every sexy little sound he made.

"God, E! I'm going to come. Are you close, baby? Please, tell me you're close," he said into my mouth desperately before pressing his thumb into that sensitive spot just under the head of my cock. My hips bucked violently, and I managed to force what would have been a roaring growl into a tiny squeak just before it erupted from my throat. I was definitely close, but I couldn't form the words to tell him so.

I felt a hot splash on my lower belly and Jasper's sharp intake of breath against my lips. Watching Jasper's orgasm wrack through his body sent me spiraling into the same bliss he was in. It took all I had not to make any noise, but I managed to stay silent and muffle Jasper with my hand pretty well. We took a few minutes to catch our breath and come down from our high with gentle kisses and caresses.

"Better now?" I asked, cupping the nape of his neck in my hand.

"Always. Whenever you're here. With me."

The look in his eyes was unlike anything I'd ever seen from him or any other man for that matter. A chill shivered down my spine as my heart melted; overwhelmed yet again. I wanted to step away from him, but with the wall at my back, there was nowhere to go.

"Let's go get changed, yeah?" I said, moving sideways around him and leaving his office. Jasper followed close behind me as we jogged to his bedroom, and we cleaned up and changed out of our soiled clothes as quickly as we could. When we got back down to the kitchen, Rose was setting the table while Maggie fiddled with Jasper's stereo and sipped a glass of wine.

"Boys!" Maggie exclaimed when she saw us. "We'll let dinner simmer for a little while longer and then we can eat."

"Great! I'm starving," Jasper replied.

"Oh, didn't Edward sate you upstairs?" Rose asked, feigning confusion. Jasper glared at her and put up his middle finger behind his mother's back. I scoffed and rolled my eyes at their childish behavior, but I had to admit it was preferable to all the unexpected admissions and declarations that had been made throughout the day. This was more normal, like any other day we'd spent together, and fortunately, the rest of the night played out in the same manner.

Despite the dinner taking place in Jasper's home, Maggie proved to be a great hostess. She was charming, entertaining, and kept the conversation flowing, and I found myself adoring this woman more and more with every word she spoke. After we'd all finished eating, Rose and I handled the cleanup while Maggie and Jasper disappeared into another room to talk.

"She loves you, you know," Rose said as she pulled on a pair of yellow cleaning gloves.

"The feeling is mutual."

"I can tell," she smiled, bumping my shoulder with hers.

"I've never met a mother like her. Immediately accepting after seeing her son with another man."

"That's because she wasn't looking at your sex. She was looking at the happiness on her son's face."

What if I had come home with a man that truly made me happy all those years ago? Would it have changed the way my parents reacted? Would it have been easier for them to accept? To understand? Deep down inside I knew that nothing would have happened differently, but I couldn't stop myself from entertaining the thought. From thinking that it was the way that I'd come out as a gay man opposed to the simple fact that I was a gay man.

After all the dishes were washed, dried and put away and the leftover chicken and dumplings were divided between Rose, Jasper and me to take home for later, Maggie and Rose decided it was time to call it a night.

"You have my number, Edward, and I expect a phone call from you soon! We have to set up a date so that Alistair can meet you too!" Maggie said, speaking of her husband and Jasper's dad.

"Sure, Maggs. I'll call as soon as I know my work schedule for next week," I replied, kissing her on the cheek.

"Perfect!" she said happily. "And maybe you could help these ingrates remember that I didn't raise them to ignore the only mother they have."

"I'll do my best," I responded with a chuckle.

"That's all I ask!"

After a final exchange of hugs, kisses and goodbyes, Rose and Maggie were gone, and Jasper and I were alone. He closed and locked the door behind them before slowly turning to face me. Tension exploded between us, and it was almost unbearable. My patience was damned near gone, and Jasper must have known that because he put up his hands in a surrendering and placating manner.

"Please, Edward, just let me explain."

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><p><strong>There you have it, lovelies! Leave a review and tell me what you think, okay?<strong>


	31. Chapter 31

**_SM owns._**

**_Many thanks to my beta, cocoalvin!_**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

Edward and I decided to take our conversation to the bedroom. I chose to perch on the edge of the bed while he stayed standing and against the wall. I watched him intently as I tried to figure out just what I wanted to say. He seemed to be waiting patiently, and for that, I was grateful. I needed to be very clear about everything I said to him.

Talking to my mom had been very enlightening. Maggie was a very perceptive woman, always had been. She'd known there was more going on with Edward and me than just her barging in on us, and I readily told her everything. Maybe I didn't call or go see her as much as I should have, but I would never turn down the opportunity to receive my mother's golden advice. She'd helped open my eyes to how I was actually feeling about Edward, and that was scary in and of itself. There was no way in hell I would tell Edward what I felt at this point, but we did need to get some things out in the open and be honest.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up to meet Edward's eyes but his were averted. "E," I said, calling his attention to me.

"I'm not mad at you, Jasper. I just don't know what to think or what the fuck is happening here," he told me.

"Before I talked to my mom tonight, I was going to apologize, but I've changed my mind. You're upset because I told my mother you're my boyfriend, but I did that because it's the easiest way to define what we are. Let's be honest with ourselves though, Edward. We spend almost all of our free time together, fuck like rabbits, spend days at a time at each other's place, and take care of each other. You _are_ my boyfriend and I'm yours.

"As for the thing with the clothes, I didn't mean anything by it. I do love you being in my home, and I definitely wouldn't mind if you were here more often. For the most part though, it was an impulse move. It doesn't mean that you have to move in or anything like that. You invited yourself over here with enough clothes to last two weeks, and I didn't freak out over that. If you're going to be here for that long, you may as well have some closet and drawer space, and there's no need for you to freak out about that either," I said, deciding that the blunt approach was the best approach.

Edward's eyes were flitting around wildly in their sockets. I sat quietly, letting his wheels turn. My boy was big on introspection, and that was something I loved about him. Whenever he said things to me, I knew that he'd sorted through his thoughts thoroughly and was sincere about every word he uttered.

"I was just blindsided with the closet stuff, Jasper. Maybe I shouldn't have freaked out like that, but a ton of shit happened in a small amount of time. I handled it badly and I'm sorry. I can also see your point about calling me your boyfriend to your mother, but we said that we were going to take things slow, babe," he said, his eyes pleading me to understand.

"Edward, there's a difference between moving slowly and not moving at all. I understand that you're scared. After all you've been through, who wouldn't be? We've been seeing each other for a long time now, and to my knowledge, I haven't hurt you yet. It's not my intention to ever hurt you, and I'm going to try my fucking hardest never to do it unintentionally. What I need you to understand though is that I'm scared too. This is my first relationship, and I'm terrified that I'll fuck up and lose you. I'm terrified that you're too fucked up and broken to ever be put together again, and that you're going to let a bunch of shitbags who aren't even in your life anymore ruin what we have! But I've got faith in us, and I need you to have faith in us too because in the past seven months not one thing has happened to make me think that this won't fucking work!"

I'd hurt his feelings. It was clear in the way that his body jerked away from my words as if they were fists I'd hurled at him. I shot up from my seat and rushed forward to take him in my arms. He deflected my attempt though and shook his head at me.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean that. I don't know why the fuck I said that!"

"You didn't mean to say it, but you did mean it," he replied, his eyes boring into mine. I was stunned into silence by his hollow emerald eyes and by the realization that there was actually some truth to what he said. There was definitely a better way I could have worded my argument. Adjectives like 'fucked up' and 'broken' were never a good way to describe a person, but all in all, I'd meant what I said.

"It came out all wrong," I amended, trying to apologize in any small way I could.

"It's fine, Jas," he sighed, stepping around me and walking toward the bathroom. "I'm going to shower and call it a night, okay? I'm tired, and I'm guessing you could probably use some sleep as well," he said.

"Edward, I think we need to talk—" I began, but he cut me off.

"We have talked. You said what you needed to say, and I apologized for the way I reacted. If there's anything else that needs to be said, it'll have to wait until morning," he said before coming to stand before me again. He took my face in his hands and kissed me so deeply I thought he was trying to claim my very soul. When he pulled away, I was left lightheaded and breathless.

"I'm not angry about what you said, Jasper, but that's all I can take tonight," he said, leaving me no choice but to obsess over if he was telling the truth or not. Nodding my head, I kissed him one more time before letting him go take his shower. I left the bedroom and wandered around the house aimlessly, not knowing what the hell else to do. I couldn't bring myself to regret what I'd said to Edward. He needed to hear it, and I needed to say it. Now that all my cards had been put on the table, I had no idea what to do next.

After a couple hours of distracting myself with cleaning, emotional eating and a fruitless attempt at writing, Edward sought me out. I didn't hear his approach, but the instant he appeared in the doorway of the kitchen he had my full attention. He looked adorable standing there in his blue flannel pajama pants and white t-shirt as he yawned loudly before he spoke.

"Are you coming to bed anytime soon? It's kinda hard to sleep in your huge ass bed all alone," he said with sad, hopeful eyes. "I need you," he added in a whisper.

We stared at one another for a long time before I finally stood from my seat and walked over to him. Once I was within reach, Edward laced our fingers together and kissed every one of my knuckles. When he finished worshipping my hand, he turned on his heel and led me up the stairs to the bedroom. He undressed me slowly and waited until I was nice and comfortable on the bed before molding himself around me. Feeling his warm, hard body resting partially on top of me with our long legs tangled together was like quenching a hundred year thirst, and I sighed deeply, letting my content be audible.

"I don't mean to make things difficult," Edward whispered.

"I know you don't, baby. Difficult is just the way all good things tend to be. And this? Us? What we have? Is a very good thing," I responded.

"It really is."

Edward and I fell asleep a short while later, and when I drifted off, there was a smile on my face.

When the sun slipping through a crack in the drapes woke me in the morning, Edward's warm weight was no longer resting on my chest, but the smell of coffee and breakfast was filtering through the house. I followed my nose directly to the source of the delicious scent and found Edward making use of my waffle maker. He seemed completely lost in his task, but I knew that his mind was elsewhere. The problem was, I couldn't tell if it was someplace good or someplace hurtful and resentful despite the things we'd said before bed.

"'Morning, babe," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck. He jumped in shock, so deep in thought, he hadn't heard my approach.

"Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out of me," he said, chuckling at himself.

"I'm not surprised. You were miles and miles away," I replied, trying to get him to tell me what was on his mind without actually asking. He didn't disappoint.

"I was thinking about Maggie and how fucking amazing she is," he told me.

I scoffed, tilting and craning my neck to look him in the eye. "You aren't planning on leaving me for my mother, are you?"

"Ha! I haven't fucked a woman in over seven years, but for her, I might be persuaded to brush up on my skills. Like you um..._practiced_ for me," he replied.

I stared at him incredulously for about ten seconds with my mouth hanging open. "My mind has just gone to some pretty fucked up places. Can we just go back to what you were really thinking about before I came down here?"

"I've never been more jealous of one person in my entire life, and it's been eating me up inside," he said, and the whole tone of the conversation changed with those words. "The more I think about it though, the more I realize I may not have any reason to be jealous of you at all. Rose told me that the reason Maggie could accept us so easily is because of the fact that she could see how happy you were with me and that was all that mattered. My mother used to say the same thing though. 'I don't care who you bring home, Eddie. As long as she makes you happy.' Without even knowing it she put a condition on something that was supposed to be unconditional. Maggie did too though. If all she cared about was your happiness, why couldn't she be satisfied with you fucking around all the time? That made you happy, right? She put a condition on the happiness she could accept you having.

"The thing is, we started out as only fuck buddies. Your happiness with me derived from the happiness she didn't necessarily approve of. She approved of what she saw and not what she'd heard about your lifestyle. So I'm thinking that maybe my parents reacted the way they did because they only heard that their son was going around fucking boys. Maybe if they saw that I was happy, they would understand," he said with the exuberance of a child rattling off his wish list to Santa Claus.

Would my heart ever stop breaking for this man? It was clearer than ever before that even though Edward put on a fantastic show, he was still a lost little boy hoping and praying that he would find his mommy and daddy again. With all the shards of my heart, I wanted to tell him that he would, that his parents' rejection of him was all a matter of circumstance. The optimist in me believed that anything was possible and that there was chance that Edward's new theory was entirely correct. The realist in me, however, thought that that chance was in hell. The two halves of myself fought like two wolves for the position of alpha. I stayed silent for several moments, waiting to see which would win the burden of responding to Edward.

"I don't think you should get your hopes up, E, the situations, while not entirely, are _very_ different. If you're looking for answers though, Carlisle is just a phone call away," the realist gently said.

"What the fuck happened to the Jasper who hauled ass to get me away from Carlisle at the hospital?" Edward replied, suddenly angry.

"He realized that Carlisle loves his brother, and Edward would be a lot happier if he could have his family back."

"I told you that I can't and won't forgive him, Jasper."

"You won't forgive Carlisle for realizing too late that he fucked up, but you're standing here thinking of ways to gain your bigoted and unapologetic parents' acceptance?"

He had no response to that, but that was okay because I wasn't quite done. I stepped forward and gathered him into my arms once again before peppering comforting kisses on his face and neck.

"Remember what I said about good things last night? They're difficult," I said. "Forgiveness is divine, one of the best things a human being can give. It's only fitting that it would be one of the most difficult as well. You know I'm on your side though, Edward, and I always will be. If you choose to never speak to Carlisle again, I will support that decision one hundred percent, but seeing you with my mom last night and hearing you talk this morning, I think that not forgiving him will be harder for you than letting him back into your life."

I let Edward work through what I'd said, and when he finally spoke it was on an entirely different subject. I wasn't shocked or bothered by the non sequitur though. It was just the way he operated sometimes.

"When was the last time we went dancing? Esme and I used to practically live at Drip, and I can't even remember the last time I was there. Let's go tonight, yeah?"

"Sounds great, babe."

The subject was far from closed, and we'd pick it up again whenever Edward was ready. I'd be waiting, and we both knew that.

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><p><strong><em>There you have it, lovelies! Click that little button and let me know what you think!<em>**


	32. Chapter 32

**_SM owns._**

**_Thanks so much to my lovely beta, cocoalvin!_**

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><p>The music blared from the DJ booth, vibrated across the dance floor and pulsed up through my body from the soles of my feet to the ends of my hair. I was lost in the spell of the music, the writhing crowd and the free-flowing liquor. Esme was right there with me, pressing her hips against mine while I reciprocated and groped her like a straight man. It was just like old times and exactly what I needed.<p>

After dancing to a countless number of songs, Esme and I were both hot, breathless and thirsty. I would have kept going, but she hauled me over to the booth where everyone else was sitting. As we slid into our seats, I smiled, listening to Jasper's friend Peter complain.

"All I'm saying is that I've been to this club three times already for you all, but no one will come to a fucking straight club with me! And the killer part is that only two of you are fucking gay! Jasper is bi and the rest of us are straight! I don't understand how we end up at a gay bar every fucking time!" he exclaimed, punctuating his outrage by slamming his fist down on the table.

I snickered and draped my arm over Esme's shoulder. "Are you counting Esme in the straight group because there's a running debate over her possible gender identity disorder," I said.

"Totally a gay man trapped in a woman's body," Emmett nodded, stating his opinion on the issue.

"Whatever. She's just a fucking hag," Rose scoffed, taking a shot of tequila.

"Well, while you all figure it out, I'm just going to sit here and try to remember why the fuck I hang out with you bitches," Esme chimed in with a cheery smile.

Riley leaned across the table and kissed Esme on the lips, and when he pulled back, she was smiling.

"Fuck them, doll. I love you no matter what," he said.

"You are such a kiss ass," I said jokingly as I rolled my eyes.

"Well, rimming _is_ a specialty of mine," he replied thoughtfully.

Peter stared at Riley for a long moment before sighing heavily and shaking his head. "I'm not drunk enough," Peter lamented.

"None of us are," Jasper agreed as he flagged down a waitress and ordered several more bottles of various types of alcohol. Clearly, he thought we should all party hard tonight and die slowly in the morning. The conversation and good-natured ribbing continued on around me, but I tuned it out in favor of ogling Jasper. I hadn't danced with him all night and that was my fault. When we'd first arrived, all I'd wanted to do was lose myself with Esme. My time and focus had gone completely to her, but now, all I wanted was him. Our seating arrangement at the booth was all fucked up which put me as far from him as I could be. I couldn't hold his hand or even sneakily palm his crotch under the table. It was truly a tragedy.

"Gotta piss," Jasper said, ever so politely excusing himself as he left the table and headed toward the restroom. I watched him go and grinned giddily when he looked back, casting a smirk and a wink over his shoulder just for me. After he'd moved beyond my sight, Esme bumped my shoulder with hers and on her face was a smile just as giddy as mine. She clasped my face in both her hands and kissed me firmly on the lips, lingering for several seconds.

"I'm so fucking happy for you, baby," she said, leaning in so that she was speaking directly into my ear. Her words were only for me, and I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist, hoping that I could be happy for her too one day. That she could have what I did.

"One day soon, Esme. I just _know_ it," I replied, speaking into her ear as well and knowing she would understand what I meant. Something odd happened then. Her body went completely rigid in my arms, and she started hugging me tighter than she ever had before...tighter than Emmett ever had before.

"Edward, I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so fucking much...more than anyone or anything else, and I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. You believe me don't you?" she said before pulling back to look me in the eyes. I noticed that hers were getting all misty and she was starting to sniffle. It wasn't uncommon for Esme to get a bit weepy when she was really drunk, but something just felt different about this.

"Of course, sweetie. Is there something wrong?" I asked.

"No! Not at all," she said, averting her eyes away from me. "I think I've just had enough tonight. Jasper's been putting a deadly mix of things in my glass all night," she giggled unconvincingly. I knew there was definitely something going on, but her words forced my attention elsewhere. Jasper had been gone for over twenty minutes. There wasn't the excuse of the bathroom being crowded because gay guys hardly ever let something silly like having a full bladder tear them away from dancing. Quickly, my eyes scanned the bar and the dance floor trying to catch a glimpse of blond hair and the blue shirt Jasper was wearing. When I finally spotted him, my stomach churned and bile rose in my throat.

"Who the fuck is that?"

Everyone at the table stopped their conversations and spun around to see what I was yelling about.

"Oh damn," Peter muttered and the dread and panic in his voice hinted that he knew something about the gorgeous dark-haired man that had himself draped all over Jas. Without another moment's hesitation, I was out of my seat and halfway toward Jasper and the chocolate-eyed beauty. He was a bit taller than Jasper and slimmer as well, kind of lanky actually. His face was chiseled and kind of perfect though. I wanted to punch him.

As I moved closer to them, I did try to calm myself. I knew that Jasper was bi, and I was not the first guy he'd fucked. Both of those facts were easy to forget though. Whenever we ran into Jasper's past lovers they were always female, and while they irritated me, I got a little satisfaction knowing he enjoyed his cock up my ass more than he'd ever enjoyed their nasty little twats. Whenever we came to Drip, I was confident and smug knowing that Jasper hadn't touched any other men there besides me. That I was the only one he had history with. Seeing him with this raven-haired Adonis changed all of that in an instant. All my bravado and security was swiped away and only confusion, outrage and one other emotion that I was still too proud to name.

"What the fuck's up, baby?" I asked cheerily as I snaked my arms around Jasper's waist, not so subtly pushing the other guy away. Jasper looked surprised to see me while tall, dark and sexy looked at me like I'd just spit in his drink. It kind of made me actually want to do it so that his expression was justified.

"Um, E, this is Embry. We went to Columbia University together," Jasper replied with a slight note of panic in his tone. Ignoring his panic, I concentrated on quelling my own. I knew that Jasper's appreciation for the male sex began in college but sort of tapered off afterward until I came along. It was clear that this Embry person had had the privilege of sharing a bed with Jasper. I despised him.

"Embry, this is—" Jasper began before I cut him off.

"I'm Edward, Jasper's boyfriend. It's really nice to meet you," I said in a saccharine tone.

A burst of incredulous laughter was forced from Embry's chest as he looked at me with something akin to pity in his eyes. He touched my shoulder as if offering me comfort and said, "Jasper doesn't do boyfriends, honey."

I decided to give Embry my full attention because I could just feel the shock rolling off Jasper in waves. We both knew that this was the first time I'd verbally conceded the fact that we were boyfriends, but he needed more time to process and compose himself because of it. That was okay though because I was busy with this asshole who clearly didn't know Jasper as well as he thought he did, as well as I did.

"Oh, I can assure he does Embry. Jasper does boyfriends in the bed, in the shower, in the car, on the dining room table and occasionally he does boyfriends right in this very club," I told him.

Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist and started trailing kisses up and down my neck. He was standing so close to me, and I could feel his hard length pressing into my hip.

"Come dance with me, E," Jasper whispered huskily into my ear. His breath was warm and his lips were soft as they brushed over my earlobe.

"See you around, Emory," I called over my shoulder, purposefully fucking up his name as Jasper dragged me off to the dance floor. We stopped in the first open space he found, and I gasped as he roughly spun me around so that my ass was pressed right into his erection. As we began rocking to the music, he ran his hand along my thigh, past my waist and up my back and neck until his hand was fisted in my hair. He pulled my head back until it was almost on his shoulder. I moaned softly as he nipped and nibbled at the tender piece of flesh just behind my ear.

"Jealousy looks so fucking good on you, Edward," he growled, making me shudder. His free hand went under my shirt and caressed the skin of my bare belly before suddenly plunging into my underwear.

"Jasper!"

My knees buckled but Jasper leaned back so that my body rested on his. Feeling his warm hand squeezing my throbbing dick was so good, and my hips moved of their own volition to fuck his hand. It was probably embarrassing the way I was moaning and writhing when Jasper started to move his hand in time with fast pounding beat of the music but I couldn't care less. He didn't seem to mind either.

"I want you to come in my hand, Edward. I want you to show these people how beautiful you are when you come. I want you to shout my name while you do so and let them all know you're mine."

His words were turning me on almost as much as the way he was pumping my cock and pressing his thumb under the head. I didn't remember when I'd closed my eyes, but when I opened them, everyone in the vicinity was watching us. The lust and enthrall on their faces made me impossibly harder as my balls began to draw up closer to my body.

"Jasper, I'm so fucking close," I mewled before he angled his head to claim my lips with his own. His tongue plundered my mouth while he ground his cock into my ass.

"Come for me then, baby. Come in front of all these people," he said into my mouth, and on his command, I did exactly that.

"Jasper!" I roared for all to hear as thick, hot cum spurted from my dick. Several of the guys around moaned right along with me while others palmed and stroked their own cocks or the cocks of their dance partners. It was so unbelievably hot and my orgasm seemed to last forever as bliss and ecstasy clashed inside me. After what seemed like hours, my body relaxed but Jasper's erection was still prominent. I had just enough energy left to take care of it. I turned in his arms and buried my hands in his hair before kissing him deeply. I went to reach for his cock, but he caught my hand and shook his head as a sinister smile spread across his lips.

"Not here. In your bed. With you on all fours. Ass in the air and my dick so deep you'll feel it in your throat," he snarled.

We didn't even stop at the table to say goodbye to our friends. We just left and didn't feel guilty at all.

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><p><strong><em>I know it was even shorter than usual, but tell me what you think anyway, dolls! <em>**


	33. Chapter 33

**_SM owns._**

**_Many thanks go out to my beta, cocoalvin!_**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

Usually, I was dead to the world after being fucked like that, but as I lay sweaty, breathless and still trembling slightly from the aftershocks of an orgasm that just wouldn't quit, I only grew more and more restless. Jasper had fallen asleep before he could even get the condom off. Chuckling quietly, I leaned over him, relieved him of the soiled latex and deposited it in the trash on my way to the shower. It wouldn't be long before the sun rose, and I moved through my shower and daily hygiene routine quickly, wanting to get back to Jasper before he woke up.

After I was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, I didn't return to the bed. I moved around my room slowly and nosily like all people trying to be really quiet do. Luckily, Jasper's brain was still numbed by all the alcohol and fucking we'd indulged in. When there was finally nothing left to reorganize, move or rearrange, I settled into the armchair across from the bed and hugged my knees to my chest. Sometimes I just liked watching him sleep, listening to him to snore softly, and mimicking the smile that periodically graced his face throughout his slumber. It was an odd hobby, but I just needed to do it sometimes to convince myself of one thing or another. Tonight it was the fact that he was mine and I was his.

It was harder to believe in than the fucking tooth fairy, but it got easier and easier as I watched him and the silent stillness of night allowed my thoughts to gather and process without interruption. My eyes were on Jasper, but they were seeing various events that had transpired since his eyes stalked me on the dance floor that night months at Drip when I was still with Royce. Comparing that man to the man resting before me had all the contrasts of night and day, autumn and spring, fire and ice. He'd changed so much that I was surprised I could even recognize him. His transformation filled me with so many different emotions, but the two most overwhelming feelings seemed to be pride and shame.

It was stupid to pretend that the changes in Jasper weren't for and because of me. I knew it just like everyone else who knew us did, but I was ashamed that it'd taken me this long to realize it, to appreciate it. A huge part of Jasper's personality and mentality had been scrapped and replaced, changed for the better all on account of me, and I'd done nothing to acknowledge, congratulate or encourage him. I wondered if he'd become a man I no longer deserved, but even if he had, I couldn't deny that I was the man he wanted—maybe even needed—and I was selfish enough to let that take prevalence in the matter.

My thoughts came to a halt as Jasper sighed and shifted in the bed. He continued to move in his sleep as his body sought out mine before tensing when he realized he was alone. I found myself holding my breath, not knowing whether I wanted to keep watching him sleep or see his blue eyes gleam in the same morning sun that was creating a halo around Jasper's golden head on the pillow. I was left with no choice when his lids fluttered open and immediately locked with mine before I moved out of the chair and back into bed.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asked, automatically nestling close and entangling our arms and legs.

"I never went to sleep," I replied, fondling the hair at the nape of his neck. His brow furrowed in concern, but I smoothed it over with my thumb. "I had some things to do," I told him. "I...um, cleared some space for you in the closet and in my drawers. I'd really like it if you had some things to keep at my place. I've been such a coward, denying something undeniable and refusing to see what was right in front of me, and I apologize for that. We _are_ together. You _are_ my boyfriend, and I am beyond happy to be yours as well."

The look in Jasper's eyes made my heart stutter and halt. I'd never had the pleasure of having another man look at me in that way before, but I knew exactly what it was and what it meant. More importantly, I knew that the raw, uncontrollable and all consuming emotion in his eyes was one that I felt for him too. The realization should have surprised me, scared me and made me backtrack on everything I'd settled within myself and between us but it didn't. It just made sense. The man before me was a manifestation of my wildest dreams and fantasies. Why wouldn't I feel this way about him?

I couldn't deny that it didn't momentarily surprise me that he felt that way about me though, but the shock was only fleeting as I began to wonder when had I lost all my self-esteem? When had my thinking gone from not wanting to bother with monogamy anymore to no longer thinking I deserved it? That I wasn't worthy of one of the best emotional phenomenons one human experience and feel.

I stopped myself before I could get too deep into that particular thought process though. The moment was better suited to reveling. Reveling in the pure bliss of knowing, of being so connected to one person that no words, huge overly sentimental declarations or grand gestures were required or necessary. The realization and understanding was made better by the lack of words. All we could do was see and feel, and that was better than verbalizing it. Infinitely better.

"Edward," Jasper breathed, saying my name almost without sound. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine, softly as if trying to fashion his kiss after the delicate and beautiful moment we were submersed in. Following his lead, I used a feather light touch to caress his face, neck and chest. In the end though, this was the _Jasper__and__Edward__Show,_ and before long, things grew more passionate, aggressive and demanding. Unfortunately, they didn't stay that way. Jasper abruptly broke the kiss, and there was more than lust reddening his cheeks.

"What?" I asked, wondering what had made him suddenly embarrassed.

"I just...really want to go home and bring some stuff back to keep here," he said.

I threw my head back and laughed loudly before pushing him toward the edge of the bed. His excitement made me excited, and I couldn't wait to have a part of him always in my home either.

"Can you at least wait until after breakfast?"

Jasper smiled but shook his head. "I can endure a cup of coffee but nothing more."

I smiled and kissed him one more time before going off into the kitchen while he went into the bathroom to freshen up. I put on a pot of coffee, and because I couldn't help myself, I toasted some bagels for us as well. Jasper's eagerness had him choking on bits of bread and spluttering through gulps of hot coffee going down the wrong pipe. When it got to the point where I thought I would need to perform the Heimlich, I walked around the kitchen island to wrap him in my arms.

"Are you afraid that I'm going to change my mind or something?" I asked him jokingly. He chuckled and shook his head.

"No, I just...this is big for us, you know? And I feel so...fucking...joyful. I know I'm being overly dramatic and probably annoying as hell, but can't you understand? Can't you feel it too?"

I smiled warmly and nodded my head because I did. I really did. "Go on and get your stuff. And get something nice for tonight. I'm taking you out," I told him.

"On a date?" he asked with a smile that he tried and failed to stifle.

"On a date."

Jasper responded letting his dazzling smile become even more so before grabbing me by the collar and kissing me as if it was the last thing he would ever do. When he pulled away, I was left breathless and a bit dazed. It took me a while to gather my senses again, and when I did, Jasper was gone. In his absence, my apartment was silent, still and cold. I hated it, and it was then that I knew without a doubt that the steps I'd taken to make Jasper a daily part of my life were the right things to do. It was silly to think that he'd spend everyday in my apartment, but that was okay because whenever he wanted to go to his house I'd go and be with him there. Jasper's presence was becoming indispensable to me. That was a fact that thrilled more than frightened me, and I took a deep breath feeling more like myself than I had in months.

Filled with warmth and content, I took up my coffee cup and headed across the hall to Esme's place. I knew that she was probably hung over and feeling shitty, so it was only right that I go over and see how she was doing. I let myself in and followed my ears to the sound of retching in her bathroom.

"Hello darling! You look like shit," I said, smiling as I gathered her hair and twisted it into a bun atop her head and out of the way.

"Ever had a swirly in a toilet full of vomit?" she asked in a raspy and coarse voice.

"Nope."

"If you want to keep it that way, get the fuck away from me!"

I laughed at her grouchiness and leaned down to kiss the back of her neck. "I just came to spew some cheer into your day while you spewed bile into your toilet," I told her and quickly moved away before her elbow could smash into my stomach. I left her alone to finish puking and went into her kitchen to rummage around for the junk food I knew I'd find. My eyes lit up and my tummy rejoiced when I spotted abig box of cake donuts in one of her cabinets. I brewed more coffee and refilled my empty cup before making myself comfortable in her bed.

When Esme joined me twenty minutes later, she was simultaneously pale and flushed from the hot water she'd used to freshen up. She carefully climbed into bed while sipping her coffee before setting it down on her nightstand and burrowing her small frame into my side.

"So what the fuck has you so happy this morning?" she asked, sliding her leg between mine.

"Jasper. Me. Us," I replied, feeling a slight hysterical edge to my giddiness that I fought to control.

Esme tilted her head to look up at me and quirked a brow questioningly before something like recognition and joy began to light her eyes. She pulled her sluggish body up, straddled my hips and planted her hands on either side of my head so that she could look straight down into my green eyes.

"You love him!" she said in a whisper that managed to still capture all the excitement of a screaming exclamation.

My response was cut off by the ringing of her cell phone. I reached over and grabbed it for her. As I was handing it over though, the name on the I.D. screen caught my eye, and I brought it closer to my face to confirm what I hoped was a trick of the eye. When I realized that my eyes weren't fucking with me and that the number I was seeing under the name was the one I'd committed to memory despite vowing I'd never use it, feelings I'd never ever felt or dreamed I'd feel toward Esme were blossoming and boiling inside me.

Rage. Annoyance. Dislike. Betrayal. Disgust.

I looked into her eyes and knew that I didn't have to tell her who was calling. She already knew and shrank away from me in fear and guilt. Not only did she rid all physical contact between us but she moved off the bed and across the room as well. I took a deep breath and summoned every beautiful memory I had of Esme to keep myself from doing or saying something I might eventually regret. When I was calm enough to speak civil words, I asked, "Esme, why the fuck is Carlisle calling you?"

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><p><em><strong>Um...until I can get a handle on my writer's block,<strong> __**I think you all should just keep expecting slightly shorter than usual chapters. Leave me a review anyway? Please?**_


	34. Chapter 34

**_SM owns._**

**_Hugs and kisses to my awesome beta, cocoalvin!_**

**_Well, there's nothing like a crappy day to send me scurrying away to take refuge in my writing. Again, it's not much, but all your reviews were so sweet and encouraging that I decided to share this bit with you all! Hope you enjoy..._**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

Esme worried the hem of her t-shirt for three whole minutes before answering. She had kept her gaze averted that whole time, but when she opened her mouth to speak, I saw that determination had been added to the mix of swirling emotions in her hazel eyes. Whatever resolve she'd reached in those three minutes made me stand and square my shoulders in preparation for battle against an enemy I never wanted to have.

"I've been talking to him," she finally said, answering my question without offering the explanation she knew was fucking necessary. I didn't bitch about it though because firing off question after question would allow me to burn off some of the angry energy that had me practically vibrating.

"How long?"

"Since about three days after he came to see you."

"How did this happen?"

"He came to see you despite you telling him not to. You were at Jasper's. I was coming out of my apartment and saw him pacing in front of your door, muttering to himself. He was distraught and I took pity."

"Well, I'm glad to see you've now acknowledged the fact that you have a pussy since you've decided to suddenly act like one."

"Fuck you, Edward! I'm still your friend, and I still love you. Don't think I don't feel like the biggest asshole on the planet for betraying you like this, but I'm not going to stand here and let you disrespect me. After all we've been through together, I deserve more than that," she said calmly but sternly.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "What the fuck ever, Esme. Just tell me what the fuck is going on!"

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest after scrubbing her face with her hands.

"He's depressed, Edward. He loves you. He misses you. And he's alone. I'm trying to help him. He needs a friend," she told me.

"After all I've shared with you, I can't believe you can actually stand here and try to make me feel sorry for him. This is what he deserves, Esme! Do you realize that's exactly how I felt for years? Why should he have help when I didn't?"

"You didn't have any help? What the fuck have I been doing all these years? I'll be sure to inform Rose and Emmett that all their support doesn't mean shit to you! And what about Riley and Jasper? They haven't been around as long as the rest of us, but they fucking love you and would do anything for you! Carlisle doesn't have anyone!"

"No! He still has family! He has his mother! He still has a connection that I'll never have again!"

Esme shook her head at me. "It's not his fault that your parents disowned you, Edward! You can't take what they did to you out on him! And if you must know his mother died about a year after you left. She was robbed and killed during a trip she took to New York. He's more alone than you've ever been!"

It was my turn to shake my head. I did feel bad. His mother had been a nice woman, and it was a shame that she'd met her end that way. I felt bad for her but not for him because in the grand scheme of things his mother never stopped loving him. He would carry her love in his memory and in his heart for as long as he lived. I had nothing of the sort to hold on to.

"I feel like I don't even know who the fuck you are right now. Are you trying to tell me that the years I spent alone before I came to Chicago don't fucking count? He's never had to worry about where the fuck he was going to sleep or where his next meal was going to come from! I'm sorry his mother died, but he's never had to struggle like I had to! So fuck you, Esme!"

I saw the regret darken her eyes as she nodded her head. We stood there silently staring at each other for what seemed like hours. I was seething and so angry that I felt like I'd burst into flames. Esme on the other hand was slowly shrinking into herself. She'd wrapped her arms around herself and hung her head in a feeble attempt to hide the tears that had begun to stream down her face. The urge to comfort, soothe and make everything all right was instinctive and instantaneous, but I stood my ground. I didn't know how all this would work out in the end, but in this moment, she was not my family. She was not my friend.

"I was wrong to say that and I apologize. I can't say who suffered more, and I don't think that the two situations should or could ever be compared. I won't apologize for being there for him though, Edward. I cannot bring myself to regret helping someone who's hurting as much as he is," she told me before bringing her eyes up to meet mine again.

"That doesn't mean that I can't see the differences and similarities between the two situations. Carlisle played a big part in causing the pain that's he's suffering through while you're a completely blameless party in yours. Those facts tell me something else though. You have nothing to regret, nothing to make up for, no guilt to crush you every day and keep you up every night. You walked from your family with a sense of crippling loss but a sea of opportunities and freedom ahead of you. Carlisle walked away from his family with crippling loss but nothing more than grief, loss, guilt and self-loathing ahead of him. You're totally right, Edward. Carlisle didn't struggle like you did, but you didn't suffer like he did either. You rebuilt your life, but his sorrow has kept him from doing the same. He is alone, Edward, and my wanting to help him doesn't mean that I subsequently want or enjoy hurting you.

"Despite his past mistakes, he's kind, intelligent, funny and easy to be around. He's a part of you and you're apart of him. And when I see him...when I look into those eyes that are so like yours...I just feel...I...he's just like you, Edward. Carlisle is amazing. He's—" Esme's words were cut off by heavy sobs that wracked through her body. The fight drained out of her, and her body collapsed, leaving her to rest on her calves as she cried.

I'd listened to every word that Esme had said, and there was no way I could disregard the truth of every word she'd said. At the moment, it didn't matter that she was right because something else was happening here. Unconsciously, I moved to where she sat and lowered myself to the floor to join her. My hands reached out to cup and lift her tear stained face to meet mine again. There was something warring inside her, something vitally important...

"Esme?" I asked, needing to know what else was causing her this pain. She didn't answer me though. She didn't have to. It was all in her eyes. Just like it had been in my eyes this morning. She'd seen it in me just a little while ago, and now, I could see it in her as well even though our experiences were totally different. I felt it in the way the uplifted me and brought my true and best self to the forefront. Esme was feeling it in a way that she feared, that tormented her and left her with choices too difficult to make.

My shoulders sagged and my heart plummeted. "You love him."

Slowly, she nodded her head and dissolved into tears again. I sighed heavily and pulled her into my chest. I comforted her for as long as I could. I kissed her head and cheeks, rubbed her back and rocked her while cooing and whispering in her ear. That was all I had to give though. Once her cries had subsided, I had to leave her. I kissed her once more on the forehead and left her apartment. After shoving my feet into a pair of shoes and tugging on my jacket, I left the building and just started walking. I walked until my racing mind slowed and eventually numbed. I walked until my feet and legs ached and throbbed. I walked until the frosty night air was too much to bear. I walked until all I wanted to do was go back home and hideaway in my bed with Jasper. It was a true blessing that he was there when I got back, but Rose and Peter were there waiting for me too. I saw the relief light their eyes but then the concern quickly followed.

Rose gave me a critical once over before looping her arm through Peter's. "We'd better go," she whispered before starting toward the door. When she was standing before me, she smiled softly and kissed my lips. "Call me, okay?"

I nodded my head, but my eyes were on Jasper. I needed him and everyone in the room knew it. When the door closed behind Rose and Peter, Jasper rushed forward. His exhalation of relief was loud in my ear as he pulled me into a crushing hug.

"Where the fuck have you been! I called your cell a million times before I realized you'd left it here! I was fucking worried," he exclaimed, before tugging me toward the bedroom. "You're fucking freezing, Edward! Are you okay?" he asked as he stripped me out of my coat and knelt to help me out of my shoes.

I shook my head in response to his question and crawled into bed after getting rid of the rest of my clothes. Jasper followed my lead and shed all of his clothes. When he joined me beneath the covers, there was absolutely nothing between us, and I finally felt myself begin to relax.

We snuggled into each other in total silence until the atmosphere lost all its tension. It was then that Jasper leaned his head back to look me in the eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. It was clear by the way he looked and sounded that he already knew about Esme. I was one hundred percent sure her place was the first he'd gone when my absence began to worry him, and it was such a huge relief to not have to rehash the whole story.

"This morning when I looked at you, I remember thinking that love is this raw, uncontrollable and all-consuming feeling. If she feels that for him...if it's something so intense and beyond her control...how can I blame her?" I asked. "And what's more...this is all I've ever wanted for her. She's been alone for so long, and she deserves to love and be loved. How do I ask her to never see him again? How do I stand in the way of what she desperately needs?"

Jasper sighed heavily and wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"You can't, Edward, and you don't have to either. She's not asking you to forgive him, and she's not asking you to like him. She's just trying to help him, the man she loves. And what about that is wrong?"

Looking at the bare facts only, I couldn't lie. "Nothing."

"He doesn't know how she feels, Edward. She hasn't been sleeping with him, dating him or anything like that. He just comes over to see her when missing you or his loneliness gets to be too much to handle. Can you imagine how hard it's been for her to feel that way about him, see him as much as she does and deny herself what, as you said, she so desperately needs because she afraid that gaining him means losing you?"

More truth I knew I couldn't deny. The thing was...why did I have to be the one empathizing with everyone else? Esme wanted me to empathize with Carlisle. Jasper wanted me to empathize with Esme. Who the fuck was empathizing with me? Maybe it was a shitty thing to be thinking, but I didn't care. Who the fuck was on my side in all of this? I was bold enough to share those thoughts with Jasper, and he smiled at me as if I was a child.

"Edward...it's been about you for a long time now. Why don't you pass the torch?"

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><p><strong><em>Alright, click that little button and let me know what you think, babies!<em>**


	35. Chapter 35

**_SM owns._**

**_Thanks so much to my lovely beta, cocoalvin! Honestly this chapter would be a load of gibberish and trash without her!_**

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><p><strong><em>Edward<em>**

I thought about what Jasper said for a long time. All things considered, he was right. I was _that friend: _the friend that was always involved in some sort of drama or had a sob story to tell. I was the friend that everyone else always had to protect, comfort, soothe and help. The friend that people sometimes didn't answer the phone for, not wanting to hear the incredible dross I might be about to spew. To my credit though, I usually never talked to anyone until I'd figured out things for myself, but on those rare occasions when I needed another brain to make sense of things, Esme always listened to my problems objectively and gave me whatever words of wisdom or advise she could with absolutely no judgment. I wanted to be able to do the same for her, but it was impossible to look at this objectively. Though for the sake of our friendship, I would try as hard as I fucking could.

Deconstructing the situation and looking at every piece and detail would have to wait until the next day though. My brain was fried, and I was fucking exhausted. All I wanted to do was lie on the bed and be useless for several hours. I ducked my head and tried to burrow into Jasper's body. His arms wrapped tightly around my body as he started to smooth his palms over my back. The soft and steady movement was soothing and immediately began lulling me into a much-needed sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, my feet and legs were achy from all the walking I'd done the day before, and my mind was pleasantly blank. I worked hard to keep it that way as I slid out of Jasper's arms and got in the shower, as I moved mechanically around the kitchen mixing pancake batter, frying bacon, slicing fruit and brewing coffee, and as I piled food onto two plates for Jasper and me. He was still asleep, so I put his plate in the warmer drawer of the oven and tried really hard not to think about how much I'd worried him when I dropped off the face of the earth for hours upon hours. However, when I was settled at the kitchen island with a steaming cup of java and my breakfast, it was time to get this shit all straightened out in my head.

The first thing I asked myself was: what did Esme's budding relationship with Carlisle really have to do with me? If we completely disregarded the past, the answer was nothing. It had absolutely nothing to do with me, and if we were still completely disregarding the past, one might believe that their relationship having nothing to do with me _was_ the problem that I resented this man because, if he so chose, he could have a part of Esme that would have been mine had I been born straight. One might even think I feared the changes that my relationship with Esme might undergo that there would be boundaries where boundaries never existed, unavailability where there was once complete access, and my superior position in her life would be relegated or downsized.

However, there was no way we could disregard the past, so there was really no reason to think about any of that now, was there? Esme's relationship with Carlisle stemmed from his lack of a relationship with me. She'd only begun to talk to him because he was lonely, and he was lonely because he walked away from his family and sequestered himself away because of me...wait, that wasn't right. If I stood by my own statement, that would have meant that my actions caused Carlisle's pain when in actuality he caused his pain when he turned his back on me. Which would also have to mean I was involved in their relationship as merely a fringe element and Carlisle was the heart and center. And that meant...

"What's the square root of pi?"

My headed snapped in the direction of the voice as I nearly fell off my seat in shock. Usually, I heard Jasper the instant he rolled out of bed, but this morning he managed to not only get out of bed undetected but also come into the kitchen, find and retrieve his food from the oven and take up a seat beside me. It took me a minute to get over my shock and apparent obliviousness, but when I did, I thought about what Jasper said and quirked my brow.

"Um, what?"

"Well, you had that look of deep concentration on your face. I thought you might be studying for some sort of exam and wanted to help," he replied, smiling cheekily.

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help chuckling as well, as he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple. "Thinking about Esme?" he asked, a more somber expression covering his face.

I nodded. "I hate being mad at her, and after all we've been through, I owe it to her to at least try to see things from her point of view, to be as good a friend to her as she's been to me," I told him.

"You'll figure it out," he replied, leisurely combing and tugging the hair at the nape of my neck. "You always do."

Jasper knew I had things to work through in my head, and he was epitome of supportive the entire day. He kept himself quiet and occupied with writing when I needed silence and held me tight when I needed comforting. During one of my moments of comfort, I was the one holding Jasper in my arms I just needed to have something solid and warm in my arms. We were crammed into an armchair together, and though the chair was oversized, neither Jasper nor I were small guys. We made it work though. Our position was a bit awkward, but I could have stayed there for hours with him.

"You're going to forgive her," Jasper whispered as he pressed his face into my neck.

"I know."

"It's just a matter of getting yourself there, right?"

"Yup."

"Are you close?"

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, Jas. The only thing I do know is that it hasn't even been a full day and I miss her like it's been years."

I felt his lips move against my skin as he smiled, and I began to smile as well without even knowing what was behind his amusement. His smile was just infectious.

"Sometimes when I see you and Esme together, I examine every friendship I've ever had to see if I've ever loved anyone as much as you two love each other," he told me, keeping his tone low.

"And have you?"

"Nope. Peter probably comes the closest, but we don't have the level of openness you guys have. There is literally nothing you two wouldn't tell or do with or in front of each other. It's kind of fascinating," he answered, but I didn't have anything to say after that so I remained quiet. "Just go over there if you miss her so much. You know you're going to forgive her, and I'm sure she knows it too. What's it going hurt to just go over there for a little while?" he asked.

I could think of a hundred things my going over to Esme's despite not being ready to could hurt. None of them actually stopped me from doing so though. My feet moved on their own volition across the hall to Esme's place, and even though we weren't on the best of terms, I let myself in after a quick knock like I always did. _Old habits die hard, I guess_.

"You ruined the plans I had with Jasper yesterday. We had to postpone our fucking date again," I said, and she shrugged, not seeming too concerned over the matter.

"Not my fault, compadre. We talked about a lot of shit yesterday, but not once did I tell you to pull a Forrest Gump and tour the state on foot," she replied.

I snorted a laugh and joined her on the couch. She was dressed in a pearl colored silk robe and eating little liquor filled chocolates.

"Care to join me?" she asked and I nodded my head. I went back to her bedroom, shed my clothes and slipped into one of the silk robes she kept for me in her closet. When I went back out to where she sat curled up on the couch, I ignored the fact that her eyes were bloodshot and swollen and overlooked her defeated posture. There were things I needed to say, and I couldn't say them if I let myself acknowledge how truly upset she was.

"I'm still mad at you," I told her before popping a chocolate into my mouth. Honestly, the things were gross but something about the combination of the dual comforts chocolate and alcohol could provide made me keep reaching for more.

"I know. You're just here because you can't not be," she sighed before pulling my arm around her and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Fuck you for knowing me so well."

"Fuck you for not knowing me well enough to know I'm not trying to hurt you."

"Doesn't really matter whether you were trying to or not. What does matter is that you are."

"Fuck," she groused with pouting lips. "Doesn't sorry count for anything these days?"

I scoffed and she looked up at me with impossibly huge hazel eyes. "I am sorry, you know," she said.

"Sorry for hurting me, but not for talking to Carlisle, right?"

"You got it, babe."

Conversation came to an abrupt halt when Esme and I both reached for the last chocolate. We glared at one another for a long time before we realized that neither one of us was going to surrender.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Let's just fucking share it," she said before placing the chocolate between her teeth and tilting her head up to me. I leaned in the rest of the way and pressed my mouth to hers, clamping my teeth on the other side of the chocolate. We bit down at the same time, and I wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck to keep our mouths sealed as the liquor gushed and threatened to dribble out of our mouths. Giggling, we pulled away from one another and I tucked her tighter into my side.

"I'm so fucking mad at you," I repeated, laughing all the while.

"I know," she giggled.

"I don't ever want to see him, Esme. I don't know or care how you're going to swing that, but I don't want to see him," I told her.

"I've managed so far," she shrugged.

"What if you two get married? What are you going to do then?"

"Whoa! He doesn't even know how I feel about him! Don't fucking get ahead of yourself!" she exclaimed. An awkward silence settled over us before she looked up at me with hopeful eyes. "Does this mean I have your blessing?"

"It means you don't have my condemnation," I clarified. "When I decided to give Jasper a chance, you promised to go out on a limb with me and start dating too. I'm not going to stand in the way of something I actively encouraged just months ago, especially since you feel so strongly about him. If you choose to go ahead and date him, I'll be praying that your relationship crashes and burns every second of every day, but you need to get laid and I'm not so petty as to deny you the chance to get a sample of the Spectacular Cullen Endowment," I said.

"Wow," she said, looking at me with wonder in her eyes. "You really do love me, don't you?"

"I love you, but I'm really fucking mad you," I said, pointing a stern finger at her.

"Really?" she replied, her tone drenched in sarcasm. "Because for a second, I thought you were mad at me."

I hadn't expected to talk to Esme about all of this when I got to her place, but I was happy we did. The conversation I'd had with Esme was just the beginning; I was far from being over what I still perceived as her betrayal. Earlier in the day, I'd told Jasper I hated being mad at Esme, but more than that, I didn't know _how_ to be mad at her. There was no doubt in my mind that we'd get past this eventually, but we just had to muddle through and do it in our own way.

As I thought through things that day, I'd realized that it didn't matter that Carlisle was lonely, who caused his loneliness, or what I had to do with either of those things. The thing I needed to focus on was the fact that Esme was lonely too. Lonely in a way I could never fix, like she could have never fixed when I was in her place not long ago. I had Jasper now, and the near perfection of our relationship over the last couple weeks had incensed the return of my romanticized ideals and belief in happily ever after. Esme wanted, needed and deserved a happily ever after, and if he could make Esme feel the way Jasper made me feel, I could keep a stiff upper lip and be happy that my friend was happy.

When I went back to my apartment a couple hours later, Jasper was cooking in my kitchen. I stopped dead in my tracks and took a deep breath before going over to stand behind him.

"If I can be a good friend and forgive Esme, I can be a good boyfriend and choke down whatever concoction you're brewing on my stove," I told him as I rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Are you trying to suggest my cooking is for shit?" he asked in a cool tone.

"I'm doing more than suggesting, baby. I'm declaring."

He laughed loudly and turned in my arms to place a chaste kiss on my lips. "I'm just heating up some leftover stew I picked up from my mom's while you were at Esme's. I can guarantee its deliciousness," he told me. "I also had to guarantee our attendance at brunch on Sunday at my parent's place. Maggie misses you."

"Good because I miss her too." I smiled.

Jasper rolled his eyes and turned the heat under the stew down to its lowest setting. He grabbed my waist and pushed me against the kitchen island.

"I take it things went well over at Esme's?"

"Relatively," I nodded. "I've decided that I don't care enough about Carlisle to let him ruin one of the greatest relationships I have in my life. I'm done letting my past screw with my present and I damn sure won't be letting it fuck with my future. Despite what happened between Carlisle and me, I know he won't hurt her, so fuck everything else."

Jasper smiled at me, and it was filled with both pride and lust. "What a smart boy you are," he murmured huskily. "I think you deserve a reward, and luckily, I already have one in mind."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, quirking a brow.

He nodded and sank down to his knees. "I'll give you a hint. It's wet and warm, and it'll make you come so hard you won't be able to stand."

I didn't get a chance to reply. All I could do was brace myself against the counter and enjoy one of the best blowjobs I'd ever had.

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><p><strong><em>Hello dolls! I just wanted to let you all know I now have an InsaneJournal account! It's not dedicated to this fic, but I will be posting all updates, the occasional teaser, some extras and lyrics, quotes and pics there that inspire the chapters there. Check it out if you are so inclined at athena-thena(.)insanejournal(.)com<em>**

**_Now, click that little button and let me know what you think!_**


	36. Chapter 36

**_SM owns._**

**_Many thanks to my speedy fast beta, Cocoalvin!_**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

It was odd watching Esme and Edward interact after Carlislegate was busted wide open. They still behaved the same around one another. They laughed and joked about weird things like always, but sometimes there would be this moment when Esme would have to leave and Edward just knew she was going to see Carlisle. Esme would smile apologetically but shrug like she really didn't give a shit at the same time, and Edward, in return, would press his hands together and lift his head to the sky as if in prayer. They would both laugh and then Esme would leave. I didn't know what the routine meant and I never asked. It just felt like an inside joke that should stay between them.

I was too busy preparing to be concerned with their antics anyway, because I knew without a doubt that one day Edward would run into Carlisle again. There were a myriad of ways Edward could react to that situation, and I needed to be prepared for every single one of them. I also needed to prepare for a second fallout between Edward and Esme. That was a likely outcome as well and would probably be the hardest to deal with since he'd already vowed to only be concerned with Esme's happiness.

All my preparation was internal though. Outwardly, all I focused on was keeping Edward as happy as possible. It seemed as if he'd been enduring one emotional trauma after another for the past several months, and I just wanted him to relax and have a good time. Whether he would have a good time at my parents' house or not remained to be seen. As we drove to their Lake Shore Drive high-rise condo, it appeared that I was more nervous than Edward. Mom had already met him and she loved him to death. There was nothing to worry about there at least. My dad on the other hand could be a bit..._much_.

Maggie hadn't given us a specific time to be there. She'd said as long as we arrived before noon we'd be fine. Edward insisted that we get there before then, and that's how we ended up on my parents' doorstep at 10:00am.

"Everything is going to be fine, Jasper," Edward assured me with a slight chuckle and roll of his eyes. "What do you think is going to happen?"

I sighed and tried not to think of all the things that could. After I was as calm as I could be, I used my key to let us in. The smell of my mother's cooking filled my nose as soon as I opened the door, and the warm aroma comforted me and reminded me that I was home again. A smile spread over my face as I grabbed Edward's hand and started toward the kitchen. My good mood shattered the instant we crossed the kitchen's threshold though. There was my dad standing behind my mom with nothing on but his boxers and a pair of tube socks. I couldn't even bring myself to describe the way his hips were moving against my mom's rear. It was just...emotionally scarring.

"Senior!" I yelled to get his attention and stop the madness. Maggie turned and gasped when she saw us. Senior, however, was completely unperturbed as he turned to face us, revealing a smiley face on the crotch of his shorts and a very prominent erection. I was embarrassed beyond belief, and Edward doubled over, clutching his stomach as he laughed and filled the room with the sound.

"Jasper, I told you to get dressed! You knew the kids were coming over!" she shrieked, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. "Edward, honey, I'm so sorry," she said with a pleading look in her eyes. The apology was wasted on Edward though because he was still laughing his ass off.

"I'm sure this is not the first erection Edward's seen, especially not with Jasper as his boyfriend!" Senior laughed heartily before slapping me on the shoulder as if that was some sort of joke between us.

"Edward, this is my dad, Jasper. We all just call him Senior though. Senior, this is my boyfriend, Edward," I said, making introductions in an exasperated tone.

"Nice to meet you, Edward," my dad smiled, extending his hand. Edward managed to accept my father's hand even though he was still battling through a small fit of giggles.

"Nice to meet you too."

"Senior, just go put on some fucking clothes for chrissake!" Maggie yelled.

Dad rolled his eyes as if her request was a huge imposition but headed toward the bedroom anyway. I shook my head after him and then went over to hug my mother. She gave me an apologetic look before kissing my cheek.

"I really did tell him to get dressed, Jas," she whispered in my ear. I nodded my head, knowing that she did. My dad was just out of control sometimes. We'd learned to love him for it, but Edward was a new addition. I'd wanted to ease him into the lunacy.

"Hey, Maggie," Edward said, taking his turn to hug my mother. She held him in her embrace longer than she'd held me, and from the looks of it, he got squeezed tighter as well. "And you don't have to apologize to me. I really have endured worse with Jasper...and Rose on occasion," he told her.

"I can only imagine," she replied, shaking her head.

I poked around the kitchen, trying to see what we were having as Edward and Maggie chatted. My mouth watered as I spied link sausages, Belgian waffles, French toast, and redskin potatoes among a plethora of other dishes. My mother was of the idea that no brunch was complete without mimosas, so I wasn't really surprised when I saw three bottles of champagne, chilling in preparation.

"Jasper, I've still got some cooking to do. Why don't you give Edward a tour?" Maggie said, bringing my attention back to them.

"Sure."

I took Edward by the hand and led him through my childhood home. The place was pretty huge and Edward was very impressed. We'd been through the formal dining room where brunch would be served, the sitting room where the floor to ceiling windows offered a dazzling view of Lake Michigan and Navy Pier, the library, the entertainment room, Rose's bedroom, and then I finally showed him my bedroom. I watched as he strolled around my old room, taking in everything, almost studying the place like a text book as he ran his finger tips across the greenish-blue walls and read the titles on my bookshelf. After he'd finished his perusal, he turned to me in the middle of the bedroom and crossed his arms.

"You never told me you were a junior," he said with a feigned accusatory look in his eyes. I smirked as an idea formed in my head. Edward and I were a good five feet apart, so when I lunged forward and tackled him onto the bed, the headboard banged loudly against the wall.

"I'm sorry, baby. How can I make it up to you?" I asked, lifting a suggestive brow and began undoing his jeans.

"Jasper!" he gasped, desperately trying to push my hands away from the last fastened button. "I'm not having sex with you at your parents' house!" he exclaimed through a child-like fit of giggles.

"Why not? I used to have sex here all the time," I replied, nipping at his earlobe and grinding against his persistent erection with my own.

"Yeah! When you were in fucking high sch— Ugh! Fuck, Jasper!" Edward's cheeks flushed and his breath caught as I took his rigid cock in my fist after finally popping that last button and roughly tugging his jeans and underwear down. He may have been protesting but his cock was hard as fucking steel and leaking profusely. He was just as turned on as I was. I leaned in to kiss his lips, and he responded immediately, pushing his hands into my hair and locking my face to his. Moaning into his mouth, I began shedding my clothes, wanting nothing between us, but the action distracted Edward and made him remember to protest. It didn't escape my notice that his protests now were a bit different from the others moments ago.

"You didn't even lock the door. You want your mother to see you with your cock up my ass?" he said through heavy breaths as he rolled his hips and fucked my hand.

"I could make you scream my name?" I suggested playfully. "That way they would know what we're doing and wouldn't even come near the door."

Edward glared at me and made to slap my arm, but I used my other hand to press my thumb against his hole, making him clutch my bicep instead. He kicked his jeans and underwear all the way off and spread his legs wider for me.

"Push it in," he begged, abandoning all arguments. I suppressed a smile, not wanting him to see me gloating in my victory. Instead, I focused on driving him crazy, adding more pressure and making tight circles to massage his puckered entrance. Edward bit down on his lip, trying not to cry out as I teased him. My eyes greedily took in every inch of his body. Everything from his cheeks, his neck and his chest was covered in a delicate blush, and the way the muscles of his hard abs and strong thighs rippled as he undulated beneath me was almost enough to make me come.

There was no telling how many times Edward and I had fucked since the day we met, but he still turned me on just as much as the night I'd first seen him. He was beautiful all the time, but when we were alone and in bed, he was sexy, breathtaking and just...incandescent. No other man or woman could compare to him.

"Please, Jasper," he whimpered when my teasing became torturous. My cock was so hard, and I needed to be inside him. I wanted to play with him a little more though. I pulled my thumb away from his ass and traced his bottom lip with my index finger until he opened his mouth for me. He sucked my index finger into his wet, warm mouth and then pulled in my middle finger as well. I groaned deep in my chest as Edward hollowed his cheeks and swirled his tongue around my fingers getting them nice and wet. It was hard not to imagine my dick taking the place of my fingers in his mouth, but we didn't have much time to drag out the foreplay like we usually did. I settled for thrusting my dick against his hip and burying my face in his neck to stifle any sound I might have made. When my fingers were wet enough, I pulled them from his mouth and immediately slid them inside his ass. He gasped loudly and arched his back, making his bare chest press against mine.

"Feels so good, Jasper. So fucking good," he whispered as I fucked him with my fingers. He was so hot on the inside and he squeezed me so tight. I used my other hand to push his left leg farther out, wanting to get my fingers as deep as I could. My assault on his body didn't stop there, and I put my lips, teeth and tongue to use as well to tug his earlobe, kiss his neck and suck and bite his pert nipples. He writhed beneath me, pulling away and pushing closer all at the same time. He was loving what I was doing but struggling to keep quiet. I knew I'd never hear the end of it if my parents heard us, but I couldn't care less. I wanted to see Edward lose control, wanted him loud and wanton and wild.

I quickened the pace of my fingers in his ass and kissed a trail up from his right nipple back to his lips. I devoured his mouth in a fevered kiss and our tongues twisted and tangled.

"Fuck me, Jasper. Fuck me. Fuck me!" he chanted into my mouth. My response was to press my fingers into the slit of his cock and my other fingers against his prostate. He moaned loud enough for Esme to hear him back at their building miles and miles away. I tried to keep kissing him to stifle the sound a little, but Edward turned his face away, preferring to keep moaning and mewling unhindered. I took a moment to smile down at him before lunging toward my old nightstand. After what seemed like hours of searching, I produced a condom, but there was no lube.

"Fuck it! Fuck it, I don't care! Just fuck me, Jasper! Please," he whined.

I was too horny to think straight, and I couldn't tell him no with him begging and writhing like that. Suddenly, an idea struck. I rolled the condom onto my dick and slid down Edward's body until I was on eye level with his cock. Not wanting to waste any time, I sucked his engorged length into my mouth until my lips met his hairless pelvis—he'd just gone to get waxed two days before—and swallowed around the tip.

"Oh, shit! Wait! I'm going to come! I'm going to come," he warned frantically pulling my hair and the bed clothes. I took a deep breath through my nose and moaned around his hot, hard cock before I began bobbing my head at a dizzying pace. My own cock was so fucking hard, and I just needed him to come. Edward went from moaning uncontrollably to going completely still and silent. His dick grew impossibly harder on my tongue, and I knew he was about to shoot. I pulled off at the last second, using one hand to cover his mouth and the other to cover the head of his dick. His body convulsed as he groaned and uttered muffled words I couldn't understand with my hand over his mouth. The important thing though was that I'd caught every last drop of his load.

With one hand, I flipped him onto his stomach and pushed him up on his knees. His ass looked so beautiful up in the air, straining back toward me as he shuddered through the last waves of his orgasm. I buried my face between his soft cheeks and worked my tongue into his tight little hole.

"Oh, my God!" Edward groaned with a hoarse voice. I licked him vigorously, letting spit flood my mouth and drip into him. When he was wet enough, I stroked my sheathed cock with a hand full of his cum, grabbed his hip and buried my cock in his ass all the way to the hilt.

"Fuck!" I shouted leaning over his body to muffle my words with the skin on his neck. My arms constricted around his body as I tried to adjust to being inside him. I knew I wouldn't last long but that was okay. Edward was still hypersensitive from his orgasm, and I knew being inside him so soon afterward would probably be too much for him to handle. I was beyond the point of controlling myself though, and I needed to come.

As I began moving my hips, I fucked him hard and slow, trying to go as easy on him as I could. It felt so good to finally be inside him, and I whispered in his ear, telling him every single thing I felt.

"You're so hot, E. I can still feel your ass pulsing from when I made you come. Nobody makes me feel like you do. You're the only person who could drive me crazy like this."

He was beyond the point of speaking, but his sharp intakes of breaths and helpless keening let me know he heard and liked what I was saying. He rolled his hips, rocking back onto my cock as I pushed forward, and I took that as a sign that I could go faster. My balls began to tighten the instant I picked up speed.

"Shit! Shit! Jasper, please come! I can't...I can't—"

My face was still buried his neck, and I nodded my head to let him know that I was close. I dug my fingers into his hips and used my thumbs to push his cheeks apart, wanting to be as deep inside him as I possibly could be when I came, and after just three more punishing, erratic thrusts, my orgasm hit and rushed through me like water bursting from a dam. I growled loudly, sounding more animal than man as my cum spurted from my dick almost painfully. It wasn't until after I'd collapsed on top of him that I felt him shuddering and his ass fluttering around my softening length from a second orgasm.

I felt a small twinge of pride for being able to make him come again so quickly after the first one, but mainly, I was just concerned for Edward. I rolled off him and cleaned up as best as I could with the Kleenex on the nightstand. After quickly tossing the soiled condom and tissues in [the] direction of the trash, I pulled a heavy and exhausted Edward into my arms and ran my fingers through his wild, auburn head.

"You okay?"

He nodded sleepily, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Sore?"

"A little," he yawned. "That was fucking amazing though, Jas," he mumbled and lifted his face in expectation of a kiss. I showered not only his lips but also his face, neck and shoulders with sweet, loving kisses.

"Go to sleep, baby. You've got time," I whispered.

He nodded once more and was asleep in the next second. I stayed in bed with him and pulled the blankets up over us. Holding him close and feeling his steady breath eventually lulled me to sleep as well. I didn't know how much time passed before Maggie came in to wake me, but when she did, there was a tender smile on her face.

"You two had better get up soon. You've got just enough time to shower before it's time to eat," she whispered, not wanting to wake Edward.

"Okay," I replied, feeling my cheeks redden in embarrassment. Fucking Edward had seemed like a wonderful idea before, but now I realized it might be more than a little awkward breaking bread with my parents knowing that they knew what we'd been doing.

"Don't worry, baby. We're all adults here," my mom said, guessing what I was thinking. I sighed feeling relieved and smiled gratefully at her. "I won't be washing these jizz filled sheets though. You can do that yourself. And open the window! It smells like a fucking brothel in here!"

She fanned the air in front of her face and left the room chuckling. Once she'd closed the door, I woke Edward and herded him into my adjoining bathroom. We'd only slept for about twenty minutes, and he was still a bit groggy and tired. I quickly and awkwardly washed the both of us, letting him lean on me the whole time to get a little extra rest. By the time we made it out into the dining room, Edward was more alert but also nervous and embarrassed.

"I'm really sorry, Maggie. That was terribly rude of us," he said once he was seated at the table.

Maggie smiled at him but didn't get to respond. Senior had come into the dining room dressed only in his smiley face boxers and tube socks again.

"Senior! You were just dressed a second ago! What happened to your clothes?" she screamed.

"Well, hell, Maggie! If they can fuck before brunch, I can wear boxers during brunch!" he replied with his nose in the air. "Right, Edward?"

Edward looked as if he wanted to cry but nodded his head. "Yeah...sure...of course."

Senior beamed gloatingly at his wife who just threw her hands up in defeat and stormed away to get the croissants. After that, my dad decided not to try my mother's patience any further and brunch proceeded without a hitch. Towards the end of the meal, my parents exchanged a look before Senior turned in his seat to face my boyfriend.

"Now, Edward, Jasper tells me you lived in California for a while?"

"Yeah, I lived there for a few years before moving here. I loved it there," Edward responded with a smile full of happy memories. A matching smile covered my dad's face as he nodded in agreement.

"Me too. I was stationed there years ago when I was a Navy man. Maggie and I have been trying to plan a trip there this summer for the whole family. Let me know when you're able to get time off so that we can plan accordingly, okay?"

Edward's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. His eyes flitted around the table, seemingly to make sure he was understanding correctly. When his eyes settled on Maggie, she smiled brightly and nodded her head.

"We want the _whole family_ to come," she assured him.

"Well...actually I have tons of vacation time saved up. I can take up to a month off whenever I want," Edward finally said, his voice thick with emotion.

"Perfect!" Maggie exclaimed. "We should go in June then! Maybe we can even go to down to Mexico for a while. I've always wanted to go that place the girls went to in Sex and the City!" she said excitedly.

Senior narrowed his eyes and pointed a stern finger at my mother. "Maggie, I am warning you now! I will not be calling you Samantha and you will not be calling me Smith. I love role playing just as much as the next guy, but I hate it when you want to do TV characters!"

I decided to tune my parents out at the point. My attention was needed elsewhere anyway. I placed my hand on Edward's thigh and gave him a comforting squeeze. His head was ducked low, but I could still see the tears threatening to spill down his face.

"Hey," I whispered, leaning forward and tilting my head to get him to look at me. It took him a while, but when he did, I kissed his lips, pressed my forehead to his and stroked the back of his head. I wanted to say something to him, but there wasn't really a need. We both knew what was going on. Edward was happy. Unbelievably happy. Maybe Maggie and Senior weren't his biological parents, but they were mine. They accepted me, they accepted us and more important than anything else, they accepted him. That was something he'd been waiting for his whole life and being able to share that moment with him meant more to me than anything in the whole world.

Later that night when we were back at my place in bed still basking in the glow of his happiness, I decided it was time. I'd known how I felt for a long time, and I'd known how Edward felt too. We'd been happy enough to know, understand and relay our feeling with meaningful glances, tender kisses and gentle touches, but on that night, I knew that we were ready for the words.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Jasper."

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><p><strong><em>So there you have it, Lovelies! A few of you asked for Jasper's POV, some of you asked for a lemon and some of you asked for both! Either way, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Also, I also figured I better give you a head's up. There is one or two chapters left followed by an epi for this story. With that being said, please click the little button and leave me a review!<em>**


	37. Chapter 37

**_SM owns._**

**_Thanks so much to my beta, cocoalvin!_**

**_Hello, lovelies! I just want to warn you to look out for the POV change in the middle of the chapter. This is also the last regular chapter of the story, but there will be an epilogue to follow. I hope you all enjoy..._**

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><p><strong><em>Jasper<em>**

"We're not going to California until the summer, Edward!" I exclaimed, watching him flip through catalogues and cross check those items with items on websites. He was like a maniac.

"That's exactly why he have to start shopping now! By the time summer rolls around everyone will be putting out their autumn collections. We need to at least start mapping out what we want to buy and wear. That way our actual time trying things on in the store will be cut in half. I know how much you hate shopping, Jasper. I'm doing this for you my little berry bunny drop!"

I sighed heavily and walked out of the room. Ever since Edward and I had exchanged 'I love yous' he'd taken to calling me these silly little pet names whenever we got into even the slightest of arguments. For some reason he thought calling me his 'little berry bunny drop' was going to make me give in and walk away, but that was probably because whenever he did I gave in and walked away.

Leaving him to his obsession, I went back to our bedroom and decided to put my focus on clothes as well because tonight was The Night. Tonight Edward and I were going on a date, and I was so going to look damned good for him. I'd arranged everything perfectly, and I refused to let anyone or anything stand in our way. I hadn't even told Edward about what we were doing tonight. I was afraid that if I talked about my plans the universe would hear me and immediately begin conspiring against me. The only person who had even an inkling of what was going on was Peter and that was only because he had connections. A friend of his had just opened a new restaurant and had received nothing but fawning reviews from the local foodies. The place had only been open for a of couple weeks, but their already famed Brazilian beef, cocktails and intimate atmosphere kept the wait at a minimum of two hours on any given night without a reservation.

After asking Peter to talk to his friend, he'd secured a table for us that night at 6:00pm. We'd have something of an early dinner then head over to the park for hot chocolate and ice-skating. Edward had told me he hadn't been in years, and this was the last night the rink would be up. After skating, I had tentative plans to go dancing, but that was only if he didn't fall on his ass too much and, therefore, be too sore for Drip.

It took me approximately ten minutes for me to decide what to wear for the evening, and since it took Edward three times as long to perfect his look on any given day, I figured I'd better go back down to my office and try to pull him away from his wardrobe planning again.

"E, I think we should start getting ready," I told him. "Want to shower with me?"

He spun around in the swivel chair at my desk and grinned at me. "Do you even have to ask?" he replied.

Grabbing his hands, I pulled him up and we tripped and stumbled down the hall to the bathroom where I had the shower running and waiting for us; undressing each other quickly we stepped under the hot spray.

"Will you at least give me a hint as to what we're doing tonight?" Edward asked, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"There will be food and then fun activities afterward," I replied and watched as his face lit up with exaggerated glee.

"Like arts and crafts? I've always wanted to make a macaroni noodle necklace for you!"

My witty retort was forgotten when I felt his warm tongue tracing my collarbone and his finger sliding between my ass to massage my hole. I bit my bottom lip in an attempt at keeping myself quiet and under control. We really didn't have time for a quick fuck in the shower, especially since Edward and I had never come close to anything resembling a 'quick fuck' since we'd started sleeping together. In my head, I was chanting, "We don't have time. We don't have time. We don't have time!" I meant to say that exact thing out loud as well, but just as I opened my mouth to speak, Edward applied more pressure and slid his entire middle finger inside me. Blood rushed to my cock, turning my semi into a full-blown erection. I whimpered helplessly as my head dropped to his shoulder and my hips alternately rocked forward against Edward's hard cock then backward onto his finger.

"You're so fucking tight, Jasper," he whispered before licking the shell of my ear with the tip of his tongue. "I want to be inside you so bad. Is that what you want? Me inside you?"

We didn't have time. That was something I was consciously aware of and wanted to make Edward equally so. It never happened though. He slipped another finger inside me, and the burning stretch made me dig my fingers into his biceps as I hissed in dizzying pain and pleasure.

"Please," I begged, earnestly adding, "I need it. I need you inside me."

After the shortest of moments, I was filled with Edward. That was the thing about him. No matter if it was big or small, Edward always gave me what I needed—his time, his patience, his fear, his anger and his happiness. It was the hardest work I'd ever done, but I'd earned him in his entirety. It made me proud and just deliriously happy to know that he was mine, but what was better than that was the fact that I was his too. We belonged together and to one another, and the feeling of belonging was just amazing...spectacular...magnificent and any other adjective you could think of. Maybe that sounds really sappy and you might want to tell me to go find some panties to cover up my vagina, but it was the truth—pure and unadulterated.

"The fucking light is green!" I yelled at the car in front of us. "Is he trying to turn? This is not a turn lane! Who the fuck taught this asshole how to drive?" I growled under my breath and slammed my fist down on the horn.

"Jasper, babe, calm down. We'll get there," Edward said, rubbing my shoulder. There was a hint of a smirk on his face and mirth in his eyes, and the only reason why I didn't yell at him was because I could see he was trying really hard not to laugh out loud. That and the fact that he'd coaxed three of the most mind-blowing orgasms out of me before we left my house.

"I know we'll get there, but do you know how late we are?" I replied with frustration.

"Of course I don't! I don't know how late we are. I don't what we're late for. I don't know anything, Jas, because you haven't told me anything," he said with feigned cheerfulness.

I rolled my eyes and decided to focus on getting to the restaurant. We didn't have much farther to go, but there wasn't much time before they'd give our table away either. When we finally arrived, I practically dragged Edward inside and up to the hostess stand.

"Reservation for Hale," I exclaimed breathlessly.

The young, bored looking girl standing on the other side of the podium plastered a phony smile on her face. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hale. We've just given your table to that couple there," she said, pointing to...Esme and fucking Carlisle. I knew the hostess was saying something else to me, but I wasn't listening anymore. Esme, having caught the exchange with the hostess, spotted me at the exact same moment I saw her, and I imagined we were wearing identical expressions of panic. I tore my eyes away from her to glance at Carlisle, but because his back was turned, he wasn't aware of the building tension. It was plain in the way Edward's fingers were squeezing my wrist that he saw them as well. Shaking my head to get rid of the shock, I started toward the door, wanting to get Edward out of there. He had other plans though.

"You stole our fucking table?" he asked Esme, and even though we were in a busy restaurant, Carlisle heard his brother's voice and whirled around at the sound. My heart began racing in my chest as I scrambled to find some way to diffuse the situation.

"Correction: you lost your fucking table," Esme countered, quirking a challenging brow.

"Well, I'm here now and I want it back!"

"Finders keepers, losers weepers!"

There was a short pause and then Esme and Edward burst into laughter. Sighing at their antics, I shook my head and went over to hug and kiss Esme. I didn't know why I wasn't used to that kind of stuff by now.

"How fucking crazy is this?" she asked before wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Of all the Brazilian steakhouses, you walk into mine," I replied, making Edward laugh.

"You're lucky it's us! Of course, we're not going to take your table. We've eaten here three times already. Go ahead and sit down," Esme said, urging me toward the table they were being led to before we came in.

"This place just opened a couple of weeks ago! You've eaten here three times already?" I asked incredulously.

Esme opened her mouth to respond, but Edward beat her to it. "I'm surprised it's not more than that. Carlisle's diet consists of meat and more meat," he said with a smile and stunned all of us into silence. I hadn't forgotten that Edward and Carlisle being in the same room together was a potentially dangerous situation, but I think Esme and I had gone into survival mode and tried to keep the conversation going between the two us until we could smoothly escape without our partners getting hurt. None of us could believe that Edward had acknowledged Carlisle and in such a joking manner. As the silence stretched on, Edward started to get uncomfortable and began fidgeting as his cheeks started to redden. I didn't want to discourage this surprising new progress, so I threaded my fingers through his and kissed the spot just behind his ear.

Clearing his throat, Carlisle laughed nervously and shrugged his shoulders. "Oh, please! I remember one week you ate nothing but French fries and peanut M&Ms!"

Edward quirked a smile and shrugged. "I was thirteen. You're a grown man!"

"Well, a man's gotta eat, doesn't he?"

Edward took a huge breath and rocked back and forth on his heels. He glanced over at me and then at Esme. I could tell that he was struggling with whatever was going on in his head. My heart broke for him, and I wanted to do something...anything to help him. He had to work through this on his own though.

"A man does have to eat," Edward finally responded. "Women too. So, why don't we all just eat together?" he asked.

"Really?" Carlisle asked hesitantly as if afraid that this might be some sort of joke at his expense or that maybe Edward wasn't really including him in the 'we all'.

"Yeah...um, I think it might be...okay," Edward said. "If you...if you want to that is."

"Of course!" Carlisle exclaimed, rushing forward as if he was going to grab Edward's hand but backed off at the last minute, probably not wanting to press his luck.

"In that case, there's now a two hour wait for a table for four," the hostess said, poking her unwanted head into our conversation. I glared at her, but Esme just laughed and pulled me toward the door.

"Like fuck I'm going to wait that long," she said before looking over her shoulder at Carlisle. "Sorry, babe, we've gotta go somewhere else. I'm sure we can find some meat for you wherever we end up," she said.

Edward walked up to us and elbowed her away from me. "Can I have my boyfriend back? You have one of your own now!" he barked before mimicking her position and wrapping his arms around my waist. I reciprocated, and not being able to control myself, I claimed his mouth in a searing kiss. I had no idea what had gotten into him, but I found his being magnanimous inspiring and sexy as hell. He moaned into my mouth before he began kissing me back with redoubled fervor. When I pulled away, it was only slightly. My lips were still brushing his, and I was able to feel his smile just as he was able to feel mine.

"I love you," I whispered, squeezing him tight so that he'd know that I truly, truly meant it.

"I love you too."

It took us forever to decide where to eat, and in the end, we ended up back at my fucking house with pizza for Carlisle, Chinese for me, and McDonald's for Edward and Esme. We spread the food out on my dining room table and shared it all like a virtual smorgasbord. Even though yet another attempt at a date had fallen through for Edward and me, I still managed to have a good time.

I kept a close eye on Carlisle and Edward the whole night. I was so fucking worried that something would happen and an argument would occur. Fortunately, nothing of the sort happened. While Edward and Carlisle didn't really talk to each other, they didn't ignore each other either. More than anything else, it seemed as if Carlisle was trying not to try too hard to get back into his brother's good graces, and Edward was trying to decide if he could even handle being in the same room with his estranged sibling again. From what I could tell, Carlisle was doing just fine and my boy had no qualms.

**_Edward_**

Jasper was in the dining room cleaning up our mess, Esme was poking around Jasper's office trying to find some good porn to read, and I was sitting on the back porch with my brother. I'd asked him to come out there with me because I knew that we needed to talk. Ever since I'd found out about him and Esme, I'd been doing a lot of thinking and seeing them out tonight made for the perfect opportunity to do what I'd been encouraging myself to do for quite a while. Taking a deep breath, I concentrated on the snow-dusted grass and began to talk.

"I'm not going to sit here and say that I forgive you. What happened all those years ago still hurts. I do _want_ to forgive you though, Carlisle. I still love you, and I miss the relationship we used to have. I just need some time, okay? I still need to work through things, some of which has nothing to do with you. Tonight went well though, don't you think?" I asked and looked over to see him nod his head. I couldn't look at him for too long, but his eyes never left me. He missed me and loved me just as I did him, and those two similarities made me even more secure in the fact that one day I'd have my brother back and Carlisle would have his.

"Just to have the opportunity to regain your trust means so fucking much to me. I'll give you all the time you need, Edward. I'll do whatever it takes," he said sincerely.

I nodded my head and felt what seemed like tiny winding vines of warmth, relief, excitement and joy spread through me.

"I'd like to spend more time with you and Esme. Seeing you two together tonight made me smile. You really do make her happy, and that gives you a fuck ton of points in my book. Esme is everything to me, and her happiness is just as important to me as my own," I said, daring another glance in his direction. I wanted to see his reaction to my words, and what I saw made that feeling inside me grow even more. He loved her. Esme didn't talk to me about their relationship much, so I didn't know if he'd told her or not. I could see it though in the sparkle in his eyes, the flush of his ears and the tiny smile on his lips at the mention of her name. "Maybe you could hang out with my other friends too? I know that Esme has introduced you to Rose, Em and Riley already, so whenever we're all together, feel free to join us. I just think it might help to see you interact with other people, get to know you as the man you are now opposed to the man I remember from all those years ago," I continued.

He nodded his understanding, and we settled into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. It was cold out on the porch, but I didn't want to go in yet. Carlisle stayed out there with me until Esme came out to tell him he was late for an appointment with her vagina. I laughed at the embarrassment on Carlisle's face, and walked them to the front door. I gave them each a hug goodnight, lingering with Carlisle a lot longer than I did with Esme. I really fucking missed him.

After they'd gone, Jasper and I went into the kitchen to finish off a carton of ice cream we'd had for dessert. We sat, eating quietly for a few minutes before Jasper broke the silence like I knew he would.

"You really surprised me today," he said with a smile that suggested that he was more proud than anything else, and that filled me with the happiness and self-satisfaction that only comes from receiving the praise of someone you love.

"When...my whole...I've—" I stopped and took a deep breath. I wanted to tell Jasper what exactly was on my mind, the conclusions I'd come to, but it was proving to be a lot harder than I'd thought. My mind was racing and there was just so much I wanted to say. Everything seemed to slow down and come together when I felt his fingers in my hair though.

"When I left home, it was because there were things that I wanted, and I wasn't going to let anyone stop me from having them. I wanted friends, family, love and happiness. When I realized that I could and was taking care of myself, I felt invincible...like nothing and no one couldever hurt me. That feeling of invincibility hung around for a long time, but once I was proved wrong, it left me and I became so afraid of everything. I started hiding, and when I finally got the opportunity to have allthe things I've always wanted, I was the only thing standing in my way," I said.

"No matter how much my family hurt me in the past, I can no longer deny the fact that I still love them, and that if they were to sincerely apologize for what they've done to me I would forgive them. I was scared that if I let Carlisle back into my life I'd be setting myself up to be hurt again, but hiding from him was hurting me too. No matter what happens down the road, I don't want to regret not even trying to get something I knew I wanted more than anything because I was too chicken-shit scared. If I end up hurt again, I'll deal with that when, or if, it ever comes, but I'll know for certain that it wasn't because I did anything wrong.

"As for us...I've been looking for you for a long fucking time, Jasper, and I'm done hiding from you too. We had a rocky start, but we've both changed so fucking much. I'm not going to fight the happiness we both deserve and worked so hard for. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but I'm not afraid anymore. You love me and I know that with the utmost certainty. I hope that you are just as sure of my love for you, because I do love you...more than anything, and I'm ready to just be with you. For ever and for always," I told him, reaching up to intertwine our fingers.

Jasper's eyes shone with unshed tears, and when he leaned forward to kiss me, he started gently and worked up to a fevered frenzy that left us both breathless. He broke the kiss but kept his hands on either side of my face and stared into my eyes. There was so much playing across his face, and while I could read every single emotion and word he was feeling and thinking, I still had to hear them.

"Tell me," I breathed. "Tell me what you want."

He answered me without hesitation. "You, Edward. Always and forever you."

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><p><strong><em>And there you have it, dolls! Please click the little button and tell me what you think!<em>**


	38. Epilogue

**_SM owns._**

**_Thanks so much to my wonderful beta, cocoalvin. She's been with me from the very beginning offering her help when she already had so much on her plate. The story and I have benefited so much from her presence. I can't imagine anyone being more supportive and helpful. Working with her is truly a gift!_**

**_I hope you all enjoy the epilogue! _**

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><p>1 Year Later<p>

Jasper

"Edward, please!" I exclaimed, on the verge of dropping to my knees and begging.

He laughed and shook his head in the nonchalant way that simultaneously made me want to cry out of frustration and murder him out of rage. I'd been trying to get him to make a decision for the last two weeks and it just wasn't happening.

"I don't want more than three bedrooms, I don't want to live in a high-rise, and there has to be tons of natural light," he said.

"That's what we told the realtor! Now, it's time to choose the place we're actually going to live in from the ones she showed us!"

He sighed heavily and slumped in his chair like choosing our first home together was the equivalent of walking to the electric chair. Honestly, it was starting to hurt my feelings. This was a huge deal to me, and after almost two years of extended sleep overs, I couldn't even describe how deliriously happy I was that we were finally going to be together in one place that belonged to the both of us. I couldn't understand why he wasn't even half as thrilled and emotionally invested in this as I was.

The longer Edward and I were together, the easier it was for him to pick the thoughts straight from my head with astounding accuracy. Sometimes it really fucking scared me, and this was one of those times.

"I'm invested in you, Jasper. I want to be wherever you are, wherever puts a smile on your face, because at the end of the day that's what puts a smile on mine. Now, I've said it before and I'll say it again; I don't want more than three bedrooms, I don't want to live in a high-rise, and there has to be tons of natural light. Other than that, I just want there to be tons and tons of Jasper...and to have—"

"Total control over the decorating and furnishing process?" I said, cutting him off and taking a guess at the rest of his sentence. The mingled expression of shock and mischief on his face confirmed my suspicions. I guess I was pretty damned good at reading his mind too.

A month later, we christened our first home on the balcony that I chose and on top of a table that Edward picked.

5 Years Later

Edward

"Jasper, it's your turn," I said as the soft body between us began to wiggle and whine. Stella wasn't a tiny baby anymore, and it was probably well past the time for her to stop sleeping in bed with her daddies. I loved her so much though and couldn't bring myself to make her sleep on her own, especially when she looked up at me with those sad, brown eyes every night before bedtime.

"But babe, I'm so tired! Will you just take care of her this one last morning, and then I'll get up with her on Saturday and Sunday?" he replied.

"Jas! I've done it three mornings in row! It's your turn!"

"Pleeeease, Edward! She loves you more than me anyway," he whispered, not wanting Stella to hear. I'd heard him loud and clear though, but how I wished I hadn't. I shot out of the bed and went over to kneel at his side.

"Jas, don't you dare say that! She loves us both equally. You remember when we first brought her home? She cried whenever anyone but you held her. You know she loves us both, don't you," I asked urgently while running my fingers through his blond, sleep-wrecked locks. He kept his eyes closed and smiled impishly.

"Of course, I know that, but since you're already up, why don't you just go ahead and take Stella for her morning walk?"

At his words, our adorable St. Bernard perked up and barked her agreement. She launched herself off the bed and ran circles around and through my legs, not knowing whether she wanted to play or relieve her full bladder. Even though his eyes were still closed, Jasper must have known I was glaring daggers at him because his smile broadened as he burrowed his head deeper into the pillow.

"C'mon, girl," I sighed, pulling on my shoes and coat. "I guess I'll just have to get used to living in a house full of animals, a puppy...and a jackass!"

8 Years Later

Jasper

"Don't open your eyes!" Emmett yelled for the millionth time even though Rose was behind me covering my eyes with her hands and Esme was doing the same for Edward.

"Happy Anniversary!"

When the Rose finally moved their hands, I immediately replaced them with my own. Edward, on the other hand, burst into loud sidesplitting laughter.

"Emmett!" I shouted. "My mother is here!"

"I helped pick it out!" Maggie exclaimed from somewhere in the room. I dropped my hands and looked at her in disbelief.

"Come on! No son of mine will be a fucking prude!" Senior shouted.

I groaned and buried my face in the crook of Edward's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. He was still laughing and being involuntarily shaken by his body lightened my mood a bit. It really was funny once I got over the shock. Edward and I had gotten married ten years ago today, and our closest friends and family had decided to help us celebrate with a huge, veiny, cock ring-wearing, cum-spurting penis cake.

"Hey, is the jizz edible? Or should I start at the source and go for the balls?" Esme asked, wielding a knife that Carlisle quickly snatched from her.

"This cake was funny in theory, but I don't want to see a cock and balls being chopped into small pieces...especially by you," he said, guiding his wife away from the cake. Seeing Carlisle's point, I buried my face in Edward's neck for a whole new reason. He laughed again and rubbed my back to soothe me.

"You know this all your fault, right? If we were in Fiji like I wanted, we'd sunbathing in the nude and drinking Pina Coladas," he said.

"The three-foot cock will keep them distracted. If you let me pack our bags while you make the reservations, we can be out of here before they notice we're gone."

It took Edward three seconds to realize I was serious, and the resulting grin on his face could have lit the sky. "Let's go!"

35 Years Later

Edward

"Jasper, those are mine!" I yelled after him as he left the bathroom.

"No, they're not!" he replied, sighing in frustration as he made his way back to where I stood. "What was the point of putting the labels on the cups if you're not even going to wear your glasses to see them!"

I grabbed my glasses that were hanging from the string around my neck and secured them on my face. I leaned forward and peered at the label that clearly read: EDWARD. Chuckling, I turned around wrapped my arms around Jasper's neck.

"I'm sorry. Do you still love me?" I asked.

"More than ever," he nodded before kissing my forehead, the tip of my nose, my chin and finally my lips. "Now, quit fooling around and put your teeth in! We're having bacon for breakfast."

"Why don't you take your teeth out and start fooling around? I want a blowjob before breakfast!"

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><p><strong><em> E<strong><em>ven though I'm sure she doesn't know, the epilogue was inspired by Flutterfly11! Her last review sparked a thought in my head that I couldn't let go. So I want to give a special thanks to her! I also want to thank all my readers and reviewers! I've been writing fanfics for a long time and you guys have been the most encouraging, inspiring and uplifting readers I've ever encountered. I even have the pleasure of calling a lot of you my friends! This has truly been a pleasure for me. <em>**_**

**_**_I want to give a special thanks to kgq who has been so amazing as a supporter, a reader, a reviewer and most importantly a friend. She's been on the receiving end of countless whining and ranting episodes from me. It was her who helped me get back on track whenever I lost control of the Edward and Jasper! Thanks Jill!_**_**

**_**_A special thanks is also owed to Nancy Harrytwifan for encouraging me to be more confident and true to myself as a writer. Her words always brought a smile to my face and that means much more to me than I can express. _**_**

**_**_I also have to thank Aphrodite's Smile and D. Kinney for being so great and for introducing me to those other beautiful boys. **_**_(You know who I'm talking about!) _**_**Even though our obsession brought my writing to a standstill at one point, they inspired so much! Flove you, ladies!_**_**

**_I have to end this here because I could go on forever. Just know that I'm thankful that you all took time out of your days for me and my boys! _**

**_I've included some pics of Edward and Jasper's balcony, Stella and the anniversary cake on InsaneJournal. Check them out if your interested! _**

**_athena-thena(.)insanejournal(.)com_**

**_Now for the last time, click that little button and tell me what you think!_**


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